Tried IE, Back To Tracking - Crunch Time

laurenbastug
laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
edited November 27 in Health and Weight Loss
Hey everyone :)

Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.
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Replies

  • Gamliela
    Gamliela Posts: 2,468 Member
    Wtat's IE?
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    Sorry - IE = intuitive eating

    Yes, I probably should be more open with her. I’m so conscious of what other people think of me but need to realize she is there to help not judge >.<

    Good point about looking at it as a management tool. I hope I can learn to reframe my thinking to that so I can stop it from becoming an unhealthy obsession again.

    Thank you all ❤️
  • cathyfisher146
    cathyfisher146 Posts: 1 Member
    I understand your frustration. If I eat like a "normal" person then I pay the price. I am starting in on logging for macros but it is new to me. I wonder if this will work?? Sigh..
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    cathyfisher146 wrote: »
    I understand your frustration. If I eat like a "normal" person then I pay the price. I am starting in on logging for macros but it is new to me. I wonder if this will work?? Sigh..

    Exactly! Best of luck on your journey. The good thing about macros is it’s a basically guaranteed method for weight loss (of course so is generalized calorie counting) but macros help with ensuing you don’t lose too much muscle. Let me know if you ever have any questions - i’d be happy to help if i can.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    laurenbastug wrote: »
    Hey everyone :)

    Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

    I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

    Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

    It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

    I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

    Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

    I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

    I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

    With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

    Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.

    That all sounds very, very tiring. Hugs.

    I think having high anxiety levels about the wedding is giving you anxiety about your way of eating.

    Have you got a dress that's too small? That's probably the "worst" thing that can happen, which has plenty of workarounds.

    You don't need to be motivated to track calories. Just spend 5 minutes less scrolling on Facebook per day.
  • gia_incognito
    gia_incognito Posts: 103 Member
    I've been on a slippery slope at times too with being a little too diligent. I think of the app as a tool to keep me accountable (or a hike as it was) but stop when anything feels like punishment. It's about balance right. And for me, learning to shut down the negative talk.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    laurenbastug wrote: »
    Hey everyone :)

    Just needing to vent a little. Up until April, I had spent the past three years tracking macros pretty religiously. I got to a breaking point where I just couldn’t put any more energy into being so food focused. I essentially lost my identity and I could only be known as the health nut.

    I decided to quit cold turkey and dive into the world of IE. Mind you, my wedding is in September but I mentally convinced myself that I didn’t mind if I put on some weight. Well nearly 3 months and 20 pounds later I found that i intuitively eat like a linebacker.

    Cue panic and mayhem and now I’m back with a vengeance. I would like to lose the 20 pounds by September and unfortunately I feel myself on the slippery slope of falling back into unhealthy thoughts and methods.

    It goes against what I believe in - I know slow and steady is the way to go. But at this point, I am feeling so ashamed and frustrated - almost like I deserve the torture I’m putting myself through with an aggressive calorie reduction.

    I know it comes down to calories in/calories out, and I know for me, tracking helps me ensure I’m eating adequate calories/protein. I just feel that my current goals are riding a lot on my willpower to stay the course. I’m super motivated but at the same time annoyed that I need (almost want) to subject myself to low calories and over exercising.

    Again, I’m just needing to vent a little because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I have my mom, my therapist and my fiancé but ultimately I don’t share as much as I should because I feel so embarrassed.

    I want to learn to find a balance, but I’m so afraid I won’t. I only know how to live in the extremes. I thought IE could be my middle ground but at this point in my life it’s not.

    I hate relying so much on willpower since that ebbs and flows but I’m hoping I can get through these two months and then learn to find a healthy way to maintain.

    With my job and it’s insane workload coupled with planning a wedding, I almost feel like dieting/tracking is the one thing in my life I CAN control and it brings me almost this sense of calm and peace.

    Anyways - thanks for listening. So glad to be back on MFP and the amazing, supportive community it provides.

    That all sounds very, very tiring. Hugs.

    I think having high anxiety levels about the wedding is giving you anxiety about your way of eating.

    Have you got a dress that's too small? That's probably the "worst" thing that can happen, which has plenty of workarounds.

