Someone said I am "pushing myself" and I find that sad
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Even if your friend is myopically considering a normal level of athletic activity as "pushing oneself", and even if this is a symptom of a greater societal malaise, I don't understand being irritated, dramatic (your words, BTW) and as if it was a personal attack.
I'd be more likely to feel sad for the less-healthy friend, and maybe a little helpless about how to help them understand that their own behavior/lifestyle seems more destructive/dangerous to you than does anything you're doing.
Some introspection might be useful, about why you're feeling so strongly about the way a less-healthy friend chose to interpret and express concern about your health problem.
For myself, I think strong emotions usually tell me more about myself, than about the immediate triggering incident, or about society at large . . . especially if the triggering incidents are relatively small things.
Just my experience, though.13 -
I get your point and your frustration. we are not ganging up on you. The fact is you work to be fit and lead a disciplined life. You'd like to be respected for that. And here.. this unfit friend basically tells you that he sees you as a guy who is "pushing it" ..so much that you have vertigo.
Instead of you being an example to him......he actually thinks you are being unhealthy.
It is funny if you really want to think on it. Hang with some fit friends who don't see you as a freak.
I think your friend was just trying to help, as irritating it is...
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elisa123gal wrote: »I get your point and your frustration. we are not ganging up on you. The fact is you work to be fit and lead a disciplined life. You'd like to be respected for that. And here.. this unfit friend basically tells you that he sees you as a guy who is "pushing it" ..so much that you have vertigo.
Instead of you being an example to him......he actually thinks you are being unhealthy.
It is funny if you really want to think on it. Hang with some fit friends who don't see you as a freak.
I think your friend was just trying to help, as irritating it is...
Insightful actually.
I think I took more offense to the fact that he thought this was pushing myself than anything. I spent 7 years in the military. Infantry too, not some desk job. He knows this, and it almost felt like he had no respect or idea what that day to day life was like. What I'm doing now? This is cake. Its not 2 a days, I get better food of my choosing, I get more sleep, I don't have to run on caffeine, nocotine, and hate. My workouts are mine and programmed well, I don't have to worry about training legs and then getting a text at 10pm that I'm doing a 10 mile ruck with 60lbs st 6am.12 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »I get your point and your frustration. we are not ganging up on you. The fact is you work to be fit and lead a disciplined life. You'd like to be respected for that. And here.. this unfit friend basically tells you that he sees you as a guy who is "pushing it" ..so much that you have vertigo.
Instead of you being an example to him......he actually thinks you are being unhealthy.
It is funny if you really want to think on it. Hang with some fit friends who don't see you as a freak.
I think your friend was just trying to help, as irritating it is...
Insightful actually.
I think I took more offense to the fact that he thought this was pushing myself than anything. I spent 7 years in the military. Infantry too, not some desk job. He knows this, and it almost felt like he had no respect or idea what that day to day life was like. What I'm doing now? This is cake. Its not 2 a days, I get better food of my choosing, I get more sleep, I don't have to run on caffeine, nocotine, and hate. My workouts are mine and programmed well, I don't have to worry about training legs and then getting a text at 10pm that I'm doing a 10 mile ruck with 60lbs st 6am.
He was showing concern for your current situation not giving a treatise on how you've spent your life. Honesty, this sounds more like insecurity on your part when it should be appreciation for a caring friend (even if his concerns are misplaced).26 -
It sounds to me like your friend knows you well and how you are, and wants to make sure you are you aren't overdoing it. I don't think it has anything to do with a definition of pushing oneself, but based on your past and determined nature. When someone says to me "Stef, don't overdo it" I don't take it as they don't know what overdoing is, but that I tend to push it to the limit and to be careful. That's all.12
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You mentioned vertigo. This can be a symptom of an inner ear infection not related to your physical ability. Taken to an extreme it could be a symptom of Meniere which has more symptoms with it. If you were to have an inner ear infection it could account for your thinking you have been sharp with in a way you would otherwise have not been. Please take care of yourself.2
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I hope you have a spotter for your lifting sessions if you're suffering from vertigo.7
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youcantflexcardio wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »I get your point and your frustration. we are not ganging up on you. The fact is you work to be fit and lead a disciplined life. You'd like to be respected for that. And here.. this unfit friend basically tells you that he sees you as a guy who is "pushing it" ..so much that you have vertigo.
Instead of you being an example to him......he actually thinks you are being unhealthy.
It is funny if you really want to think on it. Hang with some fit friends who don't see you as a freak.
I think your friend was just trying to help, as irritating it is...
Insightful actually.
I think I took more offense to the fact that he thought this was pushing myself than anything. I spent 7 years in the military. Infantry too, not some desk job. He knows this, and it almost felt like he had no respect or idea what that day to day life was like. What I'm doing now? This is cake. Its not 2 a days, I get better food of my choosing, I get more sleep, I don't have to run on caffeine, nocotine, and hate. My workouts are mine and programmed well, I don't have to worry about training legs and then getting a text at 10pm that I'm doing a 10 mile ruck with 60lbs st 6am.
I think you need to do yourself a favor and realize a number of things. Your friend was trying to show concern for you and you were being too stubborn and full of pride to realize it. You likely don't have the physical ability now to do what you were doing in the military, and why in the world would you?! You're older now than you were then, you have vertigo (which obviously isn't some sort of death sentence but does play a role in your physical wellness), you're in school full time (which takes a lot of physical time and mental energy), and so on.
