Why are we overweight?

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  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
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    I really appreciate all the comments. The Nelson Mandela thought really stuck with me. Sometimes I don't think people know the pain they cause by thoughtless comments. Sometimes it is hard for people to muster compassion for fear they may have to recognize the emotional devastation they have caused others. We all need to hear that we are loved and accepted. If we keep this in mind we will never make thoughtless comments like you're ugly and you are fat or you don't look like a ten.

    Here's to unpacking our emotional baggage.:drinker:
  • lenece
    lenece Posts: 389 Member
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    I have alot of emtional baggage that wont ever leave me, ever....I am sittin here typing this I am once eating again..I do great all day long then night comes n its like when the sun goes down I"m like an eating monster...I dont know I know this is crazy talk..I know alot of you may think I should go talk to someone but u know u need insurance and money to do that...

    I have applied for Indiana medicaid and also HIP...I have 3 kids a single mom...I get SSI and I cant afford to do anything..Before anyone says anything bout cutting cost in life I have already done that..A single mom finds ways real quick to cut things out of life...Like right now I need a LEEP procedure to burn away pre cancer cells in my cervix..Cant do nothing about it..All the doors have been slammed in my face due to the fact that they want $1000 up front to do anything...I've trying to find a doctor who will take payments and I may have...Its been a hell of a struggle in the last year of my life...My childern n I lost our house, we moved 6 days b4 christmas 2007,april 2008 my ex husband walked out on us only leaving us $15, may 2008 filed for divorce,august 2008 my divorce was final, september 2008 my step father of 26 years passed away, Jan 2009 I found out I may have cervical cancer,February 2009 still could get cervical cancer if I dont get ths procedure......

    I have alot of baggage in my life always have always will....The only thing I am worried about at this point in time is getting this procedure done..I cant leave my kids....I'm so SICK of hearing cervical cancer or the pre cancer is no big deal..Well in MY case it is..If not taken care of will turn into cervical cancer n yes you CAN die from cervical cancer...As far as going to a counselor for all this well you need money which I DO NOT have...Sorry to bring anyone down...Thank you for your kind words everyone...Dana
  • marisol7649
    marisol7649 Posts: 484 Member
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    I have alot of emtional baggage that wont ever leave me, ever....I am sittin here typing this I am once eating again..I do great all day long then night comes n its like when the sun goes down I"m like an eating monster...I dont know I know this is crazy talk..I know alot of you may think I should go talk to someone but u know u need insurance and money to do that...

    I have applied for Indiana medicaid and also HIP...I have 3 kids a single mom...I get SSI and I cant afford to do anything..Before anyone says anything bout cutting cost in life I have already done that..A single mom finds ways real quick to cut things out of life...Like right now I need a LEEP procedure to burn away pre cancer cells in my cervix..Cant do nothing about it..All the doors have been slammed in my face due to the fact that they want $1000 up front to do anything...I've trying to find a doctor who will take payments and I may have...Its been a hell of a struggle in the last year of my life...My childern n I lost our house, we moved 6 days b4 christmas 2007,april 2008 my ex husband walked out on us only leaving us $15, may 2008 filed for divorce,august 2008 my divorce was final, september 2008 my step father of 26 years passed away, Jan 2009 I found out I may have cervical cancer,February 2009 still could get cervical cancer if I dont get ths procedure......

    I have alot of baggage in my life always have always will....The only thing I am worried about at this point in time is getting this procedure done..I cant leave my kids....I'm so SICK of hearing cervical cancer or the pre cancer is no big deal..Well in MY case it is..If not taken care of will turn into cervical cancer n yes you CAN die from cervical cancer...As far as going to a counselor for all this well you need money which I DO NOT have...Sorry to bring anyone down...Thank you for your kind words everyone...Dana

