What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.11 -
aethelwulf77 wrote: »That you WILL have days when you go wildly over your calorie goal, and you WILL be ok with it because it's one day in a huge calendar of days - like a drop of water in an Olympic pool.
This has been my biggest struggle - getting down on myself when I have that extra slice of pizza, or snack indiscriminately on some game days. I'd lose sight that the next morning (or that very day) I was still up at 4AM to run or hit the gym and feel like I derailed myself. These words help, thank you!!
I'm glad that resonated. It is SO true. I had way too many bagels yesterday. But today is not yesterday! It happens, and it's ok. If it helps, look at the week at the end and you may see it's all lost in the wash of all the other data. You gotta live man!9 -
Lots of positive things on here! Here's a negative!
For me, losing 25lbs and not looking any skinnier. Maybe even looking fatter.
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I didn't realize that shifting my attitude towards food would make me see how many unhealthy attitudes we have in our society.15
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tauntonmom wrote: »newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing but I would not consider someone's bottom to be a "private part", which to me means someone's genitals.4 -
I'm sure it's been mentioned before on here, but nobody had ever told me that in losing weight, one can look totally different (in a negative way) at the same weight as "before" (such as major milestones -- high school weight, pre-special-event weight, etc.).
Logically, I understand it, as my body composition is different. Lots more skin, fat is probably distributed differently, might be a difference in total muscle/muscle size... but Oh. My. Goodness. It is such a frustrating point to be at the approximate weight of when I graduated high school over 20 years ago and being nowhere close to fitting those clothes yet (I still have a small collection stored away).
Also, regardless of how objective/logical one might be, and regardless of whether you "understand" (mentally) the progress made, dysmorphia/"fat days" are still very much able to plague anyone. I'm nearly 70 pounds down, yet don't see differences some days unless I look at comparative body scans. Even then I'm still struggling to accept the progress made some days. The numbers are all there (measurements/weight/clothing size changes/etc.), but some days it just doesn't make a difference.22 -
tauntonmom wrote: »newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing but I would not consider someone's bottom to be a "private part", which to me means someone's genitals.
I teach kids and special needs adults that "private parts" are any area that is covered by a swimsuit. That means any shorts area on a male or a bikini top or bottom for women.15 -
MelodiousMermaid wrote: »I'm sure it's been mentioned before on here, but nobody had ever told me that in losing weight, one can look totally different (in a negative way) at the same weight as "before" (such as major milestones -- high school weight, pre-special-event weight, etc.).
Logically, I understand it, as my body composition is different. Lots more skin, fat is probably distributed differently, might be a difference in total muscle/muscle size... but Oh. My. Goodness. It is such a frustrating point to be at the approximate weight of when I graduated high school over 20 years ago and being nowhere close to fitting those clothes yet (I still have a small collection stored away).
Also, regardless of how objective/logical one might be, and regardless of whether you "understand" (mentally) the progress made, dysmorphia/"fat days" are still very much able to plague anyone. I'm nearly 70 pounds down, yet don't see differences some days unless I look at comparative body scans. Even then I'm still struggling to accept the progress made some days. The numbers are all there (measurements/weight/clothing size changes/etc.), but some days it just doesn't make a difference.
I'll tell people that I've never felt as fat as I did when I was binge eating, even though I never even got close to my highest weight during that time. So much of it is in the brain, and our activities around our body rather than the actual body size.11 -
tauntonmom wrote: »newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing but I would not consider someone's bottom to be a "private part", which to me means someone's genitals.
Hypothetical scenario:
You are at a social work event.
An attractive person walks by.
You remark: "wow, fantastic _______"
Fill in the blank with whatever: smile, hair arms, bottom, boobs.
Unbeknownst to you, your boss is in earshot.
Your boss says: "that's my 16 year old son/daughter."
Was your boss smiling or angry?
Any regrets in what you said?
Turn the scenario around a bit, you find out your 16 year old got a similar remark from their boss at their after school job. How upset are you to hear about the remark?
