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We broke up because...
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He had too many rules, I'm a rule breaker
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Her basement was too crowded0
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She made me wear a blonde wig and sing happy birthday Marilyn Monroe style... Every.Single.Day0
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She spent all her time playing video games, when she wasn't wearing a blonde wig and singing 'Happy Birthday'.0
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He thought my hair was a wig and kept trying to tug it off1
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She didn't like me pulling her hair in bed0
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Kept trying to pull my hair and I'm bald...0
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He caught me poking holes with a needle in all of his condoms which explains all his kids.0
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Caught him poking a hole in the apple pie kept in the kitchen2
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He kept talking about the "special sauce."1
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She was always sauced up.0
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He didn’t trust me with his secret sauce recipe0
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She couldn't compete with my mammas cooking. Ouch!!0
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He’s right, I’m a terrible cook 🤷♀️ 😂😭0
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She couldn't even make a frozen pizza!!0
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He didn’t like what i cooked for him ever ;(0
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I forgot our 3 month anniversary and next thing i know she had booked us for couples therapy0
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He thought it was couples therapy, but it was secretly an all inclusive trip to Barbados...0
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spent all our money on booking a vacation. house paymentalways late now we are in forclosure0
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Chose her dog over me0
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I kicked her rat out of bed0
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He kept talking about his banana0
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I couldn't keep up with her running!0
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runnergirl0721 wrote: »He kept talking about his banana
Banana = life0 -
His life was bananas!!1
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She loved everything about me and even wanted to start a perfume line inspired by my morning breath. I was embarrassed.0
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Awww She was being way too nice. I grew suspicious lol0
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Suspicious of everything0
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She was covered in piercings and spooning led to a lot of bruising
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Every time we had a disagreement he threatened to call the police and say that I gave him those bruises 😟0
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