I can never stick to it, how do you?!
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When I really needed to lose weight I set a date and then I planned and paid for a vacation in the south which would mean being in a bathing suit for a week. That'll do it.
Then I got to work. I didn't hit my goal by the vacation date but I did go from a size 20 to a 12 (210 pounds to 155 in eight months,) and that looked a lot better in a bathing suit plus it put me in my healthy BMI range.
There were two steps forward and one step back all through my weight loss. It's the nature of the process. It's hard at times and at other times it's not. Just keep going. Get back at it after you have an off day.
LOG Everything, regardless. Step on the body weight scale, regardless. Write it down.10 -
First time i did Great with this I had exercise buddy's and co-workers who did stairs at breaks. I back at it again after few year hiatus due to life twisting me up and spitting me out. This time we got a new pup and I been walking her daily.... and logging my food. you have to make choice to do it.. first 2 weeks is hard after that it comes easier.3
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Great pointers so far! I find that mini-goals are the best motivators for her. Small rewards for logging regularly, each 5 lbs down, sticking to my workout plan, etc. I map them out, and finding a buddy to set up the same mini-goals to motivate each other was super helpful! Our rewards were shopping days together, movie nights, new fitness gear, makeover day, etc. It makes it easier to stay focused when I can cross things off the list! What would your first goal be? To make it to the gym? What's a good non-food motivator for a reward?
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If you have trouble committing to a plan or sticking with a plan, pick an easier plan.
Work on being patient and having realistic expectations.
For weight loss calories are king. So start out with a boringly moderate weekly weight loss goal like 1 lb, and give yourself TWO rules - log everything accurately, and stick close to your calorie goal. That's it. Then learn as you go, and add small changes that make it easier to hit your calorie goal, one at a time, when you feel up to it. Start taking walks and pick an at home strength training program.
You don't have to eat specific food, you don't have to eat on a specific schedule, you don't have to go to the gym. Stop letting people sell you on the idea that losing weight is complicated. That you have to fast, or cut out food groups, or do their workout.
Check out the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each sub-forum, lots of great info there. Good luck!9 -
Lots of good perspectives here. As you can see it's often different for each of us how we finally got it done. I think what makes it really hard for most folks is they set up unrealistic goals then beat themselves into a plan that they hate. That's why they can't stick to it. The one thing I can tell you that made a difference for me was I quit setting a date that I had to "arrive" at my goal weight. I also was satisfied with a loss of one pound a week. When I finally started looking for what I liked to do I started exercising. When I started finding lower calorie alternative foods that I liked and learned that I could eat smaller portions I started dieting. Weight loss is the result of those things. I knew I had to live with this life once I got to my goal weight so I learned what I could do permanently. Once you start seeing progress it motivates you to continue but you have to make it livable. Good luck.7
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meganmoschops wrote: »I find it really hard too. I did really well at the beginning of the year and then it was my birthday in a June and it all went a bit Pete Tong and I stopped measuring food and cut down on the exercise. BUT I am back on it now and it seems not too much damage was done which is more luck that judgement. It’s all about managing your chimp. My chip really loves a lot of cheese and chocolate and crisps and cake and eating far too much of a million other things and not doing exercise. This video really helped me understand what I am doing and why. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e6bHxhfJGIU
I like this analogy. The Chimp brain for me has always been called the lizard brain becasue it's the oldest part of the brain. The technical term is Amygdala, it's where all our emotions live.
Your starting point has to be you "why?". Why are you trying to lose weight? Is it for you, is it for an event, is it for someone else, is there a medical condition etc? The why is your motivation. If you don't have a why you just end up drifting. SO WHAT IS YOUR "WHY?".
Motivation is also a strange concept. Do you need to be motivated to get dressed every day, to brush your teeth, to do the many mundane day-to-day tasks, or do you simply do them because they need to be done?
If you can translate that into your weight loss mindset then you're sorted.4 -
As I read through this thread, I don’t see anyone who says they “flipped a switch”. Some got that switch flipped for them, but the ones who did it on their own just started somewhere and built on that. I say the best place to start is with your food diary.
Just start logging. Log every single day, every single morsel. Don’t worry if you don’t know which listings to use. It’s a learning process. Try to be better at it today than you were yesterday, aiming for perfection “some day”. Think of a baby learning to walk. So much to learn. Balance, mechanics— where to start. Also agree with the idea of doing something you like for exercise. Lifting weights is great! But not if you hate every minute of it. Swimming is great! Even better if it’s something you look forward to, enjoy doing, and feel better after. Keep an open mind to all forms of movement, not just “exercise”.6 -
If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. I just keep "restarting" until it sticks. Sometimes it takes 10-20 restarts... but evenutally it does stick. It's not "JUST DO IT" it's " JUST DON'T GIVE UP"4
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Don't start monday. Start Right Now. Right this second. Immediately start logging what you're eating and what you ate today. Plan roughly what you'll eat tomorrow.
