When a man cheats, is it the woman's fault?

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Replies

  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Whean a man cheats, is it the woman's fault? NO! The man was responsible for his own actions. If his wife was treating him that badly, they should have tried to work things out somehow and if they couldn't then get a divorce. There's never any excuse for cheating! I wonder, was the phrase "for better or for worse" a part of their wedding vows?
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
    Maybe she's being a complete pain and he just needs some strange.

    Ok that last one wasn't a good reason...

    LOL! Nice!!!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    It takes two people to wreck a marriage. Sounds like she wasn't a great wife, for whatever reason. Cheating is never okay.
  • obifatkanobi
    obifatkanobi Posts: 190
    The answer to both is no and no. Man or woman, it doesn't matter, we are all responsible for our own actions and can choose to do the right thing or the wrong, but the choice is ours alone. There were, are, different options available, even separation, but cheating is just that, and no matter what we cheat at, we only cheat our self in the end.
  • Xandi
    Xandi Posts: 319
    It is never anyone's fault, no one can make you cheat.
    Having been cheated on and done some cheating of my own,
    I find it is passive aggressive behavior.
    I prefer a man who can tell me what he wants, even if that is another woman.
    I prefer the ability to make my own decision.
  • CountryDevil
    CountryDevil Posts: 819 Member
    No... it's never the other person's fault. You can try to justify it, but take ownership of your actions.

    Period.

    This!!!

    There many problems that can come up in a marriage. It can be financial strain, bedroom performance, communication of just plain not getting along. But none of these justifies any reason for cheating. It does not matter who cheated, but the one that does is the one that is in the wrong. ALWAYS!!!
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
    It depends,...did she cook and clean around the house for him prior to it happening?

    NICE! LOL! I love reading all the male perspectives :laugh:
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    It depends,...did she cook and clean around the house for him prior to it happening?

    No, HE did everything! Cooked, took care of the kids, did the laundry...he catered to her every need. He gave her whatever she wanted.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    No relationship problem is ever solved by putting your p*nis in someone else. Likewise, no relationship problem is ever solved by putting yourself on another's p*nis. It's really that simple. If you can't stand the way things are - leave.:grumble:

    "It was an accident"

    Yes, I understand you accidentally fell on his erect ****.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    Leave & file for a divorce...

    Then, have copious amounts of sex with other people.

    In that order.

    Winning....LOL!
  • Dbow0207
    Dbow0207 Posts: 220 Member
    When anyone cheats Man or Woman its nobodys fault but their own. Because its all one you(the individual) who made the choice to cheat. No matter how bad things is, how you being treated, if there is no sex, etc. That does not give you or anyone else to cheat. If its that bad leave the relationship.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    In my opinion, there is no excuse, get out !
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
    IMO cheating is never justified. If you're that unhappy, get out of the relationship or have a long talk with your SO and see if the relationship is worth saving. My husband and I have been through hell. He's done some very stupid things and so have I but we both know that cheating is the one thing that would cause irreparable damage to our marriage Marriage is supposed to be built on trust, mutual respect and love, If he cheated that foundation of trust would be wiped out and I'd never be able to trust him again.

    If you don't mean the wedding vows, why get married in the first place?
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Right, 'cause people aren't responsible for their own actions........... someone else has to be!

    If someone's not being treated fairly in their relationship, they should be talking about it with their partner. Cheating is a punkas* way of (not) handling an issue. Either speak up or move on.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.
  • gloryrest
    gloryrest Posts: 47 Member
    So it's on your mind. I thought I would find something about cheating on a diet but this is real life stuff.

    So the questions are:

    1. When a man cheats, is it the woman's fault? (or vice versa)

    Cheating is a form of selfishness bottom line. There are many variables to why people cheat and they depend on each individual's reasoning. In the case you shared, possibly the woman was enjoying her "nice" husband but wasn't really hearing what he needed. In general, but not all the time, men are freaks and really find sex a high priority. I'm married and I will share with any single woman preparing for marriage, keep your man happy all the time-- telling him no will only turn him to a woman that says yes.

