Emotional Eating or stress eating
Naz_2020
Posts: 79 Member
I turn to food when I am sad. I turn to food when I am stressed or even when I am angry. This is something that has been causing a lot of problem in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Since I am at home and relaxed, I can focus on healthy eating, cooking healthy meals and stuff.. I am worried that I will lose my focus again. How do I fight that? I started dieting last year in July and lost a few kilos but something bad happened and I lost my focus. I gained all that weight back. It took me almost a year to realize that I need to go back to healthy eating. This keeps happening. Sometimes I just don't know how to control myself. Anyone else who goes through this?
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Replies
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It can be really hard, but I try to channel sadness or anger into exercise instead. Sometimes just going for a walk or a bike ride relaxes me and gives me time alone to sort out my thoughts. It doesn't work every time, but usually I come back feeling better about things.6
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Thanks 🙂1
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I've not always had the best relationship with food so I do get what you are saying. I also use exercise as stress management. So important at the moment, even though lockdown is over, every day is still the same and it's like groundhog day in our house. I used to have a punchbag which really helped me (ha!) but any exercise will work (walking with music is my current thing).
Also what about yoga or meditation? I haven't had time for yoga (which I loved) since lockdown, I used to do it every day. But if you are short on time, meditation definitely 'works' for stress management. Although it's not a quick fix. I found once I reduced my stress I was less prone to eating crap. I still binge occasionally, but it's much, much less now. But I've also stopped buying things I can binge on, so if something bad happens I have to get off my backside to go out and buy it! I used to think binging was some sort of reward for feeling so utterly utterly *kitten* and that it helped me cope, but actually, I was basically eating to punish myself for my bad feelings. And it made things worse because I'd soon feel guilty on top of it. Hope you can find something to help!
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Totally agree with what you said. I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.5
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I am trying to change this attitude of mine. I can't really fill up that emotional void with food.4
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Something I have found really useful is identifying something else to do when you feel the urge to binge. I use colouring as a coping mechanism. Bought a whole bunch of colouring books and some nice colouring pencils and just colour away when I feel that urge. It usually disappears after about 20 minutes. Plus, you can use the quiet time to process what’s happening in your brain and work out what’s leading you to want to binge.6
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Right! An alternative to channel all the emotions to is required.1
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Something I have found really useful is identifying something else to do when you feel the urge to binge. I use colouring as a coping mechanism. Bought a whole bunch of colouring books and some nice colouring pencils and just colour away when I feel that urge. It usually disappears after about 20 minutes. Plus, you can use the quiet time to process what’s happening in your brain and work out what’s leading you to want to binge.
Love a good colouring book! Haven't had any time for that for ages, but a v. good suggestion
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nazah_sakin wrote: »I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.
It's a vicious circle isn't it. Does it make you happy though? when you're eating it? Once I started actually thinking about it I found that I wasn't even really enjoying it. So if I wasn't enjoying it 'in the moment' and I didn't feel any better afterwards, why would I do it? (Although logic isn't high on the agenda when you feel that way). I am trying to adjust my mindset from it being a reward to a punishment - and think 'I shouldn't make myself feel worse by eating all this crap' and 'eating this won't make me feel better, only worse' etc.
I think being aware of it is the first stage - and then changing it is the next. There are definitely other things I can do which will make me feel better- and for me at least, chocolate wasn't the fix I ever wanted (or needed) it to be. Which is probably just as well!
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It's a whole different problem to mindlessly opening the fridge or cupboard and thinking ''Mmmm...What can I have", because if you've always relied on food as a coping strategy for tough times, then you somehow need to find a new strategy, then consistently apply it, and at a point when you are feeling at your lowest. It's not easy to change your entire relationship with food - to see it just as 'fuel' when society ties it in with so many other things, socialising, celebrations and family events and so on, but that is my aim. I'm not there yet though!
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I have done the same thing all my life. Eventually I realized that there are a lot of things in my life I have no control over, but I do control what I put in my mouth and whether or not I exercise. The more out of control my life seems to be, the more important it is to me to focus on the things I can control. That can go too far, but since I still love to eat, I've kept it within bounds. If you can't, you might try counseling to get some help in learning how to make the healthy choices your mind wants to make.4
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Thanks 🙂1
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I use to eat even when I'm happy. Send me a friend request and we can help each other. I dont know how or I would. I love food, I eat when I'm bored but I learned how to stop it2
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meditation helps me alot and prayer. I know its a weird combo but it worked for me. I get real bad anxiety and prayer alone wasn't working. I needed the meditation to quiet my mind. both help me find contentment everyday.2
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Specially in this pandemic time, my anxiety level went really up. I try this breathing exercise whenever anxiety strikes in.2
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MichelleBriards wrote: »I use to eat even when I'm happy. Send me a friend request and we can help each other. I dont know how or I would. I love food, I eat when I'm bored but I learned how to stop it
That's great! I am still working on mine. MFP has been helpful0 -
nazah_sakin wrote: »Totally agree with what you said. I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.