    We will be your support group.When you are feeling down write down your thoughts and viola you have free therapy. I am an insurance lady, and I have found ways to help people w/o insurance get help.
  • aprilf
    aprilf Posts: 34 Member
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    Dana,
    I've felt that way too. Like the only fat girl in the class (though in reality I was only 2nd or 3rd). Growing up, I never felt like I had friends, had a few birthday parties that were just me and one other person my mom and I invited. V-day never has been a favorite holiday as I always felt I got sympathy cards in my box. I think to balance the lack of friends, my mom made sure my brother and I had after school snacks of slushies and candy bars. But as I grew older, I got more friends. More support. Though, I did have a guy in high school ask when my baby was due. My family still picks on my and each other's weight. I dropped 20 lbs in graduate school while finishing my degree, because I knew writing all the time would cause me to balloon and that I was worth the effort. I'd established good friendships that balanced my family not being near by. But I think the most important thing that has helped me is friends who are ok with me not eating everything in front of me. We rejoiced in leftovers after meals, as it meant a cheap lunch the next day. Finding support amongst friends who understand can balance out all the years of not having them around.
  • lenece
    lenece Posts: 389 Member
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    I'm really sorry,,I didnt mean to come onto this thread n make it about me or for me..I was just vocing my opinon..I have alot of reasons why I'm fat...Its not just from not having a thyroid...I'm carryin around alot of baggage that I just cant let go...I wish I could..I've tried, even been to a counselor at one time..I wish I could go to one again..There are days I feel like I'm losing my mind and other days I'm happy as a lark...I dont like being labeled but thats how its goes..I'm the fat mom, the bi*ch thats fat, mouthy and worthless...All I can say is that I'm a good mom n my kids are why I breathe everyday...Sorry all I just have to get this out....
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,121 Member
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    I'm really sorry,,I didnt mean to come onto this thread n make it about me or for me..I was just vocing my opinon..I have alot of reasons why I'm fat...Its not just from not having a thyroid...I'm carryin around alot of baggage that I just cant let go...I wish I could..I've tried, even been to a counselor at one time..I wish I could go to one again..There are days I feel like I'm losing my mind and other days I'm happy as a lark...I dont like being labeled but thats how its goes..I'm the fat mom, the bi*ch thats fat, mouthy and worthless...All I can say is that I'm a good mom n my kids are why I breathe everyday...Sorry all I just have to get this out....

    Dana, please feel you are WORTH our caring about you. Because you ARE. Thyroid problems (I'm on life-long thyroid replacement) can cause depression as well as weight issues. If you can just get treated effectively for that, you will feel better. Thyroid blood tests are very cheap even without insurance, and replacement therapy is about 7 dollars a month.

    And this IS counseling. We are not professionals, but counseling is mostly you talk and talk and talk until you figure out your own answers. Unless there is some biochemical imbalance - and obviously only your doctor can help you there. Eating nutrtious food and exercise were the first things I was told to do when I was having a lot of drama in my life, and I needed help. So, nutrition, exercise and thyroid replacement - all inexpensive - may improve your mental outlook tremendously. You have to do something.

    YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! We are all beyotchy at times, and we've all been fat. So?? You are in good company here. You are safe.
  • stillkristi
    stillkristi Posts: 1,135 Member
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    Hi, everyone, I am just checking in for the first time this evening. I wanted to add my 2 cents. Dana, I have to echo cmr - and I am a therapist, but one thing I know is I don't have any magic to work. There is no wizard of oz. In fact, when therapy works, it is just as cmr said, YOU talk and then you talk more, and eventually, you discover the answers inside yourself. A therapist can give you some tools to use on your journey of discovery, that's all.

    One thing I do know, and I've worked a lot with women who have lived through horriffic abuse - you are stronger than you know. You've lived through being ostracized in school, and divorce, and losing 92 lbs, and I know a lot more. Don't give your power up any more. Be the kind of friend you want to have. Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world." You said the baggage will never leave you. Well, then you leave it. After all, it isn't you - its just baggage, and it sounds like unnecessary baggage. DUMP IT! Have a big old baggage dumping party! :mad: Write those things down and then take the pages outside and set them on fire :explode: You can do this.
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    I have alot of emtional baggage that wont ever leave me, ever....I am sittin here typing this I am once eating again..I do great all day long then night comes n its like when the sun goes down I"m like an eating monster...I dont know I know this is crazy talk..I know alot of you may think I should go talk to someone but u know u need insurance and money to do that...

