Is a rough childhood an acceptable excuse?

quichebradford
quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
I know a lot of people who have had less than desirable experiences in their childhood, some were downright horrible. I’ve heard many of them blame their lack of success (no high school diploma or GED for example) on the way they were brought up. Verbal and/or physical abuse, parents on drugs, abandonment…whatever the case. Do you feel that as an adult, that’s an acceptable excuse?
«134

Replies

  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
    No.
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
    i dont believe in excuses....in every situration you have a choice to overcome or deal with it...YOU decide that, not anyone else
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Nope. Everyone has diffuculties to overcome. There comes a time to stop hiding behind it and better yourself.
  • I understand that it makes things a lot harder. But, I think that at a certain point you have to realize that you're an adult now and you make the decisions in your life. I think that the first step is finding a way to rise above what you experienced. Each subsequent step becomes easier and easier.
  • raefost
    raefost Posts: 31 Member
    its not necessarily and excuse but it can be a reason
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    no such thing as an acceptable excuse.

    if it is at all in your ability to create a better life for yourself and those who depend on you, there are no "acceptable excuses".
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Some terrible traumas I could see affecting you, but I don't think it is an excuse. If anything, it should be an opportunity to overcome your past. People made fun of me for being fat as a kid, but I don't sit and mope about it now, I did something about it instead. There is always help available if you can't overcome it yourself.
  • inotnew
    inotnew Posts: 218 Member
    it may excuse some of your past but not your future. Accept it and move forward!
  • nakabi
    nakabi Posts: 589 Member
    While those circumstances are very said, I don't believe that should be an excuse!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I can understand how someone could say they don't have a high school diploma because of their childhood. Once they move out on their own there is no excuse for them not to get a GED, Associate degree, Bachelor degree or even higher. I know plenty of people who had terrible childhoods, but many of them wanted to change their circumstances and now are successful adults. At some point in life we are the masters of our own destiny.
  • CoCoMa
    CoCoMa Posts: 904 Member
    I've had a dysfunctional and toxic upbringing, but managed to rise above it all. Guess I'm just lucky. I think it depends on strength, circumstance, opportunity, and sometimes just pure luck. Although, the woe-is-me attitude is unexcusable.
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    It's a good starting point. Not ending point. I think acknowledgment is the first step towards moving on. People can get stuck in that, though which would lead to the excuses.
  • I think everyone has a story, yet it is up to that person to write the rest of the chapters of his life. Sometimes the people who struggle the most are the ones who can overcome more than those who were given everything. I personally don't believe in excuses.
  • To a certain extent I believe it's an acceptable excuse. Sometimes people just don't know any different if they were raised a certain way (good or bad).

    However, it reaches a point where they become an adult and they have to realize that it's not an acceptable excuse and if they don't know how to overcome that, they should be adult enough to get help.
  • Splasheh
    Splasheh Posts: 30 Member
    I know a lot of people who have had less than desirable experiences in their childhood, some were downright horrible. I’ve heard many of them blame their lack of success (no high school diploma or GED for example) on the way they were brought up. Verbal and/or physical abuse, parents on drugs, abandonment…whatever the case. Do you feel that as an adult, that’s an acceptable excuse?

    I seriously don't think this topic should even be discussed as it will offend others, even slightly.
  • mamashatzie
    mamashatzie Posts: 238 Member
    No.

    I had a pretty rough childhood. Lots of verbal/emotional abuse, was raised to do everything for everyone else and was never allowed to put myself first.

    I chose to rise above it. I'm now well educated, gainfully employed, happily married, a good mother, and overall successful. The only negative thing that came from my childhood is my weight, but I'm working on changing that.

    In life, we have to take what we're given and then we choose what to make of it. You can choose to turn to drugs, alcohol, or abusing others to make yourself feel better. Or you can choose to better yourself, get therapy, and make a better life for yourself.

    Life is all about choices; we choose who we become.
  • hermanaamber
    hermanaamber Posts: 103 Member
    Only if you want to continue in a life of no success. When you stop making excuses and begin to take control of your life, you will be successful!
  • This content has been removed.
  • I am the child of an abusive addict. Neither of my parents had any higher education.

