Your relationship with food
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greenolivetree wrote: »I was a picky eater (okay, I still am). Started skipping meals or going a day without eating when I was 12 (to lose weight that I did not need to lose). First gained weight in my 20s and gained/lost large amounts (50-80lbs) 3 times now in 18 years. I love sweets way too much and eat so much. I don't care much about real food/meals. When I gain weight it's super fast (I gained 50lbs in 3 months while engaged). I also find it surprisingly easy to just stop eating and skip meals. I do not have a normal relationship with food and doubt I ever will. I'm in my late 30s now.
I can relate to this. While my yo-yo-ing hasn’t been as extreme as described above, this rings very true for me too. I’ve always had a dodgey relationship with food. Been in and out of therapy for it. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically. One day I wish to master moderation for the long term.4 -
I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄11 -
I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
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I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
The definition is in the name.
Also read the thread, that should help.
Also you’re being pedantic. 🙄13 -
I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
The definition is in the name.
Also read the thread, that should help.
Also you’re being pedantic. 🙄
In a relationship, I talk to the other person (or bicycle when I'm out on a long ride). For me, talking is an aspect of a relationship. I don't talk to my food. Do you?
In a relationship, I care enough about the other person that I'd likely protect the person in some way if trouble came their way and if I could. For me, caring and protecting is an aspect of a relationship. I don't protect my food. Do you?
Perhaps it would help some if they stopped thinking of food as a family member????9 -
Never had an issue seeing food as anything more than body fuel. In fact, people have made unnecessary comments about the fact that I apparently don't 'enjoy' what I eat because I eat solely for nutrition and not taste (not true but hey ho).7
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I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
The definition is in the name.
Also read the thread, that should help.
Also you’re being pedantic. 🙄
In a relationship, I talk to the other person (or bicycle when I'm out on a long ride). For me, talking is an aspect of a relationship. I don't talk to my food. Do you?
In a relationship, I care enough about the other person that I'd likely protect the person in some way if trouble came their way and if I could. For me, caring and protecting is an aspect of a relationship. I don't protect my food. Do you?
Perhaps it would help some if they stopped thinking of food as a family member????
Perhaps it would help you if you stopped having such an overly pedantic and restrictive definition of words. And didn't insult every other contributor to the thread at the same time as derailing it.17 -
Never had an issue seeing food as anything more than body fuel. In fact, people have made unnecessary comments about the fact that I apparently don't 'enjoy' what I eat because I eat solely for nutrition and not taste (not true but hey ho).
I'm very much this way and pretty much always have been. I enjoy some food, of course, but I've thought of food as calories/fuel since I was 16 or 17 years old. 5 -
I think that one thing to remember as we discuss this topic is that not everyone experiences food on the same level. Experiencing food involves a *combination* of the senses and not everyone senses everything the same way or with the same aptitude. My sister, on the autism spectrum, is a super-taster. I can tell by the smell of my milk, whether or not it's gone bad. My sister and grandmother can tell WHAT THE COW ATE the day before it was milked. My husband brings me things to smell FOR HIM, because he can't smell at all. My husband will happily eat whatever I put in front of him, and eats to fuel himself. My sister comes off as *extremely picky* because she gets so much sensory input about everything. Her favorite foods are very bland to me, but I understand why she likes them. She picks out nuance where I do not.
Plus, there are already plenty of studies on the books indicating that the ability to even smell things like cyanide and whether or not cilantro tastes like soap to you are genetic.
It's not surprising that people have very different relationships and ways of thinking about their food. It's how they choose to handle these necessary things and why they made those choices that are interesting.13 -
I eat to live, and I don't live to eat.
Yes, for me food is fuel but I try to eat good, nutritional, and what ever is for me enjoyable, but I don't overdo it. I don't binge, food doesn't make me drool, and I don't like to get stuffed. We are all different.
The above is 100% my philosophy.5 -
I actually had a fairly healthy relationship with food as a kid - I ate when I needed to, stopped when I wasn't hungry anymore, was very active and energetic. I had favourite foods that I enjoyed, but I wasn't obsessed with food.
I messed that relationship up in my teenage years - I naturally gained a bit of weight as I hit puberty, didn't like it, starved myself (i.e. under-ate consistently) for a year, lost an excessive amount of weight, ended up severely underweight and miserable, tried to regain a little bit of weight healthily, had extreme hunger hit me hard, ended up stuck in a binge-restrict cycle until I was overweight.
In a year, I managed to gently lose the excess weight by "intuitive eating" - no more restricting, binging, no more excess anything, listening to my hunger/fullness cues - ended up back at the weight I was originally in my teen years (a nice, healthy weight) and stabilised there for over the past two years.
I'm only on MFP to try and lose a small amount of vanity weight, but I'm not obsessive about logging. If there's anything I've learned, it's that my natural, innate relationship with food is fine, and I shouldn't fight it too much.
In terms of the discussion of eating for enjoyment vs. eating for fuel - I'd chip in and vouch for the "eating for enjoyment" side, but I think there's an important distinction to be made between between enjoying and appreciating good food as a part of a happy life, and becoming emotionally dependent on food to fill a void. I love the taste and smell of freshly baked bread, the creaminess of good chocolate, the softness and sweetness of cinnamon buns, the intense flavour of oven-roast vegetables in lots of olive oil - but I have a natural limit to how much I want to eat of each of those, and stop eating when I don't want anymore, as eating excessive amounts does not make me feel good. I can't imagine viewing food as merely "fuel" and not appreciating and savouring particularly good food as a part of my life. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that works for you.7 -
My relationship with food for most of my life was healthy in my opinion. I maintained a weight around the low end of BMI while eating to satiety and including treats every now and then. This lasted until I had to go on an antipsychotic medication which in turn skyrocketed my appetite. Now I feel as though I am constantly thinking about food and what I will eat next which I understand is unhealthy but I do not know how to overcome it. I believe the fact that I have been able to lose 68 lbs so far and am nearing my goal shows that I am still capable of controlling myself. I am hopeful that when I reach my goal and enter into maintenance that the extra 400-500 calories a day will help with appeasing my appetite.
5 -
So the person who just views food as fuel, just eats when they have to .. is considered to have a bad outlook on food. But people using food as comfort that’s ok, you don’t see the dangerous slope in that.
Can someone make that make sense.
People who view food just as fuel are usually the ones who are able to eat in moderation and know when to stop. So....?
Because extremes on either end are not usually sustainable. Eating is an enjoyable act. Trying to strip that aspect from food, and just viewing it as your body's gasoline, means that you are fighting against our inherent desire to satisfy our taste buds. That sounds exhausting to me to do on a constant basis, and it's unnessary. A person can still enjoy food and moderate their intake to successfully lose weight. They don't have to choose between enjoyment and weight loss. But a lot of time that false choice is presented as the only options.
So many people go into weight loss thinking they have to eat only "good" or "healthy" foods, rather than just eat a proper amount of calories. And that leads to high failure rates, because they are denying themselves the things they like, which can lead to bingeing and falling off the wagon.
Ok as long as you know, not everyone who eats just enough to fuel their body are extremists. And when someone eats that way, it doesn’t mean they are fuelling with foods they don’t enjoy and it’s not exhausting when that’s your norm, when that’s how you grew up eating. Not everyone equates eating with having a good time, not everyone’s life revolves around food.
I just find it odd how you automatically described someone eating that way as a negative thing. Or why it had to fall into the extremist category as if it’s an eating disorder or something.
Right on, specially the bolded part.6 -
I don't have a relationship with food.
I have a relationship with my husband, my parents, my brother ... possibly also with my bicycles ... but not food.
Food is just food. I have preferences in terms of texture and flavour, but eating is mainly a fuel thing.
What exactly is a relationship with food?
🙄🙄🙄
I'm not sure what that means, but I do know it doesn't answer the question: What exactly is a relationship with food?
The definition is in the name.
Also read the thread, that should help.
Also you’re being pedantic. 🙄
In a relationship, I talk to the other person (or bicycle when I'm out on a long ride). For me, talking is an aspect of a relationship. I don't talk to my food. Do you?
In a relationship, I care enough about the other person that I'd likely protect the person in some way if trouble came their way and if I could. For me, caring and protecting is an aspect of a relationship. I don't protect my food. Do you?
Perhaps it would help some if they stopped thinking of food as a family member????
A relationship is how you connect with an OBJECT or person. So it's not like my pizza for dinner is my Uncle Charlie.
Way to pick apart a simple question. 13 -
Definitely poor
At my worst, I was binging and purging daily as a teenager. I loved to overeat snack food, but would hate myself after it and punish myself by purging. I even used Lent season as a cover-up for my unhealthy eating habits by saying I was "giving up carbs" and continued it so family and friends would stop asking why I wasn't eating or why I was losing weight. Then I'd be alone in my room and eat a gallon of ice cream and then run a shower and purge it back out. The purging has mostly stopped (I'll occasionally just eat too much that my body naturally rejects it) but I still fall into binge sessions sometimes. Usually if one thing tips me off, like eating cheese fries, I'll just keep going with more fried food the rest of the night, especially if out at a bar.
It's not fun at all. I gained 80lbs from 2009 to 2017 as I stopped focusing on exercising, stopped purging, and drank more beer than any person should ever drink daily. But I've lost ~60lbs since. Fortunately I have a supportive husband who helps me through it all and can sometimes help me avoid falling into another binge session.
My biggest wish is to be the kind of person that considers food to be fuel rather than comfort.5 -
I think the unhealthy part of my relationship with food is that I use it to celebrate and to a lesser extent, to cope with stress and anxiety. When I was younger, I did both of these things a lot more than I do now that I recognize it and work to avoid it.
Growing up, the worst habits instilled in me were some form of dessert after every lunch and dinner, and going out for meals way too often. I was always overweight after about age 7 and obese by my teens.5 -
Quite simply, food isn't just fuel and it's folly to think you can view it as such.
Anyone who tells you that they just treat food as fuel for their body and they're not subsisting on a puree nutrient paste is kidding themselves.8 -
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I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
4 -
I don't regard food purely as fuel and nutrition - it's always also been a source of pleasure too. I enjoy good tasty food and social events are often centered around enjoying good food and good company.
The only time I regard primarily as fuel are when I'm doing long bicycle rides and my diet changes to support my performance. But even then there's space for enjoying my food. I'll choose a breakfast cereal I enjoy, I'll eat malt loaf - its still fuel for that day's ride but food I also enjoy. The sports drink I mix up could be regarded as purely fuel as it's not something I would drink otherwise.
I did experiment with fuelling a 200k ride purely on carb gels for maximal performance but it made the event miserable and challenging instead of enjoyable and challenging. For me it wasn't worth avoiding the provided egg & bacon roll mid morning, tasty homemade cakes at tea time purely to shave off a few minutes.
My parents grew up during wartime rationing and in poor families so food was seen by them through the prsim of food being scarce and not to be wasted. I was expected to clear my plate and it led to a lot of conflict over being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. We weren't over-fed, we didn't have an unhealthy diet.
I grew up with a similar parents ... not over-fed but reasonably healthy diet, yet being expected to eat food I didn't enjoy. So now I eat only foods I enjoy in some way, and for me that's mostly about texture.
I have trouble eating solid foods on really long rides so I ended up fuelling a number of my long rides with Ensure Plus which I, fortunately, don't mind and which provided me with enough calories and nutrients to get me through the ride. On my first 1200K, I used 13 cans of Ensure Plus at nearly 400 calories per can. I did manage to supplement that with a couple pieces of french toast early in the ride, and a couple sandwiches later in the ride but that was about all the solid food I could handle. Thank goodness for the Ensure Plus!!2
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