Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    erikNJ wrote: »
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »

    erikNJ.....I'm hoping you reported the guy!!!

    For one it really just happened suddenly. I was watching him like what the *kitten* is that guy doing, and when it hit me he was gone.

    Also, in my industry, if I had to report everything I see like that and take responsibility for every idiots actions - I might as well just quit and become a cop.

    Hey, I wasn't trying to ride you. I realize the "shock" of seeing something stupid takes time to process & then by the time our brains kick in, it's too late to act the way we'd like. I also realize that we can't "police" everyone or we'd have no time to live our own lives. I just wondered if you were able to call it in. Take care.

    I didn’t take any offense to your comment, just explaining my side. It is a sad part of my job. And I wish I was able to do more. Believe me, I had a moment after it happened where I wished I had been able to do something

    I'm similar. I see something; I freeze and then I realize how I should have responded. Erik- I'm sure you do the best you can in your field. It's an added burden for you. Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    @lorrainequiche59 Please feel free to share. What you are going through is incredibly stressful. We are here to listen. Xo
  • erikNJ
    erikNJ Posts: 1,009 Member
    kittybenn wrote: »
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    Yes, the whole drinking/driving stupidity. I will admit I have been that stupid in the past.

    Boy, me too. Really resonated with me. We have had friends who've been put through the DUI ringer and it is horrendous. Mandatory AA, huge fines, losing license and sometimes jobs. You do NOT want to go there.

    Also many congrats on your 12-day streak!

    I don’t think there are many of us who can say they never pushed it too far in the past.
    You are correct on all that. $10,000+ in fines, aa, no license ... and yea for me it’s an automatic loss of job. My Company has no tolerance for a DUI.
    A few years back I had a terrible scare. Driving home after I had a few drinks. I wasn’t drunk but sometimes you never know if you pushing that legal limit. I saw the red and blue lights come on behind me. I thought “well Erik, you just ruined your life”. I got lucky, didnt even ask if I had drinks, just said I was driving fast. Last time I got behind the wheel after even a drink or two. Uber everywhere.
  • como_agua
    como_agua Posts: 213 Member
    @JulieAL1969 - thanks Jewel :) whatever doesn't kill us makes us - well - you know! :*<3
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    Remember that book title several have mentioned is "Alcohol Lied to Me."
    Now that you're moderating, do you feel calmer and more patient. I've noticed that result of abstaining for many days in a row makes me deal with problems a little bit better.

    What is hard for you is you care for this person and it's really up to him to decide his path in life. I once listened to a sermon on youtube. The pastor said no matter what though you never give up on someone else. I can see that you won't.

    I think the calmness and patience go hand in hand with good sleep. Since I struggle in this department with or without alcohol I still have good days and bad. Last Saturday I had one of the worst days I have had in recent memory and there had been no alcohol for a fair amount of time.

    I am less anxious than I was but then I was mostly anxious about people finding out my embarrassing daily secret. I wish my pride were not such that it is but it is a huge relief now that my collection of bottles is at a more appropriate number.

    I don't know if you remember my post from May about how I had to take care of "drinking me" so that he didn't do as much stupid stuff but that is also a relief to not face that daily.

    Because I learned how to downsize my hangovers from a terrible roar to a meow I don't have many day after negatives that I am thankful to be rid of other than just being glad I didn't give in. I wish I had more because of how some of you describe these wonderful mornings. I am however HUGELY thankful for the ease in weight loss.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    I've been wondering today what types of reactions you guys get from drinking friends when you abstain/cut back. Also, has it caused a strain on your relationships (of the drinking sort)? Has anyone had to limit contact with certain people?

    I find that I can't be around my drinking buddies unless it is a non-drinking situation. Even then, it's different cause I'm trying to change the way I think about things. It's still early in the game for me this round, but I know from past attempts to stay sober that it involves more than just not drinking alcohol. So, this time, I know I need to work on other parts of my life that I've neglected & consistently develop some healthier habits that will help me to feel better in general. And I really need to be around supportive people who are trying to do the same thing. I am also getting my eyes opened watching YouTube videos such as Craig Beck. I don't remember who suggested watching him, but thank you for the reference.

