Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?

RachelElser · July 2018

Every year, when I switch out warm weather clothes to cool weather clothes, I hang the initial set up with the hangers facing the wrong way. When I go to swap again, if the hangers are still the wrong way that means I didn't wear it in 6 months so I get rid of it!

MindfulNat · July 2018

Last week my 3 kids helped me declutter their bedroom closet and mine too. We donated about 12 bags of clothes!!! 12!!! Felt so good!!!
Next stop is the kitchen.
Question to those who got rid of bad relationships...how did you do it ? Simply stopped talking to them? Did you let them know you were going to stop?
Thanks!

snoo61 · July 2018

momofoli wrote: »

Last week my 3 kids helped me declutter their bedroom closet and mine too. We donated about 12 bags of clothes!!! 12!!! Felt so good!!!
Next stop is the kitchen.
Question to those who got rid of bad relationships...how did you do it ? Simply stopped talking to them? Did you let them know you were going to stop?
Thanks!

That's wonderful! I'm itching to get to my kitchen too.

cabwj · July 2018

I took last week off work and spent nine days sorting, purging, and organizing my entire house, shed, and car. I'm in So Cal and it was brutally hot through a few of those days but it felt really good to push through it. Took more than one carload to donation almost every single day.

iowalinda · July 2018

[quote="momofoli;c-42291641Question to those who got rid of bad relationships...how did you do it ? Simply stopped talking to them? Did you let them know you were going to stop?
Thanks![/quote]

IMO, it's better to just distance yourself, or make yourself less available to the person you are trying to end the relationship with. If you announce it, it may invite a nasty confrontation, depending on the person.

NewLIFEstyle4ME · July 2018

momofoli wrote: »

Last week my 3 kids helped me declutter their bedroom closet and mine too. We donated about 12 bags of clothes!!! 12!!! Felt so good!!!
Next stop is the kitchen.
Question to those who got rid of bad relationships...how did you do it ? Simply stopped talking to them? Did you let them know you were going to stop?
Thanks!

First a big ole YAY YOU (and your darling children) for getting rid of 12 bags of "stuff", that's just tremendous, period. Now onto the biggie...HOW did "you" do it--getting rid of (or letting go as I like to see and call it, of BAD relationships. Now this is the way I did it---everyone is different (of course) and it's not "necessarily" a one size fits all. I "LET IT GO" with several people. Most of which I've known all of my/their lives--that was the toughest part. Here's how I did it. I DARED to believe Jesus when He said:

John 8:32 (KJV) “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

What?!? How?!? you may wonder. Ya know, for more years than I dare to count...I've live a lie, period. Living in a fantasy world of "everything will be alright if I just go along to get along" and it's/that's a lie. Going along to get along with toxic people (no matter who they are) WILL show up in your life in the form of stress/mess/delusion/mental issues/physical issues (in my case, becoming obese/lazy/yuck--etc.). Once I DARED to first KNOW and then be MADE free by THE TRUTH, and then humbling myself (because believe it or not, to truly love someone one MUST be humble. The opposite of humility is PRIDE/selfishness/self-exaltation & preservation and all that jazz. Once I DARED humble myself to see the TRUTH about the relationship/situation--BAM! My eyes were opened and I saw that it wasn't even so much the other person as it was ME. Once I started to HATE lying (about what was really happening to and around me)/pretending (if I just (fill in the blank) and everything will be okay/going along to get along (being quiet/angry/sullen/bitter) but trying to so-call "keep the peace" when in reality...there was no peace, ever--just living a lie/fantasy.

Okay, then what?

Apologizing to the person(s) for faking and/or going along to get along and letting them know I really don't want fellowship/hangout/have a relationship with them anymore, because frankly I do not like nor trust them. Because of my lack of trust in/of them, I don't respect them nor want them around me anymore. No finger pointing, taking ALL the so-called blame or fault but letting them know their friendship and/or being a part of my life has come to an end and there is nothing they can say or do to change that. They live in a different reality than I do and I no longer will be a part of their reality anymore, period. When you look a person dead in their face and/or communicate with them in a I MEAN BUSINESS...NO TURNING BACK, PERIOD. It is amazing how they back off like a big dog--BOOM!

What are these "personality" spirit types I've cut to the quick?
Users/manipulators
Liars/Sociopaths/Psychopaths
Folks whose lifestyles and life choices are diametrically opposed to mine
Folk who wear me out (mentally, spiritually, financially) and get on my nerve/make me sick
People who use their positions in my life as obligations to "support" them in their mess (family members mainly)
Drama kings and queens and folk who look for trouble (you know the type).