Never mind eating healthy. For now, just log food. If you're feeling up to it, see if you can eat within a calorie limit, but even that can wait until logging becomes part of your routine.
Add new stuff slowly, like once a week or every few weeks. And don't feel like you need to change everything. I've barely changed what I eat, only how much.6 -
I hope you can discover the attitude/approach which will let you see, if you keep going as you are you will weigh more than you now or want to be in say 6 months time. If you are prepared to adapt your ways so you can build up the knowledge, "today I achieved my dietary restriction to enable me to loose", tomorrow I will endeavour to do the same, then in a month I should have achieved, then hold that thought and the day after, do your best to reach the end of the day in deficit, and repeat, and repeat, then repeat. I think there is a thread, "just for today". Each today on its own will move you into your new you. I can't promise you every day will be perfect, some will be much harder than others and some could get away from you, if this happens, start again the next day, working to keep to your deficit so off you go again, the occasional blip will not break you, giving in to two many blips too close together will. I hope this helps. Be strong, you can do this, without a happy you in your world its not much fun.1
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1. Choose what will be the least resistance/least hated/ most enjoyable exercise for you, not just whatever is "expected" or everyone else does
2. Small changes incrementally over time - don't try to change everything all at once
I absolutely HATE going to a gym. I've tried in the past and couldn't stand it. So I don't do it! I found something I didn't hate - walking - and started doing that (I'd listen to podcasts I enjoy while I walk, or play a game like Pokemon Go or Harry Potter Wizards Unite that rewards you for walking too). Some people like to dance, or ride a bike, or do indoor rock-climbing. Sounds like you enjoy swimming - that's great! Go with that! Now that I've lost a good chunk of weight and feel better with my body and have more energy I am starting to consider adding some other things to add a little strength because that sounds fun/motivating, but probably something that I could do at home. Find something that you at least don't hate and that works as easily as possible with your lifestyle or schedule so you won't skip it. Trick yourself into exercise is one way to put it - this isn't exercise, this is de-stressing :-)
For food, I made small changes. First I just started logging everything and just watching my portions of the same things I already ate to make it fit in the calorie goal. When I was having trouble staying in my goal while still staying full on that, I started to swap some items or rework the proportion of meat to veggie to starch on my plate - it took some experimentation to figure out what was satiating for me. Turned out tracking and increasing fiber did the trick for me (I had tried cutting back carbs first because I LOVE meat - but was hungry all the time on that). This seems to vary a lot person to person, so just know it might take you a few weeks to figure out what works for you. It's a process, so the biggest thing is to view it as a process not a light-switch so you don't have one off day and just quit - instead you just readjust and keep going.3 -
You've gotten some good advice in here, and hopefully you can see that there is no one-size-fits all approach. So give yourself the time to figure out what works for you. If you screw up, don't just throw it all away: use it as a learning opportunity and do some troubleshooting. For example, what was your state of mind when you went through the drive-thru after work instead of going home to make dinner? Were you just too hungry at that point? You could work an afternoon snack into your meal plan so that doesn't happen. Try that, see if it works. If not, reassess and try a different approach.
Two big things that helped me:
1) Involve other people. When I knew I wanted to start calorie tracking and getting back to the gym more regularly, I told my husband that it was a goal of mine. Not only did that give me some accountability to say it out loud, but it also set up the expectations of when I would be gone and when I was expecting him to watch our kid. Now we have a very regular weekly routine that allows time for both of us to work out, and both of us to spend time with our son. I also like going to a smaller gym with classes where the instructors know me. When I leave, I tell them "see you on Thursday!" or "I can't make Thursday's class this week, but I'll try to come on Friday." It's stating it out loud for myself, but also involving other people in that expectation. And of course you have people here if you want to add friends or get on board with one of the accountability challenges!
2) Find something that you really like about changing your lifestyle, and use that to your advantage. I love to cook. I love trying out new recipes and making things from scratch and sharing them with my friends and family. So I took the time to build some of my favorite recipes in the MFP recipe builder and accurately weigh the ingredients and final products on a food scale, so I could still enjoy some of my favorite meals as long as they were within my calories. I also dove deep on Pinterest and other sites to find new recipes. (And bonus: this made me realize that healthy meals aren't only salads and grilled chicken. My chicken enchiladas that I always considered an indulgence food and not a "diet" food come in under 500 calories/serving! That totally fits into a normal dinner portion for me, as long as I stick to that serving size and don't add too much cheese/extras). I build a meal plan each week that combines some old favorites with new recipes to keep things interesting. I have 0% temptation to stop at a drive-thru on the way home when I know what I'm having for dinner and it's something I enjoy! If cooking isn't your thing, you don't have to do it this way, but I'm sure you can find a strength or interest that will help!
