I’m surrounded by Stepford wives

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2

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  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    @chelny Bu the way you should definitely try rowing! That actually sounds like a fun way to get toned!
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    It’s not all in my head, I had a guy tell me he’d be happy to have a physical relationship with me but as far as girlfriend material, I don’t have “the look” he’s going for. Naturally comments like this knock back who I know I am and my confidence to put myself out there.
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,819 Member
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    You must live in SoCal 😆
  • KimberlyCapone
    KimberlyCapone Posts: 42 Member
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    julesdechaine wrote: »
    This actually makes me really sad for you. Before you attempt to tackle the outside, start working on your insides. You seem very disgruntled and bitter, and I don't mean to be harsh with that. You are judging people pretty meanly, and because a guy was talking to a pretty woman, you broke up with him?

    Comparing yourself to others will literally destroy you. Focus on all the positive attributes you possess, and grow from there.

    If your only motivation is revenge, you will not be successful.

    Thank you for posting this. Self love is SO important. There will always be someone prettier, funnier, and smarter than you - but there is not another you.
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
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    I would try not to get yourself into the comparison mode, or the "revenge" mode. I know that sometimes it is hard to avoid it, but I would focus on worrying what is best for you, and not about how you compare to everyone else. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be someone out there skinnier, prettier, more in shape, etc. If we try to measure our value based on others we will always fall short.

    Rather focus on making improvements for yourself. A diet with a reasonable calorie deficit is all you need (exercise is good too but it is a plus) and you can make changes and progress. Focus on doing those things for you, and I am confident you can have results.
  • tattoomary
    tattoomary Posts: 44 Member
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    I think you sound like a great fun person....Id love a friend like you :) We all get bouts of insecurity, keep you head up get a bit of 'me' time and all will come good.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    Thanks for the kind comments!
  • tracieknits
    tracieknits Posts: 7 Member
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    For me, drinking will tank all of my effort in weight loss. Especially sugary cocktails and beer. I had to learn to like very dry wine, or gin in seltzer with a twist of lime or grapefruit. Far fewer calories and carbs! When I was over 270, I was really eating so much crap, and I didn't really realize how bad it was. And I was depressed. Well when I started eating better (i.e. half the plate green vegetables, most of my meals from scratch), I started feeling so much better. And *that* helped me stay on track for weight loss.

    I'm not perfect, but it's 8 years later and I'm still down over 50 pounds. I've been down as far as 74 pounds down but I've been enjoying too much wine and gin over the past year. So I'm cutting back and getting serious again.

    We have a lot of stepford wives here too and I'm frankly glad I don't have to compete. But let me tell you something - you want a guy who cares about more than looks.
  • Monkeyfreck
    Monkeyfreck Posts: 65 Member
    edited April 2019
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    You are making a mistake.
    It is not a zero sum game.

    Because someone else can have something or be a certain way, does not in anyway mean that supply is restricted and you can’t have the same.

    Some of us have advantages in various parts of life. Some of us have to work harder in various parts of life.

  • Monkeyfreck
    Monkeyfreck Posts: 65 Member
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    tracieknits wrote: »
    For me, drinking will tank all of my effort in weight loss.

    This!
    Im an expert in this area - I’ve tried to
    fool myself on this every way possible.

  • melaniedscott
    melaniedscott Posts: 1,306 Member
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    jebagby2014 wrote: »
    It’s not all in my head, I had a guy tell me he’d be happy to have a physical relationship with me but as far as girlfriend material, I don’t have “the look” he’s going for. Naturally comments like this knock back who I know I am and my confidence to put myself out there.

    That says more about him than you. He is a kittenhole (or maybe a cathole, you pick). I've got a friend who realized a couple years back that he was super shallow when it came to dating. He owned and moved on, which earned some points , but still...some guys are stepford husbands...
  • mstarks01
    mstarks01 Posts: 109 Member
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    I can tell you that living a healthy lifestyle became a lot easier for me when I got a job closer to home (work from home ftw)! I know you don't want to move to where your work is, so maybe you can work closer to where you live?
  • akpsavings0607
    akpsavings0607 Posts: 2 Member
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    For whatever it's worth, I did not think you sounded disgruntled or bitter, I read sense of humor and honest about what you were feeling.

    Take this with a grain of salt, but I googled fitness competition for women and read some amazing stories about total body transformations. I'm 46 so I looked for older women to read their journey. Now, I've birthed 7 babies and will never be in a bikini, but finding 1500 calorie eating plans, lifting heavy, cardio and tracking macros... there is something that has clicked in me and I'm doing this. This time will be the last time.

    So, happily married to a very supportive man who has loved me at various shapes and sizes, 46, mom of 7 and I homeschool. So not a lot of free time. I force myself to get up and work out early before the kids are up. For me, personally, it is always about my attitude and whether or not I really want it.

    Hope this encourages you somehow.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    It does! Thanks!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    jebagby2014 wrote: »
    Thanks to those who could see the sarcasm in my post - making jokes is how I deal with things that are hard to say. Today was a big test! My birthday and going out where my friends want to buy me rounds and I was good; I kept counting the calories and when I had my limit I gave away my drinks. I also avoided the pile of fried shrimp drenched in yummy sauce for a mini crab cake which in this area is mostly crab. The restaurant brought me a dessert and I had a spoonful then passed it down for others to try. The bigger test will be this weekend for my actual birthday party. BBQ is on the menu.

    But calories dobt count on your birthday, everyone knows that! :laugh:
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    😂 Well boo then! I should have had the shrimp!!!
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
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    I’m feeling better; I just sometimes am hard on myself. We are our worst critics. My birthday was yesterday and I was reminded that I have a whole group of people who love me for me. I’m very lucky to have the friends that I do. I rented an Airbnb for the weekend and plan on having a big party on Saturday. I’m looking forward to it but I also know it’s going to be hard resisting everything bad for me that comes with a party. Is it wise to save up calories for the night and just eat less during the day?

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