Why *does* binge eating make us happy??? I'm exactly the same way.
I live to eat instead of the opposite. I wake up thinking about food and go to sleep thinking about food. It has become an obsession now. I rely on it to calm my nerves, fill a void, substitute for (fill in the blank here) anything and everything else that I'm missing in my life. Last year I had solid important goals, got down to low BMI(130# for me), exercised every day, counted calories, the whole 9 yards. Then the holidays came, I slipped a bit but climbed back on(and off) until Covid became a huge thing. Stress increased. Then my sister's dh sadly went from 1 stage of his Alzheimers to the next and I have since become a caretaker and respite provider for them. They're constantly on my mind now and my stress and worry level is through the roof.
I handle it with food. Not healthy food, but anything junky that I can get my hands on. I am now up into the 150's with no signs of stopping. No mind control that I had all of last year. No self-esteem. No will to do this.
Just sharing my story and feelings to let you know you're not alone in your struggles. I like all the ideas coming forth but the first thing you need(and ME TOO) is to get your mind committed to the journey that will help control your relationship with food. I felt so strong logging everything on to MFP. It did help. Until it didn't.
Good luck and hope you can find the power within yourself to change, if this isn't who you want to be. We all have some sort of an escape, something that soothes us and eases our souls. I wish exercise was mine but I'm much too lazy for that. Mine seem to be carbs, sugar, crap food. 
One suggestion is to check out the volume eater's thread.7 -
nazah_sakin wrote: »Totally agree with what you said. I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.
You totally deserve to do something that makes you happy. However my question is does a binge make you happy if you feel worse after it? Or does it make you have a dopamine hit briefly and overall make you feel worse?
I used to think eating made me happy and you know what in some ways it does - sharing a delicious meal with friends etc. But only when the cost benefit is in the right direction.
I've found yoga is a great activity. I do yoga with Adriene and there's a great one called "yoga for vulnerability" and when I'm feeling all overwhelmed etc I will do this and often have a bit of a cry on the yoga mat whilst doing it but I feel better after.
I also find "OK if you really want that then why not tomorrow when you have some calories for it?" and often tomorrow I don't want it but if I do then I have it.2 -
Thank you guys. You are right if it's gonna make us feel worse later, it is not happiness. When I am struggling emotionally, food seems like a way out which it's not. I do realize that. I am trying to change that by diverting my mind to other stuffs. One of the things that's working for me is sharing my experiences and reading others experiences as well. All these success stories, their struggles too are so inspiring. It might not be the same after 2-3 months. What I am trying to do is make friends here with similar goals and struggles. We can pick each other up. We can share and support each other. I tried alone previously, now gonna give a try to this community thing. Let's hope for the best!1
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I think this is my 3rd time using MFP and last time lost 16kg, although was nowhere near goal weight. I took a break for pregnancy, then it turned into a hugely emotionally difficult pregnancy, a birth where baby ended up in intensive care, and a raft of medical problems being discovered with baby since. I have gained back 14kg between 'taking a break' and now.
I decided to start looking after myself again and bam! 3 days in, another problem is found with baby and I eat everything in sight. I feel worse about the situation now, than when I was shovelling food in, and I never felt full when doing it, because it wasn't filling the right need at the time.9 -
OP, I totally identify with this. I am an emotional eater, and despite that, I have maintained a healthy BMI for 30+ years. On the surface it appears to others it’s easy for me, but in truth it is often a struggle. Last week I lost my *kitten*. This week I miraculously rebounded and pulled everything back on track. I set aside time to reflect on why I lost it and why I was able to get back on track...like really trying to decode it, looking at dates, calories each day, what might have been going on with reproductive hormones, etc. So, looking at the calendar what I see is the day I really lost it was the day my daughter was told of a Covid exposure and her quarantine started. That gives weight to the stress eating hypothesis. Today I was pondering why my mood had lifted so much. It’s 15 days since her exposure and she stopped quarantining tonight. Also explains it.
OP, the point of the story is even an emotional eater who loses her *kitten* under stress can, big picture, maintain a healthy weight for decades. It’s a matter of staying disciplined when you can, being gentle with yourself, and always probing why, what worked and what didn’t. Stick with it and I promise it gets easier with time.6 -
Same here. That’s why i joined mfp. Send me a friend request and we can help each other2
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Today is my 11th day on MFP and I have lost 3 kg in 11 days just by staying under my calorie goal. So far it has been a wonderful experience. Added people with similar goals on MFP. Inspiring each other, sharing experiences with each other brought such a positive change to my life and myself. I am feeling happy and positive just by changing my food habits.
