I need support - 239 pounds
ItsMeTy
Posts: 13 Member
I’m 239 pounds. My goal is 199 pounds. I’m only 5’3 so this can’t be good for my frame. I need some support. My husband keeps making fun of my efforts. I know that I should ignore him but it still stings. 
Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance!
Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance! 10
Replies
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Ignore your hubby....my husband can be the same way. Just do it for you, not for anyone else. You can do it!5
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Read the posts for newbies - take it 1 day at a time - and my mantra is "Every day is a new day for success!" Also get some friends to keep you motivated! I'll be one if you'd like!3
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I started @ 248, and i'm now 223 (since Feb 23). A big thing that feels different for me this time is I am making this an entirely personal journey. I am not looking for motivation any other place than inside myself. I have had pressure from family members to do it their way, or hear their comments, or try and make me feel bad about sticking to my goals and setting healthy boundaries, but its not about them. It's about me.
It's not easy to ignore someone like that, maybe you could just tell him you aren't asking him to be your cheerleader, but you'd appreciate if he didn't comment at all if he can't say something nice.3 -
I’m 239 pounds. My goal is 199 pounds. I’m only 5’3 so this can’t be good for my frame. I need some support. My husband keeps making fun of my efforts. I know that I should ignore him but it still stings. Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance!
We're height twins! I was 254lbs when I started. This is very doable.
Start with small sustainable changes. Stuff you can stick with. After I plugged my stats into MFP and told it I wanted to lose 1lb per week (I didn't want to go as aggressive as I safely could with a 2lb/week loss), I resolved to do two things differently: keep my homemade desserts to 200 calories or fewer per serving, and devote 25 minutes daily to either walking or the fitness glider in the basement. That was it.
Over time, I started paying more attention to protein, iron, and fiber. I upped my exercise. Added strength training. But all that came later. Initially, just focus on one or two things you can adhere to. Don't take on too much too fast. Understand that this is a marathon; not a sprint. Don't give this everything you have in the first two weeks.
The only other thing that I'll tell you is that motivation is nice, but discipline is essential. Some days, you're not going to be enthused about this. You may feel like you're burning out, like you're tired of tracking, don't want to exercise, whatever. If that happens, and you can't push through it, a day off isn't the end of the world. But get back on track the next day. (And you'll probably feel better if you do something on that day off. A shorter walk; eating maintenance calories instead of deficit, so you won't wipe out the week's progress.) While we're on the subject, a 1-2 week maintenance break every 8 weeks or so is often helpful.
You've got this.9 -
I'm around the same weight as you. It's so discouraging and depressing! I have failed MANY times before but I have GOT to succeed this time. I am doing mostly clean eating (like Whole 30) and trying to add in exercise. I feel like my hubby is skeptical of my efforts too. We've got this!1
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Hey girl,
Same height, same starting weight, 20 pounds down. It has been gradual, and that has been fine. Everybody has their own needs and approaches. For me what has been successful, and more important, DIFFERENT this time is that I don't have my eyes on an end weight or a timetable or making any radical changes. My eyes are on changing my habits just a little bit at a time, in easy, manageable ways. (YMMV)
Logging zealously on MFP is the first and, many would agree, the most important step. I started logging with no specific intention about changes, but once you see what you are taking in and putting out, it creates that nudge to make changes, and once I knew what I was doing every day it wasn't that hard to set a goal, like a calorie goal, that was a *little* better than what I was doing before. Any improvement is improvement. If it takes a year or two or three, that's a whole lot better than trying to instantly become somebody you aren't and not getting there or being able to stay there.
Husbands can be a great source of support or not, but in my own case, after 23 years of marriage, I have learned that ultimately it's all me. You don't even have to talk about it with him. Just do your thing. Log your food and exercise (fitbit for the win!) and make your choices. It ain't about anybody but you.
And know that there are THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of people right there with you for support and encouragement over here!
Suzanna1 -
Not a cool move by hubby, and I hesitate to defend but as man I suspect he is just trying to "help".... But you need to do this for you and no one else... that said "doing it for ####" for motivation has merit, reward yourself1
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I would tell hubby that you need his support. His love for you should motivate him to be supportive. Be honest with him.4
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Well, first your husband needs a talking to! Maybe explain to him that the teasing is hurtful and you truly need his love and support. It can be overwhelming when you start this journey, so take it slow and be kind to yourself.4
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You have gotten some real good advice. Follow it. Looks like you have also found some good friends to help. Best of luck!1
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I’m 239 pounds. My goal is 199 pounds. I’m only 5’3 so this can’t be good for my frame. I need some support. My husband keeps making fun of my efforts. I know that I should ignore him but it still stings. Any suggestions on how to start? Thanks in advance!
Start by starting. Focus on you to the point of deafness when your husband gets like that. Background noise. The sound of teachers talking in the Peanuts cartoons. At a good moment have a heart to heart with him.
My suggestions, which are not in any way the only way or choices: Maybe start with water. Your weight, divided in half, converted into ounces. A couple days of that, and you'll probably feel more energized and see you can reach goals. An easy movement goal to start out is 250 steps an hour, which can be done with simple household chores, a walk around the block will probably exceed it, pacing in your house. You can do it in under 3 minutes, and you'll lower your risk of disease just in that easily doable routine. Commit to that most hours of the day. All the water can help you with that one, too.
Anyhow, I'd be happy to friend you.1 -
Thanks to all of you for your support! I am actually 248 pounds, not 239 like I thought. A little disheartening but I know that I can’t let it get to me. I will start, no matter what husband thinks. Thanks again!5
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I don’t see why you should ignore your husband. Tell him to put a sock in it. And mean it.
