Just lost my way completely, cannot stop eating
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L1zardQueen wrote: »Start tracking your intake.
I have been tracking, but binges are pretty difficult to track. I literally eat until I can't force anything else down. Don't know why I self-sabotage every time, but it's a difficult habit to break.
I think you should put any weight loss goals on hold and replace them with a goal of improving your attitude towards food. These behaviors sound like a binging habit, which is disordered eating and very hard to break without help. I found great success going to a behavioral therapist, who helped me build much better eating habits and helped me feel happier.
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gallicinvasion wrote: »L1zardQueen wrote: »Start tracking your intake.
I have been tracking, but binges are pretty difficult to track. I literally eat until I can't force anything else down. Don't know why I self-sabotage every time, but it's a difficult habit to break.
I think you should put any weight loss goals on hold and replace them with a goal of improving your attitude towards food. These behaviors sound like a binging habit, which is disordered eating and very hard to break without help. I found great success going to a behavioral therapist, who helped me build much better eating habits and helped me feel happier.
I'm absolutely miserable at this weight. Don't feel like leaving the house or seeing anyone. There is no way I can just forget about trying to get back down, the longer I stay at this weight, the more likely I am to binge eat. I did manage to stop binge eating for over a year and a half, not one binge. Once the weight starts falling off I know I'll feel happier and automatically the urge to binge will go.3 -
gallicinvasion wrote: »L1zardQueen wrote: »Start tracking your intake.
I have been tracking, but binges are pretty difficult to track. I literally eat until I can't force anything else down. Don't know why I self-sabotage every time, but it's a difficult habit to break.
I think you should put any weight loss goals on hold and replace them with a goal of improving your attitude towards food. These behaviors sound like a binging habit, which is disordered eating and very hard to break without help. I found great success going to a behavioral therapist, who helped me build much better eating habits and helped me feel happier.
I'm absolutely miserable at this weight. Don't feel like leaving the house or seeing anyone. There is no way I can just forget about trying to get back down, the longer I stay at this weight, the more likely I am to binge eat. I did manage to stop binge eating for over a year and a half, not one binge. Once the weight starts falling off I know I'll feel happier and automatically the urge to binge will go.
This was me 2 years ago. I found reasons or made up excuses to turn down most social events.
My children comment now how much my husband and I do things. They think it is because my last child moved into a dorm and started college this year, but the truth is, it is because I finally feel good about my weight.
I know you can do this, today is the day! When you feel like binging, remember what you just wrote. You did it before, and loved how you felt as the weight started coming off.
One thing that may sound silly, but what really helped me was to realize it is ok to feel hungry. The small, annoying hunger pangs is not your body telling you it is starving. This a 1st world philosophy. Most people in the world feel hunger between meals and at night. They feel hungry until the can locate and prepare something to eat. And they eat only what they can get. Here, where food is available immediately and in unlimited supply, we think feeling hungry is to be avoided.
I look forward to hearing about your success!7 -
There's a simple solution: since you aren't currently exercising, add some exercise. Losing weight can be hard for petite women, 1200 calories is not a lot, and it's not surprising you want to eat more. Even fifteen minutes of moderate exercise would add enough calories to let you have an extra snack. Make it 30 and you can eat another entire small meal. Plus, it's not possible to be healthy without being active.
It doesn't have to be something you dread - find some dance videos, take a short nature walk, whatever you like to do. And five minutes is better than no minutes.8 -
Agreed. If I didn't have the calories I get with exercise, I wouldn't be able to maintain my weight. At 62 and mostly sedentary, my calorie allowance is ridiculously low. With the exercise I get from daily walks with our dog plus running 5 days a week, I can eat pretty much what I want most of the time. I also know that when I feel hungry, it's real, not just boredom or stress, so I eat what I need.
There are a lot of different activities you could be doing. Walking, running, biking, dancing, rowing, climbing, yoga, martial arts, weights, skiing, calisthenics, etc. Surely you can find something that interests you enough to do it often. Even better, do a mixture of activities. Your health will be better, you will be happier, and chances are, you'll be able to lose the weight you've regained.3 -
I'm in a similar boat to the OP. I'm 5'5, female, 60 y.o. Five years ago I lost 50 pounds, felt great, stronger, younger. I started a gradual regain about one year ago, and I've gained 25 pounds of it back. My clothes don't fit, my joints are sore, and I avoid mirrors.