    I have applied for Indiana medicaid and also HIP...I have 3 kids a single mom...I get SSI and I cant afford to do anything..Before anyone says anything bout cutting cost in life I have already done that..A single mom finds ways real quick to cut things out of life...Like right now I need a LEEP procedure to burn away pre cancer cells in my cervix..Cant do nothing about it..All the doors have been slammed in my face due to the fact that they want $1000 up front to do anything...I've trying to find a doctor who will take payments and I may have...Its been a hell of a struggle in the last year of my life...My childern n I lost our house, we moved 6 days b4 christmas 2007,april 2008 my ex husband walked out on us only leaving us $15, may 2008 filed for divorce,august 2008 my divorce was final, september 2008 my step father of 26 years passed away, Jan 2009 I found out I may have cervical cancer,February 2009 still could get cervical cancer if I dont get ths procedure......

    I have alot of baggage in my life always have always will....The only thing I am worried about at this point in time is getting this procedure done..I cant leave my kids....I'm so SICK of hearing cervical cancer or the pre cancer is no big deal..Well in MY case it is..If not taken care of will turn into cervical cancer n yes you CAN die from cervical cancer...As far as going to a counselor for all this well you need money which I DO NOT have...Sorry to bring anyone down...Thank you for your kind words everyone...Dana

    Wow. Cancer is ALWAYS a big deal. Just because the procedures become more "routine" does not mean that it's not a big deal for the person who has it. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, Dana. I wish I knew what to say, but there are a lot of uplifting comments on this site, as I know you've seen. Just know that you're in my thoughts and in my prayers. Not just for you but for the doctors performing the procedure, that God will give them the proper knowledge and abilities to help you.
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    I have been considering telling everyone my REAL WHOLE story. I've been nervous because I haven't told anyone else, ever.

    Do I need to lose weight? No, I don't. I grew up eating healthy thanks to my mom who made us drink 2 glasses of milk a day, who always gave us fruit with lunch and filled half our plate at dinner with vegetables. As I got older and did my own research, I learned about the right carbs and the right fats, and I've always eaten...for the most part...fairly healthily.

    But I've also been borderline...right on the edge of having an eating disorder. Growing up, I danced, and I was always comparing my body to the other girls in my class. As soon as I hit puberty, I bloated up, and I didn't lost that extra 15 pounds for years. I don't think it made me overweight, but I hated the way I looked in my leotard, especially standing next to some of the other girls who seemed to me to be perfect even though I was just as good a dancer as them. I obsessed over my weight, and as I got older, it only got worse.

    when I met my husband, he made me feel so good about myself. He constantly for the entire time we were together told me how beautiful I am, inside and out. I felt like the only woman in the entire world, and for the most part, my obsession waned.

    But then last...June, I think I started sensing something was wrong even before he told me, like your pets seem to know when you're unhappy. Nothing changed until the end of June, but at the beginning, I started obsessing again. When he was away on travel (which was most of the time), I'd scarf down all of anything that was in the pantry...and then I'd either work out like a maniac or hang my head over the toilet. Then, at the end of June, he came home and told me how bored he was and how he felt like he was living a lie, and I had that gut feeling that he'd been with someone else though he denied it fiercly.

    Then I stopped eating for the most part. Not because of any disorder but because I lost my appetite. While my husband and I went back and forth, while I worried about him believing that he wasn't seeing anyone else and believing that he was going through some sort of early mid-life crisis. But when he was away, I'd buy my comfort food - a bag of sour cream and onion chips or bacon pizza (don't ask me why). And I'd eat the whole thing. And fall back into the pattern I developed back in June. I also started running...and dropped 20 pounds really quickly. I gained some of it back over Thanksgiving, but then over Christmas I found out about the affair and lost another few pounds - too much. But I have to tell you that it's addicting. You see the numbers on that scale go down, and go down some more, and more...and suddenly you're not satisfied with the 5 pounds you initially wanted to lose. Suddenly, you're greedy and want more.