    I put myself through college (my mother couldn't afford to help me as she's disabled and my father passed away when I was sixteen). I maintained a B+ average, all while working 30+ hours a week.

    I want to say that it's definitely hard to figure out where I should be and what choices I should make. I have a harder time gauging what's 'normal,' but it can definitely be done. Just like anything else, you have to work at it.
  • CoachMaritova
    CoachMaritova Posts: 409 Member
    it's a good excuse to get therapy and move forward!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Not at all. I'm one of those kids with a sad childhood, although, most of it was beyond wonderful, some of it was horrific. I can't let what happened to me as child prevent me from succeeding now. Life sucks, move on.

    I should add, it has taken me years of therapy to get to this point. Before therapy I refused to be held back simply because I didn't want the people who hurt me to ruin my future, I succeeded out of spite, so same goal, different attitude now.
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    I know a lot of people who have had less than desirable experiences in their childhood, some were downright horrible. I’ve heard many of them blame their lack of success (no high school diploma or GED for example) on the way they were brought up. Verbal and/or physical abuse, parents on drugs, abandonment…whatever the case. Do you feel that as an adult, that’s an acceptable excuse?

    I think you can overcome anything in life if you work hard, have faith and choose love over bitterness. I am a perfect example.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I know a lot of people who have had less than desirable experiences in their childhood, some were downright horrible. I’ve heard many of them blame their lack of success (no high school diploma or GED for example) on the way they were brought up. Verbal and/or physical abuse, parents on drugs, abandonment…whatever the case. Do you feel that as an adult, that’s an acceptable excuse?

    like you say, its an excuse....
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    No. Once you become an adult, you also must accept responsibility. Do not use what happened to you as a "crutch" or an excuse. Instead, use it to your advantage and turn that negative into positives.

    I believe, for the most part, we have had something hard happen, some of us more than others, but I chose to make a better person of myself rather than fall victim to my situations. I refuse to stay down because I was knocked down before. Regardless of what happened to me in my past is no excuse for the decisions I make today and would have no one to blame but myself. I can't say, "Well, I was raped at 17, so I can be bad for the rest of my life...." It just doesn't work that way.
  • suz155
    suz155 Posts: 326 Member
    Hi...I think someone else wrote, my exact thoughts. It can be a reason, but, can not be used as an excuse. Excuses hurt ourselves and we get stuck....when we need to move forward.
  • JayPeach
    JayPeach Posts: 1 Member
    I'll echo what alypri and orhstay said and add that all of us have difficulties to overcome and all of us have things in our past that may contribute to our struggles to lose weight. I do think it's important to acknowledge those things and accept that they happened, but ultimately it serves no purpose to dwell on them.

    Moving forward, you must accept that you alone are responsible for your health and wellness and only you have the power to change things for the better.
  • It depends on what outcome you want. I agree it can be a reason - and it can be an excuse if you want people to sympathize with where you are now. But really, if you focus on what your goal is, you'll find you don't need any excuses. I wish you all the best.
  • Nope! I didn't have the greatest childhood, and I am happy to say I was the FIRST member of my dad's side of the family in my generation to #1 - graduate high school, #2 - graduate college, #3 - get married, & #4 - have kids IN THAT ORDER! I started being treated like the matriarch of that side of the family even BEFORE my dad's mom passed away, and still am treated that way when I'm around.

    Congrats! I'm the FIRST on my mom's side in any generation to graduate college, and the first to graduate high school in my generation (second youngest).
  • I could go on for days about my effed up childhood but at some point you have to move on. Its in the past and you can either play the victim FOREVER or choose to overcome it. Sadly lots of people continue to play the victim.

    I am a success today because of those that hurt me. I refuse to prove them right about everything they ever said to me or the things they did to me that scarred me deep down to the bone.

    As a child i was a victim but as an adult I am victorious by no one else's fault but my own with my hand in Gods once I finally woke up and realized I dont have to be unhappy forever.

    So to answer your question, nope its no excuse and I personally believe that they need to get over it. Somehow or another get the help you need and be the best you that you can be.
  • No. I had a very rough childhood. I didn't get fat until I was into middle-age. It is my own fault. Bad eating habits and pure simple laziness about exercise. All of the things I like to do these days are sedentary. I have to force myself to include exercise.
This discussion has been closed.