    You don't need to be motivated to track calories. Just spend 5 minutes less scrolling on Facebook per day.

    Haha yeah it’s actually super exhausting!

    My mom is actually making my dress so at some point she’s going to need to sew and won’t be able to make drastic alterations so I’m terrified I’m not going to fit if I don’t get my eating under control.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    mariececilia10 wrote: »
    Undereating and overexcercising will backfire. It often leads to binging and sometimes leaves one heavier than before by the time one can break the cycle. I hope you can find the patience to work out a healthy, sustainable plan. Your fiancé loves you as you are, and both yours and his happiness on your wedding day is what matters. Best of luck and congratulations!!

    Thanks so much! I know, I’ve gone this route before and binges did occur. It’s almost like I think “oh this time will be different”. I keep telling myself to go ham for these 2 months and then find a balance / healthy way to maintain :/ appreciate the well wishes though!! :)
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    gia_incognito wrote: »
    I've been on a slippery slope at times too with being a little too diligent. I think of the app as a tool to keep me accountable (or a hike as it was) but stop when anything feels like punishment. It's about balance right. And for me, learning to shut down the negative talk.

    Exactly like I thinking looking it a tool that provides the guidance and direction needed it’s better than using it a complete lifeline. One thing I noticed with IE, which I realize could be applied to macros in a sense, was that I would eat when I was hungry and obviously not when I wasn’t. When tracking macros I get so obsessed about hitting the numbers everyday so I’ll have my 200g of sweet potato even if I don’t want it when in actuality I can carry over those macros through out the week.

    Yes negative self talk can snowball really quickly. It’s about reframing those thoughts. I know easier said than done though. Wishing you best of luck!
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    jdubois5351 wrote: »
    I find myself a bit obessessed with the whole process, too, even though I'm just tracking calories, not macros. I guess once the honeymoon phase is over, I'll get a bit more relaxed. Right now, I'm so excited about my discovery of how "easy" weight loss can actually be, that I need to tell everybody :blush: .

    IE would definitely not work for me, because I solidly fall into the hobbit/shark category. Actually, I might be a hobbit shark.

    Haha yeah, it’s definitely a fool proof method that helps you get through the dieting process without feeling deprived.

    Haha yes I too am in that hybrid shark hobbit category 😅
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,085 Member
    I like food. Pretty much all food, so IE doesn't work great for me.

    Counting calories and such works - until I'm on the road every weekend for months on end, at which point in time it fails completely and miserably.

    I've been very frustrated trying to find something that works for me, my lifestyle, my desires, and my schedule.

    I know it's a fad right now, but I'm giving IF a try. Mostly a variation on the "warrior IF" as that is pretty easy and fits fairly well into what I kind of already do. Too early to tell if it will work or not, but it seems a lot more sustainable than other things I've tried. I know other things work but sustainability and something I can do no matter where I am or where I'm eating is pretty important.
  • mariececilia10
    mariececilia10 Posts: 77 Member
    edited July 2018
    laurenbastug wrote: »
    mariececilia10 wrote: »
    Undereating and overexcercising will backfire. It often leads to binging and sometimes leaves one heavier than before by the time one can break the cycle. I hope you can find the patience to work out a healthy, sustainable plan. Your fiancé loves you as you are, and both yours and his happiness on your wedding day is what matters. Best of luck and congratulations!!

    Thanks so much! I know, I’ve gone this route before and binges did occur. It’s almost like I think “oh this time will be different”. I keep telling myself to go ham for these 2 months and then find a balance / healthy way to maintain :/ appreciate the well wishes though!! :)

