Gym Protocol
Replies
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back to the original convo... if it bothers you that someone jumped on the machine right next to you in an otherwise uncrowded area... smile at them as you get off your machine and move to another one. Easy Peasy. If they were trying to flirt, you've just let them know, nicely, that you're not interested. If they wanted motivation, you've let them know, nicely, that you're not it. And the smile? That lets them know that you're not being a beotch, you just want your own space.
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"Reach out of the Darkness". We have now gotten to the point where we can no longer stand someone being on the next treadmill. Does a little friendliness hurt that much? Then again, A rock feels no pain and an Island never cries. No you don't have to friendly to everyone. Imagine if we all were. Good day all18
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#1. What are you doing on a treadmill that you cannot do outside.
Because I'm not going to die of heatstroke by running in 90+ degrees with 90+ humidity, and I find it downright miserable to run in rain.
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"Reach out of the Darkness". We have now gotten to the point where we can no longer stand someone being on the next treadmill. Does a little friendliness hurt that much? Then again, A rock feels no pain and an Island never cries. No you don't have to friendly to everyone. Imagine if we all were. Good day all
in the midst of depression and anxiety, it can hurt "that much."
it can be terrifying and insurmountable.14 -
in the midst of depression and anxiety, it can hurt "that much."
it can be terrifying and insurmountable.
I am truly sorry for you.-1 -
MoveitlikeManda wrote: »tbh pushing myself to go to the gym everytime was a massive battle enough without having to deal with people who might want to talk to me as well
From one introvert to another, I completely understand :flowerforyou:9 -
I am truly sorry for you.
Do you now get why not everyone wants to be friendly in the gym, that not everyone wants to engage and that this isn't going to lead to the end of civilization as we know it?14 -
Seems like the "problem" is all yours.
"1)I'm a geeky introvert. (I'm an engineer.) I despise anyone trying to talk to me at the gym." More antisocial than anything else.
I'll offer a few observations on this, you've already had a number of responses regarding depression and anxiety, so no need to elaborate on that further. Introverts do get described as antisocial, and it's generally a fairly pejorative use; exactly as you've used it here. If you think about how extraversion and introversion are commonly described, is in terms of source of energy. So an introvert can see someone wanting to engage with them as a source of fatigue.
If someone had been engaging with people all day at work, being approached by an energy vampire during their opportunity to recharge is intrusive.
You can then think about personal space, that's very much a societal thing. Given the choice of the entire space I'd question the need to get right up in my grid, so to speak. I do recognise some people's need for regularity, but equally is not a conversation to have. That said, my personal space is a couple of miles in diameter, but for many people I can understand why it would feel uncomfortable.
I'd also note that those with an autism spectrum condition may feel uncomfortable interacting in that way, particularly if unknown. For an aspie focused on training, again extremely intrusive.
The antisocial epithet is something that many with ASC would be used to hearing from neurotypicals as well.18 -
Same here.1 -
annaskiski wrote: »
It annoyed me because:
1) I'm a geeky introvert. (I'm an engineer.) I despise anyone trying to talk to me at the gym.
2) Before starting her treadmill, she took some time bending over pretending to do something with her shoes, but I could feel her eyes on me looking me over.
3) She looked my controls over after starting her machine.
1) i don't want to talk to others at the gym either, and i accomplish that by not making eye contact. (if I were an introverted geeky engineer, i' don't know how anyone would know that by looking at me, unless I wore a large label to that effect).
1a) exception to eye contact is for loud conversationalists. I will wave to catch their eye, put my fingers to my lips, point at them, and then point to my headphones - all to communicate (usually effectively) that I can't hear my headphones because they're talking too loudly. I never actually have to open my mouth.
2) + 3) It's beyond my imagination to think what possible risk any of this behavior poses. RISK , as in , something that will cause damage.
You could choose to move to another machine, is the other option I can think of.
hope you find a solution,.1 -
So, I've been thinking about this question. I'm an introvert by nature but I will also probably pick the machine next to the only person in the room rather than the opposite side of the room. At the very least, I'd chose one near to the only person in the room. I'm not sure why actually. Maybe there's still a pack mentality deep down in my psyche... I dunno.0
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tbright1965 wrote: »
No one is claiming that this was the end of the world. (YOU are the one trying to make a big deal out of my question)
I just found it annoying, and wondered if I was an oddball.
Apparently not, as many agree that this is annoying.6 -
annaskiski wrote: »
No one is claiming that this was the end of the world. (YOU are the one trying to make a big deal out of my question)
I just found it annoying, and wondered if I was an oddball.
