Your relationship with food
Replies
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I actually had a fairly healthy relationship with food as a kid - I ate when I needed to, stopped when I wasn't hungry anymore, was very active and energetic. I had favourite foods that I enjoyed, but I wasn't obsessed with food.
I messed that relationship up in my teenage years - I naturally gained a bit of weight as I hit puberty, didn't like it, starved myself (i.e. under-ate consistently) for a year, lost an excessive amount of weight, ended up severely underweight and miserable, tried to regain a little bit of weight healthily, had extreme hunger hit me hard, ended up stuck in a binge-restrict cycle until I was overweight.
In a year, I managed to gently lose the excess weight by "intuitive eating" - no more restricting, binging, no more excess anything, listening to my hunger/fullness cues - ended up back at the weight I was originally in my teen years (a nice, healthy weight) and stabilised there for over the past two years.
I'm only on MFP to try and lose a small amount of vanity weight, but I'm not obsessive about logging. If there's anything I've learned, it's that my natural, innate relationship with food is fine, and I shouldn't fight it too much.
In terms of the discussion of eating for enjoyment vs. eating for fuel - I'd chip in and vouch for the "eating for enjoyment" side, but I think there's an important distinction to be made between between enjoying and appreciating good food as a part of a happy life, and becoming emotionally dependent on food to fill a void. I love the taste and smell of freshly baked bread, the creaminess of good chocolate, the softness and sweetness of cinnamon buns, the intense flavour of oven-roast vegetables in lots of olive oil - but I have a natural limit to how much I want to eat of each of those, and stop eating when I don't want anymore, as eating excessive amounts does not make me feel good. I can't imagine viewing food as merely "fuel" and not appreciating and savouring particularly good food as a part of my life. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that works for you.7 -
My relationship with food for most of my life was healthy in my opinion. I maintained a weight around the low end of BMI while eating to satiety and including treats every now and then. This lasted until I had to go on an antipsychotic medication which in turn skyrocketed my appetite. Now I feel as though I am constantly thinking about food and what I will eat next which I understand is unhealthy but I do not know how to overcome it. I believe the fact that I have been able to lose 68 lbs so far and am nearing my goal shows that I am still capable of controlling myself. I am hopeful that when I reach my goal and enter into maintenance that the extra 400-500 calories a day will help with appeasing my appetite.
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So the person who just views food as fuel, just eats when they have to .. is considered to have a bad outlook on food. But people using food as comfort that’s ok, you don’t see the dangerous slope in that.
Can someone make that make sense.
People who view food just as fuel are usually the ones who are able to eat in moderation and know when to stop. So....?
Because extremes on either end are not usually sustainable. Eating is an enjoyable act. Trying to strip that aspect from food, and just viewing it as your body's gasoline, means that you are fighting against our inherent desire to satisfy our taste buds. That sounds exhausting to me to do on a constant basis, and it's unnessary. A person can still enjoy food and moderate their intake to successfully lose weight. They don't have to choose between enjoyment and weight loss. But a lot of time that false choice is presented as the only options.
So many people go into weight loss thinking they have to eat only "good" or "healthy" foods, rather than just eat a proper amount of calories. And that leads to high failure rates, because they are denying themselves the things they like, which can lead to bingeing and falling off the wagon.
Ok as long as you know, not everyone who eats just enough to fuel their body are extremists. And when someone eats that way, it doesn’t mean they are fuelling with foods they don’t enjoy and it’s not exhausting when that’s your norm, when that’s how you grew up eating. Not everyone equates eating with having a good time, not everyone’s life revolves around food.
I just find it odd how you automatically described someone eating that way as a negative thing. Or why it had to fall into the extremist category as if it’s an eating disorder or something.
Right on, specially the bolded part.6 -
I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
The definition is in the name.
Also read the thread, that should help.
Also you’re being pedantic. 🙄
In a relationship, I talk to the other person (or bicycle when I'm out on a long ride). For me, talking is an aspect of a relationship. I don't talk to my food. Do you?
In a relationship, I care enough about the other person that I'd likely protect the person in some way if trouble came their way and if I could. For me, caring and protecting is an aspect of a relationship. I don't protect my food. Do you?
Perhaps it would help some if they stopped thinking of food as a family member????
A relationship is how you connect with an OBJECT or person. So it's not like my pizza for dinner is my Uncle Charlie.
