Less Alcohol - MAY 2020 - One Day at a Time
MissMay
Posts: 3,783 Member
in Challenges
~THIS IS A MONTHLY CONTINUING THREAD THAT HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE AS FAR BACK AS 2017. ALL WELCOME 🌍~
Do you want to drink LESS?
Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!
I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.
Be kind to the person you will wake up as.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.
▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪
USING OUR THREAD:
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•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
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•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
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•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
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•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance (by @Orphia):
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•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You" (by @Orphia):
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•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
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•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk
•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
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•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
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•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
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•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
3
Replies
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Join us as we choose to DRINK LESS ALCOHOL.
This is a place to be accountable for, gather strength, throw around ideas and support each other with our goals.
I have been living the less alcohol life for 27 months. It has changed my life back to, being MY LIFE.9 -
Thank you @MissMay!
Changing up goals to work on managing quantity....
Personal rules for May:
3 non AF days max allowed, one of which has a limit of 1 drink. The other two have no specific limit but I am requiring myself to track and log quantity. Idea is to stay moderate. Rule always include drinking only with a meal.
Picked 3 days because of 3 "holidays" : memorial day, mother's day, cinco de mayo.....but I can choose to not drink those days as well.
6 -
My goal for May is to be alcohol free. I definitely want to drink again but I want to make some great progress in my life, as a whole, and I am...so when I get to the satisfied with myself point, I'll drink again (hopefully it's soon)!
I have no great advice but I can share what has worked for me over this past month:
1) Exercise- I think if you enjoy the exercise you're doing, you'll stay consistent with it and if you stay consistent then you'll reap loads of benefits... better physical, mental, and emotional well being and from there you reap even more benefits! I ran every single day this month. It helped!
2) Saving money that I would have used on alcohol to use towards nurturing an interest or hobby. For me, that would be creating a small garden (I'm starting out with a pot garden). Anyway husband gifted me, sweet surprise, a giant jalapeno pepper plant and a Husky Cherry Red tomato plant. I know nothing about gardening but I'm going to learn!!! I also bought myself some rosemary, bell pepper, and parsley seeds. We will see where this goes, but getting excited about something helps alleviate thoughts that lead to negative consequences...
Hugs to all of YOU...8 -
My realistic goal is to limit drinking to Fridays (virtual pub night), bank holidays and my birthday. That would be 7 drinking days. More than I was drinking earlier in the year, but virtual pub is a highlight of the week and although I could do it AF I am comfortable with "less alcohol" rather than "no alcohol". I also have work drinks on other nights sometimes but I'm not as bothered about drinking during those.7
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I'm in!!5
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8 -
YES.....the possibilities are endless. "Together" as I read so many times from everyone that has posted on here, WE can help each other by sharing our struggles, techniques and showing our determination to keep from consuming to much alcohol. What ever those personal reasons may be.
Let's get started!8 -
Happy first day of May! 5:16am AZ time and I am about to bust out the door for a good morning run before the scorching sun rises. This fills up my "happy" tank.....9
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Thanks for the kickoff @MissMay!
January=0 drinkin days
February=0 drinkin days
March=4 drinkin days (damn coronaviris stress!)
April =0 drinkin days
Happy May to all, hope this month is better than the last 2 as far as stress, anxiety and feeling cooped up goes, have a great day all 💗10 -
Back with my same goals! Be AF Sunday-Thursday!9
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Welcome, May !! Where was I during April ?? The entire month seemed like a cruel April Fool joke. Spent way too much time just watching the dust settle. The UPS guy & I are on a first name basis...
New month, fresh start. The calories are going to get logged, the exercise is gonna get done, the dust banished. Wine corked.
Wash, rinse, repeat, daily.
11 -
Day 5 of AF and I know I will keep it! Definitely have eaten a LOT more this week without the alcohol at night to fill the void. This I don't want to do. I need something to alleviate the boredom and frustration. I am having to face the anxiety, fear and frustration of the current situation sober, which is where the eating comes in. (I'm usually a very healthy eater so this makes me beat myself up). Since I'm in Nicaragua there isn't much I can do in terms of getting niche or healthy foods, and running is out.11
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@morrisjen2014 Way to go! What are you doing in Nicaragua? Can you do a workout with weights or bodyweight?