Apparently not, as many agree that this is annoying.
Or I was trying to be funny. Why do you assume I was making a big deal of it when I post a meme? That's about as far away from a big deal as the east is from the west.2 -
MoveitlikeManda wrote: »thanks to the people who gave me hug, and sent out a couple of woo's.
depression and anxiety can not be solved by being friendly to stragers, infact it makes it a whole lot worse.
its nice to know someone understand a little xx
We live in a place and period of time where introverts are generally looked down at. But there have been other times/places where introverts were valued and probably will be again. Don't let it get to you. There are lots of us, we just don't realize it because we are all either avoiding each other or pretending to be extroverted in public so we don't get made fun of
If you're a reader, check out Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.
I have no problem smiling as I walk by someone or chatting with the cashier at the grocery. But yeah, it would make me uncomfortable if someone took the machine right next to me. Even with the possibility of their being a good reason! It's just my preference, and I'm allowed to have it, just like this other person is allowed to take the machine if they want. My POV is, why should we have to deal with each others noises, smells, etc if we don't have to? It's up to me what I do in reaction to it. The OP didn't seem to really have anything to do with "rights" or suggest it is the worst thing ever, just that it bothered them and wondered if it would've bothered others <shrug>8 -
We live in a place and period of time where introverts are generally looked down at. But there have been other times/places where introverts were valued and probably will be again. Don't let it get to you. There are lots of us, we just don't realize it because we are all either avoiding each other or pretending to be extroverted in public so we don't get made fun of
If you're a reader, check out Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.
I have no problem smiling as I walk by someone or chatting with the cashier at the grocery. But yeah, it would make me uncomfortable if someone took the machine right next to me. Even with the possibility of their being a good reason! It's just my preference, and I'm allowed to have it, just like this other person is allowed to take the machine if they want. My POV is, why should we have to deal with each others noises, smells, etc if we don't have to? It's up to me what I do in reaction to it. The OP didn't seem to really have anything to do with "rights" or suggest it is the worst thing ever, just that it bothered them and wondered if it would've bothered others <shrug>
FWIW, I'm a situational extrovert. (Edited to change that, I totally messed that up.)
Say what?
Years ago, when I was in the Army, I was given the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. We took it while I was at Ft Gordon for Signal Officer Advanced training. I was an ESTJ with what I called a "flaming E" for full on extrovert.
They gave us a second copy of the test with different, but just as effective questions and told us to go home, take off the uniform and take the test. I did.
We got the results back after a few days and as I said, the in-class test was full on E. The at home test also came out ESTJ, but I was just barely an extrovert during the test taken at home.
Bottom line, I'm sure we all vary in our personalities based on the situation. I might be a full on E in a group, and anyone who has taken a group exercise class with me may have experienced it. But in private, I'm comfortable in my own skin, being alone.
I can imagine the opposite being the case. In public, someone who is an introvert may be even more introverted than they are at home, more relaxed.
FWIW2 -
Don't get me wrong, I know heavy footfalls aren't something that are easy to control, not faulting anyone for that. You've got to run with the right form and cadence for you. I just had to move, though.
TBH, I'm probably the person you had to get away from - my feet slap down pretty heavy and I know I make a lot of noise. Frankly, I just had to get over being self-conscious about it - I run how I run. I've seen other posts where people complain about people running too loudly on the treadmill and when I just started I thought I was being rude (even stopped running a couple of times when someone next to me was running faster so I wouldn't disturb them), but I've realized that there's no actual protocol for how loud you're allowed to be on the treadmill
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tbright1965 wrote: »
Years ago, when I was in the Army, I was given the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. We took it while I was at Ft Gordon for Signal Officer Advanced training. I was an ESTJ with what I called a "flaming E" for full on extrovert.
They gave us a second copy of the test with different, but just as effective questions and told us to go home, take off the uniform and take the test. I did.
We got the results back after a few days and as I said, the in-class test was full on E. The at home test also came out ESTJ, but I was just barely an extrovert during the test taken at home.
Bottom line, I'm sure we all vary in our personalities based on the situation. I might be a full on E in a group, and anyone who has taken a group exercise class with me may have experienced it. But in private, I'm comfortable in my own skin, being alone.
I can imagine the opposite being the case. In public, someone who is an introvert may be even more introverted than they are at home, more relaxed.
FWIW
Not to derail the conversation, but you do know that Myers-Briggs is a load of *kitten* right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQqSnkI32A 1 -
I believe it was the National Academy of Sciences that found that only the E-I results of these tests had high correlation with other tests.