(Edited to remove accidental double quote)23 -
VictorSmashes wrote: »Lots of positive things on here! Here's a negative!
For me, losing 25lbs and not looking any skinnier. Maybe even looking fatter.
This happened to me as well. I lost weight from my belly last, so everything around it got smaller and it just emphasized the part I hated the most. I started to look fatter before I finally started losing from my belly. I believe I lost 2-3 inches off my butt, hips, and chest before I lost more than a half inch off my waist.11 -
@tauntonmom, that is the best lesson on how to know whether a behavior is appropriate or not that I have ever seen.
Now let's get back to weight loss.18 -
The confidence boost!!
I’m only 7lbs down with 24lbs more to go but can already see a drastic change.
I use to be so insecure but the past 3.5 weeks I’ve started focusing on myself and getting healthy and my confidence has just grown tremendously!19 -
tauntonmom wrote: »tauntonmom wrote: »newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing but I would not consider someone's bottom to be a "private part", which to me means someone's genitals.
Hypothetical scenario:
You are at a social work event.
An attractive person walks by.
You remark: "wow, fantastic _______"
Fill in the blank with whatever: smile, hair arms, bottom, boobs.
Unbeknownst to you, your boss is in earshot.
Your boss says: "that's my 16 year old son/daughter."
Was your boss smiling or angry?
Any regrets in what you said?
Turn the scenario around a bit, you find out your 16 year old got a similar remark from their boss at their after school job. How upset are you to hear about the remark?
(Edited to remove accidental double quote)
At work it is probably best to keep your opinions on someone's looks to yourself. Also when talking about someone's daughter it might be better not to refer to her breasts or bum especially if you are a bloke, but a bottom is still not a "private part" where I come from. :-)
But Americans perhaps have different ideas about 'sex' to us Brits I think, as can be seen in movies. USA films are stuffed full of violence which can be a problem here, but show a nipple or bum cheek and America goes nuts while no one in the UK would blink an eye.
Not a criticism, just an observation.10 -
What is this thread about again?16
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But the title though....2 -
SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »What is this thread about again?
I'm not trying to derail the thread 🙂.
Someone who had lost weight got a comment about a body part that they weren't used to getting comments about. They felt both flattered and uncomfortable. Was the comment appropriate? Was the discomfort more due to them not being used to anybody noticing them, the comment a socially acceptable way for someone they don't really know to acknowledge their weight loss?
It seemed a legit "what nobody tells you about losing weight" experience and discussion to me.12 -
5 years and 491 pages later, I guarantee this thread has wandered a bit in the process. Don't sweat it.tauntonmom wrote: »SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »What is this thread about again?
I'm not trying to derail the thread 🙂.
Someone who had lost weight got a comment about a body part that they weren't used to getting comments about. They felt both flattered and uncomfortable. Was the comment appropriate? Was the discomfort more due to them not being used to anybody noticing them, the comment a socially acceptable way for someone they don't really know to acknowledge their weight loss?
It seemed a legit "what nobody tells you about losing weight" experience and discussion to me.17 -
tauntonmom wrote: »tauntonmom wrote: »newlife0516 wrote: »The sexual harassment 😂. I had a lady tell me how my butt looked good. I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
This is such a common female experience, it's interesting to see a man post it. Thank you for sharing.
Question - and I ask it with a due respect intended - how is commenting on the butt as a body feature worse than saying your arms look great or - your new hair style is beautiful
Parents have to teach toddlers about keeping their "private parts" private and to tell us whenever someone violates that privacy (even when they are told not to tell anyone).
Arms and heads/hair were never on the list of "private parts". Butts were.
Perhaps it is a cultural thing but I would not consider someone's bottom to be a "private part", which to me means someone's genitals.
Hypothetical scenario:
You are at a social work event.
An attractive person walks by.
You remark: "wow, fantastic _______"
Fill in the blank with whatever: smile, hair arms, bottom, boobs.
Unbeknownst to you, your boss is in earshot.
