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Please take it easy on the "Resolutioners"

Posts: 132 Member
edited December 2024 in Getting Started
There is this trend to look down at the hoards of new faces that enter the gym during the first part of the year. This 4th day of January I am asking that we don't take the usual stance and be kind to the "resolutioners". I would venture to guess that we all didn't come out of the womb in perfect tip top physical shape and had to start at some point.
The people that are making these decisions to change their situation for the better should not be looked down upon, but embraced and brought into a healthy life. There are the ones that aren't serious but I would think that the majority of these people come into the gym really wanting to make a change for the better and it is intimidating to walk into a gym as an overweight unhealthy person and see all of the men and women that have been there working for a long time. You have to work out next to these people that have bodies that look like they may as well have been chiseled from stone and you are sitting there with your too tight t shirt showing the rolls you are trying to get rid of and maybe trying out a new workout that you have never done before while feeling the judging glare from someone you can only dream about looking half way as good as.

So please in this 2019 if you see a new face in the gym can we just say hello? Or if they look lost try to point them in the right direction? Maybe give them a spot if they are struggling or some tips on their form in a friendly manner. This might lead to a positive experience in the gym and maybe next year they will be able to lend a hand to the next class of "resolutioners".

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Replies

  • Posts: 9 Member
    Well put! You really sum up how it feels to be a newbie in a gym. :#
  • Posts: 83 Member
    Very well put, as a serial starter I can tell you that it can be very intimidation for someone especially those not comfortable in their skin to go to the gym. They are paying to go and just because you have been going much longer they have all the right to be there. Gyms are not Exclusive
  • Posts: 11 Member
    Truth! Gyms are very intimidating. I dropped 20 pounds in 2018 at home but still am not confident enough to step in a gym.
  • Posts: 10,129 Member
    I agree with others that much of the percieved judging is self-conscious not reality. If you are intimidated or worried about what other are thinking, don't be. Most of the regular gym goers don't really notice the other people around them because they have a routine. If a regular in my gym was rude to a new person, it would be addressed by multiple people. If you do experience that, speak to management. If it continues, find a new gym - most are not like that at all.

    I am always happy to see people trying to do better for themselves. In fact, I look forward to the beginning of the year because it means that the locally owned gym I go to will be more getting business. New business means profits which means the gym will stay open. I love my gym so I want it to stay in business. Even if only a handful of the people continue going, it's a plus.

    ^^ So with you on this. In fact, I suspect it's the people who join in January and stop coming in February who are the backbone of the gym business -- it's great to be paid for a service you don't have to provide (or incur operational, cleaning, upkeep and repair expenses for).
  • Posts: 175 Member
    I agree with previous posts; the crowds are what's frustrating and years of gym going (trust me, I definitely don't look like it) shows the trend of heavy increase in January with a drop in February and a slight pick up in March in time for spring break.

    During this time it's more difficult to find your familiar machine, more equipment breakdowns occur, and most often regular routines are disrupted due to the large volume of people.

    That being said, I am always the one in class to offer a hello and show people the way. Most people in the gym are there focusing on their own workout that they don't pay attention to others (unless it interferes with their workout).
  • Posts: 6,644 Member
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    I hate this time of year because my gym is way more crowded, but I don't know who is new and who is not so couldn't give judging glares if I wanted to. And frankly most of the crowd seems pretty in shape -- I think lots of people get inspired to go to the gym once the holidays are over and so on, it's not primarily out-of-shape intimidated people.

    But in any case I'm with lynn on this, and don't think there's lots of looking down on and judging. I do think there's irritation with big crowds, but that's not something taken out on individuals, let alone newbies. It's like how I loathe stores and big shopping districts in much of December and wouldn't be caught dead in a mall (or Michigan Ave) on Black Friday.

    What I dislike more about this time of year (since I can vary my gym time to avoid the major crowds) is that it is colder outside usually (another big reason for more crowded gyms) and that every magazine and social media site seems to go overboard in pushing weight loss and nutrition woo.

