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Thin Privilege or Lifestyle Consequences
Replies
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tbright1965 wrote: »
But he also admits he never experienced any of the drawbacks of being really heavy. I guess because I have I am less inclined to go on a rant about it. I was never mocked for exercise (at least to my face) but I have personally experienced all of the rest and now that I have lost most of the weight I need to lose it is certainly a privilege to no longer face them. I hope I never forget what this level of freedom feels like.
The thing that bothered me was that because he found his solution he is quick to judge people that have not yet and more specifically those who exceeded his top weight.
Is he judging those who haven't found the solution, or is he judging those who, when presented with the facts of their circumstance, put their heads into the sand and say it's not true? I believe it's the latter, those who are sticking their fingers in their ears and saying, I'm healthy this way...
From my perspective, I see people who ignore the science as little different from those who are anti-vaccine.
I see it not as judging the ignorant who don't know, but as judging the choice to ignore the science and engage in non-productive thinking. Judging the choice to REMAIN ignorant despite the facts. Totally different.
Now that I have my solution (I assume since I am not quite done yet) I do fight the urge to feel stupid for how long I carried way too much weight but I certainly do all I can to avoid judging others that have not yet. I hate to tell him but if you can gain 40 or 50 pounds too much with more time and the right circumstances you can gain a whole lot more. He might feel superior because he didn't let it get as far out of hand as I did but we have lived different lives.
It is easy when you know. It is hard when you are still guessing and you believe the wrong things.
I guess the question is how can people not know in a day and age when the sum of human knowledge is literally in your hands?
One must work to remain ignorant in this information age.
Why not work to get the information and act upon it, if you are going to work?
There's a key problem in that the sum of misinformation/disinformation is also in your hands. Without specialized training, which is lacking in the common curriculum, one lacks the ability to distinguish between what is fact and what is false. To complicate this there exists a philosophy that rejects the existence of objective facts.
This site alone is littered with posts of frustration on how to manage successfully. Inevitably it does come back to personal responsibility. It cannot be avoided.12 -
tbright1965 wrote: »
But he also admits he never experienced any of the drawbacks of being really heavy. I guess because I have I am less inclined to go on a rant about it. I was never mocked for exercise (at least to my face) but I have personally experienced all of the rest and now that I have lost most of the weight I need to lose it is certainly a privilege to no longer face them. I hope I never forget what this level of freedom feels like.
The thing that bothered me was that because he found his solution he is quick to judge people that have not yet and more specifically those who exceeded his top weight.
Is he judging those who haven't found the solution, or is he judging those who, when presented with the facts of their circumstance, put their heads into the sand and say it's not true? I believe it's the latter, those who are sticking their fingers in their ears and saying, I'm healthy this way...
From my perspective, I see people who ignore the science as little different from those who are anti-vaccine.
I see it not as judging the ignorant who don't know, but as judging the choice to ignore the science and engage in non-productive thinking. Judging the choice to REMAIN ignorant despite the facts. Totally different.
Now that I have my solution (I assume since I am not quite done yet) I do fight the urge to feel stupid for how long I carried way too much weight but I certainly do all I can to avoid judging others that have not yet. I hate to tell him but if you can gain 40 or 50 pounds too much with more time and the right circumstances you can gain a whole lot more. He might feel superior because he didn't let it get as far out of hand as I did but we have lived different lives.
It is easy when you know. It is hard when you are still guessing and you believe the wrong things.
I guess the question is how can people not know in a day and age when the sum of human knowledge is literally in your hands?
One must work to remain ignorant in this information age.
Why not work to get the information and act upon it, if you are going to work?
How many people do you know that can't fit in a restaurant booth actually believe they are healthy that way? While I believe there are probably some that exist I think yelling at the minority is a waste of time. Better to try and help the majority who actually do not believe it but might feel stuck.
The problem with all that knowledge being at your fingertips is that humans can know a lot of things that are false but that won't keep them from spreading it. There are websites that say just about everything and some of it is directly opposite from another. Many people post messages about how the more they researched something the more confused they became.
There is also the issue of the billion dollar diet machine out there and various entities scrambling for market share. From keto to leaky guts there is some pretty convincing looking websites unless you really dig into it.
I am not saying any of this as an excuse but to say it should be immediately obvious what each person should do to lose weight is not accurate.
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YouTube offered me this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPiLFakIUCM&t=107s
He's a lot calmer.
I lost interest after 2 minutes.1 -
Just watched like half the video...
