Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
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Last night I had 4 or 5oz of white Olive Garden wine buuuut somehow the pounds keep dropping. But if course I could've picked something better to spend 120 calories on! Lol3
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@edmudman, what a great visual! It actually makes AF travel look quite appealing. Good for you!
@AleLue_1, I, too, am sorry about your job. My job ended May 31, and a new job I thought was a sure deal now looks kind of iffy. So I'm in limbo, too, and I understand the impulse to cope "not . . . in the bestest of ways." If it helps, I'm using this out-of-work time to really do intense self-care, including but not limited to avoiding alcohol. Today is Day 7 of that, and I feel so good and ready to begin whatever job comes my way whenever and however it comes. I wish you the very best and hope something even better is being readied for you. xoxo5 -
I've missed the last two pages. Sorry, will try to catch up soon.
I just wanted to share today's struggle.
Still haven't drunk since Jan 31. However, today I declined an upcoming work social event, saying to the practice manager that I would feel uncomfortable at a large social event being 'newly' AF.
She then was pressuring me to change my mind. This stressed me out. I'm already stressed about a big run I'm doing on Sunday. She said I have a few weeks to decide.
I hope I feel less stressed after Sunday and more confident about attending the social situation. I don't want to avoid these things forever.
That stinks. I worry about things like this. I have done very few social events since going AF.5 -
Day 7 today. Yay!!! I'm going to the gym to work out and then chauffeuring my mom and sis to lunch and then on a vodka-tasting tour. We're ending at a "sotol" distillery, which is a new (to the Austin area) tequila-like liquor made from a native Texas plant (the sotol yucca). Sheer curiosity makes me want to taste that, but even in my heaviest drinking days, I didn't let myself have any alcohol while driving, so that takes care of that.
Happy Thursday, everyone!9 -
This is the resource recap thread I have been working on. Right now it is has what I found in the May thread and the first week of this thread. The new information will have an asterisk beside it.
If you have some suggestions on wording or additional resources I would like to add them so I can be done with this little project. I do think we need to err on the side of quality over quantity so removing things is an option if you don't think something is general enough help for newer people. Also, if there are more video suggestions I think we should limit it to the 4ish best ones. I will let @JulieAL1969 be the deciding vote on anything.
If you suggest a book it would be great if you include the author. If you suggest a link and it is not general help please use the format below to say what the person clicking on it might expect so I can copy and paste.
I hope everyone thinks this is a good idea. If you do the hope is that in future threads it will be posted by someone on the first page so it will be easy to find.
ETA: If you quote this post to make a suggestion please delete as much of it as you can so it doesn't clog up the thread.
TIPS:
Credit to @JulieAL1969 for this general tip list:- Make it through ten days Alcohol Free and you will be feeling so good!
- Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free 30 day program on her website called the 30 day experiment. You can join even anonymously and you get a facebook type page for you to post on your wall. But the whole site is only for people who join (and it's not on facebook).
- Arm yourself with alternatives: tea, find some mocktails, for those cravings. They say cravings last for 6 minutes so you need to find something to do for that six minutes.
- For the die hard who really wants to quit, go to youtube and check out the videos by Craig Beck; he scares you straight about alcohol. He also has a program you can join.
- Find some books to read; treat this like a college class. You will put in a lot of work but you can do it.
We are here for you; we care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
- We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
- We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
- We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
- Our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
- I've learned that not drinking makes the problems often go away (e.g. drinking out of worry about drinking).
- Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
- Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
* A Sharing Site for Women:
* http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
* General Information/Blog Sites:
* https://thesoberschool.com/
* http://www.hipsobriety.com/
* https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
* The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
* https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
*ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
* Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
* https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
* Mocktail Recipes:
* https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
* https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
*APPS:
* Dry January
* EasyQuitDrinking
* BOOKS:
* Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
* The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
* The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 publications)
VIDEOS:
https://youtu.be/T3eIiS-Rl4k
https://youtu.be/Qiueo1nVyF8
https://youtu.be/VB5WyBeFc8U
4 - Make it through ten days Alcohol Free and you will be feeling so good!
