Friend got the sleeve, losing rapidly.. Bitter

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Replies

  • Wetcoaster
    Wetcoaster Posts: 1,789 Member
    I will be the the bad guy.

    Who cares what she did....if it is true it is unhealthy.

    You lost 5 pounds in 1 month. Good for you . At 170 pounds you could easily lose a bit more in one month. But slow and steady is the way to go. Are you counting calories.....don’t focus on anyone besides you.
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    I think one of the things to focus on is that this should be a CHANGE OF LIFESTYLE. Yes it sucks not being able to eat them foods you use to, but this is something for the long term. When you seem to say cannot enjoy the things you use to then try to find NEW things and yes they will be different and taste different but if it was not then it would not be change.

    Those who get any type of surgery or implant to limit the size of their stomach are doing so cause they cannot control themselves. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR BEING ONE WHO CAN.

    The one thing and my neighbor had his stomach made smaller and he says SUGAR makes him sick and he cannot eat much of anything since it would make him sick as well. Not my kind of thing really. What they are doing is forcing themselves to lower their calories in and it works for them.

    You can do this slower and still be healthy just stick to it. You got this
  • dyfalbarhad
    dyfalbarhad Posts: 19 Member
    I feel your pain. I had a health crisis and came out of it determined to address my weight and food issues. (Similar weight to you). Got on MFP and went on a 1250 cal diet. Gave up my cafe lattes (used to drink several a day), all alcohol, restrict myself to 1/2 cup milk a day, no sugar or artificial sweeteners. I had quickly dropped 7 pounds during hospital stay, 3 came roaring back. After 5 weeks of dieting I was only 1 pound lighter than when I left hospital.
    BUT the feelings of deprivation are lessening, and I am learning how to cook and eat in a much healthier way. Some of the recipes I eat now really fill me up. With time, hopefully your cravings will lessen.
    Hang in there! Slow and steady is the way to go. You don’t want to trigger your metabolism into a slowdown, as in the Biggest Loser study.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,427 Member
    WLS seems the harder and riskier path to me honestly. She was 30 lbs heavier than you and I assume needed a faster lost medically. Her weight loss will slow down. She will always have to limit what and how much she eats much more than you. She can regain weight if she eats enough calories and people will judge her hard... maybe even the people gushing over her losses today. Her weight is now extremely public.

    I get that it can be hard to lose slower even though you know it is healthier for you to do so. It is easy to get impatient.
    Don't look at her posts. You should compare your rate of loss to others losing weight without surgery. 5 lbs in a month is really good progress. Your work is paying off.

    I am concerned that your post says you are hungry and gave up everything you enjoy. That says to me that you are being too restrictive anyway and may find it hard to sustain your plan long term. You did not give your height so I don't know how overweight you are but I assume you need to stick to this for several more months to get to your goal.
    Since weight loss is from a calorie deficit not type of food you don't have to give up all the food you like just eat smaller portions of higher calorie stuff. Bulking out those meals with low calorie vegetables can help the small portions not seem so sad. A lot of people here still eat at restaurants and such. You could look up old posts about eating out or ask how people handle it.
    Many people find getting enough protein, fat and fiber helps with satisfaction. If you are eating very low fat for example that might be something to change for better satisfaction.

  • LiLee2018
    LiLee2018 Posts: 1,331 Member
    Stop comparing your journey to hers. I know it's difficult, but you just can not do it. Even if she didn't have the surgery, even if she was eating exactly what you eat... if she was losing more weight quickly.. you'd still be bitter b/c you're comparing and again.. you can't. It's going to discourage you, it's going to make you want to give up and where is that going to put you? Back at your previous weight or more and miserable still. Is that what you want?
    Just stop!!! If you have to... ignore her posts. Keep scrolling by when she posts or ignore for 30days. Just keep doing your own thing. 5lbs in a month is still a loss and that's awesome.
  • SomeMorr
    SomeMorr Posts: 220 Member
    Your friend may be experiencing self confidence and freedom to do things she may have never been able to do before. Shopping in a "normal" store? Fitting in amusement park rides? Playing with her kids without getting winded? Her journey is purely about her and your journey is purely about you. It's not WRONG to say you are hurt by seeing her success and want to compare yourself, but it is impossible to compare natural vs surgical weight loss.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    How is WLS the “easy way “?
    There is no easy way and any surgery has risk. Everyone is different and no matter how you lose weight it is always about eating less calories than your body burns.
    Personally, I would never opt for surgery, the risk isn’t worth it.
    Jealousy about anything is a waste of effort. Be happy for your friend! Losing weight, and keeping it off, isn’t easy, no matter how you do it 💐
  • solieco1
    solieco1 Posts: 1,559 Member
    Not your circus; not your monkey. You just do you and do it well. Don't buy into the negative karma floating around and go take a good walk or run :)
    Hit the unfollow button on FB, then you won't see the updates without the drama of 'unfriending'.
    Yes, your feelings are totally natural but only you control how they affect you. Wallow a minute then move on and make your own path.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    edited September 2018
    I also want to add that wls does not always equal success. I know two people who have had the surgery, lost monkey tons of weight and regained lots of it. It all comes down to exercise and dietary compliance. Neither one could stick to a caloric reduced lifestyle. They found ways of eating around their surgery. Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member

    I know I sound horrible like I can't be happy for other people but I just am bitter....and hungry.

    Being hangry sucks.

    Nowhere in your post did you say that you wanted to do the same thing your friend did despite her weight loss. That's got to tell you something - on some level you know for you personally the drawbacks (far) outweigh the benefits.

    You're stressing about something you don't even want to do.