Your boss says: "that's my 16 year old son/daughter."
Was your boss smiling or angry?
Any regrets in what you said?
Turn the scenario around a bit, you find out your 16 year old got a similar remark from their boss at their after school job. How upset are you to hear about the remark?
(Edited to remove accidental double quote)
At work it is probably best to keep your opinions on someone's looks to yourself. Also when talking about someone's daughter it might be better not to refer to her breasts or bum especially if you are a bloke, but a bottom is still not a "private part" where I come from. :-)
[Snip]
At work, yes, but I only used the boss in the hypothetical scenario to inject the "what if I got caught saying this by someone whose reaction could impact me" possibility. If I wouldn't want my spouse/minister/child/neighbor whoever to overhear me speaking that way, maybe i should keep the thought to myself.
When talking about someone's daughter, it's good to remember that every woman [person] is someone's daughter [child] and deserves to be treated with respect whether or not their parent is present.
I will concede that cultural norms can vary in ways that can surprise the unsuspecting travelling adult 😲.
In the context of teaching "private parts" to a child or disabled adult, the "parts that are covered by a swimsuit" (including the bum) works very well.
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Nobody tells you that one day you'll have so much success losing weight, you'll go online and post about it in a forum dedicated to just that--which eventually gets derailed into a bunch of subjective bologna
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VictorSmashes wrote: »Lots of positive things on here! Here's a negative!
For me, losing 25lbs and not looking any skinnier. Maybe even looking fatter.
Yes. I had to lose about 50lbs before it was noticeable.12 -
That you will be able to scratch your back (you'll be able to get/scratch EVERY area of your back)...WITHOUT a back scratcher.
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That you will be able to scratch your back (you'll be able to get/scratch EVERY area of your back)...WITHOUT a back scratcher.
Along those lines - being able to interlace your fingers behind your back! I can do that now, and find myself stretching my back more. Feels great!20 -
I'm only about 7lbs down with a long way to go yet (about another 35lbs, give or take- we'll see how it goes!), and I never would have thought I'd be posting in here so soon, but:
Nobody told me that I'd be having a blast. That eating at a deficit would feel basically fine, and that I'd be having a ton of fun incorporating all different forms of exercise into my life, learning new skills, and meeting loads of lovely new people as I go. My life has gotten fuller and more fun in a way that I never would have guessed would happen 35 -
BeGrandLike wrote: »Nobody told me that I'd be having a blast. That eating at a deficit would feel basically fine, and that I'd be having a ton of fun incorporating all different forms of exercise into my life, learning new skills, and meeting loads of lovely new people as I go. My life has gotten fuller and more fun in a way that I never would have guessed would happen
Yes! This. I’m only 4 weeks in and I’m just happier and enjoying life.
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also WAIT A SEC. I have no idea how I didn't notice this but: I said above that I'm only about 7lbs down..
...but I just checked my main page there and, no, I'm 9lbs down! Or in other words, I am eyein' up getting into double-figures of loss and there is no way it'll escape me for more than another week
(Also, if anyone wants to know how to get that Friday feeling on a rainy Thursday, I think I've cracked it!)24 -
My cat will help me lose weight...by falling asleep on my lap so I can't get up and get food. She is so cute.35
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It's hard not to talk about loosing weight because it affects me daily. However, not everyone wants to hear about it or is even happy for me. Luckily I do have some friends that are genuinely happy with my successes but I am sure even they are getting tired of hearing about it.19
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readmerant wrote: »It's hard not to talk about loosing weight because it affects me daily. However, not everyone wants to hear about it or is even happy for me. Luckily I do have some friends that are genuinely happy with my successes but I am sure even they are getting tired of hearing about it.
I was the same way but I did eventually get it out of my system enough to where I could talk about other things, lol. Being on the forums helps a lot.20 -
This has happened to me.RelCanonical wrote: »My cat will help me lose weight...by falling asleep on my lap so I can't get up and get food. She is so cute.6
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