Anyone Else “Vet” Friend Requests?
springlering62
Posts: 8,407 Member
I’ve had to decline a few friend requests and had to delete some friends who made me uncomfortable.
So now I search the user name of the potential friend to make sure they are active - even if only a little bit - on the forums, and what type of posts they make, type of photos, negativity, etc
Anyone else doing this?
So now I search the user name of the potential friend to make sure they are active - even if only a little bit - on the forums, and what type of posts they make, type of photos, negativity, etc
Anyone else doing this?
20
Replies
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Yep. I'm not interested in collecting MFPals for the sake of numbers. My friend list is at 79, and I've been here active for 5 years.12
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Yes!!2
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I didn't at first, but have started doing so recently. It would be nice if you could curate your feed a little more to avoid seeing similar posts many times over2
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Look at my profile
I don't do 'friends', yet still get many requests. Which I just ignore. 10 -
I vet every request that I get. I rarely add friends these days.6
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Given that there's not much identifying info in my profile, I generally accept and then I just delete again if they are weird.18
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No, if they get weird or don't say much I end up deleting them.1
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Not in the past - but I probably won't accept any more requests from male members unless its someone I've interacted with here in the forums. I'm here for weight loss, fitness/health improvements and to support others on a similar path. Not looking for any sort of 'relationship'.13
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I just don't accept friend requests. I had way too many weirdos early on.
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I am terrible. I ignore all requests. Mostly because I know I'm not very active in the friendship department. I'd be terrible at responding to messages etc so you're better off without me12
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Absolutely! I get a lot requests, but I'm rarely accepting people these days and I never send out requests.
I have a really great group of pals at the moment, but I'm always culling if it's no longer a fit for me.
I've been on here for over 7 years and have made some wonderful friends from here both online and offline.
In my life no one is into health, fitness and nutrition as much as I am so it's wonderful to chat with other like-minded people. Especially those who have lost a lot of weight and have kept it off like I have.12 -
I accept them all but don't ever talk outside of the forums and don't post things on my page so I don't know what others get out of it.10
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I accept them all but don't ever talk outside of the forums and don't post things on my page so I don't know what others get out of it.
so you're the kind of friend who doesn't contribute
I love my newsfeed being newsy and chatty but its like everything, you gotta contribute to get anything out of it....just saying ;-) 7 -
LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »I accept them all but don't ever talk outside of the forums and don't post things on my page so I don't know what others get out of it.
so you're the kind of friend who doesn't contribute I love my newsfeed being newsy and chatty but its like everything, you gotta contribute to get anything out of it....just saying ;-)
true, but I also don't send requests. and I don't get anything out of contributing, so I don't...not there, anyway.14 -
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No, no vetting because I don't "friend" on MFP yet I'm friendly in the public forums. While I think my profile says this, I still get occasional requests. At that point, if they're active on the forums then I'll tend to cheer on their recent posts.6
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I just decline them all. I'm not even sure of the purpose of friends on a message board.9
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Have a list of fr.. some just random request.. I just leave it there. Have only handfull of friends .
If interact with them on forum.. I might add...3 -
I just decline them all. I'm not even sure of the purpose of friends on a message board.
I like to see how others are doing - it helps keep me motivated, though I'm not sure why.
I don't vet, really. But I don't accept friend requests unless they are accompanied by a message (and I tend to delete inactive friends). I think I have less than 30 'friends' here, and most of them I've had for quite a while.1 -
I usually will accept with a message or if I recognize them from the forums. If they have an ED and /or post dangerous things I will delete them since that is not constructive for my feed.
Otherwise I leave it. I am terrible with letting them accumulate and forget to check them though, I have like 345 in my inbox.4 -
I will add folks when a request comes in, yet very picky on deciding who I keep around after about 2 weeks. If you aren't willing to share your diary and don't interact pretty much daily, then I will delete them. It's nothing personal, it's only I dont need folks around me who arent 200% into this. Sounds harsh, sorry.5
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Yes. I pretty much accept all requests, but don't accept requests from men who have lots and lots of female friends with cute profile pics (but no or vanishingly few male ones). Those are the ones with the highest likelihood that they'll be sending PMs with iffy to inappropriate come-ons, IMO. (Yes, even to their internet granny 🙄 . . . granny don't play that game. 🤣).
If it's borderline, I check their forum history.
I'm not at all a good "MFP friend" (don't post much in the status feed, don't reply much to others there, though I try to respond to direct questions people put right on my profile page, and I understand that some people will send a FR in order to send a PM - I do answer PMs, if they're actual questions, not come-ons; and I've told some people to FR me if they want to see what I eat for protein, as a vegetarian).14 -
Yup. I really don't need flattering correspondence from members of the opposite sex. I'm here for weight loss discussions not for social enrichment.7
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I'm happy to chat in the forums, but I don't add friends on MFP. Why?
Having done this before, I know I need to be 100% honest with my diary to myself, and I'm not going to do that if other people are looking. And if you don't share your diaries with your friends, I'm not sure what the point is.
I also sometimes like to complete my diary before I'm done, just to get a feel for that (inaccurate) 5-week prediction and what harm it would do if I did/didn't eat something - I don't want people liking my "you have completed your weight loss diary" notifications if they're not 'real.'
Losing weight is hard enough, I can't put up any unnecessary barriers for myself. Not everyone feels the same way, and some people genuinely find it easier with MFP friends, but that's one of the great things about this site/app. We all use it in slightly different ways, to arrive at a solution that works for us individually. For me, it's not adding people but being open to engaging on the forums.17 -
I just do a blanket delete of all requests 😂8
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Honestly, it depends on my mood. I'm more likely to delete someone after the fact, for various reasons. Now on facebook I vet a lot more, lol
I edited to add but then it disappeared. The long and short of it is I dont care about diaries or workouts, and I share a fair amount of pics of my dogs, in particular my great pyrenees.
All my fun cool friends have left over time, so if you like dog pics.... come on by lol4 -
Lynnsgoals2020 wrote: »I will add folks when a request comes in, yet very picky on deciding who I keep around after about 2 weeks. If you aren't willing to share your diary and don't interact pretty much daily, then I will delete them. It's nothing personal, it's only I dont need folks around me who arent 200% into this. Sounds harsh, sorry.
This (except I don’t care about the diary sharing). I try to keep my friend list to approximately one page but I accept everyone and actively seek out people who interest me. But I also regularly delete people. No hard feelings but if I’m not having positive interactions with you then I’m getting nothing out of having you as my “friend” so I clear out the space.thelastnightingale wrote: »Having done this before, I know I need to be 100% honest with my diary to myself, and I'm not going to do that if other people are looking. And if you don't share your diaries with your friends, I'm not sure what the point is.
I couldn’t care less if strangers see what I ate but I’m pretty sure very very few people ever look at my diary. I certainly don’t usually bother to look at anyone else’s. I must admit when I enter things it never crosses my mind to wonder if other people will read it.
But as someone else said a nice aspect of MFP is that you can use it however suits you.
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I would not accept a request without a message unless it is from someone with whom I am very familiar from the forums - and these people send messages anyway.
I rarely look at my feed and note in my profile that I am a terrible "feed friend."2 -
I ignore my feed, but occasionally I accept friends if I (1) recognize them and don't want to hurt their feelings (this is bad, I should tell them I just don't interact on the feed but would love to be supportive on the forum); and (2) want to exchange PMs with them, since it seems like PMs are not always delivered if those involved are not friends.2
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