    2. Is cheating justified if you're not treated the way you want to be treated?

    Cheating is a form of selfishness bottom line. This condition of not being treated the way you want to be treated is so vast and immature all at the same time. By what standards is one not being treated the way they want? who can really say? There is no justification for cheating. I guess I would question, is it cheating if husband and wife agree to have an "open" relationship? also, if the husband went out on the side but remained quiet about it, is that cheating?
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    It takes two people to wreck a marriage. Sounds like she wasn't a great wife, for whatever reason. Cheating is never okay.

    yes this!
  • gloryrest
    gloryrest Posts: 47 Member

    See, that's what we all said! I felt bad for her, but what did she expect?
    Does she know how she was treating him? Most crazy b|tches don't know they are crazy b|tches!

    EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    It depends,...did she cook and clean around the house for him prior to it happening?

    No, HE did everything! Cooked, took care of the kids, did the laundry...he catered to her every need. He gave her whatever she wanted.

    Well, I think we found the problem! :smokin:
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    We are each responsible for our own actions therefore NO, it was not her fault.

    That being said, karma is a bit*h and obviously she got what was coming to her by being so mean and disrespectful to the individual who is supposed to be her partner in life.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.
    No. He should excuse himself to the bathroom every night. And some mornings.

    Just because it's not an easy choice or a choice you want to make doesn't mean it's not a choice.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.

    My mother in law is bedridden. Has been for a number of years due to MS. My father in law has NEVER gone around looking for sex with another woman. You don't have to have sex to be intimate with another person,

    For me things are black and white. You sound like you've got situational ethics. Get off the damn fence and make a decision. For better or worse means FOR BETTER OR WORSE
  • gloryrest
    gloryrest Posts: 47 Member
    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.

    Good point. But why turn a misjudgement into cheating. .lol. ..why not make a bad decision quietly to oneself and be done with it not to hurt others? lol
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member

    For better or worse means FOR BETTER OR WORSE
    I'm only correcting you because I agree with you and think it's an important point to make...

    It's not "for better OR for worse"... it's "for better AND for worse". You get both, you can't pick and choose.
  • kdouglas11
    kdouglas11 Posts: 185 Member

    See, that's what we all said! I felt bad for her, but what did she expect?
    Does she know how she was treating him? Most crazy b|tches don't know they are crazy b|tches!

    umm, i know i'm a crazy *****! :D
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.

    My mother in law is bedridden. Has been for a number of years due to MS. My father in law has NEVER gone around looking for sex with another woman. You don't have to have sex to be intimate with another person,

    For me things are black and white. You sound like you've got situational ethics. Get off the damn fence and make a decision. For better or worse means FOR BETTER OR WORSE

    I do have situational ethics. We all do. I could get into that more but it would completely derail the point of this thread. But I just wanted to say that I do have situational ethics and see nothing wrong with that.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member

    For better or worse means FOR BETTER OR WORSE
    I'm only correcting you because I agree with you and think it's an important point to make...

    It's not "for better OR for worse"... it's "for better AND for worse". You get both, you can't pick and choose.

    Glad to hear that someone agrees with me and thanks for pointing that out. My marriage vows didn't actually say for better and worse. They said "for all of our days until death parts us" That's pretty specific. No gray area there :smile:
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    IMO, if your are being treated that poorly and feeling that unappreciated then leave...cheating is not acceptable.

    As far as the justification question, think about it this way. When one of us cheats on our diet or cheats logging in our food for a day...is it the food or MFP's fault, or was it a decision we made? Think about it.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    While I agree that a man should just end things, there have been times when I agree the woman has it coming. The women who deprive their men of sex, who scream at their husbands non-stop for stupid, little things. It's not right but sometimes it's inevitable.

    Close to home, my father. My stepmom has accused him of cheating (I'm not sure if he has or not, very unlikely) but I wouldn't blame him if he had. For 20 years she has tormented me and my brother, blown family money on her child and the woman physically beats him! Unfortunately my dad doesn't have the cajones to stand up to her and just takes it. I found it kind of funny that stepmom has now accused him of cheating- probably because she is so insecure with herself.

    Yes, my only escape from my family is to have a sense of humor about them....:smokin:
  • BAMA66
    BAMA66 Posts: 240
    No... it's never the other person's fault. You can try to justify it, but take ownership of your actions.

    Period.
    I agree, the only person at fault is the one that cheats. If they are unhappy they can leave or talk about things, there is no justifying cheating.
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