Way to pick apart a simple question. 13 -
Definitely poor
At my worst, I was binging and purging daily as a teenager. I loved to overeat snack food, but would hate myself after it and punish myself by purging. I even used Lent season as a cover-up for my unhealthy eating habits by saying I was "giving up carbs" and continued it so family and friends would stop asking why I wasn't eating or why I was losing weight. Then I'd be alone in my room and eat a gallon of ice cream and then run a shower and purge it back out. The purging has mostly stopped (I'll occasionally just eat too much that my body naturally rejects it) but I still fall into binge sessions sometimes. Usually if one thing tips me off, like eating cheese fries, I'll just keep going with more fried food the rest of the night, especially if out at a bar.
It's not fun at all. I gained 80lbs from 2009 to 2017 as I stopped focusing on exercising, stopped purging, and drank more beer than any person should ever drink daily. But I've lost ~60lbs since. Fortunately I have a supportive husband who helps me through it all and can sometimes help me avoid falling into another binge session.
My biggest wish is to be the kind of person that considers food to be fuel rather than comfort.5 -
I think the unhealthy part of my relationship with food is that I use it to celebrate and to a lesser extent, to cope with stress and anxiety. When I was younger, I did both of these things a lot more than I do now that I recognize it and work to avoid it.
Growing up, the worst habits instilled in me were some form of dessert after every lunch and dinner, and going out for meals way too often. I was always overweight after about age 7 and obese by my teens.5 -
Quite simply, food isn't just fuel and it's folly to think you can view it as such.
Anyone who tells you that they just treat food as fuel for their body and they're not subsisting on a puree nutrient paste is kidding themselves.8 -
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I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
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I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
I grew up with a similar parents ... not over-fed but reasonably healthy diet, yet being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. So now I eat only foods I enjoy in some way, and for me that's mostly about texture.
I have trouble eating solid foods on really long rides so I ended up fuelling a number of my long rides with Ensure Plus which I, fortunately, don't mind and which provided me with enough calories and nutrients to get me through the ride. On my first 1200K, I used 13 cans of Ensure Plus at nearly 400 calories per can. I did manage to supplement that with a couple pieces of french toast early in the ride, and a couple sandwiches later in the ride but that was about all the solid food I could handle. Thank goodness for the Ensure Plus!!2 -
I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
I grew up with a similar parents ... not over-fed but reasonably healthy diet, yet being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. So now I eat only foods I enjoy in some way, and for me that's mostly about texture.
I have trouble eating solid foods on really long rides so I ended up fuelling a number of my long rides with Ensure Plus which I, fortunately, don't mind and which provided me with enough calories and nutrients to get me through the ride. On my first 1200K, I used 13 cans of Ensure Plus at nearly 400 calories per can. I did manage to supplement that with a couple pieces of french toast early in the ride, and a couple sandwiches later in the ride but that was about all the solid food I could handle. Thank goodness for the Ensure Plus!!
Interesting how different fuelling strategies/needs are. My stomach feels nauseous if I try to ride long purely on liquids so although I get the majority of my cycling fuel from my drink I feel much better if I have some malt loaf or cereal bar every hour.
The following year's event I dived into the bacon and egg roll and was quite surprised it didn't have any negative impact despite the big climbs of the day coming up fairly soon. Clearly I have a peasant's constitution.
The epic battles with my parents over peas, cauliflower and a few other items put me off them for life.4 -
I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
I grew up with a similar parents ... not over-fed but reasonably healthy diet, yet being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. So now I eat only foods I enjoy in some way, and for me that's mostly about texture.
I have trouble eating solid foods on really long rides so I ended up fuelling a number of my long rides with Ensure Plus which I, fortunately, don't mind and which provided me with enough calories and nutrients to get me through the ride. On my first 1200K, I used 13 cans of Ensure Plus at nearly 400 calories per can. I did manage to supplement that with a couple pieces of french toast early in the ride, and a couple sandwiches later in the ride but that was about all the solid food I could handle. Thank goodness for the Ensure Plus!!
Interesting how different fuelling strategies/needs are. My stomach feels nauseous if I try to ride long purely on liquids so although I get the majority of my cycling fuel from my drink I feel much better if I have some malt loaf or cereal bar every hour.
The following year's event I dived into the bacon and egg roll and was quite surprised it didn't have any negative impact despite the big climbs of the day coming up fairly soon. Clearly I have a peasant's constitution.
The epic battles with my parents over peas, cauliflower and a few other items put me off them for life.
After several years of tolerating only liquid nutrition on long rides, I discovered that I could handle solid food for a while (12+ hours) if I started eating right away and had a bite of whatever it was every 15 minutes or so through the ride. So I got a bento bag for my top tube and put oatmeal raisin cookies and salted almonds in it, and my handlebar bag is set up in such a way that I can reach in while riding so I've been known to ride with a bag of potato chips in there.
