What Kinda Guys do you Like?

Honest, sincere,a gentleman

This is such interesting reading...lol.

Carry on!

Wherehave you been? I hardly see you on. :frown:

I'm on every day!...and usually post too lol.

Although...often lately people keep getting my threads deleted (*cough*msblueyes*cough*)...so that could be why .

I like skinny (typically asian) yipsters (yuppies + hipsters) with thick-framed glasses. :smooched:

other aspects:
-sweet
-geeky
-liberal
-optimistic
-faithful
-well-educated and great at teaching me new information!

Hoping a few like the plain,responsible,work through life during the day type who will rock your world at night while loving you every waking moment.

What he said and you can't find those guys in the South.

Sure you can...they're actually everywhere. Most often though...they're the guys you've overlooked a dozen times already because they don't fit some preconceived notion of what you want.

No sarcasm here...just truth.

Oh, let me tell you!

I like men, not boys. Yes there is a difference, and yes it is possible for a 30 year old to be classified as a boy in my eyes, and a 17 year old to be a man.

I like someone who is going to protect me, as stereotypical as that sounds. Not only in the physical aspect, but emotionally as well. If someone trash talks me, I would want him to call them out on it, and tell them it's not cool.

I do not like violence, so I would rather have a man who speaks with his words, not his fists. BUT if the situation did ever arise that violence did need to be put in place- I would hope he was able and willing.

I like men who are intellectual, who want to learn. My current boyfriend and I will sit on skype and talk for hours about the time-space continuum, the possibility of time travel, and how the human brain works. But we can also talk about trivial things like television and movies too, that's important.

Funny is a must! If you're not funny I won't like you. Also if you don't think I'm funny I won't like. Blame it on my ego.

Supportive! I need someone who is going to back me up in all my endeavors- no matter how silly they seem at the time. Encouragement is good too- just in case I realize how silly my endeavors are! haha

Musicians and writers are preferable, but it's not a requirement I guess. But it is definitely a plus. Definitely.

As for the physical aspect, I like dark hair.
I don't know why, but as soon as I see a full head of dark curly hair on a man I am attracted. I also like olive color skin, and I prefer my guys to be more towards the slender side of the spectrum. Muscles are intimidating, and I have an alpha personality so I don't like being intimidated.

yeah

Hoping a few like the plain,responsible,work through life during the day type who will rock your world at night while loving you every waking moment.

We do love those. I married one!

Ok...I've got to say something.

All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.

But he's...a...MAN.

Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?

I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.

So what do you consider the pros and cons?

Well...that would be for you to decide. Jq really covered my point though. Women consider this type of man 'controlling' in the end...because his limits are his limits. What he will not allow, he will not allow. He will give you the world...but he expects your world in return.

The funny thing is...women do the same thing constantly, and that's ok...because they're the women. It's s catch 22, and they rarely like that shoe being on the other foot.

My girlfriend has so much control over so many aspects of my life its not funny. But guess what?...I'm ok with that. I gave her the control, can take it away if I choose, and at no point does it make me any less a man to give that up. I trust HER to not put me in a position with that control, that would compromise my morals, integrity, or, manliness. Her appreciation for that gift is the sole reason for giving it.

I fully expect the same in return...and get it...too.

Like I said, one woman...in 36yrs.

I agree, women say they want this and when they get it they're like 'uhh... no'

I am an 'alpha female' myself (I guess most people would call me a *****, but I just think i know what I want) so I would NOT be able to handle an alpha male... or more so- he wouldn't be able to handle me.

I am stubborn, bossy, a control freak, I have an obsessive need to be in charge, I have been told I "own the room" when I walk in, and I am the most opinionated girl you will ever meet. But I also am extremely empathetic, I will always listen to your problems, I will change a bad habit if my guy asks me to, and I love children and animals.