I'm not saying he's right or wrong, but I will say he sounds like a self righteous DB11 -
tbright1965 wrote: »
But he also admits he never experienced any of the drawbacks of being really heavy. I guess because I have I am less inclined to go on a rant about it. I was never mocked for exercise (at least to my face) but I have personally experienced all of the rest and now that I have lost most of the weight I need to lose it is certainly a privilege to no longer face them. I hope I never forget what this level of freedom feels like.
The thing that bothered me was that because he found his solution he is quick to judge people that have not yet and more specifically those who exceeded his top weight.
Is he judging those who haven't found the solution, or is he judging those who, when presented with the facts of their circumstance, put their heads into the sand and say it's not true? I believe it's the latter, those who are sticking their fingers in their ears and saying, I'm healthy this way...
From my perspective, I see people who ignore the science as little different from those who are anti-vaccine.
I see it not as judging the ignorant who don't know, but as judging the choice to ignore the science and engage in non-productive thinking. Judging the choice to REMAIN ignorant despite the facts. Totally different.
Now that I have my solution (I assume since I am not quite done yet) I do fight the urge to feel stupid for how long I carried way too much weight but I certainly do all I can to avoid judging others that have not yet. I hate to tell him but if you can gain 40 or 50 pounds too much with more time and the right circumstances you can gain a whole lot more. He might feel superior because he didn't let it get as far out of hand as I did but we have lived different lives.
It is easy when you know. It is hard when you are still guessing and you believe the wrong things.
I guess the question is how can people not know in a day and age when the sum of human knowledge is literally in your hands?
One must work to remain ignorant in this information age.
Why not work to get the information and act upon it, if you are going to work?
How many people do you know that can't fit in a restaurant booth actually believe they are healthy that way? While I believe there are probably some that exist I think yelling at the minority is a waste of time. Better to try and help the majority who actually do not believe it but might feel stuck.
The problem with all that knowledge being at your fingertips is that humans can know a lot of things that are false but that won't keep them from spreading it. There are websites that say just about everything and some of it is directly opposite from another. Many people post messages about how the more they researched something the more confused they became.
There is also the issue of the billion dollar diet machine out there and various entities scrambling for market share. From keto to leaky guts there is some pretty convincing looking websites unless you really dig into it.
I am not saying any of this as an excuse but to say it should be immediately obvious what each person should do to lose weight is not accurate.
Yeah, all of this.
I've lost weight twice in my life. The first time was at 33 when I'd gained about 50 lbs as a result of becoming less active, drinking too much, and having a stressful job where eating at work (you could order from a bunch of nice restaurants if you worked late enough and I always did) and travel (meaning restaurant eating) was all common. Before then, I'd assumed I was a person who could just not think about it and stay about the same normal (not thin or overweight) weight, since I always had. I also never had really learned to cook, in school I mostly ate at the dining hall, and when I ate at home after finishing school I'd mostly do things like packaged beans and rice with some added cheese and veg (I've never been someone to avoid veg).
Once I figured out how to lose it was easy, but before I did that I felt super out of control. I was much more upset about the aesthetics of being overweight than the health issues, but of course I knew it wasn't healthy and I hated myself for being fat, although I also felt like it was just my fate. At some point I decided I had to change things and thankfully for me also decided that my approach was to (a) learn about nutrition and cooking, and (b) to be as healthy as possible, even if I couldn't lose (which I was sure would be the case). I was not actually as healthy as possible (I continued drinking excessively), but I switched my diet to a pretty nutrient dense one, cut cals, got really active (started doing running races and then tris), and got down to the lowest weight of my adult life and maintained that about 6 years. I basically made fitness a hobby, and that my work was in a less stressful phase when I was able to start this, and that I later made a job change that led to much less stress and misery at my job was not a coincidence. Over and over I've found that I struggle with weight gain and can't get my mind to focus on losing when the rest of my life is the most stressful -- if I have good habits already I can get through it, but it's hard to start and would be more so if I had to learn everything I did initially (and I'm someone in research and evidence evaluation as a job -- it would be far harder if I were not, and if I did not have a lot of confidence in my ability to figure stuff out already).
