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We broke up because...
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She kept trying to blindfold me0
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there weren't enough covers for both of us0
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She said she was undercover; I thought she meant she was a cop.0
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guys was always in trouble with the law0
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She refused to stop wearing her sheriffs badge and made me call her officer.
ETA: Or is that why we stayed together?
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Cuz I got scared of how much time they spent on the phone0
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She took my lipsticks on safari and didn't replace them0
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She stole my pjs0
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She was team Santa, but I was Team Krampus.0
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Maintains to be a naughty boy, but only purrs like a fluffy tomcat0
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Kept coughing up fur balls!
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Only opposites attract and we were the same gender...0
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He was too cool for school and for some reason his nickname for me was school0
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She wouldn't take her hat off during sex😏😉0
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Of my low Yelp ratings...1
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He kept asking me to rate him0
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She was a 9 and I was a 6. Apparently and according to her, these numbers don’t mix - I disagreed...0
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If I'm gonna date a dude, he'd have to be higher than a 6.0
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He was dating a dude0
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She was too closed-minded0
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He wouldn't share his goodies0
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We disagreed on the definition of 'goodies.'1
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he was a rodeo clown0
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She wouldn't stop honking my nose.
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that wasn't his nose0
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He had trouble finding critical body parts0
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She had a surplus of body parts in her closet.0
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He kept saying "I'd give an arm and a leg if only you'd stay with me!"0
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She said the movie Misery was how she wanted to model our relationship0
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He took away my ax0
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