How to explain this to hubby?

Amazing - not only have you reached your goal, you did so while doing something truly noble! Fair play! I agree with Motorsheen and with a few others too - Cooking does not have to be boring you can cook together, find a recipe for a dish you would normally order in and get busy! Take-away is very often far duller than you recall! Also - enjoy the reunion

I do go out to eat and to parties but I plan ahead and actually decide what I want.. Log it before I go and stick to it. Stick to light beers and hard seltzers if you want to have a drink .. or just diet soda or water. You don't have to drink to have a good time. Here is another idea. If your husband wants to order out use the half rule. Take half your dinner and put it in a container as soon as you get it. Eat half and have the other half for lunch the next day. I bought an air fryer toaster oven so I can make a lot of the favorite take out foods at home but much healthier. I love playing with the recipes and making them light. Tonight I made a Mexican meal that was less than 300 calories a serving and my son never noticed it was a diet dinner. It can be done.. You're doing great already just keep on doing what you're doing but you don't have to stop living just because you want to lose weight.

Super! Congrats on reaching your goal weight.

I a lesson years ago when I gave up up smoking. Life around me went on the way it always did. People still smoked, they did not care that I didn't. It was me who had to adjust, not the people around me. "Permanent results, require permanent changes."

Make a plan, accept the fact that you are not perfect (but damn close to it) and enjoy life to the fullest -in moderation of course.

I have lost 156 pounds. I love(d) going out for dinner and very often asked the chef for help when I couldn't find anything that suited not just my taste, but also my health-based dietary restrictions. As for alcohol. Enjoy it in moderation.

Congratulations on your success. I do sympathise with your situation. My husband and I were also apart for over three months. After a splurge after Easter, I managed to get into a really good routine of eating within my limits and exercising daily. Now we are back together he is plying me with wine and lovely cocktails! Also, although restaurants are still shut so that we cook a lot together, it is harder to weigh everything when we do, and his idea of a small portion and mine are often somewhat out of synch. Plus I still need to establish my exercise routine again. I have been refelcting on how hard it is to change the patterns of a relationship, and particularly of what defines a treat. I wish you luck!

katicasi82 wrote: »

Leezy55 wrote: »

Well I went to visit in-laws in Chicago for a month. True foodies that eat out every single night! No fast food just good restaurants including celebrity level. They truly loved taking us out and enjoying all the different neighborhood restaurants. After 2 nights I figured I just couldn't do it. So what I did was 1. ordered from the appetizer menu. My best appetizer was at an Italian place i had a 3 meatball dish, large meatballs almost the size of tennis balls with grated mozzarella and a glass of wine. 2. Other times I stuck to lean chicken dishes, no sauces just grill types. 3. Omelettes. The dishes tended to be large so I made it a point if it looked high calorie I ate half and took the other half home for my husband to have for lunch the next day. They also tended to buy fresh baked cookies every couple days. I tried to do a lot of walking to burn off calories. FYI they are all super thin if they gained 10-20 lbs they would still be in normal range! Difficult part was staying away from the bread basket. Remember food isn't the problem it's amount.
Hope your husband appreciates your accomplishment.

HOW???? If I ate like that I'd be dead!