Not coincidentally, I've been preparing to move house for nearly a year. I have a great place to move into and I'm excited about doing it. But the work of doing it is overwhelming and stressful. I "don't have time" (read, don't make time) to go to the gym or for a run. I've been cooking less, eating more prepared junk food. And maybe most of all, I'm not sleeping well, so I'm tired and logy all day.
I'm sad about this. I remember how happy I was when I hit my current weight on the way down. Hitting it again now going the opposite direction is dispiriting. I'm resolving here and now that I'm going to make 15 minutes (15 minutes!! Anyone can find 15 minutes!!!) each day to do something -- walk fast, run, jump rope. And I'm going to get to bed at a time that allows me to be there for 7.5 hours, whether or not I sleep. My sense is that if I change just one or two of these negatives, I'll feel optimistic and empowered to do the other things I need to do, both for my fitness and for my moving project.
Strength to us both, OP.11 -
I started on this site in 2016 and managed to lose some weight (around 60 lbs total). Over the last year the weight has steadily crept up. Partly because 2018 was a very stressful year, but also because I was tired of weighing everything I eat and constantly thinking about calories and all the things that were off limits. Plus, I had gotten hungrier and although I wanted to lose a few pounds more, the weight wasn't coming off.
Although I had bad days, it wasn't too terrible as I usually managed to get back to eating right. But now I just eat, can't seem to get back into counting calories as I just feel so hungry all the time. I've tried a few different things, increased my calories to maintenance even, but nothing works. I get hungry and binge.
Since mid December I have gained over 10 lbs. At the end of August I was around 115 lbs, I now weigh 134 lbs or so. How do I stop this? Please help!
@Sam29a we have a lot in common. I’m 5’2 and happiest about 115Ib. I lost about 40Ib and maintained at 115Ib for 2 years. Then life got complicated, I stopped thinking about what I was eating starting grabbing a glass or two of wine every night, and gradually put on 20Ib.
Now I’m back to healthy eating and determined to get back to 115Ib, regardless of what life throws my way!
I don’t know if it will work for you, but here are my 3 top tips for getting back on the wagon:
1. Find you’re motivation. Why do you want to do this? You’ve got to really want it. For me I want to feel strong and healthy, and I just don’t when I am this heavy. I want that more than I want cake.
2. Don’t go straight from eating whatever to your target calories over night. I give myself a week or so where I am going to make healthy choices, but don’t count calories. I can eat as much as I want, provided it’s a healthy choice. Once I’ve done that for a week without feeling deprived I start weighing and tracking calories.
3. Be prepared. Know where you fall down and plan around it. I know I have to feel full after my evening meal otherwise I obsess over the things I can’t eat. With that in mind I volume eat at dinner. Everyone is amazed at the amount of veg I can eat - but I really enjoy my veg, and it keeps me full. I also know I get hungry around 3pm so I carry I 100 calorie protein shake with me. Fills me right up until dinner and stops me getting caught out and grabbing a high fat/calorie snack.
I’ve been eating healthily since 1 Jan. I’ve lost 5Ibs and no hunger pangs.
Good luck. If you want it you know you can do it!8 -
Sounds like you are stressed out, and when you stress out, you eat. You mentioned that you gained weight in December - the holidays are stressful for a lot of people, plus there is more temptation to overeat. I would focus on reducing stress first. When you are already maxed out on stress, counting calories becomes just another thing on your already overwhelming to-do list. Focusing instead on adding healthy habits - drinking more water, getting more exercise, eating more vegetables, and taking time to relax - will help you jump start your way back into weight loss without having to go straight to the grind of counting calories.1
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I have a slightly different suggestion rather than the tendency to become obsessed with height, age, gender BMI etc.
A number of us are on this site because we struggle with our relationship with food. You mentioned that your eating increased and may be correlated with your increased stress and quite likely the events and/or experiences which have impacted on your life. Perhaps you might review your “stressors” and empower yourself with a more constructive and functional style of problem solving techniques and not rely on food to be your “go to” response. Of course there is value in reviewing the details of appropriate eating behaviors but in my view the solution rests with your orientation to food.3 -
gallicinvasion wrote: »I think you should put any weight loss goals on hold and replace them with a goal of improving your attitude towards food. These behaviors sound like a binging habit, which is disordered eating and very hard to break without help. I found great success going to a behavioral therapist, who helped me build much better eating habits and helped me feel happier.
