Why do people feel the need to be so RUDE?

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Replies

  • AdAstra47
    AdAstra47 Posts: 823 Member
    Right there with ya. Some people seem to think that the ability to be anonymous online gives them the right to be rude & obnoxious in ways that they never would in Real Life. Just remember, there are lots of people on here who *aren't* like that!

    If it helps at all, many of the rude people I have encountered are acting on a generous impulse. They have found what works for them, and they want to share that knowledge so that others can have the same success. Problem is, people are complex and people are different. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another. But people who think they have "THE ANSWER" forget that, and get really pushy about their particular worldview & philosophy. They may honestly think they are helping you, when what they're really doing is making you feel lousy about your choices or your inability to do things their way.

    Check out some of the "debates" between the Vegetarian / Vegan crowd and the Paleo / Primal crowd on here. Or, on second thought, if you're already depressed, don't! :wink: Both sides insist that they are right. And they're both correct. For SOME people. But some of the advocates refuse to believe that any other lifestyle besides the one they've chosen will work.

    So just take the advice & help that's offered, and forget the critics & close-minded, intolerant, negative people. Take a moment to feel sorry for them, then leave them behind.

    I hope you do find a group of supportive friends here. Include me if you like, I've fought depression before as well. Best of luck to you!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Honestly, when I read the OP of your other thread I thought "simple, put the alarm on the other side of the room and don't reset it. I wish I had time to get 6 hours of sleep much less 10 or 12, but my days are too full to lay around." Besides that, in your OP you yourself used the word "lazy" not "chronic depression." There is a difference, and you clarified that later, but no in the OP. Did you deserve rude responses, no, but at the same time I think that you are being a little sensitive too especially considering the lazy versus depression distiction is an important one in this case.

    To address that post, exercise and proper nutrition are important ways to combat depression and balance out the chemical make up in your brain. The exercise releases endorphins, which makes you happy. Proper nutrition helps your body work more efficiently. Everytime I think of my depression it reminds me of the line from one of the medication commercials "depression hurts" because it does, it makes your body hurt, it makes you exhausted, it makes it difficult to sleep, think, make good decisions. If you post on MFP "how do I sleep less" you're going to get responses like "just wake up." If you post "I am suffering from depression" chances are you're going to get responses like "talk to your doctor, find a therapist." My depression was cyclical, I was in therapy every 4 years from the time I was 8, I haven't been to or need a therapist in 8 years and I really credit my diet and activity levels with my happiness.
  • ShrinkingNinja
    ShrinkingNinja Posts: 460 Member
    If this is about the post about not being able to breathe properly I took most of the comments to be many out of concern because breathing is important.... Granted some of them lack tact, but they cared enough to want you to go to the hospital.
  • espinozAgal
    espinozAgal Posts: 160 Member
    I am also a pretty sensitive person who takes what people say to heart... so the solution is not to air very personnel issues on a message board. yes, we are here for encouragement and help for weight loss and fitness but we are all human and all so different so what may be appropriate to one person, may not be to another. Good luck on your struggles.
  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
    You can't carpet the world so just wear comfortable shoes....there are all kinds of people on this site. I would suggest that you just share those personal/serious issues with those people you have selected as friends rather than putting out a post to the masses because you NEVER know who will respond. Stay focused on your task, move past the people who you feel are rude and negative, and reach your goals....keep your sun shining, Honey.... :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    Because sometimes the right answer isn't coated in peaches and cream.

    There is a difference between giving someone positive criticism and being down-right nasty.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Haters gonna hate - it's true in life and it's true in the forums here. It's unfortunate, but you will have to find a way to ignore the asshats and focus on the comments that you get back that *are* positive and helpful. :smile:
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    Because sometimes the right answer isn't coated in peaches and cream.

    There is a difference between giving someone positive criticism and being down-right nasty.

    You can't control how people reply/post to your questions on the forums, the only thing you can control is YOUR reaction.

    Not only that, when you are reading a post on a forum, email, text message or IM, you cannot SEE emotion, many times there are misunderstandings because there is no emotion attached to an electronic message. Texting, forum postings and email are some of the WORST ways to communicate because you (or the other person you are TRYING to communicate) cannot convey (or see) emotion. Sure you can use the little smiley faces, but you still can't see the other person's body language, if they're making eye contact, if they're smiling/frowning/etc...
  • lind3400
    lind3400 Posts: 557 Member
    Welcome to the real world, it ain't perfect and you cant try to make it that way
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I found the post you're talking about and stuck up for ya. I don't suffer from depression personally, but my mother does and I know how hard it can be to fall asleep and have the energy to get up every morning. Some people just don't get it.

    I like how you stick up for her by being rude yourself isnt hypocrisy great
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    I would also like to point out that nobody was trolling. People responded to the other thread with the information they had at the time.
  • tammykoon
    tammykoon Posts: 298 Member
    If this is about the post about not being able to breathe properly I took most of the comments to be many out of concern because breathing is important.... Granted some of them lack tact, but they cared enough to want you to go to the hospital.

    She posted about sleeping too much.


