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Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?

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  • snoo61snoo61 Posts: 479Member Member Posts: 479Member Member
    cory17 wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    cory17 wrote: »
    The never ending office saga - the books are unpacked and have one more box to figure out where the stuff should (or shouldn't) go. and the leftovers on the table. and couple other boxes of stuff that got thrown in there too. and making it look together? I'm just tired of this = need to hear get it done and it's worth finishing. Maybe feeling stuck with this is part of why I'm feeling unmotivated with my eating lately? Will devote a 1/2 hour every day this week.

    I've felt the " I'm stuck with this" attitude, and its depressing as hell. I did what you are planning, a certain amount daily, but told myself that " I get to do this now". It really made a difference. Thanks to @NewLIFEstyle4ME!

    Thanks @snoo61 (& @newlife) Attitude makes the biggest difference in things happening! Last two nights picked something tangible and emptied it. Tonight will be the table as want it put back in the garage.

    Good for you! Attitude changed everything for me, I'm glad it helped. :)
  • AllgaunAllgaun Posts: 160Member Member Posts: 160Member Member
    We might have to move in the next few weeks :( We like our apartment itself but the issue is with some of the other residents in our building.

    When we first moved in here we thought the building only allowed small dogs. Well apparently not as we have been seeing more and more large dogs and unfortunately, a couple of them are vicious. There are even certain dogs living here that I know for a fact are against the lease agreement but the management claims not to know about them. Our building has narrow hallways and stairways with blind corners so it's like a risk any time we go to and from our apartment now. My MIL who lives with us is disabled and would have no chance to get away if a dog tried to bite her or could have a fall injury if threatened by a dog. There has been some other sketchy behavior from a couple of our neighbors too, like arguments that brought police, loud music blasting at 3 AM and that sort of thing. We don't even want to report most of it because of fear of retaliation.

    I'm really pissed off about it. I hate that we have to be driven out of our home because other people don't use their critical reasoning when deciding where to live and what pets to have. First of all I really side-eye the decision to keep a large dog in a 950 square foot or less apartment. Large dogs need space to run around. If you can't provide that to them, get a small dog instead. And I REALLY side-eye the decision to keep a dog with temperament issues in a building where one has to navigate narrow halls and stairways with blind corners, that may or may not have strangers.

    We have been living here less than two years. I feel like we just moved in and now we have to pick up and go somewhere else.

    Anyway my husband plans to get the estimate for the renovations to his parents' abandoned hoarder house soon. Now he wants to fix it up so we don't have to rent anymore which would save a lot of money over time. I don't really want to live there and don't want to leave this area. I was hoping we could buy a house here eventually as we can afford one but he refuses because "I'm not going to buy another house when I already have a house that we could live in for less money."

    The hoarder house is in a good location in terms of property values but the neighborhood is ugly and crowded and is missing a lot of the amenities our current town has. We lived in that neighborhood before and I didn't feel at home. It isn't a cohesive community like our current town is. I really don't want to live there again but I feel like he already made his decision and I'm not allowed to have a choice. I don't want to continue to live with his mom either as she was originally only supposed to live with us for a few months until she was able to walk again and at some point it became "indefinitely" without anyone notifying me. I feel like my entire life is being controlled by everyone else and whenever I want something different, everyone acts like I'm a monster ruining everything.

    I was hoping we could at least live in this apartment for another year or two but now other people are ruining that for me too.

    You sound very depressed. I think you need someone to talk to, not just us, a close friend or relative, minister or counselor?

    I just got out of a 42 year marriage where I was not heard. My feelings weren't important. I stayed way to long because of kids and it was just easier. Marriage requires compromise but that means you each give a little, not that you feel like you've been run over by a truck.

    I became a professional whiner. I am not ascribing that to you at all, just my experience. I was so miserable but I had the support of my kids. They love their dad but know him well and accept his flaws as they accept mine. On the plus side, I've never been happier. I'm alone but loving it!
  • laurenq1991laurenq1991 Posts: 313Member Member Posts: 313Member Member
    Allgaun wrote: »
    You sound very depressed. I think you need someone to talk to, not just us, a close friend or relative, minister or counselor?

    I just got out of a 42 year marriage where I was not heard. My feelings weren't important. I stayed way to long because of kids and it was just easier. Marriage requires compromise but that means you each give a little, not that you feel like you've been run over by a truck.

    I became a professional whiner. I am not ascribing that to you at all, just my experience. I was so miserable but I had the support of my kids. They love their dad but know him well and accept his flaws as they accept mine. On the plus side, I've never been happier. I'm alone but loving it!