Anyway, after the six years of maintenance I regained -- combination of depression plus anxiety, a super stressful period at work, and then hitting rock bottom with my drinking and deciding that I needed to focus full time on what made it easiest not to drink, even if that involved some overeating and weight gain (some of my healthy eating and exercise had become somewhat excessive and added to my anxiety, which I self-medicated with alcohol). I was lucky enough that I was always a functional alcoholic and used booze to compensate for being super strict in other areas of my life, but then when I quit drinking I basically could not keep that up, and my self-protective response was that it was better to gain weight than drink and I couldn't deal with both without losing it. So I regained. After a few years (at 44), I decided (when work was more reasonable again) to get back to losing the weight, it was too much and I couldn't stand it anymore. Lucky for me I knew I could from the prior effort and knew how, and I soon discovered MFP, which made it even easier and more fun. But I also knew I was privileged over those starting from scratch.
There were years between my regain and my loss again when I beat myself up for knowing what to do and not being able to do it. I'm not totally sure what changed (but I think it's related to the rest of my life becoming less draining) that allowed me to do what I wanted to do. So as a result of all that, I am sympathetic (and empathetic) to those who are overweight or obese and don't feel able yet to lose. Given that anyone who has been overweight was there at one time, I think it's really disgusting for people who have lost to turn around and try to shame or judge those who may well later lose, but haven't yet, who may still be in the place you or me (or the guy in the video) once were. And I also know that at times (or in certain situations) it can be much harder than others, and hardness includes the lack of will or focus, which is not actually something under our control always. At age 44 I had the will and cared enough that I prioritized it to lose 90 lbs. At age 43 I just did not, yet I was the same person.17 -
The guy in the video is annoying and all the anger seems excessive. I also think the shirt he was wearing and plugged is offensive. It’s not ok to make fun of a disability even if it was mostly caused by the person’s own choices.
BUT, I do pretty much agree with the things he’s saying. I’m not sure “thin privilege” is a thing, at least not in the way I tend to hear the word “privilege” thrown out; something you benefit from that you didn’t earn/were just born into. For example, I was born a white female. If that gives me any benefits, I didn’t do anything to earn them. However, I don’t think that’s the case for the majority of thin people. They earned that, either by working hard and losing weight or if they were always thin, doing something (purposely not overeating most of the time, staying active, etc) to stay thin. I suppose if you look at “privilege” as just a benefit you get because of whatever reason (earned or not) you could call it privilege but that’s just not how I usually see the word being used.5 -
It's not simple. I won't say that there is or isn't such a thing as thin privilege, but what I do know is that the reason that I'm only losing weight now at 46 is because my ex was deep in food addiction, and if I didn't eat with him, he'd rage at me and be furious at me for days. He wouldn't let me use the vehicle to go work out or go to yoga classes.
Interesting how when I left him and got with supportive people, my diet could instantly start working for me, hm? Current partners are fine with me saying, "You two can have cookies, but I'm not," and with me taking the car every morning and going to the gym before they wake up. They're good with me making the food that works for me, and support the idea of me having less weight to lug around. That's what has made all the difference. Now, I am hypothyroid. I suspect that when we get that settled (there's a lump. At some point someone will call and tell me when to show up to get it biopsied, and we'll go from there) I will lose more and faster. My ADHD medication also has a side effect of weight loss, and that doesn't bother me. But this is just as much an environmental issue as it is a medical one, at least for me.5 -
I was a 20-25 year old morbidly obese woman, 250lbs. No one held the door open for me, people smiled at me less even when I smiled at them, were less friendly overall. I felt judged whether I was or wasn't for what I ate. Family made comments about how I was such a pretty girl when I was younger.
I was a 25-29 year old normal weight woman, 145-125lbs. People hold the door open for me, smile at me when I smile at them, and are generally friendly. Particularly men. I feel judged when I eat salads for lunch or do not participate in work cookie/candy offerings, whether I am or not. Family and friends make comments about how I lost too much and look like I'm unhealthy now. Even explaining that at my height, I could be 108lbs and still a healthy weight.
I don't know whether the difference in how obese people are treated is thin privilege or unconscious bias, but it's real, and it's hurtful.
I don't know whether the difference in how normal weighted people are treated is obesenormative or unconscious bias, but it's real, and it's hurtful.
Acknowledging our biases and privileges and being kinder individuals and working toward a kinder society is the most noble of goals. Who cares if it's a privilege, bias, or whether obese people got themselves where they are. They're (we're) still humans who deserve dignity, healthcare, and the ability to lead a normal life. I'll never forget how it felt to be obese and not be treated with the same simple kindnesses.27 -
I don't know that I would consider most of these particular instances to be Thin Privilege but it is hard to take his arguments into serious consideration when it seems that nearly half of them were "This didn't happen to me when I was fat so it's absolutely not a thing."5
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Oh, ffs.