I'm absolutely miserable at this weight. Don't feel like leaving the house or seeing anyone. There is no way I can just forget about trying to get back down, the longer I stay at this weight, the more likely I am to binge eat. I did manage to stop binge eating for over a year and a half, not one binge. Once the weight starts falling off I know I'll feel happier and automatically the urge to binge will go.
I'm in a very very similar situation to you OP, same height and similar weight and everything, and I agree with gallicinvasion. From experience, keeping trying the same thing that's been failing you (restricting and trying to power through) isn't going to get you anywhere. I've been struggling with binge eating since June (for 3 months I counted 12 days without a binge episode so... pretty bad) and so long as I'm focused on how badly I need to lose the extra weight the more I binge. When I am distracted (holidays, christmas, stupidly busy in work) I just don't. Thinking about how much I need to control my eating sends my eating out of control. I know everyone is different but I honestly suggest trying just letting go of all this stress.
Rather than "when I lose weight I'll be happy" I'm trying to think about "when I'm happy I'll lose weight". Mental health has to come first in my opinion and binge eating is a sickness in the brain, not the body. I do still binge sometimes and I know it'll take me a while before I can start to think about actually losing weight again but I'd rather be chubby for a while now while I sort my brain out than be struggling like this for the rest of my life.
I hope you find what works for you OP but I don't think clinging to 1200kcal a day by your fingernails is it14 -
If you are close the the weight your body feels is natural - it will be harder to change this even if you have other ideas.
If you are sure that you need to be lower - why not try a new way of dieting? (Sneak up on your body from a new angle )
You have been calorie-counting (an effective way to diet -as you have shown) for a long time and probably have a set of meals/foods that you fall back on regularly and a set of things that regularly make you fail in your efforts.
So, try losing weight with a new plan for a while.
There are many 'diets' that you could try - to make a change. Perhaps select one that restricts some foods and doesn't require the same level of counting or one that counts different things. If you are usually a meat-eater, try a veggie plan. If you eat a very processed diet now - try a whole-foods plan. Whatever you go for, it will be refreshing - and might really help.
There is more than one way to skin a peach.14 -
Clearly you have the ability to curb your calories. Binge eating is a bad habit. Unfortunately sugar and salt can have a doubling effect...once you consume them you want twice as much.
Ultimately no advice from any amount of people will make you choose to stop over eating. It's a conscious choice. Some people are just more motivated than others to want to continue to succeed.
You have to remember too that losing weight and keeping it off requires a change in lifestyle not just diet - good eating habits combined with exercise over a sustained period of time (preferably the remainder of your time here on earth) is the only way to keep "fat" from coming back. If you got tired of counting/measuring and always felt hungry then you likely weren't focusing on creating new habits but rather you focused solely on weight loss.
Just remember it's okay to have a "cheat" or rather "treat" day once in a while. You can still enjoy all the goodies but limit the intake to once a week or less. As long as you have corrected your habits it makes little difference having a treat day in the long term.10 -
goodasgoldilox wrote: »If you are close the the weight your body feels is natural - it will be harder to change this even if you have other ideas.
If you are sure that you need to be lower - why not try a new way of dieting? (Sneak up on your body from a new angle )
You have been calorie-counting (an effective way to diet -as you have shown) for a long time and probably have a set of meals/foods that you fall back on regularly and a set of things that regularly make you fail in your efforts.
So, try losing weight with a new plan for a while.
There are many 'diets' that you could try - to make a change. Perhaps select one that restricts some foods and doesn't require the same level of counting or one that counts different things. If you are usually a meat-eater, try a veggie plan. If you eat a very processed diet now - try a whole-foods plan. Whatever you go for, it will be refreshing - and might really help.
There is more than one way to skin a peach.
umm no. all diets(ways of eating) require a deficit of calories for weight loss. you cannot sneak up on your body. changing her diet MAY change her mindset and I say MAY very strongly.and closer to the weight your body feels is natural? umm no if that were the case people with eating disorders would not get soo thin and people in 3rd workd countries would not lose all that weight either. even if you dont calorie count your body does!3 -
I have a very similar situation. I started at 193 in July 2016, and lost about 55 pounds. I gained back about 10 pounds by last summer, which I was fine with. Then, I got tired of weighing and logging, and have gained over 20 pounds since then. I just kept eating and eating. Last night, I thought "enough" and I am back to logging and 1200 calories a day. I am suddenly afraid of ending up right back where I started, which I probably will if I don't do something.0
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We can do this! Hugs to you all!4 -
LynnJ9 - that is great!
