Online Dating

Spin533
Spin533 Posts: 44 Member
Online dating is really a looks game.I'm overweight for my height and it really gets you down when it comes to dating.


Last few dates I have went on have told me no "chemistry " .In other words you're fat. One I dated for a bit just used me.....


2 dates did not tell me exactly what they did cos they well off but was easy to dechipher what they did.I guess some women went with them for their money.


So I've deleted the apps and want to loose 2 stone before going back.I might just go on a paid one like Match as perhaps people more serious there.
I want to loose the weight for myself but obv I want men to be attracted to me too and not fob me off with some lame excuses.
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Replies

  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    You should join in on The Singles Hangout" thread for some of the discussions on dating apps, and Match. You'll find that they're all about the same.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,589 Member
    Im overweight and found my hubs online. Its not about weight, its about finding the right person. It took some digging but I found what I was looking for ;)

    As long as your honest and not putting outdated pics or something up they should know what they are getting into.

    My thoughts exactly, it's just another tool in the toolbox for meeting potential partners. Of course, there is a lot of little deceptions going on, just like any dating situation, but old pic and photo shopping is a real problem. Most studies have found that women tend to misrepresent on weight and men on height and income.

    Wonder what response I would get if I wrote in my profile that I was a leprecaun that begged for Lucy Charms... :trollface:
  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
    Oh god... Dating sites are just awful. Focus on yourself and your goals, but please don't have higher expectations if you decide to give it another go. I've used paid for dating sites in the past and was just as disappointed as you seem to be.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,507 MFP Moderator
    Im overweight and found my hubs online. Its not about weight, its about finding the right person. It took some digging but I found what I was looking for ;)

    As long as your honest and not putting outdated pics or something up they should know what they are getting into.

    My thoughts exactly, it's just another tool in the toolbox for meeting potential partners. Of course, there is a lot of little deceptions going on, just like any dating situation, but old pic and photo shopping is a real problem. Most studies have found that women tend to misrepresent on weight and men on height and income.

    Wonder what response I would get if I wrote in my profile that I was a leprecaun that begged for Lucy Charms... :trollface:

    Hey they say there is someone for everyone :lol:
  • go_cubs
    go_cubs Posts: 1,183 Member
    It’s not about weight

    Online dating sucks in general because some people don’t take it seriously

    They use it as a faster way to hook up I guess you could say
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,721 Member
    edited June 2018
    I have lacked chemistry with men I find very attractive, which is really disappointing because chemistry is a requirement for me.

    When people talk about weight not being an issue, it's true. I've been on and off a site for longer than I care to admit. During that time, MFP records that I've lost 25 lbs, but it's really closer to 35 because I was too embarrassed to enter my actual highest weight. I didn't get more quality dates after the weight loss and didn't meet a special someone. Losing the weight isn't a magic elixir.

    Taking time off is never a bad idea, I have done it regularly to reflect on my experiences.
  • Spin533
    Spin533 Posts: 44 Member
    Thanks for all the replies.
    I had hoped for a different outcome when I went back but thanks for putting me straight.:)

    Be great to meet someone organically but I do think people go out looking then too.
    My friend met her husband playing mixed tag rugby.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,589 Member
    Spin533 wrote: »
    Thanks for all the replies.
    I had hoped for a different outcome when I went back but thanks for putting me straight.:)

    Be great to meet someone organically but I do think people go out looking then too.
    My friend met her husband playing mixed tag rugby.

    Scrums do get pretty up close and personal...

    You could say that.
  • jaycanchu
    jaycanchu Posts: 265 Member
    I’ve online dated, and it’s a crapshoot. The saying “nobody’s perfect” is definitely proven.
    Losing two stone is a good idea, but there are plenty of people out there that will enjoy you for what you are
  • Spin533
    Spin533 Posts: 44 Member
    I think though I will feel happier when loose the weight and that will come across.:)
  • gamerbabe14
    gamerbabe14 Posts: 876 Member
    I met my now fiancé on Tinder when I was 61lbs heavier. Just my experience. Not to say I didn't have bad online dating experiences but for me it worked out.
  • itwentthere
    itwentthere Posts: 404 Member
    I signed up for Ashley Madison, so far the only people that have messaged me want me to sit in a chair in a corner for some reason.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,870 Member
    Online dating is a total crapshoot. "No chemistry" doent neccesarily mean "too fat".. Now, if you represented yourself in a dishonest way, thats on you.. get used to disapointment. But, assuming you were totally honest, then there are a hundred factors besides looks that could be at work. I have been on more dates than i can count and chemistry has happened like 4 times...its freaking rare (at least for me)...My point is, it's a numbers game..if you are gonna do it...you gotta have persistence and fortitude.
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    I tried the Match thing for 3 months. No dates, but a lot of losers and scammers, and the last one had a criminal record, so I cancelled the date and told him to not contact me. Very scary. Then I cancelled my subscription and deactivated my account. No one needs that level of stress in their life, and pay for it too.

    Not from a dating perspective, but I am socializing with groups from Meetups in my area, learning some dance steps, playing board games, going to movies. . . give that a try.
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,503 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    klkarlen wrote: »
    I tried the Match thing for 3 months. No dates, but a lot of losers and scammers, and the last one had a criminal record, so I cancelled the date and told him to not contact me. Very scary. Then I cancelled my subscription and deactivated my account. No one needs that level of stress in their life, and pay for it too.

    Not from a dating perspective, but I am socializing with groups from Meetups in my area, learning some dance steps, playing board games, going to movies. . . give that a try.

    Meetups are the way to go. Good choice!

    How do you find these meet up groups?
  • PWRLFTR1
    PWRLFTR1 Posts: 324 Member
    If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself not because you think it will get you some man. I have friends that are overweight and do quite well with online dating. If you continue doing online dating, do not go in thinking every date could be your soulmate or "the one" and definitely don't think "no chemistry" means "too fat", more than likely it means just that, no chemistry.