    I am really glad I found this group cause I feel safe to express myself & appreciate all the support & love hearing everyone's stories.

    Craig Beck is one of my favorites! For about two months while I was totally abstaining I just had to say no to going out with my friends. 1) It wasnt fun to be sober and have them all drinking, laughing and dancing. 2) It is too tempting for me to go out with them. 3) It did change some relationships. One of my best "party friend" found another "party" friend; I notice on facebook that they hang out a lot just like we used to. But that's ok with me. I still love her but I cannot drink like she does. 4) After a few months, I am starting to go out more but I have to be vigilant. Because I am easily persuaded in social situations and that's a major problem for me.

    IT's getting better though. I am now dipping my toe back into the bar scene with my friends, but most of the time, I just don't go. I'm really proud of you! You are probably in a better place this month than last month. Happy to hear your thoughts. Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    Katehopes wrote: »
    Hi all! I’m late to the game in June, but I want to be AF for the rest of the month and hopefully July, too. I haven’t read all the posts but have browsed, and this seems like a great group! I just flat out drink too much, and it isn’t good for my body or my mind. If I’m going to lose this weight I have to cut out the thousands of calories a week I drink in alcohol. This is something I should do for my liver (labs were up) and hopefully having a baby soon (which for me means fertility treatments), as well. Have to make it happen, but nervous about finding out if it’s hard for me to do.

    Welcome! Just literally take one day at a time. Just for today, I will....
    Look back a few days on this thread and you will find a post by novusdies who put all the valuable links, books, and thread together.
    It isn't easy but doable. Many of us feel like you do and want to cut back. Educated yourself, have a back up plan to deal with those cravings. And you can do it! Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    It's a quiet thread today. Hope everyone is doing well. Xo
  • erikNJ
    erikNJ Posts: 1,009 Member
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    It's a quiet thread today. Hope everyone is doing well. Xo

    Was thinking the same thing. Almost all day and it never showed new posts
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    It's a quiet thread today. Hope everyone is doing well. Xo

    Was thinking the same thing. Almost all day and it never showed new posts

    I've been popping in all day too. Its the slowest I remember. I'm guessing work and nice weather.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Anyone have any fun AF plans this weekend?

    I am guessing some people will be doing something for Father's day. Our plans have been cancelled.

    My vehicle is in the shop but if they get done with it today we may go for a scenic drive tomorrow. I wrote a new recipe this week that I will be trying out. Nothing too exciting here I guess.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    edited June 2018
    Good morning, all. I was giggling thinking that it's a quiet thread because we're all out drinking and celebrating. Then, I thought maybe we all finally mastered our moderation. Either way, this thread ebbs and flows which is fine.
    I don't plan on drinking this weekend. Maybe a little today at a pool I'm going to be with my friends. But for this week, I've had 6 days AF; I've had no desire for alcohol. This weekend, we are going to tour the Reformatory (haunted) where they filmed Shawshank Redemtion. It's been on my daughter's bucket list. Father's Day- we're hosting a cookout at home. That wont be a problem for me, since for the last few get togethers at home, I have had no drinks. For me, the temptation is when I go out.

    @NovusDies That's cool that you wrote a recipe. I've never really done that.
    @snoo61 and @erikNJ Yes, I was spot checking the thread and for at least 9 hours nothing posted.
    @Katehopes Welcome to the thread. You can look back for some tips and advice. You can also read how sometimes the best intentions dont always work out, but we forgive ourselves, learn and move forward. You can do it!
    @lorrainequiche59 You got a great point even one day of sobriety is a victory. Well said! Because it's true. Xo
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I didn't think about it until now but when I am moderating I do have more leftover creative energy for the kitchen. Cooking is my main artistic outlet.
  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    Hi All! Happy Friday!
    Been moderating pretty good. I have a couple of fun things planned for the weekend. One of my friends is having a 50th BD party for her hubby. Not sure if I'm having a drink or not. The wine will be flowing... For Father's Day, Hubby and I are going to ride the Harley for a few hours. We're going to make a stop in Pine Mountain to eat at a southern food buffet restaurant for lunch. Looking forward to it. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    I’ve been with granddaughters for 3 days. Home tomorrow. I’ve been reading but not posting. Day 15. Yay! @JulieAL1969, funny but my experience is the opposite of yours. I can easily resist in social situations even if alcohol is flowing. But at home I have a real struggle. I’m thinking how “nice” it would be to get home tomorrow after a long drive and have a nice drink. Grrr.