Long story short ANYONE who hinders me from being the best I can be, no matter how nice (because believe it or not, this has NOTHING to do with being "nice". 90% of the folk I listed above are so-called "nice". It's NOT about if you are "nice" or not. It's about are you a destructive "force" in my life? If so, BYE FELICIA (as the young people say). NO matter who you are. Now their are a couple of people in my life who just don't get it, no matter how much I've shared/discussed it with them. Those folk, I generally ignore (not returning calls, not hanging out with, etc.) When they do call or visit, I'm polite, but as quiet as a church mouse, I aint got thing for them, nothing to contribute one way or another. They soon get the message. Absolutely NO bitterness, NO anger, NO VENGEANCE. Just NO non-sense I only got this one life to live and I'm no longer allowing evil/mess/foolishness/wickedness/YUCK to mold me, shape me and go along with it anymore, ever. Why? Because....I DON'T HAVE TO---Boom and YAY!
Wow...for so many YEARS, I really believed (based on society's standards of what I must be obligation to do/be in regards to family and long-term friendships, etc. Get outta here. I can't believe I put up with such YUCK for so long, because "they/society" says I have to because their my (fill in the blank with family members). {{{eye-roll}}}}

For those that don't care for the "spiritual" biblical way of getting rid of folk (while still loving them/forgiving them, but not "casting pearls among swine, so to speak), there is this show called "The Dog Whisperer" A guy named Milan and watching those shows will open your eyes to how MANY problems with people in your life (even though this show is about dogs bad behaviors), it's amazing how if you apply these principals with your "frienemies" how you can develop ways of getting YOURSELF in check FIRST so that you can then check others and/or get rid of problems and people you just quite frankly no longer care to fellowship/communicate with EVER anymore.

Hope this isn't too long---YIKES!

I hope more people add what they've done to give "toxic" relationships the steel toe boot too.

ETA Please note: I'm NO doctor nor any of that "stuff". I'm just an older person who sure wishes I would have taken this road and way many many moons ago. This is working for me something wonderful--I surely can not and WILL not say it will work for you in your life--just FYI!:

WagsTowson · July 2018

I have a HUGE decluttering coming up. We are having the upstairs floors refinished, ripping up carpet, sanding and refinishing. 3 bedrooms and hallway, one bedroom is an art studio, one my office and the 3rd, guess what!? It's a bedroom! But I have closets to clear out, furniture to move, etc. I'll probably start this weekend even though the floors won't be done till late August. Can I add this as exercise calories? LOL.

RubyRed427 · July 2018

happytree923 wrote: »

I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up around the same time I started counting calories and I totally agree that decluttering can help with the mental part of weight loss. It's so much easier to cook when I'm not having to dig around a bunch of clutter in my small kitchen, easier to exercise when I can't use cleaning as an excuse, and having a clean space is so much better for my mental health which is very very helpful. I think I've gotten rid of at least 15 kitchen garbage bags of stuff and I haven't missed a single thing yet.

I highly recommend the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up if you're interested in doing a big decluttering. The author is straight up crazy but I don't think the book would be nearly as good if she wasn't nuts. I took a slightly less aggressive approach than she recommends but still more aggressive than most (ie haven't used it in a year or two). Her philosophy is very helpful for reminding yourself that no, the world will not implode if you get rid of something and need it later, and you most likely will not need it anyway if you're debating getting rid of it.

I have her book on my shelf. i also watched some of her youtube videos. She makes sense. The one hard thing to do is to not clean room by room. She recommends cleaning by category- for example, take ALL the books in your house , put them on the floor and look at each one and ask "Does this spark joy?"

I always learned to go room by room but her way probably makes more sense. I have a lot to do in the next two weeks; my husband is going on a long trip, and my goal is to sort and take care of my STUFF. I'll be respectful of this things (he's keeps his stuff in piles everywhere and is keeper of nostalgic items like dozens of books from long ago, college notebook etc. ).

So, I plan on getting my own things in order while he's gone. And that will make a huge difference in how I feel internally, emotionally and probably improve my body image too.

RubyRed427 · July 2018

@NewLIFEstyle4ME Thanks for sharing your philosophy for getting rid of toxic people. I think I've always been a people pleaser and peacemaker. But all that's brought me is pain and frustration. As I age though, I am making some good improvements in setting boundaries, fading out people who bring me down, etc. I will reread your post a few more times; I am grateful for this thread. I've learned so much from all of you.

Orphia · July 2018

"Less consuming, more creating."

Absolutely love that.

That's defined where I'm getting to be lately.

Orphia · July 2018

momofoli wrote: »

rid of bad relationships...how did you do it ? Simply stopped talking to them? Did you let them know you were going to stop?
Thanks!

I haven't had any really bad relationships, or if I did, I've let them go and forgotten about them.

I have, however, let one friend go, who I used to hang out with. She stopped contacting me when I lost weight and started running.