    I know it may be hard to believe, but I think the first few comments were intending to motivate you. They probably felt they were giving you "tough love". Some people need a swift kick, but not everyone. Many times people respond they way that would work for themselves,"If being tough worked for me, I'll be tough on you." Then the post changed because they were in defense mode. Back an animal into a corner and see what happens. People will defend themselves, right or wrong. And of course you had the truly ignorant people who just want to tick people off because they are miserable and want everyone else to be miserable too.

    Here is the good news, a few of the original "offenders" actually apologized. Maybe not in the terms of "I'm sorry" but in their own way. They realized after you clarified your post that you have a serious issue.

    The bad news, some of the ignorant ones followed you here. REPORT them, ignore them, and follow the positive! :flowerforyou:
  • I've noticed that too and I'm sorry they did that to you.

    You are a wonderful and sweet person. I am honored to have you as my friend on here. Don't let these soap box standers ruin your day. *hugs* People don't seem to realize when they shouldn't just spout out whatever pops into their heads without considering how someone might hear those things.
  • tigersmoondiva
    tigersmoondiva Posts: 93 Member
    Strangely I commented on just this subject a few days ago - when group of people felt it was "OK" to insult people who had spelling issues.

    Smile - and don't worry about what they say. People with self image problems tend to lash out at times.

    I will say I have had the sleep issue for decades - mine is compounded by a bad thyroid. As silly as it sound - I try to make sure I have something to look forward to now. Remember how easy it was to wake up on Christmas morning when you were a little kid?
  • kayler00
    kayler00 Posts: 35 Member
    You're going to get all sorts of different answers from people all over the world when you post a thread. Either take what they as it comes and try to learn from it - or move on. Some people on here will coddle you, and other's will not. I was on your friends list for awhile and have noticed that you post A LOT of threads in the forums, and then complain when someone gives you an answer that you don't like to hear. While I think this place is about motivation and supporting someone, at the same time - you ask for it everytime you post something on here. After multiple people have told you to get off the forums for awhile. I think you post threads to read what you want to hear and when someone is real with you ; you get angry - and that's not good for you at all. Take what people say into consideration and try to change.

    You keep going back - it's like sticking your finger in a electrical socket... For your own sanity take a break from the forums!
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
    I've run into these people as well. They tell my my eating habits, (i always end up about 3-400 cals short on my cal goal) are bad examples for my daughter. they had no right to bring her into my question. then they said i was a bad parent cause of it. cause of not being hungry. then, just a few days ago, i answered a topic of what we think of fidelity. should man and wife stay till death, or should they be able to have other partners? i answered i married for life. if your not willing to make that commitment, maybe you should stay single. the poster and her friends, one of them posted on page one of this topic, started attacking me, saying i was judgemental, and i have no right to speak in that tone of voice (while others are calling her a cheating douche bag) and she said, poster, that she was having fun rattling my cage, that im an easy target.


    there are sadly trolls on here, but the good people far exceed the bad. for every 20 good, theres usually 1 bad.

    I'm sorry for the rough time you're having. I don't know what it is, so I don't know what to say other than I hope you feel better and I hope that life offers nothing but greatness for you.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I posted this on the other thread, before it got locked...

    Some people have thick skin; some people have thin skin; some people are in-between.
    What sounds rude to one person may sound perfectly reasonable and logical to another.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    People like to use the "Well you gotta have a thick skin" or the "You can't control what people say but only how you react" bull**** as an excuse to be nasty without taking responsibility for what they say, IMO.

    There's being truthful and informative and then there is just being nasty and cruel. There's a big difference.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Please don't let a few jerks ruin the site for you. Most people here really are supportive!
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    I found the post you're talking about and stuck up for ya. I don't suffer from depression personally, but my mother does and I know how hard it can be to fall asleep and have the energy to get up every morning. Some people just don't get it.

    I like how you stick up for her by being rude yourself isnt hypocrisy great

    You get what you deserve. I'm sure you'd know that, right?
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    OMG ((HUGS))
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    I'm sorry you had people be rude to you. :( I have found that the majority of my support comes from my friend's list on my wall. They are encouraging, funny, lovely people who will give me a kick in the pants if I need it (but never unsolicited or rudely!) and are always there to support me and just listen to me if I need it. The forums are ok but my real support is the friend's list I'm building. I've always added with the thought that if I get someone rude I'll simply delete them but so far I've only gotten fabulous people and haven't deleted anyone. I wish you all the best and try to ignore the rude ones. Sometimes I don't even think they're meaning to be rude, they're just blunt or lack social graces. ;) (Though I don't know the particulars of your post so I'm just saying. ) :)
  • chynafox
    chynafox Posts: 30
    Unfortunately, this site is not totally full of hopeful positive people. I read your thread and was disgusted. It was something akin to telling someone with anorexia to simply "start eating". Some of those people put you down, to make themselves feel better.

    I know it's hard, but you have to learn how to feel some confidence within yourself. Asking for help or asking a question is the absolute right thing to do on this site. You have to make sure that you understand that and don't stop doing that. We were all supposed to join for unity and support. And that the fact that you joined this site, ask questions, and try to be a part of the community SHOWS that you aren't friggin lazy and that you ARE motivated. Sod off to the rest of those people who weren't helping at all.
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