Women 200lb+, Let's Stay Fired Up This February!!!

Halfway through February!

Welcome all newcomers! This group has really been growing by leaps and bounds!

@cupcakecrusoe and @sharpdust – Happy anniversaries! Enjoy yourselves for your special days!

@bidingmytime – great strategy, starting slow. That’s how I restarted, too. Change one or two things, then after 3-4 days to a week, add more. Before you know it, the first changes you made are habits you hardly ever think about! I am also as detail oriented. I don’t like the tracking tools in MFP so I log my daily weight in Excel. And if you don’t eat a tremendous variety of different foods, logging in MFP is so easy.

@lbostic89 – so nice to have a measuring assistant! When I measure, I try to make sure that I’m measuring in the same place each time but it’s hard to be objective. It’s so important to have the alternative ways of measuring progress.

@aliciap016 – Loved the ice-skating picture! Next to your profile picture, I can see the difference in your face and I know your profile picture is fairly recent! You’re definitely making progress. Have fun skiing!

@theleadmare – sorry about the house. Hopefully the inventory in your area is good and another, better home will be coming your way soon!

@tarzan37 – I don’t know if the amount of snow you’re getting is normal this year, but that’s a lot of shoveling. Have been very lucky around here. We’ve gotten a lot of rain, but almost no snow this year. I’m not complaining!

@torihudson6 – way to go sticking with the early AM kickboxing! So happy you are seeing results. I truly get more satisfaction out of being able to do more in my workouts than any feedback I get on the scale. Once the workout momentum kicks in, I think you’ll see it too, and it’s so motivating.

Crying happy tears for @pamiede for the 100 pounds lost and @lilann1961 for the lovely comment from her husband on Valentine’s Day!

Height: 5' 6"
SW (09/08/2019): 239.2 lbs
February SW (2/1/20): 192.0 lbs
2/2/20: 189.8 lbs
2/9/20: 187.6 lbs
2/16/20: 184.0 lbs
February GW: 186 lbs
GW: 150 lbs (then reconsider)

My goals for February are:

• Cardio for 45-60 min, 5-6 times a week, 3 of the sessions Couch-to-5K workouts – check. This was the last week I was planning on doing week 4 intervals. But see below...may need to scrap C25K.
• Increase walking distance to 8.5 miles for one workout a week – Check. I planned to walk 7.5 miles last week, but inadvertently ended up walking 8.5 miles. My knees were in some pain at the end of the walk, but thankfully resolved overnight. So I’ll plan on walking 8.5 miles one day a week for the rest of February, perhaps bumping up a bit the last week if I feel like I’m crushing it.
• Core exercises at least 3 times a week – check.
• Take better care of my skin in hopes it will start to regain its shape. – Doing OK here, but my skin is still hard to look at.

Achieved a milestone I was not expecting so I didn’t include it at the beginning of the month: I passed from the “Obese” into “Overweight” on the BMI chart. I know that BMI is a crap measurement standard, and maybe all it represents for me is an artificial goal. That’s why my goal is 150, then will reconsider. I’ve never weighed below about 175 pounds since my mid-20s when I had lost a lot of weight, and that was after a surgery when I dropped a quick 10 pounds due post-surgical issues. I have no idea what I will look like at 150 pounds. Already, when I tell people I have about 40 more pounds to lose, I get a lot of skeptical looks. The “mom” in our group looked so concerned when I said it that I talked to her separately and told her that I was still clinically obese or overweight, and because I’m carrying a lot of the extra weight in my abdomen my waist-to-hip ratio is pretty awful.

Still, I’m anticipating a slowdown in the rate of weight loss any minute now. I really did think it might start to slow this month, hence the 186-pound goal. I think once I start running regularly instead of following the C25K intervals, it will slow. C25K is essentially a HIIT workout.

Now for the reason I need to rethink couch to 5K: I went out yesterday to do my last “C25K Week 4” long run. It was 16 degrees when I set out. My phone battery did not last long, and without the cues for walking and running, I decided to just run for as long as I could then take walking breaks and start running again when I felt somewhat recovered. My distance yesterday was about 7 miles total. My phone died after I had walked/run about 2.5 miles. I ended up running the rest of the distance, slowly.