Since then, I've contacted her during significant events in her life, and she's said thanks nicely enough, but she hasn't done the same.

Basically, I still show her respect for our long friendship, but I don't feel bad if she doesn't need me to be her fat friend anymore who makes her look good.

I guess it's hard when a person's status in a relationship changes.

happytree923 · July 2018

JulieAL1969 wrote: »

happytree923 wrote: »

I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up around the same time I started counting calories and I totally agree that decluttering can help with the mental part of weight loss. It's so much easier to cook when I'm not having to dig around a bunch of clutter in my small kitchen, easier to exercise when I can't use cleaning as an excuse, and having a clean space is so much better for my mental health which is very very helpful. I think I've gotten rid of at least 15 kitchen garbage bags of stuff and I haven't missed a single thing yet.

I highly recommend the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up if you're interested in doing a big decluttering. The author is straight up crazy but I don't think the book would be nearly as good if she wasn't nuts. I took a slightly less aggressive approach than she recommends but still more aggressive than most (ie haven't used it in a year or two). Her philosophy is very helpful for reminding yourself that no, the world will not implode if you get rid of something and need it later, and you most likely will not need it anyway if you're debating getting rid of it.

I have her book on my shelf. i also watched some of her youtube videos. She makes sense. The one hard thing to do is to not clean room by room. She recommends cleaning by category- for example, take ALL the books in your house , put them on the floor and look at each one and ask "Does this spark joy?"

I always learned to go room by room but her way probably makes more sense. I have a lot to do in the next two weeks; my husband is going on a long trip, and my goal is to sort and take care of my STUFF. I'll be respectful of this things (he's keeps his stuff in piles everywhere and is keeper of nostalgic items like dozens of books from long ago, college notebook etc. ).

So, I plan on getting my own things in order while he's gone. And that will make a huge difference in how I feel internally, emotionally and probably improve my body image too.

Yeah having to stop myself from going room to room was borderline upsetting at first but it really helps. For example when I went through all my personal care items I had things stored in the bathroom, my closet, and my bedroom. Putting it all together helps you see what is redundant (do I need five hand creams?) and now the shampoo bottle graveyard under my bathroom sink is gone and hasn't come back!

I probably sound like her publisher or something but I just really love her book.

ladyreva78 · July 2018

happytree923 wrote: »

JulieAL1969 wrote: »

happytree923 wrote: »

I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up around the same time I started counting calories and I totally agree that decluttering can help with the mental part of weight loss. It's so much easier to cook when I'm not having to dig around a bunch of clutter in my small kitchen, easier to exercise when I can't use cleaning as an excuse, and having a clean space is so much better for my mental health which is very very helpful. I think I've gotten rid of at least 15 kitchen garbage bags of stuff and I haven't missed a single thing yet.

I highly recommend the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up if you're interested in doing a big decluttering. The author is straight up crazy but I don't think the book would be nearly as good if she wasn't nuts. I took a slightly less aggressive approach than she recommends but still more aggressive than most (ie haven't used it in a year or two). Her philosophy is very helpful for reminding yourself that no, the world will not implode if you get rid of something and need it later, and you most likely will not need it anyway if you're debating getting rid of it.

I have her book on my shelf. i also watched some of her youtube videos. She makes sense. The one hard thing to do is to not clean room by room. She recommends cleaning by category- for example, take ALL the books in your house , put them on the floor and look at each one and ask "Does this spark joy?"

I always learned to go room by room but her way probably makes more sense. I have a lot to do in the next two weeks; my husband is going on a long trip, and my goal is to sort and take care of my STUFF. I'll be respectful of this things (he's keeps his stuff in piles everywhere and is keeper of nostalgic items like dozens of books from long ago, college notebook etc. ).

So, I plan on getting my own things in order while he's gone. And that will make a huge difference in how I feel internally, emotionally and probably improve my body image too.

Yeah having to stop myself from going room to room was borderline upsetting at first but it really helps. For example when I went through all my personal care items I had things stored in the bathroom, my closet, and my bedroom. Putting it all together helps you see what is redundant (do I need five hand creams?) and now the shampoo bottle graveyard under my bathroom sink is gone and hasn't come back!

I probably sound like her publisher or something but I just really love her book.

Ditto! It was eyeopening to me to actually throw everything onto one huge pile. A bit frightening too. But it was also reassuring to know that today I can sort through just my books. Then tomorrow through my clothes. And so on. It somehow made it more manageable than room by room.

NewLIFEstyle4ME · July 2018

VUA21 wrote: »

The best thing I've ever done for myself:

Getting rid of the toxic people in my life. This included a lot of my family.

After that, 90% of my stress went away and I could focus on me. End result: lost 180lbs, enrolled back in school to finish my psych degree, off my anxiety and depression meds, overall happiness increased 1000X's.

