How to talk to guys!?

cmonskinnylovee
cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
So I just realized that being in a relationship for three years has made me completely HOPELESS at attracting and speaking to men.

So I really need some help on this, because at some point in my life I'm probably going to want to talk to guy. Maybe.

I really don't want to wait around for guys to talk to me, you know? I want to be able to take the initiative too!
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Replies

  • Bumblebee26
    Bumblebee26 Posts: 118 Member
    You can say just about anything to a guy and have his attention.
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
    Meh. I wouldn't sweat it. It's not like most of them will be listening anyway. :tongue:
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
    I would try to approach a guy in a place you go often, because then right off the bat..you have something in common. Also, I would have some topic starters ready...like, where are you from? So, what do you do? etc.

    Good luck!!! I'm sure you'll do awesome though :)
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    You can say just about anything to a guy and have his attention.

    But that doesn't help my intense fear of talking to men D: I need like, a proven method or something otherwise I'll stand in the corner with my knee's knocking haha

    And these "men" that I'll be talking to are more like young adults, (18-23) so does that theory apply to them as well? lol :)
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    I don't know about the other guys here , but "I dunno.. what do you want to do?" always gets my attention.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
    Some "liquid courage" may help :)


    edit: Sorry...I just saw your age...Ignore that :)
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    It's really hard to imagine this, but we are more intelligent than we come across. You can just be yourself and have a conversation. That's it. We want a girl who is 100 percent themselves. It's that simple.
  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
    You can say just about anything to a guy and have his attention.

    But that doesn't help my intense fear of talking to men D: I need like, a proven method or something otherwise I'll stand in the corner with my knee's knocking haha

    And these "men" that I'll be talking to are more like young adults, (18-23) so does that theory apply to them as well? lol :)

    yes it applies to them too..... i mean seriously..... whats the worst thing that they can say.... no? well mabe there are some other things they can say too, but i doubt it....
  • Raynamama
    Raynamama Posts: 480 Member
    It's really hard to imagine this, but we are more intelligent than we come across. You can just be yourself and have a conversation. That's it. We want a girl who is 100 percent themselves. It's that simple.

    Well said :)
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    It's really hard to imagine this, but we are more intelligent than we come across. You can just be yourself and have a conversation. That's it. We want a girl who is 100 percent themselves. It's that simple.

    Just because you're intelligent doesn't mean you're not terrifying to try and talk to! haha

    I guess I just need help working on my self confidence hahaha
  • jb83
    jb83 Posts: 38
    I've found that over the years the shyness (fear?) subsides. I'm guessing this fear isn't just about talking to men??? May it also be bosses at work or professors at school? The best thing to do is to work on feeling more confident about who you are as a person.... and this will become easier for you! In the mean time, remember that you are JUST TALKING! If the guy is worth ANYTHING he will do his best to make you feel at ease... that'll be a usefull tool for you when deciding if he is compatible!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I just try to pretend they are people and talk to them like that.
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
    confidence
    sense of humor
    eye contact

    that's all you need!
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    I just try to pretend they are people and talk to them like that.

    lol this is funny, although that's not what I meant
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    It's really hard to imagine this, but we are more intelligent than we come across. You can just be yourself and have a conversation. That's it. We want a girl who is 100 percent themselves. It's that simple.

    Just because you're intelligent doesn't mean you're not terrifying to try and talk to! haha

    I guess I just need help working on my self confidence hahaha

    Self confidence is good, but don't focus on that for the reason holding you back on guys. Focus on being YOU. If you are yourself, that alone will make you more attractive and you will find it easier to talk to him because you won't be worried about things as much, because you are who you are.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    In all likelihood, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that for bears?
    Just be yourself.
  • bcatalano89
    bcatalano89 Posts: 29
    i know how you feel i was in a relationship for over 2 1/2 years and when it ended I was extremely rusty in the talking to men department. i have found that just being yourself and acting calm and casual works pretty well. it was a little nerve racking at first but it subsides after a while... Good Luck!!!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I honestly can`t imagine how it would be difficult to talk to a guy.
    Just treat him nice and be a friend.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    just be yourself, and ask questions. guys like it when you ask about them.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Just tell them you make really good sammichs
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Can't go wrong if you lead in with a sandwich.
  • neva4saken
    neva4saken Posts: 300 Member
    first all that men are dumb and don't know what they want and they do not pay attention to women .. put that out of your head because that is not most men, that is just most men that the people who say that have dated .. the best advice I could give is observe the guy first, study and learn his interest most men will do that anyway on the sneak about a woman they are interested in, woman just do realize it .. be yourself and having confidence will get a man's attention gone are the days where the trophy wife is all a man wants, if we cannot have a good conversation and i know you can speak for yourself and handle yourself that is what interests me ..
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
    In all likelihood, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that for bears?
    Just be yourself.

    Are you saying you're afraid of me SGM??? BOOOOOO..you better run..:wink:
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    In all likelihood, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that for bears?
    Just be yourself.

    Are you saying you're afraid of me SGM??? BOOOOOO..you better run..:wink:
    [/quote

    Any man that says he isn't afraid of women is either a damn fool or a damn liar.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    Do all guys intimidate u or just ones you think r above u?
    Go after guys that are just under your level - and practice on them.

    Work ur way up the ladder as ladder theory permits.

    For more info on ladder theory check out this link.

    http://www.laddertheory.com/
  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
    In all likelihood, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that for bears?
    Just be yourself.

    Are you saying you're afraid of me SGM??? BOOOOOO..you better run..:wink:

    Any man that says he isn't afraid of women is either a damn fool or a damn liar.

    im with him.... i am totally terrified to talk to women...
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    In all likelihood, they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or is that for bears?
    Just be yourself.

    Are you saying you're afraid of me SGM??? BOOOOOO..you better run..:wink:

    Any man that says he isn't afraid of women is either a damn fool or a damn liar.

    THANK YOU.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Do all guys intimidate u or just ones you think r above u?
    Go after guys that are just under your level - and practice on them.

    Work ur way up the ladder as ladder theory permits.

    For more info on ladder theory check out this link.

    http://www.laddertheory.com/

    I don't think anyone is "above" or "below" me, I am afraid of any guy I find attractive.
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    Smile at them, bat your eyelashes. They will come running.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    Ur oblivious.

    If an ugly fat guy came up to u - is he fair game then?
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