Rant alert, I really need to vent!
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@countcurt 's point is valid. OP's hubby wouldn't be the first spouse to try to sabotage their partener's weight loss.TavistockToad wrote: »Boys are stupid... :laugh:
And clueless. I'd say mainly clueless
Actually, I think it's quite possible the boy isn't stupid but, rather, extremely passive aggressive. If he knows you're so focused on your weight and that doughnuts would present a significant challenge and he's going to pout if you don't eat your fair share, why is he doing this?
Of course, I'm sure there are couples where that is true. I'm assuming a mainly functional relationship here. My own husband is very thoughtful, but even he misses the mark sometimes. It doesn't mean he has ulterior motives.
Some boys are passive-aggressive. Lots of boys are stupid. The people most likely to be able to figure out figure out which one OP's hubby was being are OP, Hubby, and any marriage counselor they might happen to be employing.
In Hubby's putative defense, there's a quote from some old Roman senator that goes something like:
Some day, I'm going to cross-stitch that on a pillow."Never mistake for malice that which is just as easily attributable to incompetence."
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There is magic in throwing food away when the giver isn't looking. It is easier than "talking about it. " Don't try to figure it out.
...and.. If a week beore your trip.. your dresses are tight. Buy youself a few that fit easily. You've worked hard and a 50 plus loss is MAJOR... you should feel great and enjoy that trip looking great and feeling good in your clothes.5 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Boys are stupid... :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
And clueless. I'd say mainly clueless
Yep!
Every time I'm doing well and sticking to my diet my husband comes home with a 'present' for me of a box of chocolates or something like that. Annoys the crap out of me because I'm not one of those people that can eat ONE chocolate. Especially if it's Ferrero Rocher. I eat THE ENTIRE BOX.4 -
Ooh congratulations on your weight loss, and happy 50th. What a great trip you have planned.
I don't know if you have done many long haul flights, or stayed at an AI in a hot climate. So I just wanted to warn you about water retention.
Long flights can have many people retain extra water, as can heat, as can food with a higher salt level than you are use to at home.
I know you have some clothes that are still a little snug. You may be best wearing them towards the beginning of your trip, and having a couple of more floaty numbers for the latter half.
Just as I was reaching my goal weight we flew from Canada to London then Rome for a 10day Med cruise.
I had lovely new dresses and shoes- had to abandon them by the half way mark and wear sandals and get a couple of loose fitting dresses in Greece (not really a hardship). I managed almost an 10lbs gain, sob.
My weight returned to just a couple of pounds of my pre-cruise weight within a week, so nothing to worry about, just thought I would give you the heads up that this could happen.
Drink enough water, and take some electrolytes with you in case you sweat a lot. If your feet swell wrap a cool, wet towel around them, and lie with your legs up a wall, or the backrest of a lounger for 15+ min.
Glad you ranted here instead of at hubby.
Cheers, h.3 -
@middlehaitch and @elisa123gal thank you, I am conscious of the potential water gain so packing plenty of fitting/loose clothes just in case, the ones that are a little tight I'm going to review before packing won't take them if I'm not happy with them.
@countcurt naaa he's a loveable idiot, we'd had a few cross words and he knows I like the donuts (which weren't ALL for me) so was just trying to be nice. He does forget about the "diet" because I eat everything the family eats but in moderation so it's not really obvious and there's no fuss.
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Here's an update: karma kicked in last night, the box was left on the table and the cat sat on it. And then chucked up a hairball all over the box.
So now hubby is kicking the cat around the kitchen and I'm secretly feeding him treats 11 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »Here's an update: karma kicked in last night, the box was left on the table and the cat sat on it. And then chucked up a hairball all over the box.
So now hubby is kicking the cat around the kitchen and I'm secretly feeding him treats
your cat is obviously on MPF and has read this thread.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:9 -
Some cats only just alert families to fires or protect babies from rattlesnakes - phooey on them. Your cat's what I call a true dyed-in-the-hairball hero!Jackie9003 wrote: »Here's an update: karma kicked in last night, the box was left on the table and the cat sat on it. And then chucked up a hairball all over the box.
