When a man cheats, is it the woman's fault?

The OP's question is totally unfair and unreasonable - it's NEVER that clear cut. It takes two people to make a marriage work. In the situation given, neither party did all they could to keep their marriage together.

While the female friend in this case didn't "cause" her husband to cheat, she certainly set him up for it -- kinda like knocking him senseless and leaving him on the tracks in front of an oncoming train. She drove a nice guy to the breaking point. That being said, I don't think anyone in this conversation knows how he actually treated HER in private. Does she treat other friends and family as disrespectfully? If not, there could be issues here we know nothing about.

The man in this case, needed to gather together enough self respect to get out of a bad situation and walk away with his integrity.

IMHO two people took a vow here and two people broke it.

No; it's not the other persons fault. No matter the circumstances there is no justification for cheating. If we aren't happy in our relationship the it's time to leave then move on to another. No one makes us do or feel anything, it's our acceptance of the behavior or treatment by others. We only hurt ourselves & only we can make ourselves truly happy. We are responsible for our own behavior!

I understand where people are coming from when they say to end the relationship before sleeping with someone else, but it isn't always that easy. I completely believe that cheating can be justifiable sometimes, it just depends on the situation.

My last relationship was with an alcoholic who sometimes could be the most loving and sweet man in the world and on the other side was a controlling abusive ****. And while yes, I probably should have ended the relationship long before I actually did. But it is never easy to leave an abusive relationship (and honestly if it hadn't been for him going to jail and me getting a restraining order on him, I'd probably still be with him). However I also cheated on him, several times. Yes I should have left him first, but I couldn't leave him at that time in my life. I cheated for a variety of reasons. I cheated just because it was nice to have a guy treat me right sometimes, I cheated because it was the only thing I could do to hurt him as bad as he hurt me, I cheated because I hoped that whoever I cheated with would 'save me' from the situation. Do I think that he deserved to be cheated on, yes I do.

However that was one of the very few non-open relationships that I have ever had and I definitely wouldn't be in a 'monogamous' relationship again. Every 'monogamous' relationship I have been in was terrible and every open relationship I've been in has been great.

No. It was his fault for not confronting their issues as opposed to hopping into bed with someone else.

If you are not happy-either sort it out or leave. NO EXCUSES for cheating. I hate it.

maybe a woman is physically unable to have sex and he still loves her deeply but has needs.

and this would be the woman's fault?

There is NO excuse for cheating. If it isnt working..END IT! It is not only disrespectful and hurtful, but in an can be unsafe(un-protected sex). It's never anyones fault in particular, some people are hardwired to cheat

i think it's silly to assign blame for something like that. she did some crappy things, he did some crappy things, it ended. unless i'm hired as their divorce attorney, it's not really up to me to decide

also, you do realize that sometimes women cheat, and sometimes men don't wanna have sex, right? you gave a specific example, but your thread title suggests that when men cheat, their partner MUST be doing something wrong.

I'll go out on a limb here.

I think when there is cheating in a relationship both are at fault. I used to work as a dance teacher and saw lots of cheating with couples. The relationships were disfunctional from both sides. And further in my experience I have only seen one or two times that one spouse was cheating on the other. In the vast majority of cases both were cheating on each other. The one who got caught first was the one blamed.

I try not to judge it just is what it is. People who make thier relationships a priority and treat each other well usually don't have problems.