Tell me a joke

HelenGerdes
HelenGerdes Posts: 26 Member
in Chit-Chat
You have center stage, let’s hear it 🤪

Replies

  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    edited April 2019
    What's your joke - shouldn't you lead off and set the bar??
  • HelenGerdes
    HelenGerdes Posts: 26 Member
    @Cowsfan1 Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?

    Bc it was two tired!

    Lol I’m horrible at jokes, I know there’s better ones out there
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Aight I got you

    Why was Tigger in the toilet?
  • HelenGerdes
    HelenGerdes Posts: 26 Member
    @Cowsfan1 bc he is environmentally conscious?
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Looking for Pooh of course!
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Uh how much did Santa sleigh cost?
  • HelenGerdes
    HelenGerdes Posts: 26 Member
    @Cowsfan1 7 pesos?
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Dude It was on the house- c’mon man
  • HelenGerdes
    HelenGerdes Posts: 26 Member
    @Cowsfan1 Haha I’m telling you like I’m horrible, tried an educated guess
  • Danw586
    Danw586 Posts: 237 Member
    MFP has a terrific UI
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
    What's the definition of a crop failure?
    When you plant macaroni but only the holes come up
  • Reckoner67
    Reckoner67 Posts: 3,344 Member
    Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?

    Because he didn’t have the guts
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Did you hear about the guy that got hit in the face with a coke???

    He’s ok it was a soft drink
  • Dakase83
    Dakase83 Posts: 2,524 Member

    How do you make Holy Water??


    Boil the heII out of it
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Dakase83 wrote: »
    How do you make Holy Water??


    Boil the heII out of it

    Good one
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    You hear about the kidnapping at school the other day???

    He woke after lunch
  • Dakase83
    Dakase83 Posts: 2,524 Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    Dakase83 wrote: »
    How do you make Holy Water??


    Boil the heII out of it

    Good one

    Thanks! My 5 year old nephew told me that one :lol:
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    A panda walks into a bar.

    He sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender brings it over, and he consumes the sandwich in one bite. He downs the beer. Then he stands, and produces a gun from the folds of his fur and begins firing it at the various patrons in the place. He then turns and heads to the door.

    The bartender screams at him, "Why?? Why would you do such a thing??"

    The panda tosses the bartender a wildlife guide and says, "I'm a panda, look it up."

    The bartender opens the book to the appropriate entry and reads the following: "Panda. A mammal indigenous to China, known for its black and white fur. Eats shoots and leaves."
  • John3859
    John3859 Posts: 3 Member
    A termite walks up to the bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"
  • Dakase83
    Dakase83 Posts: 2,524 Member
    When is a door not a door??

    When its a jar...
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
  • Terytha
    Terytha Posts: 2,097 Member
    A drum set falls off a cliff.
    Ba-dum tshh!


    Did you hear about the red ship that crashed into the blue ship?

    The survivors were marooned!
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    edited May 2019
    It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  • Reckoner67
    Reckoner67 Posts: 3,344 Member
    Either I’m drooling from the sky or it’s raining
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly

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