We broke up because...
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He never wore a shirt0
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She kept sticking her tongue out at me0
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He got all weirded out by my Indiana Jones collection0
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He gave me rope burn0
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He took my whiskey0
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He bought me a Crazy Cat Lady starter kit for Christmas0
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She wouldn't play with my kazoo0
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He had cutesy nicknames for body parts0
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She wouldn't play with my flute0
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He told me this story about one time at band camp...0
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She had no rhythm where it counts. Couldn't even humm a note.0
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He only spoke in puns and innuendo0
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He wouldn’t take off his Santa hat.0
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He wanted reindeer instead of turkey for Christmas dinner0
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She worked out with her trainer at his house for 9 hours a day she said that was how she made her body happy!0
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He was too busy being her personal trainer. He had no time for me.0
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She was jealous of my friends0
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😯 his friends were all imaginary0
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