Best wishes, everyone! My goal is AF for the month as well. Simply because I don't trust myself to have even one at this point. I've realized I most want to drink when I'm frustrated. I was so angry last night mostly at the weather and who knows what. But I holed up in the guest bedroom, door shut, cried, and watched a Netflix movie in the dark. Kinda like escaping into a bottle of wine, which I wanted more than anything. The anger subsided, went to bed, and woke up with no hangover feeling great and ready for coffee.13 -
Yes I'm going to try bodyweight exercises today.8
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May is a special month for me on the 20th it’s 12 years AF and living healthier.This year being in NJ is making things difficult. Every year I run my age I turned 72 in January and ran 7.2 miles usually in May I run my anniversary or this year 12 miles I am afraid being inside and using the treadmill I am not nearly ready and so as the weather finally improves I will start running outside. It’s harder running with a mask 😷 but we will try.
I have found it’s less depressing being AF while stuck inside and considering half of the liquor stores in town closed I don’t have the anxiety of trying to get a bottle
12 years ago I was drinking about a pint of gin a day that would have been impossible to maintain today without being able to work13 -
Check-in #1 for May: Wow - no alcohol today and "I didn't die or anything." I guess this makes 1/1 AF - a record for me! I will set a goal of 1 AF day/week, at least for this month, along with daily check-ins for accountability.
@Ke22yB: First, major congratulations on 12 years AF and "...living healthy."!! Second, I worked in an operating room for over 25 years (Nurse Anesthetist), wearing a face mask every day. The paper masks (as opposed to cloth) are much easier to breath and talk through. That said, I'm not sure you need one to run as long as you keep moving, and follow the other physical distance rules.8 -
As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
I managed 22AF days somehow in April!!
Thanks @MissMay for keeping us going : - )
Friday May 01 - AF - I had to do the 6 minute wait a few times to get there. Planned drinks tomorrow.
1AF day out of 1 day so far : - )9 -
@Doxmum Glad that you didn't die or anything : - )
That was how I started too, 1AF day per week. Once I did the first one, I realized that it was possible. I then went to 2AF days per week the following month.
Good going for your AF day! Woohoo!!9 -
May 1: total 4 drinks....eek...used up a designated drinking day with husband. We were actually on a mission to find travel size hand sanitizer at Walgreens and wound up buying mini-size 99 cent bourbon bottles. Really.
Just felt like I needed to celebrate the start of a new month, but it cost me over 1200 calories easily with the snacking I did. Party is over now, at least until Memorial Day weekend, now time to get to serious business on losing 4 pounds this month and getting super fit.9 -
6:32 am in Vegas another 24, everyone sounds great! Have a wonderful day all!8
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Dawn get healthy thanks for your post. I was getting a little concerned when everyone posting was AF for months or most of the year. I really am on the side of cutting back.
A couple glasses of wine each night also led to extra snacks. Even when we didn’t have chips in the house, I would be creative and make something just as unhealthy 🤦🏼♀️. Covid quarantine hasn’t helped.
Thanks for all the advice and I will try this for May. Perhaps my mantra should be Moderation in May?
~ Samand9 -
Oops, autocorrect really butchered your name and I didn’t catch it dawnbgethealthy. Sorry😉2
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Moderation is good
Yesterday was a Friday so it was a drinking day at a work quiz then cycling club virtual pub. Both of those run every Friday and I'm getting into a bit of a drinking routine but I'm fine with that. Today will be AF though.7 -
Had my 7th AF day in a row yesterday. Kind of want to commit to 30 days AF but I’m also kind of scared that if I commit to not drinking at all and then I do drink, I’ll just abandon it all.
For now, seeing where it takes me and if I do drink, I’ll wait at least 30 minutes from when I have the desire. In that 30 minutes, I’ll write down what thoughts emerge related to the desire to drink. Trying out one of the strategies from the Take a Break podcast.
1/1 AF days for May9 -
Af yesterday . Trying to get motivated today in the midst of all of this uncertainty down here. Its tempting to just hole up but I need to stay positive! Today is Day 6 of AF.8
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"Stop making excuses and shifting the blame; you did it because you wanted to. Stop making excuses, nobody made you." - This is what I tell my daughters when it's never their fault.
You poured the booze down your throat because you wanted to, not because you were incoherent and confused and thought it was apple juice; you knew what you were doing before you did it and you saw an opportunity, an easy excuse and you grabbed it.