    My point of all this is that even people that are not overweight have problems. The reason I joined MFP was to work on those problems and force myself to eat right...and not get rid of it after I ate it. Since I've joined, I've gained back some of the weight. I'm not healed yet. I'm still struggling. And my mother gives me a hard time about the weight I've lost and for counting calories. I'm not doing it to lose much weight, really, though I won't mind if I lose a few (I gained a few too many since joining ;-)). I'm doing it to make sure I eat...and eat properly. To hold myself accountable.

    I haven't shared this with anyone, and I'm nervous to post it here. But the people at MFP have been wonderful, and we all share the same basic issues.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    I have alot of emtional baggage that wont ever leave me, ever....I am sittin here typing this I am once eating again..I do great all day long then night comes n its like when the sun goes down I"m like an eating monster...I dont know I know this is crazy talk..I know alot of you may think I should go talk to someone but u know u need insurance and money to do that...

    I have applied for Indiana medicaid and also HIP...I have 3 kids a single mom...I get SSI and I cant afford to do anything..Before anyone says anything bout cutting cost in life I have already done that..A single mom finds ways real quick to cut things out of life...Like right now I need a LEEP procedure to burn away pre cancer cells in my cervix..Cant do nothing about it..All the doors have been slammed in my face due to the fact that they want $1000 up front to do anything...I've trying to find a doctor who will take payments and I may have...Its been a hell of a struggle in the last year of my life...My childern n I lost our house, we moved 6 days b4 christmas 2007,april 2008 my ex husband walked out on us only leaving us $15, may 2008 filed for divorce,august 2008 my divorce was final, september 2008 my step father of 26 years passed away, Jan 2009 I found out I may have cervical cancer,February 2009 still could get cervical cancer if I dont get ths procedure......

    I have alot of baggage in my life always have always will....The only thing I am worried about at this point in time is getting this procedure done..I cant leave my kids....I'm so SICK of hearing cervical cancer or the pre cancer is no big deal..Well in MY case it is..If not taken care of will turn into cervical cancer n yes you CAN die from cervical cancer...As far as going to a counselor for all this well you need money which I DO NOT have...Sorry to bring anyone down...Thank you for your kind words everyone...Dana

    Dana - you have alot going on and a lot to be proud of....you are standing up and taking care of your kids, you've made healthier choices and lost a ton of weight, you are strong and you will prevail!

    As far as the cancer-I am praying that you get the assistance that you need. I assume you've checked on government assistance. I know our county has programs for uninsured cancer patients. A friend from my church was diagnosed 3 weeks after me with breast cancer and she was able to get all of her treatments/surgeries paid for. Check with your local health dept.


    Everyone - we all have our story with lots of baggage - whether it's verbal abuse, sexual abuse, depression, eating out of joy, stress, there's unlimited amounts of stories on here but we are all here with a common bond to work towards our futures....so here's to all of us working hard and making the right choices for our health....:drinker:
  • aprilf
    aprilf Posts: 34 Member
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    I don't think this thread is about anyone particular, I think its about realizing your not alone. Your not alone in the way you view life, in the way you've experienced life, and the way you have to embrace what life has to throw at you. People on here are here to listen (read) and to help one another through life's hard spots.
  • Jelybe
    Jelybe Posts: 266 Member
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    I have been considering telling everyone my REAL WHOLE story. I've been nervous because I haven't told anyone else, ever.

    Do I need to lose weight? No, I don't. I grew up eating healthy thanks to my mom who made us drink 2 glasses of milk a day, who always gave us fruit with lunch and filled half our plate at dinner with vegetables. As I got older and did my own research, I learned about the right carbs and the right fats, and I've always eaten...for the most part...fairly healthily.