Well interestingly enough it was definitely a learning experience for me. First we are all retired so time is on our side. Mode of transportation was by foot. The closest restaurant was about 4 blocks away and the furthest was about 2 miles one way. Basically they never order anything white as in pasta, bread, chips, fries, pizza... it was always a lean protein and a vegetable. This is when I turned on to roasted brussel sprouts. Rare the alcohol and never dessert. Even the Mexican restaurant was some sort of grilled meat for them not me, I went for the usual combo plate! In addition no sauces, salad dressings...avoided the bread/chip basket. Which of course left me to all the chips and bread!
The front door was up 48 stairs! Personally I would have consolidated my trips but they went down for the morning newspaper then down for the mail then down for the gym(3xwk/home gym 2xwk)then down for shopping lugging bags, coffee roaster about a mile away once a week then the bakery for bread and cookies about 1.5 miles. Then end of day dinner. So no less than walking 48 stairs 4x a day and about no less than 5 miles a day walking for errands plus a little more walking for pleasure. Even walked downtown twice at 10 miles round trip. After that we said we were taking the bus! Breakfast was a pot of coffee and toast or cookie, piece of fruit and no lunch or sometimes a little piece of cheese. Only sugar were the cookies, no ice cream, candy, cake... I did do a solo afternoon walk maybe 2 miles and actually came out of it without gaining weight, but I think it was the constant activity that kept it all in control for me.
That's when I realized how much crap I was eating and started making nutritional changes. We are in the burbs and don't have access to eateries without driving and even the trendy restaurants have don't have enough lean choices. And they are all healthy as far as no cholesterol issues, diabetes, HBP... So go figure, I guess it can be done.

Congratulations on reaching your goal! When he notices that you've shrunk tell it's because you eat & drink differently now. Say it not defiantly but confidently. It will take a time for him to realize all that means. When he offers something you don't want, just decline politely. Take the time to weigh & measure portions without reservation. Demonstrate that when eating & drinking your new way you can both have a good time. Calm any fears about how his life might suffer from your new way of eating & drinking. We guys can be egocentric & selfish. He may worry about what this could cost him. Whether it's laughs, sex, companionship, or whatever, make sure he understands that he'll love you just the way you are now!

You said this would be like a mini honeymoon. Do you think he will see it that way, in terms of it being like doing the things you might do on a vacation, where it might be OK to splurge a bit. Or will it be more like going back to what he expected normal practice might be once you are back together long term?

CeeBeeSlim wrote: »

@Talan79 I was123.2 today!!!! Can you believe it?! I’m gonna try and see if 121 is doable! And you’re right. I’m just so afraid that after the pizza and wine, I’ll have a taste for Thai, then sushi, then Ethiopian, then Dominican.., etc - being in NY all of these and more are in like a three block radius!! So maybe it’s not just him - maybe it’s my fear of not being able to control myself once I have one indulgent meal.

@richardgavel - I think in the short term it will be a splurge - ordering in from our fav restaurants. Then maybe a twice a week ordering in from the places we like. I plan to tell him - which I expect to be the truth - that the sodium won’t agree with me. I have sooooo cut down on salt that anything with salt now tastes like the sea!

If that's the plan, then some kind of calorie banking approach might suit you. Personally, I eat maybe 150ish calories under maintenance most days, then spend those extra calories on indulgence once a week or so. Some people do 5:2 intermittent fasting to lose weight (5 days maintenance calories, 2 days at around 500 or some such low number); one could do a more moderate version for maintenance, if it worked well for them.

I feel like figuring out how to tailor one's habits to one's preferences and needs is part of what it takes for successful weight maintenance. Lots of different variations are possible; the question is which one(s) fit best.

Similar situation, different perspective. In January my dad had a heart attack, I was on FMLA 900 miles away taking care of my father for three months. I quit drinking and all my other bad habits while my dad recovered. I told my wife that I stopped drinking and started paying attention to my health again. I got home in march right when quarantines really started. I still haven't had a drink in 136 days, she supports my decision - she hasn't drank either but I never asked her not to. If my wife wants to drink, she can drink all she wants, I choose not to and she supports me. My focus on my health has influenced her, she got herself an underdesk elliptical while she is working at home and does that while she is in her meetings.

My wife and I have the support of one another, we love each other for who we are, not for drinking with each other I am sure your husband will be just fine with your decision. I don't expect my wife not to drink, I would never tell her what to do though - she made that choice on her own and its been nice but not necessary. She is not bugging me to go to restaurants, but she does ask me to weigh my own food LOL that is our compromise - she wont weight her or my food but she is more conscience what she is putting in her body through osmosis.