Reply to CharlieBeans (The smiles were to indicate that smiling is allowed in reading the original post.)
On changing eating plan for a while:
I think that most diets (that work) restrict calories.
They offer you different restrictions and these may not be magic in themselves but they help you find different foods/meals/approaches to exercise. At the root of this is the fact that by following them, you eat fewer calories and exercise more.
A change of 'packaging' can work when you feel jaded with one approach. Going back to calorie counting afterwards can seem like liberation.
It is a bit like changing a heavy suitcase from one hand to the other. The case is just as heavy but carrying it feels easier... for a while.
On your body allowing you to drop well below a healthy weight (a natural one for your body):
Not everyone here is aiming for a healthy weight. Weight loss gets slower as you reach 'target', especially if you have selected a target that is too low for you.
Yes - losing weight will continue if you starve your body of calories and keep doing so - of course it will! However unless you do have a disorder or are placed in a foodless prison you won't find it easy to keep starving yourself into being much lower than a healthy weight for your body. If you try, it is quite likely that you will be overcome with the urge to eat. (Something this thread is about.)1 -
goodasgoldilox wrote: »LynnJ9 - that is great!
Reply to CharlieBeans (The smiles were to indicate that smiling is allowed in reading the original post.)
On changing eating plan for a while:
I think that most diets (that work) restrict calories.
They offer you different restrictions and these may not be magic in themselves but they help you find different foods/meals/approaches to exercise. At the root of this is the fact that by following them, you eat fewer calories and exercise more.
A change of 'packaging' can work when you feel jaded with one approach. Going back to calorie counting afterwards can seem like liberation.
It is a bit like changing a heavy suitcase from one hand to the other. The case is just as heavy but carrying it feels easier... for a while.
On your body allowing you to drop well below a healthy weight (a natural one for your body):
Not everyone here is aiming for a healthy weight. Weight loss gets slower as you reach 'target', especially if you have selected a target that is too low for you.
Yes - losing weight will continue if you starve your body of calories and keep doing so - of course it will! However unless you do have a disorder or are placed in a foodless prison you won't find it easy to keep starving yourself into being much lower than a healthy weight for your body. If you try, it is quite likely that you will be overcome with the urge to eat. (Something this thread is about.)
not always true. many people will eat less and less because they see the weight isnt coming off as fast as they want. we know the closer you are to goal the slower the weight loss is. not everyone knows that and not everyone will try and lose slower. there are many posts about women here only needing to lose 10-15lbs a day and on a 2 lbs a week deficit which IS too much.many come here and eat the minimum of 1200 no matter how much they weigh which for most is too little to start out with.
many people want fast weight loss but they dont know the possible dangers that can stem from losing too fast. many dont care. as for starving yourself into a lower weight that is healthy. many do it,for most its because they have an eating disorder,or an unhealthy relationship with food. Maybe you or I would get hungry but the less you eat the less your body has to work to burn those calories off so your body starts reserving energy and the less you eat the less of an appetite most people have.
Then when those people eat too little their body starts using fat,lean mass,muscle to use for energy so they continue to still lose weight. some people eat so little and overexercise to lose the weight which is very unhealthy as well. when it comes to weight loss you DONT need to exercise to lose weight, But it is good for your bones,muscles and health. as for those coming here to be a healthy weight. for most I think the ones who are trying to lose are trying to get to a healthy weight I dont know of anyone here who is obese who just wants to lose a little weight but still be in the obese category, and many that want to gain are either trying to build muscle,are underweight and trying to get to a healthy weight as well or a combo of things.0 -
Have you managed to get back on track?
I’m 5’2 130lbs trying to get down to 115lbs also.0 -
be calm...and rethink what could work for you now, You are burned out on counting calories and I don't blame you. Don't ruin all your hard work..just find a new eating plan or way of eating that takes the pressure off and allows you to reach your goals.
I don't count calories.. but I have rules of eating that I live by.. I think more about all the things I can eat ..not what I can't. I go out to dinner once a week..makes it so easy to stick to my healthy food all week. So maybe shift your focus to what you can eat to say fit.
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Have you managed to get back on track?
I’m 5’2 130lbs trying to get down to 115lbs also.
Yes, sort of. Haven't binged since writing this post and have lost around 4 lbs. Pretty sure it was water weight from binging before, but still, happy to see a loss. But I know from past experience that I can sometimes do well for a week or two and then mess up. Fingers crossed I can get through the next few weeks, then I know I won't allow myself to mess up again.5
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