Disposable people

2»

Replies

  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,744 Member
    I feel this more IRL - that I'm not even worth a text (ffs) to say "stepping away" or some variation. I have started to assume that it has as much to do with their cowardice or previous experience where someone has demanded a why, rather than just accept what was provided and wish them the best.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

    Where did you go?

    He went to MFPs debate section for a serious hoe down.
  • Pour_Decisions
    Pour_Decisions Posts: 1,053 Member
    Ironlady70 wrote: »
    I may be old fashioned or naive, but when someone takes the time to get to know you then poof for no reason they disappear, does that make you feel worthless and disposable ?

    Yes it does ESPECIALLY when you’ve met in person and have gotten to know them intimately The least they can do is give you the courtesy of a freakin ‘goodbye, I’m going thru xyz and will not be in further contact’ Something, anything is better than completely ghosting someone. That is a total pussymove!!
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

    Where did you go?

    He went to MFPs debate section for a serious hoe down.
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

    Where did you go?

    A magician never reveals his secrets...

    Not so invisible it seems, Sir.
    Just absent.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

    Where did you go?

    He went to MFPs debate section for a serious hoe down.

    Did someone say hoedown???

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsKLDbnp0w8
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    edited January 2019
    Try not to feel bad. I think *ghosting* is common practice in dating now although I think it is horrible and cowardly. Most likely the other person has someone else. It is not a reflection on you though.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    No. People have all kinds of reasons for doing what they do, I don't always assume that's my problem.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    MistressSara wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Try not to feel bad. I think *ghosting* is common practice in dating now although I think it is horrible and cowardly. Most likely the other person has someone else. It is not a reflection on you though.

    Oh. I didn’t think of it in terms of “dating.” Still, online or IRL?

    I was talking about IRL.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    I'm awesome. If someone is too stupid to see that, their loss.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I think when you stretch yourself thin (ie, you mentioned always responding immediately, no matter how inconvenient), you have the potential to set up unreasonable expectations, both in yourself, and the other person. There is a tendency to expect the other person to give of themselves on the same level that you have, when they may not be willing or even capable, but since you have that expectation, and they don't meet it, you are both disappointed. It's totally appropriate to set boundaries and not always be available for someone whenever they reach out.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    MistressSara wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    MistressSara wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Try not to feel bad. I think *ghosting* is common practice in dating now although I think it is horrible and cowardly. Most likely the other person has someone else. It is not a reflection on you though.

    Oh. I didn’t think of it in terms of “dating.” Still, online or IRL?

    I was talking about IRL.

    I think that’s different. And I think even an online sexual/romantic relationship is different. I was thinking strictly of “friends” like on a friend list on MFP. I guess context matters

    Oh ok. Well in that case I'm not sure if I would consider it ghosting because you never met them.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    MistressSara wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    MistressSara wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Try not to feel bad. I think *ghosting* is common practice in dating now although I think it is horrible and cowardly. Most likely the other person has someone else. It is not a reflection on you though.

    Oh. I didn’t think of it in terms of “dating.” Still, online or IRL?

    I was talking about IRL.

    I think that’s different. And I think even an online sexual/romantic relationship is different. I was thinking strictly of “friends” like on a friend list on MFP. I guess context matters

    Wait, you have friends on your FL that you are sexual with? I've been doing this MFP thing ALL wrong!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..

    After all that work I put in on the back door? Really? REALLY?
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..

    After all that work I put in on the back door? Really? REALLY?

    The back door got smashed in.
    To smithereens.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..

    After all that work I put in on the back door? Really? REALLY?

    The back door got smashed in.
    To smithereens.

    Was it a...minivan?
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..

    After all that work I put in on the back door? Really? REALLY?

    The back door got smashed in.
    To smithereens.

    Was it a...minivan?

    With waaaaay more than five.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Who are you people and how did y'all get in here?

    We came in the side door.
    There's a secret password..

    After all that work I put in on the back door? Really? REALLY?

    The back door got smashed in.
    To smithereens.

    Was it a...minivan?

    With waaaaay more than five.

    Sounds like a real pain in the *kitten*.
  • Reckoner67
    Reckoner67 Posts: 3,344 Member
    Moon_Stone wrote: »
    Longish post, sorry in advance.

    Maybe it comes down to expectations and/or compatibility between the individuals be it romantic/ platonic or online/IRL relationships.

    I’ve ghosted before and just didn’t think the person would be bothered because we didn’t interact much or communicate. It felt superficial. I’ve also tried to say bye and sorry and that felt egotistical and terrible because it had nothing to do with them, just me and my own issues and it made it seem like I was making a production about saying goodbye. I felt really bad but didn’t want to get into it with them. I understand why people just disappear and I don’t think it’s horrible in all cases, just easier. It’s not because they’re disposable though at all.

    I’d take them ghosting you as having nothing to do with you. It’s whatever is going on in their head. You’re not disposable, your just not their priority unfortunately or maybe they didn’t feel like their expectations were being met. Don’t let this steal your joy or lose time on second guessing your worth. Let it go. Easier said than done, but focus on people still around you, who want to be around you and people that give as much as you give or have the same expectations.

    This is just my opinion and there are so many variables/possibilities of why, what if etc. Some people just disappear because they don’t think they meant enough to that person anyways or they just don’t care at all because your nothing to them. Whatever the reason you might never know, don’t let them steal joy and time from you with all the wondering. People come and go, and sometimes that’s a good thing.

    Oh yeah, this. I'm a serial social-media abandoner--I almost always come back, but I'm learning that when I need a break, I *need* that break. For me, it's pretty much 100% always where I am in my head. It's one of those self-care mechanisms, and generally what always brings me back is the people I enjoy talking to.

    Sometimes things get a 'lil dark in the old brain area though, and social media isn't the best place to hang out when stuff gets bad.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited January 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    Almost everyone I’ve “hung out with” has been a one time thing and then I get ghosted and it’s not fun. Emotions man. I got em
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Taz6o5
    Taz6o5 Posts: 3,441 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    I don't carry these kinds of emotion. I'm heartless I guess

    Heartless no .
    Thick skin yes.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories