Less Alcohol - MARCH 2020 - One Day at a Time

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

For me, a series of alcohol free days does not lead to a binge. For example, if I go 5 weeks without a drink and then have a bottle of wine in a night, that comes out to one glass of wine per week. However, I really never just have it in one night. Last time I enjoyed wine, I started around 3 pm and paced it out as opposed to pounding one drink after another, hand over fist. Currently I'm on 10 days AF but I won't drink until after my next Marathon (assuming it doesn't get cancelled) and yes, I'll be partying, celebrating a victory if I finish it and so in that case, it will be one bottle of wine after 100 days. I definitely don't consider that binge drinking. Plus when I am done, I'm done.

I seem to have lost my mojo- have been stressed like so many people. Been having multiple glasses of wine for the last 3 nights. Tonight will be AF. Already with routines messed up and the kids out of school and my new telecommuting existence, it is tempting to go for the wine.

We had a spring break trip planned and spent a lot of time wondering whether or not we'd still go. Ultimately decided to cancel the trip last night, and there was a lot of anguish involved in making the decision. We're trying to do our part for public health though, and being near an airport seems rather risky.

Yesterday as I was debating doing the trip or not, I felt so anxious and needed to get out of the house. I got my 7 year old son to come with me to the nature trails down the road and we ran over 3 miles together. He's quite the runner for his age, long legs and a gazelle like stride and endless endurance. We do go running occasionally but had never been trail running, and we had so much run. I think this will be a regular thing for us! I felt so much better after that.

I actually feel better and less stressed overall after arriving at the decision, so hopefully the wine will stop calling my name. I do feel a little bit like we are on vacation mode, however. Hopefully I can get a grip on the new normal!

St. Patrick's Day for me has never been a big holiday. I usually commemorate it by doing some sort of Shamrock Run 5k. I even have a pair of shiny green leggings for the purpose. This year, my run got canceled of course.

Mar 1: AF
Mar 2: AF
Mar 3: AF
Mar 4: AF
Mar 5: AF
Mar 6: half a drink
Mar 7: 2 drinks
Mar 8: 4 drinks
Mar 9: AF
Mar 10: AF
Mar 11: AF
Mar 12: AF
Mar 13: AF
Mar 14: 3 drinks
Mar 15: 3 drinks
Mar 16: 2 drinks

So far in March 10/16 days AF

As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
I had 18AF days for January
I had a surprising (and record setting for me) 21AF days for the short month of February!

Sunday March 01 - AF - The month kind of came in like a lamb out West.
Monday March 02 - AF - Tomorrow is my designated drinks day, we'll see. It could have been the strategy that led to 2 AF days in a row, knowing that I have a drinks day coming up. Definitely going to stick with my newest rule to have at least 2 AF days in a row in between which will add up over the month.
Tuesday March 03 - AF - It is my designated drink day, and I felt like having drinks but decided not to today.
Wednesday March 04 - AF - I just read up on Kava, it is banned in Canada due to severe liver damage and deaths! Yikes. Guess that I won't be trying that as a relaxing alternative to booze. I will stick with my sugar free jello on AF days.
Thursday March 05 - 3 drinks, started from work stress (so using it as a stress reliever still) but after the first sip I was feeling better. I have been applying for new jobs, I have known that I have to make a change in that area for quite some time. I already feel like I have made changes to drink less and am feeling pretty successful at that so far. Coming up to 60 this year and know that I need to define how that is going to be. I think that the days of daily drinking are behind me now. Posting daily on this thread gives me the impetus to keep that in check. Quitting smoking will be a big challenge, but that is on my radar too. Losing weight, cutting down drinking...well, I can't quite quit everything just yet. Baby steps.
Friday March 06 - AF - Felt like having a few drinks, but didn't because of my recent 2AF days in a row rule.
Saturday March 07 - 3 drinks
Sunday March 08 - AF
Monday March 09 - AF - Going to be AF for at least a few days, I have lots going on this week.
Tuesday March 10 - AF - Stressful work day, my usual drinks day, maybe later in the week.
Wednesday March 11 - AF - Early morning tomorrow, so no drinks tonight.
Thursday March 12 - AF - Really felt like having drinks, but I have too much to do tomorrow. I still have mulled wine left in the refrigerator (this never would have happened in the past) probably a glass and a half. Perhaps tomorrow after work I will warm in back up and relax with some. We'll see.
Friday March 13 - 3 drinks and Nachos. I enjoyed both. Forgot about the mulled wine. Maybe next planned drinks day.
Saturday March 14 - AF. I looked at the mulled wine still sitting in the fridge, it was snowing today and after shoveling I really thought about warming it up. I had cocoa with orange extract instead, it was lovely.
Sunday March 15 - Drinks. I finished off the mulled wine from the fridge (warmed it up) and it was delicious. After that, once I realized that this wasn't going to be an AF day I had more drinks. This is one of the downfalls of trying to rack up AF days, once one drink is consumed, it is almost a free for all. Would I be better to try to have 1 drink per day or continue on trying to have AF days and consuming more on the days that were not AF? Conundrum.
Monday March 16 - AF
Tuesday March 17 - 2 drinks. I was really ready to just go off of the rails tonight. I am a Merchandiser and work for many companies, I work in various stores. I thought that I had been taking Covid19 in stride, I really didn't think that it was bothering me. I was working in a Safeway store when I saw a friend from out of town who said that she drove in to buy some eggs, we were close to the egg area so I walked over with her...no eggs!! I don't know why that was the last straw for me at all, but after that I just became upset. I starting thinking of how I have worked so hard to try to lose weight, measuring every amount, weighing my food, working out daily, cutting my alcohol consumption (and my wine drinking girlfriends out) - just to lose 1 pound per month when my left over calories from each day should add up to at least 6-7 pounds of loss per month, older age I guess. I basically was like "*kitten* it", not worth all of the effort and deprivation. I left the store with a Samosa and some honey garlic chicken, then went to the liquor store. Somehow after 2 drinks I didn't want any more. Yes, I ate the food, but still have 700 calories left over, like usual/every day. Can't seem to even sabotage myself today : - ) Glad that I didn't need eggs!! I have been skating for little bits at a time since my knees went out in November, like 20 minutes at a time instead of 2 hours. There was daily ice skating started for the 2 weeks of March break which I was really looking forward to (happy place, stress relief, fitness...). Of course all of the arenas have now been closed. Argh. Apparently alcohol was not the answer, I didn't even feel like having my usual 3rd drink!