I knew I was “5K ready,” despite being only at week 4. I didn’t realize I was “5 mile ready” for running. Which is a good thing, as I am hoping to run a 10-mile race in two and a half months. So, I think the C25K intervals might suit my treadmill workouts, but I’ve got to be looking to do something else for the “long” runs.

I have been working out every day, usually in the morning. I do this in order to stick to my goal of working out 5-6 times a week. We’ve been lucky here in Philly to be having a mild winter. But bad weather and colds strike at any time! Plus there’s a guy who’s been eyeing me at the gym, and I hope I’ve been giving him the eye back and he realizes it! Happy about that, because I haven’t been feeling it for almost a year after getting out of a horrendous situation.

Everyone have a great week!

@browsugar174 "When did I first start to love myself?" Such a great question.

A couple of things to mention: @CupcakeCrusoe, one of my cousins posted a text response she received from a person she apparently was looking to date. It was something along the lines of "I don't treat fat people as if they're human." I mean it was really blunt and awful. My cousin is very overweight with a healthy body image. (Nearly all my cousins on this side of my family are in the 300- to high 400-pound range.) All I could say was that she is better off without someone like that. There are worse things in this world than being heavy, and if someone can't hang in for that then good luck finding them hanging out when more serious *kitten* gets real. (But I do wish she and my other cousins would lose weight because: see family issues below.)

To begin answering the question, I first need to say that as a nurse I've seen lots of people living long, poor quality lives due to being overweight. We can extend people's lives, but without the quality that makes it worthwhile to live that long.

So while I do think the hard-core self-hate after being subjected to horrible bullying most of my childhood has been slowly going away over time, I think the events of nearly a year ago really did it for me, like turning on a light switch.

When my Dad was sick in the hospital last year, I had to fight for his life when he couldn't or wouldn't do it for himself. (There were other family things happening at the time which also slightly influenced my thinking, but my dad's illness was the main factor.) And I mean that quite literally. There was a point when he was in the ICU when he stopped breathing and if I hadn't gotten up to thump him I'm not 100% certain he'd have taken another spontaneous breath. And the whole month I was there taking care of my father, 1500 miles from home, my thoughts slowly evolved to thinking, who would do this for me?

So finally alone with my thoughts on the long 1500 mile drive back home, I realized that there is no one in my life right now who would care about me to do the things I did for him. And that, as his daughter, it was very possible I had inherited some of the conditions that led him to where he was and I could look forward to facing the same issues. And I decided then that I needed to change - and I did. Because if no one else is going to love me, I can at least love and take care of myself. Occasionally I've had to remind myself of this, but I think maybe this time I might have finally gotten it.

Huge book as I play catch up. Because well most of y'all know me by now lol.

@Lasmartchika Great work this week. Sodium is going to do it's thing and we just have to deal with it on those days. Keep up the good choices this weekend.

@svm569 Very nice loss for the week. Everyone has those days when we go a little over. That is part of life and daily perfection isn't realistic. Staying on track consistently will get you to the goals even with a few tiny bumps or mountains that may arise.

@sharpdust Stay strong girl. Happy anniversary.

@VictorSmashes Hope you are feeling better.

@bindingmytime I know the situation you are in is difficult and I hope you are able to leave soon. I am happy thought that you've come to realize you are deserving of happiness and don't have to treated as worth less in life. Being able to find a healthy relationship with ourselves is so important. Keep taking those steps to a stronger more confident you.

@Danielle__S Congrats on this week's loss. Do the podcast for you. If others come to listen which they probably will even better.

@theleadmare I'm sorry the house didn't work out. I know you were excited to find the place. Hoping the migraines are gone and that everyone in the house is doing better.

@Aerohead21 Relax, breathe, and work on bringing focus back into mind. You've come a long way and I know you can bring it back around to moving forward.

@torihudson6 Ugh stress eating can be a struggle. I'm working on breaking that habit and turning into one of doing something productive instead. After a bit my mind is into the action and off food. Those kickboxing classes are really paying off. You are doing awesome. Keep working on finding that inner love because you are so worth it. Also love the new pic since I think I've forgotten to mention that.