But there usually comes a point on the long, long rides where my digestive system has enough of solid food and I've got to switch over to liquid, which can be complicated ... carrying drink powders etc.
I envy those who can hoover down massive breakfasts etc.!!
My epic battles were usually over meat ... especially steak. I haven't touched steak since some time in my teens.2 -
Hi @reenieHJ I wasn't sure I would respond to this thread but I respect you sharing your throughts so I'll put myself out there.....
I too had a problematic relationship with food that began in childhood and was how I coped with a volatile home/family environment. I started binging before age 7 and understood it as bad and shameful even at that age. I became overweight as a child and struggled with this into my teens and adulthood.
Over the past year I have worked with a therapist to help me understand and shift how I think about my body and food (and other things in my life). This mental battle has been the thing that has made the most difference in being consistent and seeing results. My past attempts to lose weight were always based on shame and negative self image. Finally now in my 40s I am approaching my life with compassion for myself which includes compassion for my old self using food to cope or numb myself from feeling.
We can't go back and change our childhoods or past behaviors but we can develop new skills and tools to move forward!
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Then you're seeking an acceptable level of pleasure from your food. If it's just fuel then why does texture matter? Why do we have taste buds?
Of course food provides the energy and nutrients needed to sustain life but to dismiss it as nothing but fuel is just plain disingenuous. Pretending that you derive no pleasure or enjoyment from food isn't realistic.10 -
Then you're seeking an acceptable level of pleasure from your food. If it's just fuel then why does texture matter? Why do we have taste buds?
Of course food provides the energy and nutrients needed to sustain life but to dismiss it as nothing but fuel is just plain disingenuous. Pretending that you derive no pleasure or enjoyment from food isn't realistic.
It has to be palatable or I won't eat it.
Acceptable texture means that I can swallow it without gagging. If it were like the fat on meat, like slimy rubbery mushrooms, or like tapioca pudding, it wouldn't go down.
I eat basically the same thing 5 days a week. It provides me with the energy I need and has an acceptable texture. I consider that food as fuel.
I do eat food for pleasure once in a while, like when I make chocolate lava cake for my birthday, but it's not an every day or every week thing.
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So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.13 -
So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...8 -
I enjoy food, otherwise I wouldn't be in my yo-yo dieting mindset. It's never been simply fuel for me. But that's not to say I enjoy everything I eat. Sometimes I eat things just for the simple reason I know they're healthy and will fit into my calorie allowance for the day. I don't hate the food I eat or else I wouldn't eat it. But then, I honestly cannot think of any food I hate(some I refuse to try though). Let's face it, if I could choose chocolate lava cake or celery....hmm, which one would I choose? Lol 3
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Let's face it, we wouldn't all be here if we didn't have some kind of relationship with food! Everything humans do revolves around food or drink in one form or another. Fuel yes, but also great pleasure!7
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While I enjoy food I've never felt the compulsion to eat til too full, apart from say Christmas or the odd meal out. I have to admit it does mean I don't understand the concept of binge eating which I see so many people struggle with - I guess that means I have a good relationship with food!?
My weight gain happened over years and years due to slipping little snacks in just for the sake of it, rather than actually needing them combined with not doing any/much exercise. Once I realized weight loss was about CI/CO, applied that, got to goal and haven't looked back.
I'm still using the app because it keeps me focused on remaining at goal plus I enjoy browsing the forums.
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So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
I'm not sure anyone said they need to thouroughly enjoy EVERYTHING they eat either.
I wouldn't say that about myself - my cereal before work is ok but nothing thouroughly enjoyable, just routine nice enough. Same with the midmorning muesli bar to tide me over till lunch.
But yes I enjoy eating and I like food - some foods and occasions more enjoyable and more special than others.
But even everyday dinner - yes I want to enjoy it, not just have a palatable texture of nutrition and calories.
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paperpudding wrote: »So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
I'm not sure anyone said they need to thouroughly enjoy EVERYTHING they eat either.
I wouldn't say that about myself - my cereal before work is ok but nothing thouroughly enjoyable, just routine nice enough. Same with the midmorning muesli bar to tide me over till lunch.
But yes I enjoy eating and I like food - some foods and occasions more enjoyable and more special than others.
But even everyday dinner - yes I want to enjoy it, not just have a palatable texture of nutrition and calories.
And that's great! For you and for many others here.
For me, it's not possible.6 -
paperpudding wrote: »So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
I'm not sure anyone said they need to thouroughly enjoy EVERYTHING they eat either.