    So much this!
  • Posts: 8,399 Member
    I see crowds, but no staring or unkind remarks. I also don't see an abundance of sculptured bodies. Where's your gym at OP? I'd like to go see all this. I just see normal people doing their stuff and the staff doing their job helping out the newcomers. I would ask newcomers to read the rules, or ask, if they have a question.
  • Posts: 2,033 Member
    I'll admit, I probably made a new person feel uncomfortable this past weekend. We have a dedicated group of women who do a women's cardio kickboxing class. Whenever someone new comes, we introduce ourselves and make a point of having them join one of the small groups during drills. I got there right at the beginning of class on Saturday so I couldn't introduce myself. I wanted to say hi to her so I tried to make eye contact. She would see me, I would smile and she would look away quickly. Several of us had the same reaction from her. She left immediately after the class. I think she thought she was being judged when we just really wanted to make her feel welcome. I'm not sure how I could have handled it better. Suggestions?
  • Posts: 36,287 Member
    edited January 2019
    I'll admit, I probably made a new person feel uncomfortable this past weekend. We have a dedicated group of women who do a women's cardio kickboxing class. Whenever someone new comes, we introduce ourselves and make a point of having them join one of the small groups during drills. I got there right at the beginning of class on Saturday so I couldn't introduce myself. I wanted to say hi to her so I tried to make eye contact. She would see me, I would smile and she would look away quickly. Several of us had the same reaction from her. She left immediately after the class. I think she thought she was being judged when we just really wanted to make her feel welcome. I'm not sure how I could have handled it better. Suggestions?

    I've done this before inadvertently. My thing is skating classes and I'm typically one of the more advanced people and I've been told intimidating on the ice cause I like to go fast and can be freight train like. If this happens usually after I'll go over and ask if they enjoyed the class and encourage them to come back.

    but whether these thoughts are perceived or whatever people benefit greatly from a warm smile and a hi or an offer of help. Ok some don't like that but if they're brand new a little welcome goes a long way to making them start feeling comfortable
  • Posts: 12,588 Member
    edited January 2019
    For Resolutioners...

    It's by no means appropriate for anyone to make you feel uncomfortable for trying to better yourself...

    But expect there to be Dbs who will....

    It's going to be part of the journey, part of the struggle, just another thing you will have to overcome and part of the game...

    The big question is, are you going to let this be the thing that derails your efforts for another year... A few Db's, who frankly everyone else already knows is a DB...

    Let these people motivate you...
    You belong there, otherwise you wouldn't be there...
  • Posts: 113 Member
    I am a runner and have lost track of the times people (non-runners and people who might be carrying a bit of extra weight) have told me they're too embarrassed to run outside, or intimidated to join a running club. I can categorically tell you that any runner/fit person is almost guaranteed to be inwardly willing on any newbies they notice, and have utmost respect for their willingness to show up and have a go. I bet most people in the gym either won't give you a second thought, or will think 'good for you'.
  • Posts: 2,595 Member
    Absolutely! I started on this journey in January last year. I had been thinking about it for a while, and was ready to buckle down in January, after the holidays were past. Whenever people get ready, they are welcome!
  • Posts: 6,644 Member

    I totally agree but saying this "Your personal discomfort level of being in a new and somewhat intimidating environment where you naturally feel out-of-place and awkward to begin with is making you interpret even the most casual and unintentional glances in your direction as some kind of disapproval." is basically saying you are feeling insecure but it is on you. Why not admit that the newbies are dealing with their own anxiety of being in a new environment. And it is ok for them to feel that way?

    This thread went from a "be kind to your fellow human" vibe to a "let's discuss social anxiety" thread. The spirit of the OP seems to be that we should be kind one another. I challenge anyone to find fault in that.

    Does the world need more kindness and compassion? Yes probably. However, everyone is different and that's what I get from this thread. I saw people being encouraging despite obstacles (perceived or otherwise). Meaning go to the gym and do your thing and not worry about the next person.
This discussion has been closed.