How do you get over people not liking you?
cyaneverfat
Posts: 527 Member
in Chit-Chat
I take it too personally, have an intense desire to know why people don't like me and most of the time can't work out why someone doesn't like me. It results in me not liking me.
Yes, me, me, me. I saw it too lol.
Yes, me, me, me. I saw it too lol.
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Replies
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How do you know they don’t like you?
If you know for sure that they don’t like you, why not just ask them?
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I've always been a people pleaser.
Whenever I feel like I've let someone down I feel disappointed in myself. It's always been important for me to think everybody likes me, or at least doesn't dislike me. 
I think I've gotten a bit better about it as I've aged; little things don't upset as much and I've realistically come to realize you can't please everybody. 
We're all different. Another thing that's helped is I realize 'to everything there is a season'. Sounds corny but some people come into our lives for mere seconds, others hours/days, etc. and some stay for the rest of our lives.
We need to feel more secure in who WE are, learn to know we're okay no matter what anyone else thinks. 10 -
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Master the art of liking yourself and really not giving a *kitten* about what others think.17
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I've always been a people pleaser. Whenever I feel like I've let someone down I feel disappointed in myself. It's always been important for me to think everybody likes me, or at least doesn't dislike me. I think I've gotten a bit better about it as I've aged; little things don't upset as much and I've realistically come to realize you can't please everybody. We're all different. Another thing that's helped is I realize 'to everything there is a season'. Sounds corny but some people come into our lives for mere seconds, others hours/days, etc. and some stay for the rest of our lives.
We need to feel more secure in who WE are, learn to know we're okay no matter what anyone else thinks.
Sounds good. I wish some people had hung around. Nothing worse than rejection from former friends.2 -
FinelyFermented wrote: »Master the art of liking yourself and really not giving a *kitten* about what others think.
How? do you have a 1 2 3 guide?1 -
We can't expect to be liked by everyone, just like we don't like everyone automatically we come across.
As I get older I care less about being liked, just wish I'd felt this way years ago!7 -
LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »We can't expect to be liked by everyone, just like we don't like everyone automatically we come across.
As I get older I care less about being liked, just wish I'd felt this way years ago!
I definately dislike some people so it's curious that I feel discomfort when others don't like me. I wish I cared less, it would have saved me a lot of grief.4 -
cyaneverfat wrote: »
God didn’t give you an elbow for no reason.
You didn’t answer my question. Are these people you have to deal with on a daily basis?
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What I do is disassociate 🤷🏻♀️ checking out is my main form of being.6
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Therapy can be helpful if that’s possible for you and something you’re open to.2
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cyaneverfat wrote: »
God didn’t give you an elbow for no reason.
You didn’t answer my question. Are these people you have to deal with on a daily basis?
Oh sorry. I didn't see the question. One person I see daily and they are terrible. The feeling is mutual though.0 -
cyaneverfat wrote: »cyaneverfat wrote: »
God didn’t give you an elbow for no reason.
You didn’t answer my question. Are these people you have to deal with on a daily basis?
Oh sorry. I didn't see the question. One person I see daily and they are terrible. The feeling is mutual though.
If it's just one person & neither of you care about each other, I'm confused, why is this an issue? What is it you have to deal with? Are you unsure how to deal with this person when you see each other because it's on a daily basis? If that's the case, just be civil (if there's eye contact, say hello, if not, walk on by) & go about your day.Therapy can be helpful if that’s possible for you and something you’re open to.
I agree with MS. You mentioned in another post that you are bi-polar bordering on Asperger's & that meds are tough, when trying to find the perfect balance. Maybe this desire to hyper-focus is due to not yet having the perfect balance? Since you need meds, I'm assuming you see a psychiatrist on the regular, since counselors/psychologists cannot prescribe meds? Is this something you can bring up with him/her?
Good luck. I know it's challenging, but I admire your desire to be your best.0 -
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I finally learned that not everything is about me and others opinions of me is none of my business. I used to be hurt when people didn't like me but these days, I just don't care. It's not worth my time to worry about what others think of me. Take me or leave me. My true friends care and that is all that counts.9
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TarryTaffy wrote: »cyaneverfat wrote: »cyaneverfat wrote: »
God didn’t give you an elbow for no reason.
You didn’t answer my question. Are these people you have to deal with on a daily basis?
Oh sorry. I didn't see the question. One person I see daily and they are terrible. The feeling is mutual though.
If it's just one person & neither of you care about each other, I'm confused, why is this an issue? What is it you have to deal with? Are you unsure how to deal with this person when you see each other because it's on a daily basis? If that's the case, just be civil (if there's eye contact, say hello, if not, walk on by) & go about your day.
It's a lot more than one person, but only one person I interact with often. It's not optional because it's family.TarryTaffy wrote: »Therapy can be helpful if that’s possible for you and something you’re open to.
You mentioned in another post that you are bi-polar bordering on Asperger's & that meds are tough, when trying to find the perfect balance.
Good luck. I know it's challenging, but I admire your desire to be your best.
When I said it was a challenge getting the right meds, I was referring to everyone with Bipolar, not just me. My current level of meds has been working for me since I got prescribed them, but they have possibly contributed to me gaining weight or struggling to lose it. That being said, a day may come when they need to be adjusted or completely changed to keep working.
And thank you.0 -
debrakgoogins wrote: »I finally learned that not everything is about me and others opinions of me is none of my business. I used to be hurt when people didn't like me but these days, I just don't care. It's not worth my time to worry about what others think of me. Take me or leave me. My true friends care and that is all that counts.
I hope I'm like you one day!0 -
I like you1
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I will try and give them an opportunity for us to resolve whatever may have caused the riff but I wont spend much time or energy on them. Some people are just miserable human beings and are only happy when they make others miserable. I just don't sweat it, they're simply not worth my time.
Instead I tend to put my focus on the people that do like me and showing them the love they deserve. Spending my time on those that deserve it not those that would not appreciate it.
Although I do still kill them with kindness, miserable people hate that!5 -
do you really want everyone liking you - think about it7
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Might I suggest:
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The trick is to feel the sting, but then shrug & move on. Resist the urge to mold yourself into what you believe might make you more palatable to others. Don’t be a dick, but be yourself, please yourself, draw to yourself the kinds of people who appreciate you as you are.
As for me
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This has never happened to me. Everyone likes me. I'm so lovable.
Now if a dog doesnt like you, that hits straight to the heart2 -
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Get some therapy. You already know it's a you problem and not a problem with everyone else and we can tell you all the things in the world to do but until you address the underlying thing that makes others approval of you so important, they're not going to help.4
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there’s always people out there who don’t like you. that’s how the world is.
but its a huge world and there’s a couple million billion people out there. guaranteed some of them will like you. and that’s not such an unhappy thought.
point being- do your best not to worry overly much and just keep an eye out for new friends every new day instead of trying to force people from yesterday5 -
Is there a way you can change your situation so you no longer have to see this person daily? Or at least keep more of a distance from them? Hard to do if you live with them or work with them but it's stressful interacting with someone every day feeling that way. Or you can do what 'they' say, kill 'em with kindness.1
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I've got no pride so here i'll lay out what I've learned after about a year of seeing a professional marriage/family counselor. #1 way to make life "happy" is to become happy individually. It's literally that simple. Expectations are the silent killer of relationships. I could talk for days on this topic these days... but in the end most of life falls in place when you work on yourself and stop worrying about the outside influences.5
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