How do you deal with the fear?
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sofrances
Posts: 156 Member
I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).
How do you deal with the fear?
How do you deal with the fear?
7
Replies
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I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).
How do you deal with the fear?
Most people put weight back on because they go back to old eating habits and stop exercising regularly and don't nip it in the bud when they start to see the scale creep up. The difference in losing weight and maintaining weight is a handful of calories...a couple snacks or something. I'm 7 years of maintenance more or less...I usually put on about 10 Lbs over the winter when my activity level and exercise level dips, but take it off in the spring. My eating habits are pretty much the same as when I was losing weight except I get a handful more calories. I still weigh in a couple times per week and monitor my weight...10 Lbs is my intervention point. If you're monitoring your weight and being mindful of what you're doing and exercising regularly, maintenance really isn't a big deal.13 -
No "fear" here. Worry and concern perhaps but no fear.
FWIW, it sounds like you are just making yourself crazy thinking about things that aren't in the present.
The way to deal w/this problem IMO is to focus on your goal, stick to your plan and shut out the noise Success should be self- reinforcing.
Sounds like this will be easier said than done 4u but that's the only way you will be likely to overcome your "fear."
Good luck!6 -
Suggest you stop looking for scary stories on the internet as it seems to be feeding your fear and not at all helpful.
If you eat an appropriate amount, on average and over an extended period of time you will maintain weight - simple as that (note simple and easy are two different things!).
Fear is an emotion and not really part of managing my calorie balance. You can't live your life on red alert!
Be vigilant but don't be alarmed.
Managing my weight is a logical and thoughtful process - a game of maths if you like, checks and balances.
A simple check is to set yourself a "red line" weight over which triggers action. Say 7lbs over the top of your goal weight range. As long as you take note of that red line and intervene you don't get that never ending creep upwards in weight.
I do think you should reflect on what was going through your mind before when you were aware you were gaining all your weight back and didn't intervene.
Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?
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I think for me the difference of going from weight loss to maintaining is that with losing you have a goal every day (weigh less) versus just trying to stand still. Its a weird shift, but it still takes work just like weight loss does.
I hit what I though would be a goal weight (random figure I pulled out of my butt) on May 8. I started upping my calories, trying to find a balance point. Still kept losing very very slowly and decided to lower my "goal" a bit more while I am finding my new balance point. I'm probably losing about 1/2 lb a week still, mostly do to increased activity with the weather being nicer and I haven't really adjusted my calories to compensate.
I'm finding that I just need to change my goals. So instead of losing weight, my goal is to still log and track to maintain, but to try and reach some fun fitness goals with my new body, like cutting time off my 5K, or increasing my pullups and pushups, etc.
I think a lot of folks "fail" at maintenance because they don't have anything to strive for anymore so they just fall back into their old patterns. "Well, hit my goal! Good for me! I did it! Back to what I was doing..."
Find something new to shoot for when you get to maintenance. Maybe its an activity, or a trip, or wearing a new piece of clothes. Just find something to keep you focused so you don't just go back to what you had been doing before, right?7 -
Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?
I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.
Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.9 -
maybe it is good to have fear so we will be cautious. I dont know, I have the fear also but my weight is off, that is the main thing.3
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It helped that I kind of thought of the weight loss process as maintenance practice, and decided that I wouldn't do anything to lose weight that I wasn't willing to continue forever to maintain the healthy weight, other than that moderate calorie deficit (which I kept decreasing in increments as I got closer to goal, to create a gradual off-ramp into maintenance).
If you still have some weight loss left to go, think about how you can arrange your eating to be calorie appropriate, tasty, nutritious, practical, and permanently sustainable. Then, start working on learning the habits that go with that (just with a little calorie deficit, until goal arrives).
IMO, it's also important just to take responsibility for maintaining, to recognize that unless someone holds us down and forces food into our mouth, our body weight is 100% an outcome of our own choices. We have control. If we let the scale drift up, and let it keep drifting, that's a choice. Absent some very unusual medical condition, we're not going to be the blameless victim of the evil regain monster. If we regain, we chose it, implicitly or explicitly.
Successfully maintaining is just . . . not making that choice.
I've been officially in maintenance for 4+ years now, but had let my weight drift up a bit, still well inside the healthy range. (I know how that happened. ). At a certain point last fall, I decided my weight needed to start drifting down again, and it has, by half a pound a week or a bit slower, no pain or stress about it. (This is after being obese most of my adult life, like 3+ decades.)