    Finding a new place to live, moving, and renovating are very stressful things. Especially if you're being driven out due to the behavior of people who you don't even know. And especially if you are someone who hates change like me. I don't even like going on vacation because I don't like being out of familiar surroundings. So a major life upheaval is terrible for me.

    I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends or relatives about this stuff in detail. My friends have their own problems and my relatives have a long history of using any weakness I show them against me.

    edited February 17
  • daklockdaklock Posts: 54Member Member Posts: 54Member Member
    @laurenq1991 I don't really know how to cook that well -- I can do basic meals but nothing fancy -- so if I eat at home I end up getting bored of the same things. It has become such a habit for us to go out to eat on the weekends, not to mention social occasions, that we would feel like something was missing without it.

    Check out the Eating Well Website. Loaded with lots of healthy recipes and foods. I've been making lots of recipes from this site, and the great thing is the recipe usually includes the nutritional information and often, it is already listed in the add food search. win, win.
  • cory17cory17 Posts: 433Member Member Posts: 433Member Member
    We might have to move in the next few weeks :( We like our apartment itself but the issue is with some of the other residents in our building.

    When we first moved in here we thought the building only allowed small dogs. Well apparently not as we have been seeing more and more large dogs and unfortunately, a couple of them are vicious. There are even certain dogs living here that I know for a fact are against the lease agreement but the management claims not to know about them. Our building has narrow hallways and stairways with blind corners so it's like a risk any time we go to and from our apartment now. My MIL who lives with us is disabled and would have no chance to get away if a dog tried to bite her or could have a fall injury if threatened by a dog. There has been some other sketchy behavior from a couple of our neighbors too, like arguments that brought police, loud music blasting at 3 AM and that sort of thing. We don't even want to report most of it because of fear of retaliation.

    I'm really pissed off about it. I hate that we have to be driven out of our home because other people don't use their critical reasoning when deciding where to live and what pets to have. First of all I really side-eye the decision to keep a large dog in a 950 square foot or less apartment. Large dogs need space to run around. If you can't provide that to them, get a small dog instead. And I REALLY side-eye the decision to keep a dog with temperament issues in a building where one has to navigate narrow halls and stairways with blind corners, that may or may not have strangers.

    We have been living here less than two years. I feel like we just moved in and now we have to pick up and go somewhere else.

    Anyway my husband plans to get the estimate for the renovations to his parents' abandoned hoarder house soon. Now he wants to fix it up so we don't have to rent anymore which would save a lot of money over time. I don't really want to live there and don't want to leave this area. I was hoping we could buy a house here eventually as we can afford one but he refuses because "I'm not going to buy another house when I already have a house that we could live in for less money."

    The hoarder house is in a good location in terms of property values but the neighborhood is ugly and crowded and is missing a lot of the amenities our current town has. We lived in that neighborhood before and I didn't feel at home. It isn't a cohesive community like our current town is. I really don't want to live there again but I feel like he already made his decision and I'm not allowed to have a choice. I don't want to continue to live with his mom either as she was originally only supposed to live with us for a few months until she was able to walk again and at some point it became "indefinitely" without anyone notifying me. I feel like my entire life is being controlled by everyone else and whenever I want something different, everyone acts like I'm a monster ruining everything.

    I was hoping we could at least live in this apartment for another year or two but now other people are ruining that for me too.

    I see some of your husband's points. Sounds like it's about $ costs to him. BUT, hopefully, he's not planning to live in the house while it's being renovated? That would be hell. What would it bring in after renovation if it was rented out? Would it be more than your apartment rent since in good location? Would that make it easier for you to continue to live in the neighborhood that you do like? Do the numbers for different options.
    MIL - can the dog issue justify her going to stay with some other relative for a while (give you a break).
    Agree with you about large dogs in small areas, not fair to the dogs, and they absolutely all need socialization, that's on the socalled owners. Maybe animal regulation?
    Not sure where you live but in the US the whole "emotional support" animal thing makes it extremely difficulty for any landlord to get those animals out after they're in, people buy fake certificates on the internet while their dogs are trashing places.
  • laurenq1991laurenq1991 Posts: 313Member Member Posts: 313Member Member
    cory17 wrote: »
    I see some of your husband's points. Sounds like it's about $ costs to him. BUT, hopefully, he's not planning to live in the house while it's being renovated? That would be hell. What would it bring in after renovation if it was rented out? Would it be more than your apartment rent since in good location? Would that make it easier for you to continue to live in the neighborhood that you do like? Do the numbers for different options.
    MIL - can the dog issue justify her going to stay with some other relative for a while (give you a break).
    Agree with you about large dogs in small areas, not fair to the dogs, and they absolutely all need socialization, that's on the socalled owners. Maybe animal regulation?
    Not sure where you live but in the US the whole "emotional support" animal thing makes it extremely difficulty for any landlord to get those animals out after they're in, people buy fake certificates on the internet while their dogs are trashing places.