Are there ways in which people treat people worse if they're larger? Yes, of COURSE there are. We KNOW people can be mean, and we KNOW people can be really mean to larger people and to look down on them.
Are there also some health consequences to being really obese? I ain't a doctor but people who ARE doctors tell me there are.
Not everything had to be either/or.
Having a body that is unhealthy? SUCKS.
Being reminded of that every time you try and sit down or buy clothes or fasten a seatbelt? SUCKS.
Having other people look down on you for the shape of your body? SUCKS.6 -
All I know is there's conflicting opinions, evidence, reasons for why we have a obesity epidemic. I watch my 600 pound life as I am interested in seeing how they share their stories. Often the common thread is a history of some kind of childhood abuse. Sexual, physical, mental, neglect, ect. Or the mom or dad is an addict, the mom uses food as a reward or for comfort. I came from an abusive childhood. When I was little I would eat. My siblings would call me, fat, fatso, tub of lard, etc. The worse part was I wasn't even fat! I was just bigger than them. When I was a teenager and young adult I used alcohol and exercise and I was very thin. Then after I got over using alcohol I went back to food. I think we need to deal with the underlying issue. These fat shaming viedos are just people who have some sort of strange projection issues. Part of a healthy lifestyle includes a healthy relationship with food. I am 55 and finally getting there! Life is a struggle. God Bless!8
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Disclaimer: I like Alan Roberts and EDDF.It's as if medical and/or mental health professionals who have PhDs can't have opinions that are seperate from their practice/the practice they're working in.
I have to disagree with you on this one. I have a PhD (in chemistry) and am paid to render professional opinions. People make decisions and deploy assets based on my conclusions. I know how important facts are and how damaging unsubstantiated opinion can be.
When you are in a position where you are paid for your professional opinion (which doctors/mental health professionals definitely are too) you can't deal in anecdotal reports, they lower your credibility. Do I have opinions on things? Sure, but if I don't have the facts behind me I don't say them out loud. Even if the doctor he references was writing in good faith, she's lowering her credibility.
My husband has a PhD in Biomedical Science and agrees with you whole heartedly. Given the fact his research can and will affect those for whom he's doing the research, his opinions do not matter, only numbers based on his reporting.2 -
although i agree with this fella mostly, he is way too angry and emotional, its like he has unresolved baggage from his fat days, its like he actually believes in thin privilege.....you know like some closeted gay people are so strongly against gay people
Exactly. Those who are most guilty point the finger and yell the loudest to deflect attention elsewhere.0 -
@aokoye Absolutely. I can't believe 10 people disagreed with you. Tools.0
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This hulked up mansplainer is speedtalking (hmmm) about obese people complaining about not being able to fit between restaurant tables. Um ... you're considered obese once you hit size 14. And no one's complaining, but yes, thin privilege does exist. This dude is angry because his short, tiny girlfriend not being able to find jeans in her size and dealing with jealousy over her shape. Boohoo. Well, envy is part of being attractive and posting hateful videos on Youtube, sucka.1
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chelleedub wrote: »This hulked up mansplainer is speedtalking (hmmm) about obese people complaining about not being able to fit between restaurant tables. Um ... you're considered obese once you hit size 14. And no one's complaining, but yes, thin privilege does exist. This dude is angry because his short, tiny girlfriend not being able to find jeans in her size and dealing with jealousy over her shape. Boohoo. Well, envy is part of being attractive and posting hateful videos on Youtube, sucka.
Really?
All I could picture reading this rant.
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I read him as a new evangelist - something he had a problem with and now fixed and projecting his self disgust of his former self onto others not as "evolved" as his present self. This may start out as empathetic at first, ....[etc.].
Thank you for the bolded. I could never understand what is the switch in the brain that makes certain former "sinners" (obese, gamblers, you name it) so inhumanely aggressive towards people currently suffering from the same, and I feel you nailed it and probably a lot of the time it is disgust and loathing to their former selves.
Where I disagree is the word empathetic - this is so very much not what empathy means. Empathy towards anyone almost precludes disgust and loathing.4 -
I agree with the video. I'm a huge advocate of personal responsibility. I'm heading to YouTube to follow thus channel.
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years ago, a woman ran a red light that the other driver didn't notice and i hit her because it truly was unavoidable. i was about 180 pounds at 5'3", the woman who hit me was well dressed, slim and pretty. the lawyer my insurance company gave me said that in many cases he's been involved in, the jury, judge or other adjudicator started off with a strong better impression of the thinner person as long as they were reasonably well dressed, which mystified him since he worked only on auto accidents.
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