It's important to think about your own personality and preferences, to see what habits will work for you long term.
Different people maintaining here use different methods: Keep counting, calorie bank (eat under maintenance most days to eat over on some days), eat intuitively/mindfully without counting, have a rotating pattern of standard meals that you know will result in maintaining weight without counting, exercise or don't, whatever. It has to suit you, not anyone else.
Most people use either a scale-weight range, ot the fit of specific clothes, to decide when they need to cut back for a while, and lose a bit again. I think it's useful to recognize that maintenance isn't going to be a matter of staying the exact same scale weight every day forever: Fluctuations, even minor gains/losses, still happen. As long as the down-fluctuations match up and cancel out up-fluctuations . . . that's maintaining.
Best wishes!13 -
Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?
I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.
Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.
I and many others maintain without food logging.
(Not that there is anything wrong with logging for those that either like it or feel they need it.)
But I couldn't maintain without watching my weight trend and reacting when it starts to drift beyond acceptable limits. I bumped into my upper limit during the COVID lockdown and simply started to reduce my intake a little and my weight is coming back down again. Just thoughful / mindful eating.7 -
Maybe you are giving it too much attention, could that be? I have the same issue this morning but when I saw your question--it's my own---I thought...well, she should un-invite this guest that is in her mind. Could it be more simple than we are allowing it to be? Today--just today--invite those things into your mind that work for you: is it drinking water, is it writing down what you'll eat (planning), is it going for a walk, is it trying a new food??? Then, at the end of the day evaluate IF that type of focus helped or harmed your health goals. Just a thought.4
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Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?
I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.
Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.
I and many others maintain without food logging.
(Not that there is anything wrong with logging for those that either like it or feel they need it.)
But I couldn't maintain without watching my weight trend and reacting when it starts to drift beyond acceptable limits. I bumped into my upper limit during the COVID lockdown and simply started to reduce my intake a little and my weight is coming back down again. Just thoughful / mindful eating.
Thanks @sijomial. i think calorie counting is for me for the foreseeable future, but its good to know its not the only option.0 -
I go into "full logging" mode whenever I hit goal+5lbs. The rest of the time I just try to be sensable.2
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I still log food in year 13 after my 80 pound loss. I tried not logging and that didn't work for me. It's a five minute a day task.
I still use my food scale.
I still limit my desserts.
I still walk for an hour daily.
I still try to get enough sleep, drink enough water, ignore troublesome people, stay away from the news, eat mostly whole foods, watch my macros and micros. It was for me a whole life makeover. I have no desire to go back to the fat miserable version of myself in 2007.
I don't mind. The payoff is HUGE.23 -
I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).
How do you deal with the fear?
Fear is only my enemy if I allow it to paralyze me or act irrationally. I am feeling the same fear but I am channeling it into further self improvement/education so that I am prepared, possibly over-prepared, when maintenance arrives. I also believe that a healthy amount of fear will keep me aware of my weight and habits. If I can maintain my awareness then weight gain is less likely to slip back into my blind spot.4 -
No "fear" here. Worry and concern perhaps but no fear.
FWIW, it sounds like you are just making yourself crazy thinking about things that aren't in the present.
The way to deal w/this problem IMO is to focus on your goal, stick to your plan and shut out the noise Success should be self- reinforcing.
Sounds like this will be easier said than done 4u but that's the only way you will be likely to overcome your "fear."
Good luck!
^^^All of this...1 -
When I joined MFP, I thought about why I had always regained in the past. Basically it came down to thinking i was 'done' once I had reached my goal. I stopped paying close attention to what I was eating, went back to old habits, and stopped weighing myself. When the weight started to pile on, I was scared to find out how much I had gained, so I didn't look. When it became obvious I had gained, I decided I didn't want to diet and would worry about it later. Only later didn't come for a few years.
This time, after losing 55 lbs. I decided that I would continue to log. I would maintain my exercise habits. And I would weigh myself often, no matter what. That worked. I've been maintaining now for several years. When I travel and don't have access to my scale and computer, I'll usually gain a few pounds, but they are easily lost when I get home again. I don't let myself gain more than 5 pounds before I do something about it. That works for me.10 -
The fear I had of dying early in life 100 lbs ago, overrides any fear or worry about gaining it back now and keeps me on the correct healthy path. I'm 55, and this past year has saved my life!13
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Why wasn't it important enough to you to do something about it?