I wouldn't say that about myself - my cereal before work is ok but nothing thouroughly enjoyable, just routine nice enough. Same with the midmorning muesli bar to tide me over till lunch.
But yes I enjoy eating and I like food - some foods and occasions more enjoyable and more special than others.
But even everyday dinner - yes I want to enjoy it, not just have a palatable texture of nutrition and calories.
And that's great! For you and for many others here.
For me, it's not possible.
Just out of curiosity then, did you get onto MFP to lose weight? Because if you did then I do not understand how you became overweight in the first place when you "only view food as fuel".13 -
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So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
Maybe it is a matter of perspective. I don't "thoroughly" enjoy everything I eat. I mentioned upthread that I think of it as a 1 to 10 scale. I have a fairly low food priority Mon-Thurs. Flavor is not unimportant but I really want to get myself fed quick and efficiently. I also use those days to bank calories for the weekends typically.
There are even times I really hate food. Usually it is when something has not gone to plan and I am forced to improvise a meal at the last minute. That is usually when I hit the freezer for a ready-made but if I could just skip the meal easily I would.
With that said I do thoroughly enjoy some of my food. I also consider it a big part of holidays and vacations. I am planning a brunch spread for Thanksgiving this year and I will be cooking most of it.5 -
Why are you on MFP if you only see food as fuel? Surely it must be massively easy to eat exactly the correct amount of great nutrients and you wouldn't need any help with either bulking/cutting/whatever?
Me - I love food - good quality ingredients, well cooked/prepared. Bloody lovely.6 -
etherealanwar wrote: »paperpudding wrote: »So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
I'm not sure anyone said they need to thouroughly enjoy EVERYTHING they eat either.
I wouldn't say that about myself - my cereal before work is ok but nothing thouroughly enjoyable, just routine nice enough. Same with the midmorning muesli bar to tide me over till lunch.
But yes I enjoy eating and I like food - some foods and occasions more enjoyable and more special than others.
But even everyday dinner - yes I want to enjoy it, not just have a palatable texture of nutrition and calories.
And that's great! For you and for many others here.
For me, it's not possible.
Just out of curiosity then, did you get onto MFP to lose weight? Because if you did then I do not understand how you became overweight in the first place when you "only view food as fuel".
Even though I view food mostly as fuel, I still get hungry. Food makes my stomach stop growling and hurting.
I've also never said that I "only view food as fuel". I don't know where you got that idea!!
But I have been slender to borderline underweight most of my life.
I have, however, gained weight at certain times of my life when there's a combination of illness and moving house. Both reduce the amount of exercise I do which means I need to adjust the amount I eat which can take some juggling, and both take the focus off tracking calorie amounts. In addition, illness means that I end up eating whatever sits well through the illness (for example, I might drink fruit juice, which I don't normally do). And moving house means that I end up eating that half box of cereal in the back of the cupboard for dinner because I don't want to pack it ... or takeaway because it's easier.
MFP is a good calorie tracking resource and also a decent exercise tracking resource. For the past couple years I've been using it to track exercise more than calories.6 -
I went on Lamotrigine last year and my food tastes and quirks are completely different now. Sometimes even the smell of meat can make me nauseous, I have olfactory hallucinations (sometimes nutmeg, burning matches or flowers) and my taste preferences can change from week to week.
I ritualise eating, have a particular quirk about cutlery (has to be quality with no rough edges) and MUST go for a wee before I eat.
Yeah my relationship with food is kinda weird, but hey no biggie for me... actually it makes me laugh sometimes how odd it is 2 -
paperpudding wrote: »So your criteria for food is "Doesn't make me vomit"?
I won't lie, that makes me really sad for you.
From the time I was about 6 years old, I wanted a pill I could take rather than having to eat. Most of the time. Chocolate lava cake on my birthday is an exception.
I just don't understand the need to thoroughly enjoy everything I eat. As long as it gives me the calories and nutrients I need, has a palatable texture, and sits well ...
I enjoy other aspects of life like being active, being out in nature, further education ...
I'm not sure anyone said they need to thouroughly enjoy EVERYTHING they eat either.
I wouldn't say that about myself - my cereal before work is ok but nothing thouroughly enjoyable, just routine nice enough. Same with the midmorning muesli bar to tide me over till lunch.
But yes I enjoy eating and I like food - some foods and occasions more enjoyable and more special than others.
But even everyday dinner - yes I want to enjoy it, not just have a palatable texture of nutrition and calories.
And that's great! For you and for many others here.
For me, it's not possible.
For the two that disagreed with my comment, what are you disagreeing with? 3
This discussion has been closed.
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