@Candyn617 I would say you have a great handle on watching portions and mindless eating. The proof is in all the weight you've loss. Keep doing the same and achieve your goals.

@xprincesszeldax Great loss!! Losing slowly is much better in the long run.

@CupcakeCrusoe Glad you enjoyed sushi night. Weigh your serving and do a quick calorie add if you used a gravy or anything. Thankfully I don't have to worry about anyone else eating my food. They just curl up their noses lol. I made a banana oatmeal cookie the other day. Hubby and son thought I had made chocolate oatmeal candy. Both proceeded to spit them out quick.

@lbostic7 Love the idea of seeing this journey as a job. I hadn't really thought about it that way. Taking care of ourselves does require work and planning though. I've been doing my own measurements but now I need to add in hubby to help. Plus the sharpie idea is neat. I know my tape measure isn't in the same place twice.

@kayonaise2 Celebrating the special times and getting back to it the next day will lead to your goals. I think we all want this to the last time we need to lose. To do that we need to allow for things like Valentine's and holidays. Keeping the mindset of working hard the other days so we can enjoy moments is important.

@orangequilt Congrats on getting into regular sizes!! Having more choice in clothing will be nice. I've been watching youtube wardrobe videos and dreaming. I'm not fashionable at all and never will be. I'm like comfortable, classic, and have never liked shopping. I want to set up an easy capsule type wardrobe when I finally it goal weight.

@pamiede Amazing!!! Your journey is so inspiring and you look fabulous. I hate knowing you were bullied but am happy to know you were confident enough to have that self love. That is a wonderful thing to grow up with. I agree that aging has made me wiser and more accepting of myself. It is much easier to tune out those old voices of negativity and down talk.

@OksanaMaliarClark Nice loss!! Keep at it slow and steady.

@nightkit6 Great work staying under for Valentine's.

@BrownSugar174 Omg that's hilarious!! Sounds like something hubby and I would do. Your diner sounds wonderful and decadent. Oh what a hard question. Hmm will think on that as I finish reading/posting. What is your answer?

@speyerj I know learning to retrain your inner self was difficult. I'm glad you've been able to do that and continue with the positive thoughts. So glad you were able to come of the meds!! Your ability to hit goals still makes me smile and aspire to do that well. I know if I can do that well the benefits will show up. Kick it in the 5k today.

@KeriA Hope you had a nice night with the family. Thanks for sharing your experience with the plateaus, taking rest periods, etc. That is good information to have for the future. Great job on fitting in the extra exercise this week. Keep it going.

@Tarzan37 I'm sorry your mom isn't doing well. Hopefully as the drs do more tests etc the problem will be diagnosed and a treatment plan put in place. Maybe this weekend will be better and you can take some time to relax and focus on self care. hugs

@Savannah80 There are no bad or naughty meals/foods. Sure we can make better choices at times but also shouldn't feel bad when we choose to eat less "healthy" things occasionally. The problem comes when the not so great choices become commonplace daily ones. If you can be sure to get in a little exercise on days you know will be larger calorie days. I know some argue against exercise for calories. Personally though I try to make sure I get logged activity on those days to help offset things. I'm not going to go whole hog to eat a ton but I will do an elliptical etc to help things balance out a bit.

@katarina005 Realizing others are stealing your happiness is a revelation. Glad you were able to do that and feel stronger for it.

@Terytha Congrats on your loss. I think trying to outguess the scale is futile. I'm always wrong lol. You are working hard and will reach that June goal. I'm right there with you into wanting out of obese category. I need to see what weight that would be though.

@mmdeveau Congratulations on getting out of obese category!!! From the early discussion it may be crap measuring standard that ins etc use but dropping down is still a mind boost. I know I want that drop too. Great loss this week and checking off all those goals. You and speyerj always kill it with the goals. Seven miles...wow!! That is amazing. All the work you've put in is showing up and showing out. I don't doubt for a minute you will be successful in the 10 mile race. Such a life changing take away from what had to be a traumatic situation for you. In those moments we often find strength and courage we didn't know existed within. Being able to use that as a reason to improve your life and learn to love self is a blessing.

Warning: trauma post may trigger but it is my life and answers the question above.