    I’m exactly the same way! I’ve struggled with bulimia and anorexia in the past and when I reached my breaking point I was able to achieve a healthy weight and maintain it for about a year before I tried “eating intuitively.” Which led to 50 extra pounds, which led me back here. I’ve lost the extra pounds and I’m now a healthy weight for my height but I’m still trying to lose about 10 more (I’ll still be a healthy weight.) It’s really very scary trusting that you can eat to the number MFP gives you and still lose weight. I’ve been maintaining my weight since about January, because I’ve been stubbornly trying to stick to too big of a deficit. I’m telling you, it does. Not. Work. So just a couple of weeks ago I had to really commit myself to at least TRYING to stick to the net calories MFP gave me to lose. I was so terrified I would gain but it’s been life-changing. I’m not starving all the time, I’m not (as) anxious about food, and I’m losing more steadily than I have been these last 6 months. It’s HARD, I mean really hard, to let go of dieting extremes since I’ve always had that go hard or go home attitude toward my diet and fitness. This is the first time I’ve ever tried a moderate approach to losing weight and I promise you it is so much better physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. If you can stick to an extreme diet/workout regimen for the next two months, especially with the stress of wedding planning, and then maintain whatever progress you’ve made, I admire your willpower. However, if you just try a more moderate approach I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. This was super long, but you sound very similar to me in my diet/exercise mindset so I wanted to share my experience with you. Hope it helps!

    ETA: I was binging just about every weekend because of restricting too much during the week, hence the 6 months of maintenance when I was wanting to lose.
  • notarunnermfp
    notarunnermfp Posts: 43 Member
    OP have you considered trying a more flexible way of tracking? I've tried macro counting and it can get tedious, but I know IE would not work for me either.
    I prefer to just have a calorie and protein goal. As long as I am hitting a fat minimum (which has never been a problem for me) I am not really concerned about specific carb/fat goals.
    Calorie banking can also be a nice flexibility tool. If I am not as hungry certain days, or I know I have something coming up when I want to splurge a bit more, I save a few hundred calories.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    HoneyBadger155 wrote: »
    I like food. Pretty much all food, so IE doesn't work great for me.

    Counting calories and such works - until I'm on the road every weekend for months on end, at which point in time it fails completely and miserably.

    I've been very frustrated trying to find something that works for me, my lifestyle, my desires, and my schedule.

    I know it's a fad right now, but I'm giving IF a try. Mostly a variation on the "warrior IF" as that is pretty easy and fits fairly well into what I kind of already do. Too early to tell if it will work or not, but it seems a lot more sustainable than other things I've tried. I know other things work but sustainability and something I can do no matter where I am or where I'm eating is pretty important.

    I hear ya. I think the sustainability factor is crucial. And ya I hear ya on trying to find something that fits your lifestyles and helps you keep aligned with your goals.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    collectingblues wrote: »
    Since it's not made yet, why not just make it to your current size, and then take it in if you lose weight? I sew, and taking things in is easy. She should be able to handle it easily, and wouldn't want her daughter to resort to poor behaviors to force herself into a certain size.

    Yah, we are holding off as long as possible. Problem being I feel if I don’t really get my weight under control, i’ll keep gaining and she’ll sew and then day of wedding it won’t zip. I realize there’s an element here of me overreacting but unfortunately these are real fears for me that I feel only engaging in these behaviors will help. I appreciate your suggestions and kind words and know that after the wedding I really need to get help and work through this because it just feels like it’s snowballing. ❤️
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    mariececilia10 wrote: »
    laurenbastug wrote: »
    mariececilia10 wrote: »
    Undereating and overexcercising will backfire. It often leads to binging and sometimes leaves one heavier than before by the time one can break the cycle. I hope you can find the patience to work out a healthy, sustainable plan. Your fiancé loves you as you are, and both yours and his happiness on your wedding day is what matters. Best of luck and congratulations!!

    Thanks so much! I know, I’ve gone this route before and binges did occur. It’s almost like I think “oh this time will be different”. I keep telling myself to go ham for these 2 months and then find a balance / healthy way to maintain :/ appreciate the well wishes though!! :)