    He did want to live in the house while it was being renovated. I told him that was not feasible. He still doesn't believe me so I told him when the contractors come in to do an estimate, ask them. I don't know how he possibly thinks we could live there while they're re-wiring, putting in new appliances and fixtures, putting down new flooring and paint, and all the other stuff they have to do. All our stuff would get ruined for one thing. His mom has respiratory problems and she has a pet bird too and birds are really sensitive to dust and chemicals (I can't even use scented candles or nonstick pans). I think he may have realized I'm not going to let that happen but he doesn't fully understand why and he thinks I'm just being "oversensitive."

    No, she's not going to leave. If she was willing to live in the hoarder house for years with no air conditioning, inadequate heat, inadequate plumbing, inadequate electricity, roaches, mice, black mold, dust, broken everything, piles of stuff everywhere, etc. there's no way a few dogs will drive her out. We are most likely stuck with her and her pet bird for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't mind if I was getting some financial compensation from her, but so far that hasn't happened. The only reason I let her move in with us is because she literally could barely walk or talk after a long illness and hospitalization, she couldn't live independently and there was nowhere else for her to go. For some reason the insurance decided she didn't qualify for assisted living so it would have been $7000 a month. It was only supposed to be for a few months until she was no longer housebound and then she would move to Florida and live with relatives. She is now pretty much back to normal with only a few disabilities (she can't drive, needs a cane sometimes, still has breathing problems when exposed to dust or strong fragrances, and some other minor disabilities, but other than that she's fine) but now it seems like the question of her leaving is off the table.

    I wouldn't be surprised if some kind of fraud is happening. I already know someone has a banned breed of dog in here and they most likely lied about the breed since the management claims to know nothing about it.

    In any case we got the paperwork to renew our lease today and we're most likely going to renew it anyway. A lot is going on right now for my husband and I, and it would be way too stressful to find a new place to live and set up a move on top of everything else. For now I'm just dealing with it by listening intently to see if anyone is in the hallways, stairs, or elevator and waiting until nobody is there before I go up or down the stairs. Then the house should be done by next April when our lease expires and we can move in.

    My main concerns with living in the house are a) I guess after seeing how bad it was/is, I just can't imagine it ever being a nice place to live, b) I hope it doesn't become a money and time pit, c) I'm afraid that my MIL will go back to her hoarding and squalor ways once she is back in "her" house rather than just confining the mess to her bedroom (my husband has said he will make sure this doesn't happen but I'm not so sure), and d) because of the design of the house I don't know if there will be enough space, although I don't know if that's just because I've only ever seen it packed full of stuff. I don't like the area but at least it would be closer to my friends and easier to get around without a car.

    Oh BTW I almost forgot to put in my clutter update which I came here to post originally. I had a pile of stuff sitting in my bedroom for weeks (mostly stuff from my husband's closet cleanout) and I finally got rid of it. I realized the stuff was not really worth donating especially with thrift stores overloaded from Konmari, and so I threw out or recycled it. I put a few items downstairs on the window ledge where people leave items that other people might want but nobody has taken them yet. If they haven't been taken in a few days I will get rid of them too. I don't like to throw things out but the main lesson is just not to buy stuff you don't really need or want. I also found a fabric recycling bin so I will put our bag of worn out clothing in there on Saturday.
    edited February 22
  • cory17cory17 Posts: 433Member Member Posts: 433Member Member
    @laurenq1991 Couple other thoughts - title of MIL house, is it still hers? Clarify and change otherwise it will be "her" house after you've sunk big bucks. Check w/your tax person about the long term implications too.
  • snoo61snoo61 Posts: 479Member Member Posts: 479Member Member
    Its been a month, and my pulled muscles are finally trying to heal. Chest muscles are horribly sensitive! I went through a tube of Ben Gay in that time! I'm hoping that tomorrow I can go through a box, while I watch hockey. Please God, I sleep more than 3 hours.
  • cory17cory17 Posts: 433Member Member Posts: 433Member Member
  • RetiredAndLovingItRetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 534Member Member Posts: 534Member Member
    Awhile ago, I posted about a chart I had gotten a few years ago for "Decluttering 2017 things in 2017". Just found the link again to get the new chart. It can be found at www.NourishingMinimalism.com. Yearly Decluttering Challenge. Now to get started doing it! :)
  • cory17cory17 Posts: 433Member Member Posts: 433Member Member
    Awhile ago, I posted about a chart I had gotten a few years ago for "Decluttering 2017 things in 2017". Just found the link again to get the new chart. It can be found at www.NourishingMinimalism.com. Yearly Decluttering Challenge. Now to get started doing it! :)