There is a huge difference between being an 'alpha' male or female, and being controlling and selfish. I'm NOT saying you are controlling/selfish at all...I'm just making a point. My girlfriend is a college educated professional, already in executive management in her late 20's. To say she owns a room when she walks in is an understatement. She most certainly has her opinions, and will share them with or without prompting. The point of all this, is it doesn't get more 'alpha-female' than that...and I love all those things about her. The thing is....there is so much more to her...all of the above qualities take a back seat. She is generous, helpful, attentive, loving, communicates with my kids on a level they comprehend, respectful, mature, yet childish...and most of all...I have zero question where her loyalties lie. Did I mention that she's beautiful? She is...physically as well as emotionally. I'm a very lucky man.

However, I don't know if you can tell by my posts...but I'm not exactly Mr. Passive. I am all the things I described above, and more. The thing is...her being who she is...is no threat to who I am. If it was...she would know it in a second, and we never would have worked out. What this means, is that she can (and does) relax around me. She has no need to control me, because she has complete faith in my ability to control myself. She respects my ability to make decisions on my own, yet knows that the level of respect I have for HER abilities gives her full voice in those decisions. Are you seeing my point? This is how two leaders work together to guide their family. This is how 'true' alpha-males and females interact. It's never about control. It's about self respect, mutual respect, and love.

The feeling I'm getting, is that most women confuse an 'alpha-male' with a controlling *kitten*. Just because he has the testosterone, doesn't mean he's going to make the right choices for you and your family. Nor does it mean he was raised well enough to respect you as you deserve, as an equal, capable human being. Think of the true hero in a story, or the true villain. Both require similar characteristics in order to fulfil their intended role.

It's the application of those characteristics that makes all the difference.

~edit - smart phone typos...suck :l.

The feeling I'm getting, is that most women confuse an 'alpha-male' with a controlling *kitten*. Just because he has the testosterone, doesn't mean he's going to make the right choices for you and your family. Nor does it mean he was raised well enough to respect you as you deserve, as an equal, capable human being. Think of the true hero in a story, or the true villain. Both require similar characteristics in order to fulfil their intended role.

It's the application of those characteristics that makes all the difference.

YES!!! Eloquently put... this is kinda what I was trying to get at when I said it was important to recognize the difference between the true Alpha-male and a Napoleon-complex.

jq2122 also did an excellent job of describing the flip-side of the coin (obviously not her case specifically) where a woman might also desire the Alpha-male/Natural-leader/"Man's man" type because she appreciates exaggerated gender-roles in a relationship; as well as it's higher risk of failure once that woman matures and comes into her own. In the end though, the Alpha-male/Natural-leader/"Man's-man" seems to work best with women who are the female equivalent of the same so it satisfies the base biological need for >some semblance< of a traditional gender-role, but it is a much more fluid and sustainable balance.

A very mentally satisfying debate/discussion/thread indeed overall! Thanks to the OP and those who participated.

I think it also bears mentioning, and I'm not entirely sure if there's an actual scientific/psychological term or reference for it, but has anyone else heard of or realized that the attributes that initially attract you to your partner and are your reasons for loving him/her seem to morph over time into their negative aspects and turn into your pet-peeves about them? Not that the person or even the actual trait changes, it's just how you as the other person could possibly alter your perception of it over time without some much needed communication, introspective and acceptance. Just a few for example:

Confidence - Cockiness
Decisiveness - Inability to Compromise
Humility - Insecurity
Relaxed - Lazy
Outgoing - Flirtatious
Private - Uncommunicative
Assertive - Overbearing
Money Smart - Cheapskate/Frugal
Passionate (causes) - Narrowminded

This list could go on and on... just wondering if others notice it, how they've come to terms with it in their current relationships, or if they've found themselves repeatedly still attracted to the original attractive aspect of the trait in subsequent relationships or if they overcompensated in subsequent relationships by looking for and trying to avoid the negative aspect of the trait. What has worked best for everyone else?