Then make this work. It’s the only way out.4 -
Welcome to the community!
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I mean, unless you married for convenience or money, or you're a noble from a small country who wed to make an alliance, theoretically you married your husband for love. He loves you back I assume.
So don't ignore him, tell him to knock it the heck off. Losing weight is hard enough with getting crapped on by people who should be supporting us. Your husband gets some serious angry side eye from me for being a jerk to you. It's time for a Feelings Talk where he gets told to shove his bad attitude up his nose.5 -
We all talk about getting support from each other ..our spouse..kids.. parents. But, truth is it is your journey and just go it alone... don't hinge your success or your start on getting approval from everyone, Many times we don't get it..so you must do it just for you.
You are ready to make a change.. you've got some great advice here.. just start,,learn,.,forgive yourself when you slip up..and just stick with it and do it for yourself.2 -
That stinks that hubby is not supportive. Take it one day at a time and start going on walks and making healthier choices. I’m starting all over again myself and it’s a struggle but I’m determined!0
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I'd say talk to him and tell him it hurts, and ask him if he wants to join you in working out. That way you would have a workout buddy and you guys can motivate each other.1
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I definitely think a conversation is overdue with the OH as he probably doesn't realise how stinging his comments are, even if he is not the complimenting supportive type, it doesn't help to demotivate someone so perhaps suggest that he not comment on it at all and let you go about it.
My weigh in this morning was 239.4lbs although I've a lot of muscle from strength training and rowing and I'm a few inches taller, still feel free to add me.
As for how to get started, set yourself a reasonable rate of loss (not necessarily the fastest) better to lose 40lbs over 40 weeks and keep it off because you've learned how to include the things you enjoy in moderation than be super-restrictive for 20 weeks, try to incorporate things you've missed and go OTT and back-slide.0 -
So sorry your hubby is that way. I know what it’s like. I’m about 3 inches taller than you but I also weigh about 25 pounds more. As other people have said just take things one day at a time. That’s how I’m trying to.0
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Our loved ones are the ones whose words hurt the most. Mine was used to me cooking and eating in ways that supported a heavier weight. None of us like change and I don’t think he understood that I no longer put priority on my former eating habits and now have new goals. He would buy me chocolate and not understand why I didn’t want it. He isn’t interested in changing his eating habits, so I’m not asking him to. I make sure I have the tools I need to stay successful. Sometimes I cook higher calorie meals that I would really enjoy for my family. But I know I can’t limit my portion sizes and opt for a frozen meal while my kids and husband enjoy the higher calorie meal. He often offers me food that doesn’t meet my goals. I’ve practiced saying “no thank you”. I don’t think he always understands, but after over a year he has grown to see that I mean it. So he doesn’t push food anymore. Is your husband afraid that your weight loss journey will impact him in some way? Or do you feel like he is just being mean?3
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Same height,but started at 305lbs down to 232 as of this morning.So IT CAN happen.
I say practice talking yourself out of negative self talk.
Practice mindful eating.Make time to comfortably enjoy and eat your meals.
It takes me 20 min to feel full and I don’t realize that if I am eating while driving.
Don’t negate any hard work or effort you are giving. IGNORE your husband.
I say slowly stop eating high density caloric foods aka junk food.Replacing them with LOTS of fruits and veggies.
Good luck and add me for support if you need or want it♥️
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Hey girl! Same height although I'm a bit bigger 235. I'm sorry to hear your hubby isn't so supportive! If you want add me as a friend cuz I need more support also. My hubby says he supports me but his junk food collection and resistance to healthy meals say otherwise.1
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meganhirschi31886 wrote: »Hey girl! Same height although I'm a bit bigger 235. I'm sorry to hear your hubby isn't so supportive! If you want add me as a friend cuz I need more support also. My hubby says he supports me but his junk food collection and resistance to healthy meals say otherwise.
I meant 245 sorry0 -
Thanks for all your help and support! I really appreciate it.1
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You can do it I used to weigh 230lbs, got down to 120lb and I kept it off for years no one would ever know I was once obese. If I could do it anyone sure you can too. I’m only upto 160 at the moment because I had a baby a few months ago but my husband makes fat jokes at me too I just accept that I’m currently not at my ideal weight but I’m working on it even if sometimes I give in to cravings.0
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Pogostickers wrote: »Find something you love to do that is part of your exercise routine. I love swimming so I took up water aerobics. I really love it. Now that COVID19 is here, I can't go to my usual water aerobics class so I adjusted my routines...I walk my dogs Toodles twice a day. I am now doing Yoga and Kettlenetics (cardio w/ KBell). I like it. I started out super slow and I'm just working my way slowly to where I want to be...
Also, as a survivor, I'd say that your husband needs to change his tune because its not teasing anymore its called ABUSE. (I wasted 5 yrs of my life with that. NEVER again)
I wouldn’t assume someone is abusive only from not having much hope for a diet or joking. Some people totally don’t think it’s possible to keep off weight off. Maybe he is just as concerned about her weight but doesn’t know how to show it. Not everyone knows how to be supportive and everyone wants different support anyway. I just don’t think we should be judging anyone so severely from our iPhones since we are playing that game maybe don’t encourage physical violence as retaliation against strangers because that says more about you.0 -
I started out at 269... I am now 244.2...You are welcome to add me .... and please ignore your hubby.... you do you ...you got this
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Wow you sure showed me lolPogostickers wrote: »LOL Oh Please! Severely, You know Nothing about me
Don't Troll Me.1 -
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