Wow...it's real, how when (not if...but when) we "allow/ignore/put up with/go along to get along with/feel obligated to bow down to (serve and support and actually "worship") and be influenced by and live with/by "hollywood" love (instead of REAL and TRUE love), which is actually the exact opposite of what "hollywood love is--hollywood love is NOT REAL, period. It's a FANTASY/DELUSION--it TRULY is and it's because we've ALL been taught/trained/programmed and indoctrinated by the media/hollywood and society (education/schools, entertainment/entertainers and news, music, movies, magazines, etc.) that we live the "messy lives" that we do. ALL of our lives we been brainwashed/programmed to what so-called "love" is. I KNOW THIS IS AND CAN SOUND offensive and hard, but it's the TRUTH and when we KNOW THE TRUTH, we'll me MADE free from so much yuck. We've also been taught and trained ALL of our lives that if we don't "go along to get along", if we CHOOSE not to applaud/cheer/support the sociopaths, psychopaths, "crazy-makers" and all around toxic folk in our lives---especially those who just happen to be a family member (or long-term friend)then we are CONSIDERED: 1.) mean 2.) wrong 3.) unfair 4.) crazy. 5.) a "hater" 6.) something/someone negative 7.) anti-social

--What's so "wicked/twisted about keeping/supporting toxic people in our hearts, minds and lives is...IT DOESN'T HELP THEM AT ALL--IT'S MAKES THEM (and us) WORSE AND/OR IT DOESN'T MAKE THEM SEE THEMSELVES FOR WHO/WHAT THEY ARE AT ALL. Going along or keeping these folk in our lives is like encouraging and giving them PERMISSION/LICENSE to continue their and our our own mess. Well...as your most excellent results of LETTING GO of said folk, how your very mind, body and spirit excel.

I'm right there with you and mega congrats for DARING to go against the grain, to kick fear and false hope to the curb and live your life, the only one life you'll live here on earth to the fullest and doing "whatever it takes" to be healthy/healthier in your mind, body and soul---so impressive you are

---BOOM!

allison8668 · July 2018

I need to declutter my house of 22 years - and 3 kids. There's way too much stuff here. It's just so difficult to let things go. I hope I can get into a clean up state of mind. It would make things so much better if there was less of everything. Especially since we're considering moving.

Orphia · July 2018

allison8668 wrote: »

I need to declutter my house of 22 years - and 3 kids. There's way too much stuff here. It's just so difficult to let things go. I hope I can get into a clean up state of mind. It would make things so much better if there was less of everything. Especially since we're considering moving.

@allison8668 Sounds like a plan. It doesn't happen all at once, so don't be daunted, you'll have time to get used to "getting rid" of things.

Start with sorting one drawer. Maybe your own clothes.

It all happens in small increments, a bag/drawer/shelf at a time. Best wishes.

You might as well keep trying because the time will pass anyway.

peggym4640 · July 2018

I also read the life changing magic of tidying up and it's been quite the journey to eliminate and then store. I had a serious reaction after going through my clothes and haven't gotten back to the rest of it. That being said, I absolutely LOVE everything that's left and I look great and feel amazing every day because I'm only wearing things I love and bring me joy. I will keep it going in the coming weeks.

NewLIFEstyle4ME · July 2018

allison8668 wrote: »

I need to declutter my house of 22 years - and 3 kids. There's way too much stuff here. It's just so difficult to let things go. I hope I can get into a clean up state of mind. It would make things so much better if there was less of everything. Especially since we're considering moving.

I soooooo "feel you"--I was there times 10. As the old saying goes "it aint easy, but it's worth it" and it REALLY and TRULY is. Here's some articles that will make you (and anyone struggling with this real issue) smile AND help you for sure:

https://www.thelily.com/the-art-of-decluttering-how-i-freed-myself-from-too-much-stuff/

https://www.familycircle.com/family-fun/organization/clutter/18-things-you-can-get-rid-of-right-now/

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/g4272/things-its-time-to-get-rid-of/

JessiBelleW · July 2018

[quote=

Oh. What so what do I do with all the half empty bottles of shampoo hanging around my bathroom?[/quote]

Could donate them to a women’s or homeless shelter? Or just commit to using them all up one by one?

snoo61 · July 2018

I've been using up 30 years of "scrap" yarn making beds/rugs for a local animal shelter. Yesterday it was time to start putting my good yarn in order, and away...now that there's room. I found scrap yarn in the bags of good stuff and in my laundry basket! I really thought I had it all, my daughter laughed and said and your knitting bag? Well damn! How could I not look there? I think I have a yarn hoarding problem!
I did manage, in the last 2 days, to put away all the yarn I am keeping. 4 big bags added to ravelry, logged where every skein is, and put there. Progress!

Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?

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