Nobody and nothing forced you to eat that dozen donuts and lay on the couch in a ball. I'm sorry the gym is closed down but that does not prevent you from getting outside and taking a walk or going for a run or even just hopping off the couch and doing some jumping jacks or push ups.
Stop making excuses, STOP! I am so grateful for grandparents who survived the Great Depression; they whined about NOTHING and made NO EXCUSES for their actions. They were strong and persistent despite being financially poor. They were God trusting and fearing. They were not weak and pathetic, attention seeking, self-pity ridden opportunistic folks that played others as their fools. Please do NOT play others as your fool because not everyone believes the Coronavirus is shoving booze down your throat, making you overeat, and/or preventing you from exercising!
Depression is real and I say this as someone who has been depressed many times in her life. I have blamed everyone else for my mistakes and I've probably even blamed the weather. I could or would probably have blamed everyone in the world EXCEPT for myself. I have been the Queen of excuses, dethroned now however. But guess what... the first stop in admitting you have any type of problem or that you have made a mistake is to admit that you have a problem or that YOU made a mistake. The Coronavirus isn't the reason you drank, overate, fought with your spouse, didn't exercise, overslept, crashed your car, or whatever else excuse you can find to blame whatever behavior you engaged in.
I have coped by overeating, drinking, and engaging in self-pity. But it didn't work for me...it didn't... There are healthy coping strategies and none of them start by playing the blame game.9 -
Rewrite:
"Stop making excuses; you did it because you wanted to. Nobody made you." - This is what I tell my daughters when it's never their fault.
You poured the booze down your throat because you wanted to, not because you were incoherent and confused and thought it was apple juice; you knew what you were doing before you did it and you saw an opportunity, an easy excuse and you grabbed it.
Nobody and nothing forced you to eat that dozen donuts and lay on the couch in a ball. I'm sorry the gym is closed down but that does not prevent you from getting outside and taking a walk or going for a run or even just hopping off the couch and doing some jumping jacks or push ups.
Stop making excuses, STOP, and stop blaming everyone and everything for your mistakes! I am so grateful for grandparents who survived the Great Depression; they whined about NOTHING and made NO EXCUSES for their actions. They were strong and persistent despite being financially poor. They were God trusting and fearing. They were not weak and pathetic, attention seeking, self-pity ridden opportunistic folks that played others as their fools. Please do NOT play others as your fool because not everyone believes the Coronavirus is shoving booze down your throat, making you overeat, and/or preventing you from exercising!
Depression is real and I say this as someone who has been depressed many times in her life. I have blamed everyone else for my mistakes and I've probably even blamed the weather. I could or would probably have blamed everyone in the world EXCEPT for myself. I have been the Queen of excuses, dethroned now however. But guess what... the first stop in admitting you have any type of problem or that you have made a mistake is to admit that you have a problem or that YOU made a mistake. The Coronavirus isn't the reason you drank, overate, fought with your spouse, didn't exercise, overslept, crashed your car, or whatever else excuse you can find to blame whatever behavior you engaged in.
I have coped by overeating, drinking, and engaging in self-pity. But it didn't work for me...it didn't... There are healthy coping strategies and none of them start by playing the blame game.3 -
@LoveyChar ....[putting my helmet on a stick and poking it out of the foxhole...] I've done the overdrinking & overeating many more times than I can count. Actually freezing the donuts "for later" and then eating them that night, still frozen. Pathetic, no??
Never cast blame on anyone or thing else but me...and that's REALLY depressing.
Stayed up til 3 am reading, avoiding the bottle, then fried up a piece of fish for supeakfast & went to bed. Awoke bright eyed and bushy haired at noon, just in time to greet the UPS guy at my front door. With a wine delivery. Which I will not drink anytime soon.
MayDay #1 & #2 alcohol free. Still trying to get a handle on this thing called "moderation".
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@Samand303 ...to foil the auto correct, type @ then the name. That also notifies the person being mentioned that you commented on their post.
Chugging AF beer after mowing the farmette ...back to lurking...8 -
I had no alcohol in April, and I'm unlikely to have any in May. March was drink free - I had some one day in February on a special occasion.
I basically gave up in February 2019 to make my diet easier. I found that drinking very little was surprisingly nice, and so I continued with it.10
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