    I’m exactly the same way! I’ve struggled with bulimia and anorexia in the past and when I reached my breaking point I was able to achieve a healthy weight and maintain it for about a year before I tried “eating intuitively.” Which led to 50 extra pounds, which led me back here. I’ve lost the extra pounds and I’m now a healthy weight for my height but I’m still trying to lose about 10 more (I’ll still be a healthy weight.) It’s really very scary trusting that you can eat to the number MFP gives you and still lose weight. I’ve been maintaining my weight since about January, because I’ve been stubbornly trying to stick to too big of a deficit. I’m telling you, it does. Not. Work. So just a couple of weeks ago I had to really commit myself to at least TRYING to stick to the net calories MFP gave me to lose. I was so terrified I would gain but it’s been life-changing. I’m not starving all the time, I’m not (as) anxious about food, and I’m losing more steadily than I have been these last 6 months. It’s HARD, I mean really hard, to let go of dieting extremes since I’ve always had that go hard or go home attitude toward my diet and fitness. This is the first time I’ve ever tried a moderate approach to losing weight and I promise you it is so much better physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. If you can stick to an extreme diet/workout regimen for the next two months, especially with the stress of wedding planning, and then maintain whatever progress you’ve made, I admire your willpower. However, if you just try a more moderate approach I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. This was super long, but you sound very similar to me in my diet/exercise mindset so I wanted to share my experience with you. Hope it helps!

    ETA: I was binging just about every weekend because of restricting too much during the week, hence the 6 months of maintenance when I was wanting to lose.

    thank you so much for your comment! i completely understand what you’re saying and it’s helpful to hear from someone who also feels that fear of not living black or white because it’s all i know. it’s hopeful to know that it’s possible but i know it’ll require a lot of work on my part. i really appreciate your feedback and happy to hear you have found a place of peace! :)
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    notarunnermfp wrote: »
    OP have you considered trying a more flexible way of tracking? I've tried macro counting and it can get tedious, but I know IE would not work for me either.
    I prefer to just have a calorie and protein goal. As long as I am hitting a fat minimum (which has never been a problem for me) I am not really concerned about specific carb/fat goals.
    Calorie banking can also be a nice flexibility tool. If I am not as hungry certain days, or I know I have something coming up when I want to splurge a bit more, I save a few hundred calories.

    I have heard of this and I definitely think this could be a good transition tool for me when I stop tracking. Yah I want to do the banking thing but my obsessive tendencies overpower and i eat what I planned for the day so I can be sure to hit each macro as perfect as possible. Thank you for these sugggestions though. I think these would be super helpful to implement in some capacity.
  • crazykatlady820
    crazykatlady820 Posts: 301 Member
    Maybe prelogging your day would help if you feel like you get obsessive with calorie counting (or if you’re just tired of calorie counting in general). Then, you only really have to think about calories once a day while you’re planning what to eat. Also, diet breaks (where you eat at maintenance for 2 weeks) might be something to consider in the future. I find it a great help mentally for me!
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    PokeyBug wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Gamliela wrote: »
    Wtat's IE?
    I intuitively eat like a hobbit

    I've been saying that for years. I even have changed the names of my meals on MFP to: Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Dinner, Tea, and Soupsies. I left a couple of Hobbit meals out, but that's me for the most part.

    :lol: So have I!
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited July 2018
    I have a hard time with this as well. A few weeks ago or a month ago or so I decided to stop logging and I gained a little bit of weight since then. Logging every calorie sucks my soul and I hate it but if I don't, then I just eat and eat and eat. It's so annoying. For now I am trying to be really loose with my logging just to get a general idea of how much I'm eating for breakfast lunch and snacks (up until dinner time basically) and then I know how many calories roughly I have left for dinner and possibly a bedtime snack. I may or may not log those. I believe this may work for me because I think my downfall is all the random snacking that I do and eating things just because it's there.
  • laurenbastug
    laurenbastug Posts: 307 Member
    crazykatlady820 wrote: »
    Maybe prelogging your day would help if you feel like you get obsessive with calorie counting (or if you’re just tired of calorie counting in general). Then, you only really have to think about calories once a day while you’re planning what to eat. Also, diet breaks (where you eat at maintenance for 2 weeks) might be something to consider in the future. I find it a great help mentally for me!

    yah i actually prelog my meals for the entire week. unfortunately it doesn’t seem to help with the obsessiveness. and logging on the fly just gives me anxiety :( but yes definitely going to incorporate diet breaks. looking forward to that! :)
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