My roommate situation- am I really the problem?

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Replies

  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,913 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    They talk to me bad and we are gonna throw down.

    I read this as: "They talk me to bed......."




    Not sure how you got that lol.

    the dyslexia of perks

    YOu win the forums today :D
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    I'm in the same camp as everyone else, dude's been a jerk, potentially unstable, you can't live like that, move out ASAP.

    But just to kind of try to see another POV on this...I think it sounds a little bit like you are more upset than you might be otherwise because you are (or were) expecting more of a friendship with Sam than he's willing to have. All the suggestions of hanging out, for example, could be stressful for him. I don't think it's all that fair to you though, especially when the first 8 months went so well. I think he should have at least explained to you better that he was going through some things and might not be around as much. Because it sounds like you were roommates AND friends at that earlier time.

    Another thing...some people really hate to be confronted, even when it's long overdue. I'm sort of a confrontational person when there's something really wrong and I feel like reactions are about an 80/20 split, most people are relieved that I brought things out into the open - and the rest are like crazy ticked off and lash out or become cruel. Your roommate sounds like he's in that second camp, whether because of his emotional/mental situation or not. I think it was pretty immature of him honestly to hold in everything about the shoes and dog.

    I'm so glad that there is no mention here of romantic feelings on either side. I know that's such a stereotype especially when it comes to male/female roommates (or f/f and m/m depending on how things go). But I do think that would make everything a lot worse.

    Anyway, I hate the sound of the whole arrangement and definitely couldn't deal with that long term. I hope your finances & location will allow you to find another living situation soon! I DO NOT think you are the problem here but I do think it might be worth your while to really think twice about being "close" to any future roommate(s) after how this has gone down. I can't personally relate so much because I've only ever lived with my two closest girlfriends and guys I was in relationships with or married to. But maybe it's good to be almost more like coworkers - a lot of distance between you.
  • Bridge_marie
    Bridge_marie Posts: 10,311 Member
    Run
  • denny_mac
    denny_mac Posts: 71 Member
    @denny_mac I feel like the OP needs to get your thoughts on shoes in the house

    You think you're funny.
    But you're not.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    denny_mac wrote: »
    @denny_mac I feel like the OP needs to get your thoughts on shoes in the house

    You think you're funny.
    But you're not.

    😮😮😮😮 is it really you
  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    I lived with a random roommate who ended up being an unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic. Waiting out my lease was the hardest thing ever (the complex wouldn't let me out of it without finding someone to sublease and the place was in disarray and no one was likely to take it over). Try to avoid contact as much as possible until you can get into the other duplex. If you and dog can stay out of the apartment more (hang out with friends/family) I would definitely suggest that.
  • Ws2016
    Ws2016 Posts: 431 Member
    Sounds like your roomie is depressed. Nothing you can do about that except empathy and encouragement. If I were you I would move out.
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    Move out!
  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    I lived with a random roommate who ended up being an unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic. Waiting out my lease was the hardest thing ever (the complex wouldn't let me out of it without finding someone to sublease and the place was in disarray and no one was likely to take it over). Try to avoid contact as much as possible until you can get into the other duplex. If you and dog can stay out of the apartment more (hang out with friends/family) I would definitely suggest that.

    I lives with someone with a similar condition. He also had a bit of a meth habit. He never hurt me. It was actually a fascinating experience. He believed that this Pochohantas book possessed the soul of his father. It was one of those kids books that had buttons and makes sounds. When he pressed the button he thought it was saying “help me”.A part of me misses that crazy sharehouse. I dunno what that says about me..

    It says a lot that you were open and able to deal with it. It's not easy. I liked him a lot in the begining, his quirkiness was fun until it wasn't anymore.
  • Glazed_and_Confused
    Glazed_and_Confused Posts: 1,307 Member
    I lived with a random roommate who ended up being an unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic. Waiting out my lease was the hardest thing ever (the complex wouldn't let me out of it without finding someone to sublease and the place was in disarray and no one was likely to take it over). Try to avoid contact as much as possible until you can get into the other duplex. If you and dog can stay out of the apartment more (hang out with friends/family) I would definitely suggest that.

    I lives with someone with a similar condition. He also had a bit of a meth habit. He never hurt me. It was actually a fascinating experience. He believed that this Pochohantas book possessed the soul of his father. It was one of those kids books that had buttons and makes sounds. When he pressed the button he thought it was saying “help me”.A part of me misses that crazy sharehouse. I dunno what that says about me..

    It says a lot that you were open and able to deal with it. It's not easy. I liked him a lot in the begining, his quirkiness was fun until it wasn't anymore.

    it might be an age thing bc when i was 18-22 i lived in a house where we let anyone crash there and woke up all the time to just random bodies strewn about. i had conversations until early AM out on balcony with random people we invited off the street who were clearly kinda crazy af but i was like “omg u are so fascinating!! how long have u had your imaginary dog and what’s his name?!”

    nowadays my bff comes into town and i’m like “youre gonna be in a hotel right? i don’t like seeing other people early in the morning”

    Wow that's intense, glad to hear nothing bad happened. 💚 It's definitely an interesting experience, I always liked hearing my roomie's other perspectives and stories.
  • missjck2
    missjck2 Posts: 146 Member
    Hopefully your lease is up soon if you have one. I'd move ASAP! I can understand you wanting an independent opinion but you shouldn't have to live in a hostile environment - no matter what the issues may be. Roommates are great price wise but not if its costing you mentally...
  • o0kody0o
    o0kody0o Posts: 642 Member
    If it were me, I’d try and find some place else as soon as possible. Your roommate seems to be going through some things and the fact that he told you he will “explode on you” (what a choice of words 🙈) is worrying. In a way, I can understand that he’d be a bit annoyed if you both agreed on things (shoes off etc) and you hadn’t been sticking to your agreement. However, the way he has handled the situation seems a bit immature (ignoring you, headphones on to avoid speaking, the outburst etc) You seem to be a very reasonable and understanding person but you shouldn’t be made to feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your own living space, that you pay for. Being in your situation would cause me a great deal of stress and I really couldn’t live like that. I wouldn’t bother trying to talk to him again (it sounds like that would probably suit him anyway). In the meantime, try and find a better place to stay. I know it’s easier said that done. I’d also be reluctant to leave my dog alone with the roommate, in case he “explodes”. If you don’t mind, keep us updated 😊

    Best of luck to you and your dog 🐶 🤗