Does hating your mother mean you are a bad person?
AlwaysWanderer
Posts: 641 Member
Does it? Are you meant to love your mother no matter how much of a b***ch she is? My mother is exactly that, but when I say I dont care about her people go like "but she is your mother! how can you be so callous!", like being a mother automatically made her wonderful. Is there anyone out there who is in a situation like that? Or am I just plain evil? :devil:
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Replies
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I'm evil, but I don't hate my mother ha ha.0
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Yep, I get the same reactions.
But I honestly, really don't give a damn!
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You might not like her actions at all, but not hate her my friend. Hate is heavy stuff :-)
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Being a mother doesn't excuse horrible behaviour.0
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if she's not nice then I don't blame you at all. Life is full of mean people. I'm not sure if it chooses wheter it's family or not.0
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I hate my mother as a person, but I love her because she's my mother. Sometimes, she's great and we get along nicely. But most of the time, she's a raging alcoholic ***** and I can't stand to be around her.
So, no. It doesn't make you a bad person.0 -
nope. It doesn't mean that one bit.0
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lol when i first read this I thought it said Hitting your mother..i was like uh yea lil bit lol.
My mom and I have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes she's great and other times I can't stand her and people are always so astonished that I'm mean to her until they see the way she acts and the **** she does(getting drunk and attacking us, telling us how much she hates us, etc.) then they change their toon!0 -
I hated my mother for a long time. She had abandoned my brothers and I for years and chose her boyfriend (who is now her husband) and his 2 kids over her own. We didn't speak for years and she didn't even come to my first wedding. It was only after I got back into going to church that I was able to forgive (not forget) her for what she had done to me. It doesn't make you a bad person to feel that way about your mother, it just means that things have happened in your relationship to cause negative feelings.0
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i hate my mum..
but i still love her.
but i suppose that only because for half my life she was a good mum.
it doesnt make u a bad person at all for hating her.0 -
Hate is pretty strong and at times I've felt this way but overall I love my mom. Even though she can be a tyrant and boss me around I realized she sacrificed so much for me as I was growing up. You only get one mom in your life and it's usually the one that cares the most is the one that might get on your nerves. Most people won't give a d@mn.0
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I feel the same toward my mother. Just because she gave birth to me, doesn't mean she can treat me like garbage. I'm sorry, I'm a grown adult with a child of my own and I deserve to be respected too!
You're not evil and you're not alone! 0 -
I love my mother
But....she definitely has her favourite child....and it certainly ain't me. I'm bottom of her list. It's not too bad if I'm on my own with her.....but I'm virtually ignored if my brother or sisters (or, God forbid...all of them together) are there...... 0 -
Oy, these posts about family and past issues are making me sad. :brokenheart:
I once hated my mom as well. It didn't make me a bad person. I blamed her alot for my crappy childhood with good reason. After much digging and soul searching, I have forgiven my mother. I still question alot but I have chosen to not be angry with anybody, even those that have hurt me the most.
You're not an evil person.0 -
Well, I guess it depends on what exactly she has done to you. Personally, I don't hate anyone. I find it is less stress for me if I just let go of the hate. Of course, there are people that I could hate (evil stepfather) & I guess I did at one point in time but not anymore.0
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Yep, I get the same reactions.
But I honestly, really don't give a damn!
My thoughts exactly!0 -
WWFS?
What Would Freud Say? Haha... I think it depends on the circumstance(s). I believe there are lots of people who have been so incredibly injured by either of their parents that hating them would be justifiable. But, just hating them for trying hard to be good parents and disciplining within reason... or for being thin, or having grey hair, etc... then no. It's not ok.0 -
No. My mother never liked me and she never concealed it. For all of my childhood, I tried like everything to make that woman like me & treat me like my friends' mothers treated them. NO. As I got older & started having children, we saw less of each other, my children didn't even know her. Regardless, she called my kids' school & reported me for child abuse - tried to get them removed from my home! THAT is when I called her and told her what I think of her. It was the last time we ever spoke. Ever.
She died without speaking to me. She terrorized my aunts & that side of my family so that they avoided me too. At that witch's funeral, my Aunts & cousins agreed it was good she's dead. 'ding dong the witch is dead' and we can be a family again
so no, you don't have to like someone just cause she's your mother0 -
I don't like mine much. She almost died 6 years ago and it made me realize that I do still love her but I don't have to like her. She suffered brain damage as a results of that accident and has been in a home ever since. I don't feel guilty about not visiting her because she was a **** mother....0
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I hear you hunny! I have not spoken with my mother in 18 years now. With one exception! She phoned me to tell me my Grandmother had died (My Granny Mac was more of a Mother to me than my so called mother was) When I asked when the funeral was she said "Yesterday" !! I hung up on her.