@BrownSugar174
In answer to your question "when did I start loving myself" the process started in 2001. Our second son was born in 2000. I had complications with my first son and didn't plan on having more. Life happened and pills didn't work. I was put in the hospital when I was a bit past 4months. Then for about 6wks on hospital bed rest trying to delay the birth. Our son was born at 6months so way early. He weighed 1lb 14oz and went straight to NICU. When he was 6wks old surgery (still in NICU) was needed bc formula was setting up like concrete in his intestines. Right after surgery he was bleeding out. Then came the toughest moment in my life. I had to hold him while telling the dr to remove life support. The next year is a blur of Zoloft, Ambien, and sleep. I made the motions enough to get my other son through life daily but not much else. I was in a whole that I wasn't sure I could come out of. Drowning in grief plus all other crap of my life before then (abuse situations, suicide attempt at 12-13, etc.) I kept wondering how bad of a person was I to have so much happen from age 6 to that present. One year later I decided I wanted a life, deserved one, and couldn't keep letting the people who hurt me win, nor could losing one child take me away from the family I had who still needed me. I had to learn to love me, forgive others, and understand just because bad things happened it didn't mean I was bad. Some days the negative talk will creep in and I have to find that spark again but overall I know I'm good, kind, and deserving.

Hi ladies, is there room for another participant? I'm Jane, and I'm in the UK. I'm 5'1" tall and weigh 216lbs...so I need to lose 90lbs to get to a healthy BMI. I've done it before (back in 2013-2014 I lost 98lbs to reach my goal weight of 126lbs) but over the past 5 years that weight has all crept back on and I'm almost back where I started. My goal is to lose 1lb - 1.5lbs per week, through healthy eating and daily dog walking. I'll try to be happy with any loss though, even if it's only a quarter of a pound per week.

@speyerj, I was thinking about you during my walk today, kicking myself for forgetting to wish you good luck! As it turns out you didn't need it, great job on the 5K!!

@Tarzan37 It is hard when someone you are close to is having health issues. However I think it is scarier when they don’t know what is the problem. Sometimes when someone tells me of a health problem I think but it is good you know what it is because then they know how to treat it and there is so much they know now about. So I pray they figure out what is the matter with your Mother. I am hoping today is better for you.

@Savannah80 That is a bit like our plans this weekend too. We planned to go to a ballroom dancing class and get dinner on the way home. Instead our daughter said to pick her up at the Asian market she was making sushi. Then a night out with my mother for her birthday yesterday. Today we seem to finally have more control over our eating. Hang in there.

@BrownSugar174 I am going to answer when I started to put myself higher in priority than before. A year before the economic downturn I decided to insist on a gym membership for my birthday. Then when I got laid off a year later I decided this was when I would lose weight and get fit and healthy. I looked for jobs but my field was hit in several ways so there weren’t any. I found some here and there but pretty much I exercised an hour a day and logged food. I lost 40 pounds with a lot of hard work. Unfortunately that has come back with working full time again. But I love my job and I still keep trying to get exercise when I can and eat right. As to when I started to love myself I remember when I went to college I realized that my Christian up bringing taught me how to love others but it didn’t teach me how to love and take care of myself. How to stand up to someone who was hitting on me etc. I realized how can you love others as you love yourself if you don’t know how to love yourself. I am still working on it.

@Terytha I believe in you.

@ mmdeveau Congratulations on hitting that milestone. But there seems to be a lot more progress in other areas too.

@Danielle_S I like the simplicity of how you put down your goals by the days of the week or cups per day. I think simplicity works well.

@bluffgirl67 reading your response and others to @BrownSugars174 question made me feel like I was so thankful that you and others here took that step. I am grateful to all of you and to the thread. I am so glad we are taking care of ourselves or at least trying and we are supporting each other too. Pretty cool.

@speyerj Congratulations! Yay!

@ danipatti1216 great news.

On the weekend I catch up with any recording of food and exercise both on here and on a spreadsheet. I noticed I had some high calorie days which surprised me since I felt I had kept my calories low. So after I read the posts on here from the weekend I went back and put in the exercise (calories burned). So I didn't really go over any day but I want to keep my calories lower next week. However I am happy that I upped our exercise this week by getting exercise on non-aquafit days. Today my husband and I went for a small walk along the beach on our way home.