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@FraggleRock..., It's in Driftwood, near the Salt Lick (another visitor-pleaser, of course). Here is their site:
https://www.desertdoor.com/1 -
trishfit2014 wrote: »Welp I had 2 coconut rums last night..... Lost my job so I did not cope in the bestest of ways.... But today is a new day! No drinking for the rest of the week! How are y'all doing this morning with your goals?
aww sorry about the job. You can do it. btw I loved coconut rum drank it in college a lot.
@trishfit2014 thank you! I take it as a sign I should stay at home with my kiddies over the summer! Lol
Sorry to hear about your job. At least you found a silver lining and can play with the kids this summer. Xo2 -
@NovusDies You are amazing ! I love the way your brain works, organized and able to take pieces to make the big picture. I love everything you did. I have to reread your post a few times. I love the way you made subheadings for us.
You made this resource perfect. I will be sure to copy and paste it on the first of each month for people who are new to us.
I support all your ideas and tips. My brain doesn't work this way; I'm so happy you're here with us.4 -
@mdrhodes8317, while I appreciate your passion, I respectfully disagree that the program you endorse is the “only” way and that some of the posts here represent “mind games”. Some of us here are around your age and have also some years of experience behind us. A very important piece of this group is our support for each other even if our particular paths or approaches differ.
I myself have been educated on this thread by reading posts from a few folks who have been mightily helped by AA although I don’t think that would be the right fit for me.
Again, I do appreciate your input and am glad Rational Recovery has worked so well for you and many others.
I'm glad you and Novus said it, because I wanted to. What I feel is so wonderful and draws so many people to this thread is that we are so supportive and non-judgmental. We don't try to get others to follow the same rules that we want to follow. If we are AF, we don't Judge the MM. If we are MM, we don't judge the AF. We are here to support, lift up, share, learn and not Judge. We seem to be attracting alot of people, because we don't judge. Can I say, "we don't judge" enough?7 -
Also by the way, I changed my user name. I realized that you can google your user name and my old name was also my email address, so I just wanted a little more Cyber Privacy. Cyber Privacy is probably a fantasy, but it helps me feel better about it. New name. Same Me!3
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SpanishFusion wrote: »Also by the way, I changed my user name. I realized that you can google your user name and my old name was also my email address, so I just wanted a little more Cyber Privacy. Cyber Privacy is probably a fantasy, but it helps me feel better about it. New name. Same Me!
I would recognize you anywhere for some reason.
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SpanishFusion wrote: »Also by the way, I changed my user name. I realized that you can google your user name and my old name was also my email address, so I just wanted a little more Cyber Privacy. Cyber Privacy is probably a fantasy, but it helps me feel better about it. New name. Same Me!
I would recognize you anywhere for some reason.
RISE UP!1 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »trishfit2014 wrote: »Welp I had 2 coconut rums last night..... Lost my job so I did not cope in the bestest of ways.... But today is a new day! No drinking for the rest of the week! How are y'all doing this morning with your goals?
aww sorry about the job. You can do it. btw I loved coconut rum drank it in college a lot.
@trishfit2014 thank you! I take it as a sign I should stay at home with my kiddies over the summer! Lol
Sorry to hear about your job. At least you found a silver lining and can play with the kids this summer. Xo
@JulieAL1969 Thank you!!! Childcare for them is $240/ week so it's cheaper to stay at home with them til school starts anyways! It'll give me time to work on me and them!2 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »trishfit2014 wrote: »Welp I had 2 coconut rums last night..... Lost my job so I did not cope in the bestest of ways.... But today is a new day! No drinking for the rest of the week! How are y'all doing this morning with your goals?
aww sorry about the job. You can do it. btw I loved coconut rum drank it in college a lot.