    @NovusDies, cooking is my “therapy” too. Last week I blanched a ton of kale and froze it in little balls that look like frozen spinach. It makes me happy to add one to my smoothies. Monday we’re driving to Fredericksburg to score some peaches. I’ll be doing all kinds of things with them next week. I really need outlets to distract myself at home.

    Happy Fathers Day, dads. I never know what to get my husband but driving to Fort Worth I heard a Fresh Air interview about a new book I know he’ll like (about the long history of political activism among African American athletes). I managed to buy it here while he’s at home. Victory! He’s almost impossible to surprise.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    It's a quiet thread today. Hope everyone is doing well. Xo

    I have been popping in from time to time. I have had a very busy week at work though, so not much time to comment. I also try not to spend too much time on this thread at work. My company has the ability to monitor our internet usage and when I start to see all of those banner ads about alcohol treatment centers and what not, it just makes me think about how public these forums really are. Just paranoid thinking, but hopefully some of you understand where I am coming from.

    As far as drinking moderately, this week has been a good one. I have not had anything to drink since Saturday and have felt pretty good about that. It's not likely I will drink this weekend either. We are going to my husband's parents house for the weekend. His brother will also be there from North Carolina. His family is the very definition of moderate drinkers. His dad always keeps beer on hand and they will "have a beer" after dinner or during the afternoon. He and his brother might have a glass of bourbon before bed, but nobody ever goes overboard. I actually enjoy being there in that environment. It's completely different than at my mom's house where everyone is always coming over with bottles of wine (ironically, neither of my parents drank at all). Sometimes I have a glass of wine at my in-law's house, but it's really easy for me to stay in control for fear of having too much to drink and acting stupid. Since I have not had anything to drink yet this week, I will probably just carry on with the trend.

    I hope everyone has a great weekend and Happy Father's Day to all of you dads!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    @donimfp Bring me some of your peaches. I just had an idea for a peach ginger chutney I am not salivating over.

    I will drink in social situation but I have no problem abstaining and if I do drink I am quite reserved. I am most tempted at home with no guests so I think I got the short end of that deal though.

    @lporter229 I am cautious on the internet too. I know "too much" about data mining. This might help though:

    http://optout.aboutads.info/?c=2&lang=EN

    You should definitely remain cautious at work though. It is too easy to see everything you do on the network.
  • erikNJ
    erikNJ Posts: 1,009 Member
    We are gonna do a little bbq tonight so I am gonna have a few light beers.
    Saturday and Sunday plans are with the families for mine and my wife’s sides of the families. None of our parents are drinkers so the weekend will be alcohol free
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,371 Member
    trishfit2014 wrote: »
    I have been reading a new blog, unpickled. It is her journey of going AF. I am really enjoying it and can relate to her a lot. She talks about needing a community to go AF. She keeps her giving up wine a secret for a while. I have not really told anyone except this thread. I have told a few people I was giving up alcohol to lose weight. I think it is bigger than that for me though. On the losing weight front I am almost 10lbs down at 49 days AF.

    I read some of unpickled and really enjoyed her blog. Thanks for the reminder. I will go back to it. Awesome weight loss= Amazing AF days ! Xo
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  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Busy day pacing, waiting for test results. No news. Good news is I got a lot of steps, LOL. Haven't gone over my drink limit but went over calories. I'm ok with it. Its just so hard not knowing.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Busy day pacing, waiting for test results. No news. Good news is I got a lot of steps, LOL. Haven't gone over my drink limit but went over calories. I'm ok with it. Its just so hard not knowing.

    @snoo61 Sorry, I missed what test results you're waiting on. Wishing you patience and a good result.

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