And a 3rd honorable mention point: be flexible. Sure, I've got that meal plan, but that doesn't mean I can't move some things around every so often if a friend wants to go out to lunch. It's just one day, one meal, and doesn't derail everything else.9 -
There are so many great tips and ideas here for you to use. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Sometimes I get so frustrated because other people can eat crap all day long and never gain an ounce. I feel like if I see bread I gain 5 pounds. There are so many blogs, sites, diet professionals out there that it makes it so hard to know what to do. The best tip I can give is start small. Pick one goal. Like cutting down on bad carbs and learn how to work around that in your life. Then add another one, like get rid of the cream in your coffee ( I am still working on that one ) But most of all, if you falter, don't sweat it. We all falter and you just start again. Once your body starts feeling better, you just naturally become more motivated. Lastly, do what you like! I love yoga, so I do it every morning. I hate walking, but love love love my dog so she keeps me motivated to walk every day after work. I hate the gym, so I find YouTube videos to help with fun strength training I can do at home. This is a very long journey and I find myself adjusting all the time to try and make it easier on myself. I lost 50 pounds two years ago, totally plateau'd, gained 17 pounds back during a stressful time this spring/summer and have just lost 2 pounds since coming back to MFP. That 2 pounds was the greatest 2 pounds ever. Celebrate every small win because there is no failure....but a chance to learn.5
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Don't rely on willpower. Discipline is the answer. Freedom and success are outputs of discipline.
Start small - make your bed. Make a list of 5 habits that are not helpful to your goals and prioritize these 1-5. Scratch off 2-5 and focus on number 1. Identify a habit you want to adopt that will help you hit your goals and replace this "good" habit with the "bad" habit. After several weeks when this new habit is fully ingrained then repeated this process.5 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life.
In my experience... I either want to lose weight and feel better about myself, or I want to be lazy and unmotivated. For me, the 2 are at odds with each other, so I can't say something like "I want it more than anything" and then go sit on the couch in front of the TV all day... because that proves that I didn't want it more than anything... I actually wanted to be lazy more than anything, and so I was.
Self pity and stress are different... at least for me. And there's not much I can do about those things. It took me a long time to figure out my tendencies, my triggers, and my knee-jerk responses, but once I did, I was able to get better at setting myself up for success.
To be clear though...
It's not like 1 day a light bulb went on and suddenly everything was easy. Every day is a struggle, regardless of how good or bad the day before was. It will always be like that for me.4 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.
How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.
"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.
On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.
I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?
Many people have given you good practical advice above, with which I agree. So I'm going to be all squishy and psychological.
Two thoughts, one general, one specific.
The general one: Self-definition is really important. You are saying "laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over", "physically I cant stick to it", etc. (Italics added by me, BTW.)
You speak of those things as if they are unchangeable. They're not. At minimum, look for a way to turn those into "I used to not be able to physically stick to it, but I will work at it until I find a way". In your thinking, create some room for change, some expectation that you can change . . . because you can. "I always <undesired behavioral thing>" can become "I used to <undesired behavioral thing>", and you want to work it toward "I now <desired behavioral thing>". Create some conceptual room to improve yourself, to appreciate that positive choices are possible.
The more specific one: It's about "I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over . . .". I agree with jjpptt2, if you truly wanted it more than anything, you'd be doing it.
Additionally, what I'm seeing in that statement (I think) is something I also see in myself, and struggle with. It is the issue of how much my current self truly wants something, in competition with what my future self truly needs. My current self, truthfully, often wants to be lazy, and always wants to be pleasure-seeking.
Many of the things my current self wants (say, to eat the whole deep-dish pizza, plus a few beers, then go out for gelato), if indulged routinely, are not going to give my future self even a minimally adequate quality of life. Future Ann will be obese, inactive, taking multiple drugs for avoidable health conditions, that all have side effects, especially in combinations. She will need joint replacements sooner rather than later, then will recover more poorly from the surgeries. She will need to live within severe dietary restrictions (because of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, maybe diabetes, etc.) or suffer really major health consequences short run let alone long run if she eats those disallowed foods. She will have restricted mobility much younger, so not be able to go have fun at art fairs, music festivals, stadiums, or anywhere else that involves lots of walking and stairs. She will need to give up her independence and move permanently to an assisted living facility at a younger age, and will probably be sicker longer late in life, and die younger.