    But I've also been borderline...right on the edge of having an eating disorder. Growing up, I danced, and I was always comparing my body to the other girls in my class. As soon as I hit puberty, I bloated up, and I didn't lost that extra 15 pounds for years. I don't think it made me overweight, but I hated the way I looked in my leotard, especially standing next to some of the other girls who seemed to me to be perfect even though I was just as good a dancer as them. I obsessed over my weight, and as I got older, it only got worse.

    when I met my husband, he made me feel so good about myself. He constantly for the entire time we were together told me how beautiful I am, inside and out. I felt like the only woman in the entire world, and for the most part, my obsession waned.

    But then last...June, I think I started sensing something was wrong even before he told me, like your pets seem to know when you're unhappy. Nothing changed until the end of June, but at the beginning, I started obsessing again. When he was away on travel (which was most of the time), I'd scarf down all of anything that was in the pantry...and then I'd either work out like a maniac or hang my head over the toilet. Then, at the end of June, he came home and told me how bored he was and how he felt like he was living a lie, and I had that gut feeling that he'd been with someone else though he denied it fiercly.

    Then I stopped eating for the most part. Not because of any disorder but because I lost my appetite. While my husband and I went back and forth, while I worried about him believing that he wasn't seeing anyone else and believing that he was going through some sort of early mid-life crisis. But when he was away, I'd buy my comfort food - a bag of sour cream and onion chips or bacon pizza (don't ask me why). And I'd eat the whole thing. And fall back into the pattern I developed back in June. I also started running...and dropped 20 pounds really quickly. I gained some of it back over Thanksgiving, but then over Christmas I found out about the affair and lost another few pounds - too much. But I have to tell you that it's addicting. You see the numbers on that scale go down, and go down some more, and more...and suddenly you're not satisfied with the 5 pounds you initially wanted to lose. Suddenly, you're greedy and want more.

    My point of all this is that even people that are not overweight have problems. The reason I joined MFP was to work on those problems and force myself to eat right...and not get rid of it after I ate it. Since I've joined, I've gained back some of the weight. I'm not healed yet. I'm still struggling. And my mother gives me a hard time about the weight I've lost and for counting calories. I'm not doing it to lose much weight, really, though I won't mind if I lose a few (I gained a few too many since joining ;-)). I'm doing it to make sure I eat...and eat properly. To hold myself accountable.

    I haven't shared this with anyone, and I'm nervous to post it here. But the people at MFP have been wonderful, and we all share the same basic issues.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • lenece
    lenece Posts: 389 Member
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    I just wanted to let everyone know that I"m still kickin...I went n seen my childerns counselor today..My boys are seeing one with all the stuff that has been goin on in our lifes..I also found out both my boys have a lil bit o ADD not ADHD..They both will be starting medication sometime next week...This truely broke my heart but if this is what I have to do then so be it....I also talked to him a lil bit about me even though the appt was not for me..He told me of a drug that I can ask my dr about n is fairly cheap and will help the depression n axenity..So tomorrow I will be callin my dr and see when I can get in..I appericate all the kind words of all of you...Although this is not a drs form of thearpy this is helpin me to let things out here...If this is the only escape I have then so be it...I"m off to go to church have to get the kids ready,,I'll check in later..Dana
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709
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    I don't think this thread is about anyone particular, I think its about realizing your not alone. Your not alone in the way you view life, in the way you've experienced life, and the way you have to embrace what life has to throw at you. People on here are here to listen (read) and to help one another through life's hard spots.

    Aprilf,

    Wow! Immensely well said and well put. Hits it right on the target of what we are all trying do here on MFP. Tks Aprilf.
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
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    :drinker: :drinker:
    I don't think this thread is about anyone particular, I think its about realizing your not alone. Your not alone in the way you view life, in the way you've experienced life, and the way you have to embrace what life has to throw at you. People on here are here to listen (read) and to help one another through life's hard spots.