    How's it going? Looked this up and it's a great idea. Going to try doing also
  • RetiredAndLovingItRetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 534Member Member Posts: 534Member Member
    I have my chart posted in laundry room & getting started slowly. I have a file chest with 15 small drawers & one big file type drawer. The other day I went through all the drawers except the big one & took everything out. Threw away a lot of papers (I just did a random number on the chart--20 or so--wasn't going to account for each one--my chart would have been half full, lol.) Now to finish putting things back in & will probably be getting rid of more. It seemed the easiest place to start. When I did it in 2017, my chart was going well, but then we moved & it got put aside.
  • cory17cory17 Posts: 433Member Member Posts: 433Member Member
    Over the weekend we pulled out everything on one side of the garage. It mainly has stuff, my camping things pre dh (used to take my kids camping often but now they're grown & gone and he's not interested/won't try, so haven't used in years but I would still like to go), spare tiles/construction from my elderly mother's rental house nearby. I honestly don't need a half dozen sleeping bags. There's a 8 ft shop light he doesn't want, kinda new. A briefcase, looks new. Lots of paint rollers. It's all useable but don't think the donation places will take most of this?
  • snoo61snoo61 Posts: 479Member Member Posts: 479Member Member
    cory17 wrote: »
    Over the weekend we pulled out everything on one side of the garage. It mainly has stuff, my camping things pre dh (used to take my kids camping often but now they're grown & gone and he's not interested/won't try, so haven't used in years but I would still like to go), spare tiles/construction from my elderly mother's rental house nearby. I honestly don't need a half dozen sleeping bags. There's a 8 ft shop light he doesn't want, kinda new. A briefcase, looks new. Lots of paint rollers. It's all useable but don't think the donation places will take most of this?

    Maybe a thrift shop will take some?
  • snoo61snoo61 Posts: 479Member Member Posts: 479Member Member
    I'll be home on Thurs., and hopefully will get back on track. My dad had a pacemaker put in unexpectedly, so I've been with him for 2 weeks. He's doing great now, so I'm comfortable leaving. My brother lives close too.
  • Snowflake1968Snowflake1968 Posts: 3,608Member Member Posts: 3,608Member Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    cory17 wrote: »
    Over the weekend we pulled out everything on one side of the garage. It mainly has stuff, my camping things pre dh (used to take my kids camping often but now they're grown & gone and he's not interested/won't try, so haven't used in years but I would still like to go), spare tiles/construction from my elderly mother's rental house nearby. I honestly don't need a half dozen sleeping bags. There's a 8 ft shop light he doesn't want, kinda new. A briefcase, looks new. Lots of paint rollers. It's all useable but don't think the donation places will take most of this?

    Maybe a thrift shop will take some?

    In Edmonton we have restores that are connected to Habitat for Humanity that takes construction materials.
  • snoo61snoo61 Posts: 479Member Member Posts: 479Member Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    cory17 wrote: »
    Over the weekend we pulled out everything on one side of the garage. It mainly has stuff, my camping things pre dh (used to take my kids camping often but now they're grown & gone and he's not interested/won't try, so haven't used in years but I would still like to go), spare tiles/construction from my elderly mother's rental house nearby. I honestly don't need a half dozen sleeping bags. There's a 8 ft shop light he doesn't want, kinda new. A briefcase, looks new. Lots of paint rollers. It's all useable but don't think the donation places will take most of this?

    Maybe a thrift shop will take some?

    In Edmonton we have restores that are connected to Habitat for Humanity that takes construction materials.

    That's a great idea!
  • RetiredAndLovingItRetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 534Member Member Posts: 534Member Member
    I love going to the Habitat Restore here, so many things you might need at a very good prices. My husband has gotten electrical things, & a lot of little things. One of my grandkids broke the cover on the hall light & it seemed an odd size, but found one there that worked great. It was a "chandelier", got it for $18, took the cover off & sold the rest at the garage sale. Some of the stores even have furniture.
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