Whether you like it or not, working out seven days a week (an hour everyday is what you mentioned in your first post) is a lot. It might be sustainable for you, but that doesn't somehow minimize how much you're doing. Whether you want to admit it not, people can still be healthy without seven hours of exercise a week - they can, in fact, be pushing themselves with under seven hours of exercise a week.10 -
Pushing yourself is relative to where you are at the moment. What might have been easy for someone at one time could push them to the brink at another point in life, the fact of what you did in the past is not your baseline forever.
However, I doubt that pushing yourself too much leads to vertigo.3 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »This is really just a rant, but something I wanted to discuss too.
I was talking to a friend about a health issue I've been experiencing (vertigo, I made a thread on it...that's not what this is about though) and he said "may be you're pushing yourself too hard"
Holy *kitten* did I get fired up. Offended almost, and not a lot offends me. Without even really thinking I shot back with "Pushing myself?! I go to school full time and lift weights an hour a day. I do active stuff like snowboard and dirt bike and ride bikes occasionally. If you think that's pushing the human body that's pathetic. Very few stuff I did in the Army was even truly pushing myself to the brink. Maybe Ranger selection. Worlds strongest man competitors, the are pushing themselves. Olympic swimmers. Whatever guys are in the suck down in mountain phase of ranger school in GA. The dude who pulled a mini Cooper a full marathon. Those guys are pushing it. Damn. You really think I'm pushing myself? You have no IDEA of what the human body is capable of."
I was even taken aback by my response...but it really did irritate me that having a weight lifting routine and generally just being active was seen as "pushing it". Have we really fallen so out of fitness as a society? Do people really forget that humans evolved to walk, run, hunt, carry loads on our backs, build our own shelters etc?
I know I'm kind of being dramatic but for some reason this REALLY bothered me. I know it was well meaning, but part of me took it as a personal attack against what I'm truly physically capable of and also just what humans in general are capable of.
Thanks for your service. IMO, contrary to what many have mentioned, an hour a day of lifting and some active hobbies is not pushing ones' self if they have worked up to it. Pretty sure your level of activity has nothing to do with the vertigo.
If the vertigo hasn't cleared up see if your doctor can send you to a physical therapist trained to treat it. They have a way to determine where the crystals are floating around and can give specific exercises to correct as opposed to random movements. I did this and personal experience it cleared up in 2 days.
Best of luck.5 -
Agree with a lot of others. I think its more about feeling invalidated/criticized by your friend, that you are somehow doing something 'wrong' (pushing yourself). And seeing how much you are volunteering info about your past accomplishments, you are looking for (re)validation.
I think you'll find the most peace if you can just accept his comment in the spirit it was meant. I'm not him, but it sounds like he just wants you to feel better and that's how it came out. To take his very contextual comment as a symptom of his, and society's, lack of appreciation for what human beings are capable of is a bit of a jump.7 -
There's also a workup for the human body to be doing what could be seen as limits of human body.
Or frankly, limits of the human body you happen to have at the moment.
Someone that's been chair bound for years and is still with some sort of disease could be pushing themselves beyond really their limit by attempting to walk around the block.
The effect being seen as feet so messed up they have to stay off them for a few days, actually could have some mini-fractures (friend just dealt with that, now in double boots for 6 wks), or tendons/ligaments needing many days of recovery, ect.
Was that pushing beyond the limit.
So from that vantage point, perhaps person heard of issues you were having, and not really knowing your full schedule and means - thought pushing it too much.
Then again - probably didn't give that much thought to their comment, so they were just spouting basically something they'd heard before.2 -
OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.14 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »I’m curious based on this and somenorhrt threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
That's perfectly fine. I see no reason that everyone's goal should be to push their body to the human limit.2 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »I’m curious based on this and somenorhrt threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
That's perfectly fine. I see no reason that everyone's goal should be to push their body to the human limit.
I agree. I think OP does not and many other posts kind of indicate he feels pretty strongly about it. That’s why I was asking his thoughts on that.
I edited that to hopefully make it more clear that I’m asking the OP’s thoughts.4 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.8 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.7 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.8 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.
It is sad. Have you tried so sort of protein shake with him to get the protein and calories in? So many ways you can mix that stuff up he probably wouldn't know it was good for him1 -
What I've noticed is that when we start out on the road to fitness, everyone is supportive. Then as we start reaching goals, looking better, and making it a priority and focus, that support can change. Some people get worried that we're doing it wrong, or might have unrealistic goals. Once you hear a couple of those comments it can start to sound like criticism, or jealousy. I can understand some irrational anger at first. But you didn't let it go.
Men typically aren't good listeners when it comes to venting. They want to weigh in and come up with a solution--even if it's wrong. I suspect your sedentary friend did just that, and you took it harder than intended.
You're right that it is sad that society doesn't see enough value in fitness. But to be fair, even though the human body can and often does handle a crap-ton of stress and exertion, it's not always good to do so. The motto is "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," but sometimes it does kill us. Sometimes it does damage that can't be repaired, or takes a long time to heal. I'm not a doctor, so I can't say what causes vertigo, but it's a good idea to listen to your body when it's telling you something is wrong.
Maybe your friend and people here took it the wrong way. But you did list your injuries and interests, and you sound like you do push yourself. Whether it's too much or too hard is between you and your doctor.4
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