I certainly wouldn't expect someone to choose a career based on the results of a test. However, I found it interesting that I was more of an E in a group setting, and closer to the middle when taking the test at home, in my fuzzy bunny slippers instead of combat boots.FireOpalCO wrote: »
Not to derail the conversation, but you do know that Myers-Briggs is a load of *kitten* right?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQqSnkI32A
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FireOpalCO wrote: »
Not to derail the conversation, but you do know that Myers-Briggs is a load of *kitten* right?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NQqSnkI32A
Whilst I'd agree that the MBTI is probably the weakest personality instrument available, these tools have their use. Later instruments are based in sounder science, although with all of them their generalisation isn't helpful.
The value of any of these instruments is the discussion around it. Even as simple as described above, there's a discussion around what factors contribute to the difference in scoring.0 -
Don't get me wrong, I know heavy footfalls aren't something that are easy to control, not faulting anyone for that. You've got to run with the right form and cadence for you. I just had to move, though.
Yeah, I do get that people can be distracting even when they're just carrying on as usual 0 -
PressingPatience wrote: »So, I've been thinking about this question. I'm an introvert by nature but I will also probably pick the machine next to the only person in the room rather than the opposite side of the room. At the very least, I'd chose one near to the only person in the room. I'm not sure why actually. Maybe there's still a pack mentality deep down in my psyche... I dunno.
I think a lot of people do have that mentality. I'm kind of the opposite, but I've noticed some people just seem to like being close to other people, even strangers. Even in odd situations. Like, there are five stalls in the ladies room at my office. I have observed there is about a 90% chance that the person who comes in after me will pick a stall right next to mine. This happens consistently, regardless of which stall I choose. I don't know if it's a safety in numbers instinct or what.0 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »Treat the treadmills like frikken urinals people....
Seems to bear repeating at this point.
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Tacklewasher wrote: »
Seems to bear repeating at this point.
And for those of us not up on our urinal etiquette? Pretty sure you're not supposed to stare...
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And for those of us not up on our urinal etiquette? Pretty sure you're not supposed to stare...
If I jump in here, @tacklewasher's gonna call me a guy somehow, right? :laugh:4 -
Mouse_Potato wrote: »
I think a lot of people do have that mentality. I'm kind of the opposite, but I've noticed some people just seem to like being close to other people, even strangers. Even in odd situations. Like, there are five stalls in the ladies room at my office. I have observed there is about a 90% chance that the person who comes in after me will pick a stall right next to mine. This happens consistently, regardless of which stall I choose. I don't know if it's a safety in numbers instinct or what.
That's kind of what I was thinking, a subconscious "safety in numbers" thing. What there is to be afraid of in a public place like a gym? I dunno, but yeah. It's kind of like that.0 -
I am not at the gym for a social experience, and I'm going out of my way to establish NO EYE CONTACT so that no one mistakes my presence as wanting more than what I'm obviously doing.
I don't want to talk; I want to do my workout and go home, tyvm.
I DO look at the bodies of the people who work out at my gym. Pretty much I focus on what the arms and legs are doing.
I'm watching form (or lack of), effort, consistency, and if they use the provided wipes when done with the equipment.
I am NOT doing a long penetrating kind of staring thing, not at all, it's a casual looking around that is meant to convey nothing but casual interest if someone sees me doing it.
It's motivating to see fit bodies - it's my eyeball candy, if you will!
I will sometimes take a brief glance at an adjacent cardio-equip user's info panel because I'm curious about the pace they are working at.
Perhaps the OP and others similarly affected by nearby users could benefit with headsets and an audio book to keep their attention close at hand and less distracted by others.3 -
Mouse_Potato wrote: »
I think a lot of people do have that mentality. I'm kind of the opposite, but I've noticed some people just seem to like being close to other people, even strangers. Even in odd situations. Like, there are five stalls in the ladies room at my office. I have observed there is about a 90% chance that the person who comes in after me will pick a stall right next to mine. This happens consistently, regardless of which stall I choose. I don't know if it's a safety in numbers instinct or what.
Well, I'm pretty sure every girl out there at some point has either said "um, do you have toilet paper" or "damn it, do you have a tampon" to the next stall. Maybe it affects our future behavior.3 -
Totally uncool.
I work out a home but when I travel for work I use hotel gyms. I always take the wall machine. Sometimes someone breaks urinal code and gets the one next to me. I’m sure they quickly regret it with my huffing, puffing and noises trying to get through intervals 0 -
And for those of us not up on our urinal etiquette? Pretty sure you're not supposed to stare...
https://brocode.org/a-quick-guide-to-urinal-etiquette/
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