Running tally: 12AF days out of 17 days so far.

3/2 - less than usual. hopefully i skip buying a bottle on the way home today. no AF days yet in 2020
3/3 - dont ask
3/4 - 3/4 of normal. went to bed on time instead of passing out in front of TV
3/5 - about 1/2 of normal but had way to much feed yesterday. fell asleep fine but woke up many times.
3/6 - oh boy
3/7 - much less but probably only due to the need of staying sober to drive wife to airport for red eye flight. i fear my drinking the next 10 days without someone monitoring me.
3/17 - well i survived the 10 days on my own. today will be my first AF day in 2020 since i need to pick up wife at the airport 3/18 - 2am
3/18 - sorry yesterday AF did not happen. since a few people up in tower got a cold in chicago my wife could not fly home. maybe fridays flight will not get cancelled.

I'm reading some positivity and loving it DESPITE the fact that I have a negative attitude and I am highly irritated right now. Husband took seventeen year old to airport 2 1/2 hours north in Dallas, missed flight because of water flooding roads. Baggage didn't go on next flight booked despite having prepaid for it (not airline's fault, it's husband's). So now we have to pay to have her luggage transported. He said my daughter walked through security acting all grown and let them book her on another flight instead of asking him what to do first. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu cccccc kkkkk. I'm just frustrated, just irritated. Life goes on and in the grand scheme of things it's really not a big deal, but today it is. If you want it done right, do it yourself; I should have done it myself. I would have left earlier and better informed her of what to do. Irritated. Annoyed. Frustrated.

Hey everyone, this is pretty hard to keep things on track with all the crap going on for all of us. I accomplished one AF night last night after 3 nights of wine. I'm starting to not feel optimistic though about being able to keep that up. I'm in a wine club and have been playing around with ordering a case of really good wine. The wineries need the business right now since their tasting rooms are closed and I'm staring down the idea of chilling in my house for months on end. Some fine wine would help? Arrgh I don't know. One day at a time here. I like coming here to see my drinking written down. It helps me.

Mar 1: AF
Mar 2: AF
Mar 3: AF
Mar 4: AF
Mar 5: AF
Mar 6: half a drink
Mar 7: 2 drinks
Mar 8: 4 drinks
Mar 9: AF
Mar 10: AF
Mar 11: AF
Mar 12: AF
Mar 13: AF
Mar 14: 3 drinks
Mar 15: 3 drinks
Mar 16: 2 drinks
Mar 17: AF

So far in March 11/17 days AF