She spent most of my childhood making me feel inferior, scared and unwanted. Motherhood is supposed to inspire deep undying love and devotion to children. Sometimes it goes wrong. Sometimes people are just not meant to have kids.
But Halina that does NOT mean you are a bad person! You were brought into the world by a woman who for some reason you don't get on with and has not given you the love and care you need.
I understand your feelings babes. xoxox Have you spoken to anybody about this?
I got counselling and it made me realise that it was not my fault! PM me if you want to chat babes. xoxox0 -
You are not evil. I do not have a good relationship with my mom - but I do not say I hate her. I just choose to not allow her toxic behavior to influence my life. I call her for birthdays, etc but otherwise I just choose to keep our lives separate so I can eliminate unnecessary drama in my life.0
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Any female with the right working parts can be a mother but that doesn't make her loveable. There are some really horrible people out there, many of them who shouldn't be raising children. Some of these people do horrible things to their children and abuse them emotionally or physically. I can easily see how a child could grow up hating such a parent and I don't think that makes the child any less of a good person for it.0
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I used to hate my mother. Now that I don't (her behavior, yes) I feel so much better! I refuse to let anyone have that much power over me!0
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You are right, being a mother does not automatically make you a great person. Some mothers are horrible to their children and then expect them to stick by them just because they gave birth to them. My mother is like that. For her, it's a mind game. I don't blame you one bit. You are definitly not a bad person!0
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Well, I'm in the same situation... My mom is still in "1820 is a good year" kind off mentality... Nothing i have ever done or ever will do is good enough for her... If things aren't done her way, then she doesn't speak to you... She's the advocate to "conditional love"... I swear... She used to hang out with my 3 kids, but now since they are older, and she has no "control" over them, then she doesn't spend time with them... I always tell her, "don't regret the day after tomm, when your grandkids dont want tohave anything to do with you"... its your fault... She's gone as far as to tell my daughter that " she will not come to any family functions"... How funny I always see her at them... (just not mine)... she also has told me that she "doesn't reply to email"... Really, funny bc everyone else in the family tells me otherwise... So, its all about not having control over me... Oh well, tooo bad soo sad.. .been doing it alone for half my life, its not like im missing much...
I feel for you... I hope that either she changes or you just move on...0 -
I don't know that I hate my mother, but I sure as heck do not like her. She's a very unhappy person who has chosen me as the recipient of her unhappiness. Her and I have never really gotten along, but it has all come to head in the last few months.
Just because she is your mother does not mean she automatically gets your undying love and devotion to her. Sorry, but not all moms are sunshine and roses. Her giving birth to me doesn't mean I have to allow her to get away with treating me in a mean, cruel manner. It doesn't make it okay.
So. To answer your question - no, you aren't a bad person for hating your mother. Not all mothers are equal.0 -
Does it? Are you meant to love your mother no matter how much of a b***ch she is? My mother is exactly that, but when I say I dont care about her people go like "but she is your mother! how can you be so callous!", like being a mother automatically made her wonderful. Is there anyone out there who is in a situation like that? Or am I just plain evil? :devil:
my mom is a drug addict and has been since i was about 6 or so. i even was eventually taken away from her by the state of florida and put in a group home. i hated her for many years, but having hate in your heart only hurts yourself. letting that hate go is one of the best things i've done for myself. you have to let that **** go.
that being said, if the only thing that bothers you about her is a bad attitude or something, let her know you won't be around her until she can be pleasant. that may be the best choice.0 -
You should always love her, but it doesn't mean you should tolerate her crap.0
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Is this a serious question?
Ofcourse hating your mother is bad. She gave birth to you. Without her, you wouldn't be here! She deserves more respect than that.
There are obviously some issues between you which I'm sure can be sorted out.
I can't believe some of the answers people gave to this question!0 -
i feel exactly the same way.. i do not get a long with my mother.. she has caused lots of pain in my life and etc.. but i dont care what people think.. i have very little to do with her anymore.. but then again, i dont hate her.. but i cannot deal with her or like being around her..0
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