    Aprilf,

    Wow! Immensely well said and well put. Hits it right on the target of what we are all trying do here on MFP. Tks Aprilf.
  • donice
    donice Posts: 17
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    I agree with you, I think its more about our state of mind and what we are told or more importantly what we tell ourselves. Just being here, ready and trying to "Be Healthier" should be the goal. I don't think I was ever a size 6....maybe 6T as a toddler. :laugh: I want to lose weight but I think more important should be changing to a healthier life style and feeling better. So hang in girl!!! You are here now and trying and that is what matters!!
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    I agree with you, I think its more about our state of mind and what we are told or more importantly what we tell ourselves. Just being here, ready and trying to "Be Healthier" should be the goal. I don't think I was ever a size 6....maybe 6T as a toddler. :laugh: I want to lose weight but I think more important should be changing to a healthier life style and feeling better. So hang in girl!!! You are here now and trying and that is what matters!!
    :drinker: :wink:
  • marisol7649
    marisol7649 Posts: 484 Member
    Options
    I have been considering telling everyone my REAL WHOLE story. I've been nervous because I haven't told anyone else, ever.

    Do I need to lose weight? No, I don't. I grew up eating healthy thanks to my mom who made us drink 2 glasses of milk a day, who always gave us fruit with lunch and filled half our plate at dinner with vegetables. As I got older and did my own research, I learned about the right carbs and the right fats, and I've always eaten...for the most part...fairly healthily.

    But I've also been borderline...right on the edge of having an eating disorder. Growing up, I danced, and I was always comparing my body to the other girls in my class. As soon as I hit puberty, I bloated up, and I didn't lost that extra 15 pounds for years. I don't think it made me overweight, but I hated the way I looked in my leotard, especially standing next to some of the other girls who seemed to me to be perfect even though I was just as good a dancer as them. I obsessed over my weight, and as I got older, it only got worse.

    when I met my husband, he made me feel so good about myself. He constantly for the entire time we were together told me how beautiful I am, inside and out. I felt like the only woman in the entire world, and for the most part, my obsession waned.

    But then last...June, I think I started sensing something was wrong even before he told me, like your pets seem to know when you're unhappy. Nothing changed until the end of June, but at the beginning, I started obsessing again. When he was away on travel (which was most of the time), I'd scarf down all of anything that was in the pantry...and then I'd either work out like a maniac or hang my head over the toilet. Then, at the end of June, he came home and told me how bored he was and how he felt like he was living a lie, and I had that gut feeling that he'd been with someone else though he denied it fiercly.

    Then I stopped eating for the most part. Not because of any disorder but because I lost my appetite. While my husband and I went back and forth, while I worried about him believing that he wasn't seeing anyone else and believing that he was going through some sort of early mid-life crisis. But when he was away, I'd buy my comfort food - a bag of sour cream and onion chips or bacon pizza (don't ask me why). And I'd eat the whole thing. And fall back into the pattern I developed back in June. I also started running...and dropped 20 pounds really quickly. I gained some of it back over Thanksgiving, but then over Christmas I found out about the affair and lost another few pounds - too much. But I have to tell you that it's addicting. You see the numbers on that scale go down, and go down some more, and more...and suddenly you're not satisfied with the 5 pounds you initially wanted to lose. Suddenly, you're greedy and want more.

    My point of all this is that even people that are not overweight have problems. The reason I joined MFP was to work on those problems and force myself to eat right...and not get rid of it after I ate it. Since I've joined, I've gained back some of the weight. I'm not healed yet. I'm still struggling. And my mother gives me a hard time about the weight I've lost and for counting calories. I'm not doing it to lose much weight, really, though I won't mind if I lose a few (I gained a few too many since joining ;-)). I'm doing it to make sure I eat...and eat properly. To hold myself accountable.

    I haven't shared this with anyone, and I'm nervous to post it here. But the people at MFP have been wonderful, and we all share the same basic issues.

    I admire your courage for being so honest. :happy:
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709
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    1Corianthians13,

    Thanks for your act of courage.

    :heart: Love yourself no matter what.:heart:
  • stillkristi
    stillkristi Posts: 1,135 Member
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    :heart: Its an honor to just share in the stories everyone has to share. You are all strong, powerful women. :heart: I agree with heal4444 - I think we start healing when we learn to accept and then love ourselves for who we are.

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