So now hubby is kicking the cat around the kitchen and I'm secretly feeding him treats
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That's my boy! (all the stuff on the floor was piled up neatly where he is sat ) 8 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »
That's my boy! (all the stuff on the floor was piled up neatly where he is sat )
Beautiful boy!!! I hope hubby really wasn't kicking him around the kitchen.1 -
@SaraKim17 no don't worry it's just a figure of speech, he did swear a lot though 3
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It's the thought that counts I guess. If my wife took offence at all the well meaning, but on reflection utterly clueless, presents I had given over the years I would have made an appearance on Judge Judy years ago!
Is there a reason that you can't simply say thanks to your OH for thinking about you but the goodies don't align with your goals so could you take them into work to share or something like that?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Boys are stupid... :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
And clueless. I'd say mainly clueless
I'd say oblivious.
Otoh was that your coping mechanism before OP? With all the frustration you wouldn't have eaten extra doughnuts? (still oblivious though since you've been on this path for two years)0 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
In Hubby's putative defense, there's a quote from some old Roman senator that goes something like:
Some day, I'm going to cross-stitch that on a pillow."Never mistake for malice that which is just as easily attributable to incompetence."
That would make a great malicious gift for a co-worker or a boss1 -
people in my office are feeders! they bring in cakes, sweets, biscuits....you name it...it makes me want to cry as i get so frustrated then they are like "c'mon have one!" the pressure. and If i have to have something i end up shoving 80% of it in the bin which then makes me feel like i have some sort of disorder.2
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TavistockToad wrote: »Boys are stupid... :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
And clueless. I'd say mainly clueless
I'd say oblivious.
Otoh was that your coping mechanism before OP? With all the frustration you wouldn't have eaten extra doughnuts? (still oblivious though since you've been on this path for two years)
2 years ago I would have eaten my fair share, any other time I would have had one quite happily and factor it in during the course of the week, just right now with my 4 week deadline I'm trying to be really careful and after declining to go out for lunch I was so annoyed that he'd brought donuts - our conversation had obviously gone in 1 ear and out the other.
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Pardyqueenxoxo wrote: »people in my office are feeders! they bring in cakes, sweets, biscuits....you name it...it makes me want to cry as i get so frustrated then they are like "c'mon have one!" the pressure. and If i have to have something i end up shoving 80% of it in the bin which then makes me feel like i have some sort of disorder.
Ah that's not fair, I "take mine home for later" it appeases them a little1 -
A person who thinks that others are required to eat something just because they shove it in their faces is the one with a problem, and I wouldn't feel a moment of guilt about refusing. My wife knows that I eat according to a set amount of calories and macros every day, and if she brings something home that doesn't fit, I'm not eating it.
Stuffing yourself with food you don't want in order to appease someone and/or feeling guilty over wasted food is allowing others to manipulate you - food is fuel and not a social or emotional crutch.1 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »@SaraKim17 no don't worry it's just a figure of speech, he did swear a lot though
Thanks for reassuring me!
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Jackie9003 wrote: »TheSneakyCheese wrote: »Eat one and dump the rest.
I thought about sharing them out at work, can't waste good food.
You'll make points with your co-workers for sure and not consume needless calories yourself - win win, I'd say. As for your husband, I'd call him a thoughful idiot. Boys! Meaning well and than hitting so far off the mark
I posted that before reading through the whole thread! Your cat is a keeper. Also, he's stunning!0 -
jdubois5351 wrote: »Jackie9003 wrote: »TheSneakyCheese wrote: »Eat one and dump the rest.
I thought about sharing them out at work, can't waste good food.
You'll make points with your co-workers for sure and not consume needless calories yourself - win win, I'd say. As for your husband, I'd call him a thoughful idiot. Boys! Meaning well and than hitting so far off the mark
I posted that before reading through the whole thread! Your cat is a keeper. Also, he's stunning!
He pays more attention than my husband, that's for sure 4
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