Advice for me re: teenage daughter

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  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
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    My 17 year old daughter and I struggle with this too. For her it is not an eating disorder, but part of her ADD. She is simply unable to think ahead to see the consequences.

    Ya know, I've had a lot of fights with my 17 year old about food too, but for some reason, it never occurred to me that it might be connected to her ADD . Her problem isn't overeating, it's not eating right. A lot of times she won't eat breakfast or lunch because she "didn't think about it". And when she does eat, she eats a lot of junk. But due to the fact that she's a perfectly healthy weight (right smack in the middle of normal bmi) she thinks she should be able to eat however she wants.

    I finally washed my hands of it. Said she's almost 18 and she's gonna have to figure it out for herself. And of course, since I did that, she's actually been eating a lot healthier lately.
  • happydeer
    happydeer Posts: 10
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    Encourage your daughter to think about college plans -- she might need to be intellectually and emotionally engaged in a new environment before she'll really be able to come to terms with whatever is driving her rebellion. Also, to be terribly blunt, colleges are places where a lot of people become more conscious of their bodies. I didn't really come to terms with my eating habits as a teenager (which were not particularly extreme, but just very unthinking) until I was in the dorms as an undergrad, where I had classmates who were really dedicated to exercise and eating well. The key part was that they were MY classmates (not my parents) and I was able to learn a lot of cool stuff from them. In the right environment, your daughter's knowledge about nutrition could play out very well.

    At my grad school, our recreation center has an instructional kitchen, and students often put on healthy eating programs. It's a major social element for undergrads of all sizes and fitness levels, and you can bet that (for better or worse) a lot of people really do talk openly about weight and health. Your daughter might just need a change of scene for it all to click and feel actionable.
  • haircrazie016
    haircrazie016 Posts: 12 Member
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    I dont have a lot to add, but I did want to say, I started going to fat camp when I was nine years old up until I was sixteen, and honestly I LOVED it! I went to camp pennbrook it was all girls, and my best friend to date is a girl I met there when I was 12. Every summer I lost around 20 lbs, and every year i would gain it all back plus some, primarily because my dad was a single dad and my diet consisted of pizza, chinese food, pizza, french fries, and more pizza! Not to mention I was and am an emotional eater, My relationship with my dad was a rocky one, and sugar/carbs were my comfort, so even though fat camp didnt exactly "work" in terms of getting fit and staying fit, it helped me know I wasnt alone. I couldnt relate to my friends as they were all thin, I had no one to talk to about my struggles and feelings about how I looked in my everyday life, fat camp was totally different, people understood, girls there felt the same way and we worked on building our confidence together, every year when i came home i felt great my self esteem would be high and I was happy, then things would get bad at home and old habits would take over... but that doesnt have to be the case with you and your daughter, since it sounds like you desperately want to be supportive and help your daughter succeed. If she has any interest in going back to camp, definitely do it! and while she is there take notes of what she does, what she eats, and what she enjoys there, so when she gets home you can make her favorite meals together, and do her favorite workouts together. make sure you tell her how proud you are of her, and how much you love her...and my best advice is get her out of the house for fresh air everyday! As someone who deals with depression, it was always hardest when i wouldnt leave the house and just stayed in and ate ate ate! Having someone to just motivate you a little bit to go for a walk, can really make depression turn around before it gets too intense.

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