@trishfit2014 thank you! I take it as a sign I should stay at home with my kiddies over the summer! Lol
Sorry to hear about your job. At least you found a silver lining and can play with the kids this summer. Xo
@JulieAL1969 Thank you!!! Childcare for them is $240/ week so it's cheaper to stay at home with them til school starts anyways! It'll give me time to work on me and them!
When I had younger kids and I had the summers off, I would tell myself that once 12 noon or 1 p.m. came around, I would stop cleaning, cooking and doing laundry, because you never can catch up with that.... and I would do something fun with the kids. IT could be as simple as hiking in the woods, drawing with chalk on the driveway, going to the local pool, a craft activity or a game....
Even though you're probably going to be low on money due to the loss of your paycheck, here's hoping that you still enjoy the summer doing simple things with those precious children.4 -
Hey guys! I just listened to David Cassidy's interview about his alcoholism and when he found out he had liver disease; it was really so sad to hear. Even though he had what some people would perceive as "everything" due to fame, he was susceptible and addicted to alcohol. I'm thankful someone on this thread suggested to listen to his interview.6
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I wish I could say I’ve been AF for June but I haven’t. If you can’t be honest here where can you be! Though I have cut back and have had some AF days it isn’t nearly as many as I want. I feel so great the next day when I don’t drink I have to wonder WTH is wrong with me that I don’t want to feel that way all the time! Oh well back to it.
I joined an aqua fit class that is every MW&F at 9am so I know I won’t drink the evening before because I can’t imagine getting into that pool and exercising hung over.6 -
amberellen12 wrote: »I wish I could say I’ve been AF for June but I haven’t. If you can’t be honest here where can you be! Though I have cut back and have had some AF days it isn’t nearly as many as I want. I feel so great the next day when I don’t drink I have to wonder WTH is wrong with me that I don’t want to feel that way all the time! Oh well back to it.
I joined an aqua fit class that is every MW&F at 9am so I know I won’t drink the evening before because I can’t imagine getting into that pool and exercising hung over.
@amberellen12 I feel ya! Small steps!1 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I am definitely a problem drinker...not officially an alcoholic YET! But it's a slippery slope to developing a physical dependency once you develop an emotional/psychological dependency on booze as I definitely have.
Ditto on the above comments relating over drinking to depression & anxiety & the kicker is that is WHY I often drink, as self-medication for those two things. BUT, I have found it only increases those two things. I have gone relatively long periods, the longest two months, without alcohol but the closer I got to D-day, the more intense my cravings became to rekindle my unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
It is the same as food for me. I helps me to avoid feeling the loneliness, boredom, disappointment, sadness, etc etc. All the feelings I would rather medicate than deal with. Do not get me wrong I have done tons of reading on my issues, been in all types of counselling, self-help stuff etc etc. AND it has all been quite helpful to get me to the point I am now. There is not quick fix to mending a broken heart, but for me alcohol/food is keeping me stuck in a depressive state and is keeping me from progressing in any efforts to shed the excess weight.
It isn't only the excess calories from the alcohol itself, but the increased appetite & the lowered inhibitions so that I really do not care what I put in my mouth. Buzzing on alcohol helps me to minimize, justify & rationalize what I am actually doing to myself. I'm abusing myself. The "reason" I turn to substances is due to past abuses from others & now I have picked up where they left off....I'm tired of hurting myself. Just another long sad story that I'm certain most, if not all, on this forum can relate to in some way.
SO, I would LOVE to get some support around this from those of you who GET IT!!! My goal is to be AF for the month of June. But in reality, the AA slogan, "One Day at a Time" is what I am for...I just need 30-one day's to take me to the end of the month...Onward & Upward & may we all reach the goals we have set whether is is abstaining or moderating our consumption.
I GET this! I am almost 5 months AF! It has been hard, but so VERY worth it!6
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