How do I know this? Two ways: One, I came close. At the beginning of 2015, age 59, I was obese, with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, with my doctor telling me I needed to start taking statins to reduce heart disease risk. My joints were really painful, carrying all that extra weight around with osteoarthritis. Two, I have a lot of friends my age who've gone down that negative route, and I'm seeing all those bad things play out in their lives. I also have friends my age and a decade or more older at a healthy weight who are athletically active. They have some aging-related issues, but can bounce back much faster from any surgeries, they take many fewer meds, and they routinely do much more fun stuff, and can eat a mega-indulge-y meal now and then with zero negative consequences. I want to be like that second group in a few years, not like that first group.
The writing was on the wall, all bold and clear, right in front of me. I needed to find a way to balance my current self's pleasure-seeking with my future self's health needs, or life was going to be shorter and unhappier.
But here's the good news: Figuring that out is, more generally, figuring out how to game your own preferences and habits in order to cultivate deferred gratification, to accept doing some OK but slightly less fun stuff today, for a big benefit later. And the skills involved in that transfer over into other areas of life, like (say) saving for retirement, or educating yourself for a better job by taking a class at a time over many college semesters. It's a hugely positive set of life skills, worth having.
You can do what you aspire to. You do need to make some choices. Good ideas in preceding posts about how to implement them!13 -
I had a bit of an "ah-ha" moment this week. First, some background:
A little over two years ago (may 2017), I had just finished graduate school and was unemployed for a couple of months while I looked for a job. My sister was getting married in August 2017 and I wanted to look great in my bridesmaid dress. because I had so much time on my hands, I was able to get to the gym every day, plan out all my meals, etc, no problems. I lost almost 10 lbs and even though I wasn't at my UGW I felt great. Well, after the wedding I got a job and fell off the wagon.
I've started back in earnest this month. When entering my goals into MFP (again!) And on Fitbit, I saw that my UGW of 135 (currently 175) would be reached in June of 2021 if I plan on losing half a pound per week. That feels like forever in the future! And I'm all about instant gratification. 😂
THEN it hit me. If I'd just stuck with it two years ago, I'd be at my UGW NOW. Graduate school lasted two years and that seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. Two years will pass whether I reach my goal or not. I'm 32 now, I want to finally, FINALLY, feel good in my own skin at 34 (and on the journey of course).
I've done a lot this year to work on my mental health, which has been a life long struggle for me and an impediment to weight loss, and I feel like I'm really in the right frame of mind for the first time in my life. I started practicing yoga and taking pottery classes, which both have a meditative aspect and have been enormously beneficial to my mental well being. Treating myself to a Fitbit a few weeks ago was also a great decision!
TLDR: reminding myself that time will pass whether I lose weight or not, and taking more time to really take care of myself are helping to get me in the right frame of mind to play the long game.15 -
I am thinking of my current journey as a new way of life, which means the things I am doing may not result in a 20lb loss in a month but I am not deprived, I eat and do things I enjoy, but I find ways to do it in a more healthful way. I am working on my mind just as much as my body. I am also learning (though it is a struggle in a weight oriented society) to not focus on the scale as a measure of success. I have been working out consistently for over a year for the first time in a decade, and I have seen my resting heart rate drop 20 bpm, my blood pressure normalized, my anxiety has been reduced and my overall sense of well-being has increased.
I try not to use the word diet anymore and I have unsubscribed to groups, web pages and forums that I felt promoted behaviors that was not desirable to me in the long run (like the promotion of unsustainable diet fads). I'm down 60 lbs in the last year, and I honestly have not cut a single food out of my diet. I also only do exercises I enjoy, not based on a target calorie burn but based on personal milestones and goals I set for myself.
I've been reading books on building/maintaining good habits along the way also, Atomic Habits is a good one. It is really insightful about how to desired behaviors ingrained in your daily life as a habit.3 -
It’s 99% Mental and 1% Physical. Willpower ultimately gets its *kitten* kicked by the primal part of your brain every time until you understand it’s role in your life and you learn to control it. Period. I came across this interview and website in my current weight loss journey and it has made all the difference.
https://inspirenationshow.com/inspire-651-glenn-livingston-never-binge-again/
https://www.neverbingeagain.com
Everyone’s advice above is great, but in the end, learning to understand how the different parts of your brain work and how to control the negative counterproductive thoughts is almost everything to lose the excess weight forever more!
1. Learn and understand your brain and how to control the negative counterproductive thoughts coming from the amygdala or habit or primal, or addicted portion of brain.
2. Understand that your thoughts ALWAYS create your feelings/emotions, your feelings/emotions ALWAYS drive your actions, and your actions ALWAYS create your results......
3. Develop a realistic and sustainable plan.
4. Be 100% committed to yourself,and your plan.
5. Be patient and love yourself ALWAYS. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Better than you would treat your dearest friend.
6. Fail forward quickly. Make small constant realistic and sustainable improvements to your plan.3
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