We plan to do some planning today and maybe tomorrow to change things around to get a budget that will get us ready for retirement. We talked about both addressing financial and food too. We feel burdened by getting our finances in order, getting our house fixed up and getting healthy in preparation for our next phase of life. Our son has shared with us how there are stories on the internet about how millenniums have found a way to get out from under college debt. He said if they can do it in 2 years you can get your finances in order in 2 years. He is right. There is no reason to look at things as a burden. We need to look at things as a challenge we can meet. Yes we had to postpone things during when I was having employment issues a few years back but we can turn our attitude around and meet the challenge. I am so glad we have a 3 day weekend!

BrownSugar174 wrote: »

“When did I start loving myself?”

I could not believe it at first.  Then I heard her heartbeat…the fact that this body I hated could actually be carrying life completely blew my mind.  In the months between the time I learned I was pregnant and giving birth I sought counseling because I kept thinking to myself…I’m not worthy…how can I be worthy of this?  I kept thinking…I’m going to be a horrible parent.  Then she looked up at me for the first time and that was the moment….that moment in falling in love with her….I began to love myself.

Thanks for sharing your inspiring experiences.

The best days of my life were when I got married and when I had my 2 kids. I have had great days since but those were the start of the best things. This is coming from a woman who works full time doing work that is interesting and rewarding.

When did I start loving myself?

Perhaps at six, when I realized that I read better, faster, longer than anyone else except the adults. And I understood I was different, and different was just how I was, and that was.
Perhaps at fourteen, when I realized I didn't just like boys. And said, "That's not wrong, and neither is this. And people who say it's wrong are the wrong ones."
Perhaps at 23, when I stepped away from the religion I'd been born to to one that is still mistrusted and reviled by some, but which fills my soul and gladdens my heart.
Perhaps at 25, when I made decisions for the health and wellbeing of myself and my children.
Perhaps at 33, when I realized that no one expects roses to be the size of violets; that the body under my fat was tall and muscular and competent, not a frail little slender model. Pin up, not runway. And that my beauty was that of competence and strength and curves, not vulnerability.
Perhaps at 46, when I cried and cried and realized that I couldn't make him be the man he used to be, and that the marriage was already dead. I couldn't hold on any longer.
Perhaps at 47, when I decided I had spent long enough being fat, and I wanted to change.

Or, perhaps, a little bit more at each of these times.

I did this whole journey, got to my goal weight, and started eating again and stopped working out. Needless to say, the results weren't good. I started eating better again around mid January. Couple of slip ups, but that's normal.

I met someone (kind of) in December, talked to him late January (not romantic, celebrity-type but not really), and I decided I need a huge change in life. Gonna eat better, work out, maybe move eventually... I already changed my hairstyle and have a new attitude in general.

Height: 5'7
SW: 235ish
CW: 215
GW: 160 by August
At my size (bones, boobs, etc.), 160 looks like a lot of other people's 130, so I can't go much lower without looking sick. This time I won't lose my way after hitting 160.

@bluffgirl67 thank you so much! You're doing a great job, keeping up with all the posts!

Height 5'7"
Start Weight: 222 pounds (1/1/2020)
Jan Endind Weight: 212 pounds
Feb Goal Weight: 207 pounds
My Desired Weight: 140 to 150 pounds

2/03: 212
2/10: 209.8
2/17: 209.8

I started working out with a trainer 2 days a week along with walking on the treadmill 3 days a week. We had our first 2 workout sessions last week and I am so thankful I did not see the expected weight gain. I probably will not make my February weight loss goal, but hopefully we will start showing a loss next weigh in.

@BrownSugar174 I think that throughout life I have loved myself and not loved myself. I love the question though! It got me thinking! I would say that right now I'm definitely in a place where I don't love myself. I'm not happy with how I feel and my physical appearance. I judge myself because of it and feel that others judge me too. I know that loving myself shouldn't be based on just how I look, but ultimately, if I don't like what I see in the mirror, there's no loving myself. I'm working toward it. I have to say that I've been proud of myself so far on this journey for staying on track and working out and not giving in to cravings or giving up on myself. I'm hoping, I'll love myself again soon!