I didn't want to calorie count. It seemed like an unnatural way to live your life, I resented having to do it when other people didn't seem to have to (childish, but I was little more than a child) and at the time there either weren't any apps for it or I certainly didn't know about them. (I had lost the weight originally by basically starving myself on cuppa soups etc.). I spent years hoping for a way to lose and maintain weight without counting.
Now I have calorie counted for a bit, I realise that its not so bad. There's a geeky pleasure to it, even. I wish I had done it earlier, but wishing won't make it so.
I and many others maintain without food logging.
(Not that there is anything wrong with logging for those that either like it or feel they need it.)
But I couldn't maintain without watching my weight trend and reacting when it starts to drift beyond acceptable limits. ]/b]I bumped into my upper limit during the COVID lockdown and simply started to reduce my intake a little and my weight is coming back down again. Just thoughful / mindful eating.
This can't be more emphasized.
I rarely manage my weight. Other than when I purposely was trying to eat as much for health reasons, I literally just skim at my weight once a month or so.
If you have the experience of unexpected weight gain or loss, take more note of your individual weight. Looking at your trend will give some people a better understanding what is happening. Once you can see you are gaining on average, can stop taking a second serving at a meal or snack. If you are trying to gain weight, you might add a late night snack or glass of milk. Usually something you can put back without eating more than intended e.g., bag of chips, chocolate.0 -
I haven't yet reached my maintenance goal, but I'm having serious anxiety issues related to fear of putting the weight back on. Partly this is because I fear the health consequences of doing so (weight loss is not primarily about looks for me at this stage in my life, although I'll take looking better as a bonus ). Partly because I have read lots of depressing articles about how few people keep weight off, "metabolic adaption", microbiome changes associated with obesity, and all that stuff. Also because I lost all the weight once before, but then watched it creep back on over the years until I was heavier than ever (although I was never doing proper calorie counting at that point).
How do you deal with the fear?
Fear is only my enemy if I allow it to paralyze me or act irrationally. I am feeling the same fear but I am channeling it into further self improvement/education so that I am prepared, possibly over-prepared, when maintenance arrives. I also believe that a healthy amount of fear will keep me aware of my weight and habits. If I can maintain my awareness then weight gain is less likely to slip back into my blind spot.
Quoting the bolded parts for truth.
Fear can be good. It keeps us from doing stupid things that could hurt or kill us, right? Also, you can't be brave without fear. Otherwise you're just an idiot running into dangerous situations with no thought or judgement. same can be said about one's health.
But irrational or debilitating fear is not good. There's that line between healthy fear of something bad that spurs one to take reasonable action and pure psychosis.1 -
cmriverside wrote: »I still log food in year 13 after my 80 pound loss. I tried not logging and that didn't work for me. It's a five minute a day task.
I still use my food scale.
I still limit my desserts.
I still walk for an hour daily.
I still try to get enough sleep, drink enough water, ignore troublesome people, stay away from the news, eat mostly whole foods, watch my macros and micros. It was for me a whole life makeover. I have no desire to go back to the fat miserable version of myself in 2007.
I don't mind. The payoff is HUGE.
I except this to be my reality when I get to maintenance. Over the last 3 years, I've finally begun to differentiate between tummy hunger and brain hunger - and brain hunger is a huge hurdle to overcome for me. I also am a horrible judge of what a sensible serving size looks like. So I know that 'mindful eating' will not work for me; trying to eat intuitively is how I got so big in the first place. I find it so easy to forget that I've eaten something, or grab a second serving without even thinking about it; the task of recording my food intake actually helps me stay aware of what I'm consuming; calorie counting for me is how I can eat mindfully, and I fully expect that I'll need to continue counting even once I hit goal in order to be able to maintain that weight and not allow myself to creep upwards again.7 -
It's not fear...but it is a realization that it will take a lifetime of monitoring and upkeep in order to maintain your weight loss.
I look at it like car maintenance. When you buy a car...you don't just change the oil once and you're done with it and think everything will always run smoothly. You don't live in constant fear of your car breaking down, but you get the oil changed, rotate the tires, get any problems checked out as they arise. It gets to be routine, but the maintenance never ends.
I don't log anymore, but I keep a rough running calorie tally in my head for the day, and I monitor my weight. If my weight goes above my acceptable range, then I tighten things up until I'm back in range. Every day, I use what I learned from logging about portion size and calorie counts to make decisions.10
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