Would you ever consider dating a married man/woman?

julieweledniger wrote: »

What are your thoughts on this subject and does it make a difference if they’re separated from their spouse/partner?

No. Not a married person. Marriage is intended to be to the exclusion of all others.

A separated person is on the way out of their previous marriage, so technically available for a new relationship.

Definitely not. That's a lot to get in the middle of. I wouldn't want someone doing that to me so I'm not gonna do that to someone else.

julieweledniger wrote: »

What are your thoughts on this subject and does it make a difference if they’re separated from their spouse/partner?

so, who is he ?

Nope. Not even if they were separated and in the divorce process. Too soon for my liking. I'm also a huge stickler/jerk about stuff like this, honestly. My friend was with a guy for 5 years while still technically married to her ex husband just because neither of them (friend or her ex) wanted to put the money and effort into actually divorcing. That wouldn't work for me. I'm married anyway (second for me, first for my husband) but still.

seltzermint555 wrote: »

Nope. Not even if they were separated and in the divorce process. Too soon for my liking. I'm also a huge stickler/jerk about stuff like this, honestly. My friend was with a guy for 5 years while still technically married to her ex husband just because neither of them (friend or her ex) wanted to put the money and effort into actually divorcing. That wouldn't work for me. I'm married anyway (second for me, first for my husband) but still.

Yeah that happens a lot. I had separated (not legally) from my husband probably 3 times over our 16-year marriage before the last time when we actually got divorced. But once they file, you know it's for real because that alone is a pain in the butt.

whatalazyidiot wrote: »

seltzermint555 wrote: »

Nope. Not even if they were separated and in the divorce process. Too soon for my liking. I'm also a huge stickler/jerk about stuff like this, honestly. My friend was with a guy for 5 years while still technically married to her ex husband just because neither of them (friend or her ex) wanted to put the money and effort into actually divorcing. That wouldn't work for me. I'm married anyway (second for me, first for my husband) but still.

Yeah that happens a lot. I had separated (not legally) from my husband probably 3 times over our 16-year marriage before the last time when we actually got divorced. But once they file, you know it's for real because that alone is a pain in the butt.

In my state, there's not recognized "legal separation" so that may also color my view? I dunno.

I also realize divorce is about a million times much more complicated (and expensive) when children are involved.

When my ex husband and I divorced (no kids), it was relatively inexpensive, quick & easy, even with real estate and stuff to split up after a nine year marriage. It was about eight weeks total - from decision to divorce to completely finished, house and land sold, done! haha I know that isn't the norm.

I will highlight the different circumstances that determine whether this is a "yes" or a "no."

1. They are in a relationship with their husband/wife, and the husband/wife is unaware of this new relationship, aka, obviously cheating:
- Absolutely not.

2. They are no longer together, but haven't divorced officially:
- Sure, but only if this is definitely what has happened (and the person in question is not lying about it, aka, using it as a cover to cheat.), The two have to be definitely broken up, with no desire to get back together. There has to be trust between all three people. I would prefer to meet the ex and make sure they are okay with it before making the relationship official. (I feel like it is courtesy to do so, given that they are still technically married.)

3. The married couple are together and open to a polyamorous relationship.
- This is tricky, as it'd have to be very specific for me to be okay with it. I would want to be in a relationship with both of them, not only one of them. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to engage in a relationship with people who are specifically looking for a romantic partner, but rather a couple who maybe I am already friends with, and then one fun night they invite me to their bed as a spur of the moment thing, but then it happens a few more times and slowly they realize they want me as a permanent part of their relationship, and I want it as well.
The basic conclusion is that I would want both of them to be happy and fulfilled by each other, not needing a third, but perhaps this third relationship could develop without it being the original intention. I might have been reading too many romance novels. Scratch that, I definitely have.

seltzermint555 wrote: »

whatalazyidiot wrote: »

seltzermint555 wrote: »

Nope. Not even if they were separated and in the divorce process. Too soon for my liking. I'm also a huge stickler/jerk about stuff like this, honestly. My friend was with a guy for 5 years while still technically married to her ex husband just because neither of them (friend or her ex) wanted to put the money and effort into actually divorcing. That wouldn't work for me. I'm married anyway (second for me, first for my husband) but still.

Yeah that happens a lot. I had separated (not legally) from my husband probably 3 times over our 16-year marriage before the last time when we actually got divorced. But once they file, you know it's for real because that alone is a pain in the butt.

In my state, there's not recognized "legal separation" so that may also color my view? I dunno.

I also realize divorce is about a million times much more complicated (and expensive) when children are involved.

When my ex husband and I divorced (no kids), it was relatively inexpensive, quick & easy, even with real estate and stuff to split up after a nine year marriage. It was about eight weeks total - from decision to divorce to completely finished, house and land sold, done! haha I know that isn't the norm.

We didn't have kids either. The filing itself wasn't difficult, but in California, there is a 6-12 month wait minimum because they are so backlogged with divorces here lol.