People around me used to say stop eating and you would be skinny. Lose weight, eat only salad and things like that. They never really understood my struggle because they were not going through what I was going through. It is so easy to give advice and judge. That's where people I met on MFP are so different. I burn 100 cal and my friends inspire me. They burn calories, I find it inspiring. Their progress inspires me so much as if it's my own progress.
Yesterday I received a bad news and I almost wanted to eat something sweet but I resisted. Today I checked my weight and I lost another kilo. Seeing that scale move made me feel soo good about my choices.
I cook, I clean, I do the dishes. I see all my boring chores as my daily activities contributing to burning calories.
Still not focusing on achieving big goals just taking one day at a time. Choosing healthier options for my meals. Focusing on that happy positive feeling I get from my efforts.3 -
Hi @nazah_sakin
I am really happy to see you working through all this: your power of introspection and analysis will serve you well!
You mentioned a few things that resonate with some of my own self-discoveries when I first started losing weight, so I am posting to highlight a subtle; but in my mind, extremely important point that may serve you well in the future.
Derive motivation from establishing and adhering to process(es) that will bring about the results you seek. Avoid seeking motivation directly from the results themselves!
While results do follow when you adhere to the appropriate preconditions, they don't always follow in a linear, or timely fashion! Down the road, results may not be as dramatic (and easy to spot) as they are in the very beginning. And in many cases this is a good thing since results are expected to slow down as you get lighter.
You CAN directly decide how accurately and completely you will log your energy intake and expenditure.
You are CAN decide the kind and, to a significant extent, quantity of food and beverages you consume.
You CAN influence how much you move and or exercise
You CAN have the final say in how diligently you will weight yourself and on how conscientiously you will enter said weight in a weight trend app.
But you do not (and should not) influence or try to influence normal weight fluctuations. And while it is fun to have people around you who are encountering similar challenges to yourself, ultimately, your challenges are your own to face and win!
The majority of happy positive feelings should come from the fact that you logged your food and beverages properly. From the fact that you made the right choices (for you as they evolve with your understanding of self, body, and available possibilities) when it came to your caloric intake. From the fact that you made the effort to keep to the level of activity you decided was sustainable and appropriate for yourself.
Celebrate the victories you directly control and be motivated by them.
The results will follow!
<ETA: your big victory was that *yesterday you made the appropriate, for you at this juncture, choice*. NOT the fact that today you lost a kilo. The victory would have truly been just as big without the immediate scale validation!>3 -
You are doing great Nazah ..... and I am happy to call you a friend ... Keep up the awesome job 2
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Thank you Megan for being such an inspiration. You guys are awesome ❤️❤️❤️1
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I had a bad bad bad day today... 😭😭😭😭 Since last night I can't stop thinking about fried chicken. So I cooked chicken today but it wasn't about chicken. It was about fried food. I wanted to eat something I shouldn't eat. I wanted something unhealthy. I was cranky all day. I ate more than I normally eat. Though I was under my calorie goal as I burned some calories. I didn't like this feeling. Ughhh! I hate itttt! I know this is gonna happen again. I just don't want to give in. Last time I was out of track without even realising it. That's why I am posting here. Reminding myself. I wish I didn't feel this way either. Why is it sooo hard?! 😭😭😭1
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nazah_sakin wrote: »I had a bad bad bad day today... 😭😭😭😭 Since last night I can't stop thinking about fried chicken. So I cooked chicken today but it wasn't about chicken. It was about fried food. I wanted to eat something I shouldn't eat. I wanted something unhealthy. I was cranky all day. I ate more than I normally eat. Though I was under my calorie goal as I burned some calories. I didn't like this feeling. Ughhh! I hate itttt! I know this is gonna happen again. I just don't want to give in. Last time I was out of track without even realising it. That's why I am posting here. Reminding myself. I wish I didn't feel this way either. Why is it sooo hard?! 😭😭😭
It sounds like you have not figured out how to compromise with your inner child. Here is the way it works for me. If I decide that something is off limits then my cravings for the food go through the roof. Even if it is something I seldom ate when I was gaining weight. If I am allowed to eat anything I can safely moderate then my inner child doesn't throw craving tantrums.
So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?
If it is the former at all what you need to understand is that what is healthy is weight loss. If denying yourself a food makes it harder than that denial is unhealthy. I have eaten a crazy number of potato chips in the last 2 years. I can moderate them so I am often fine with half of a serving. I just want the flavor. Potato chips are one of many treats that HELP me lose weight. They help because I do not feel deprived. I am healthier because I have eaten so many potato chips. I have dropped more than 250 pounds and my doctor is practically doing cartwheels over my progress and my resulting test results.
Oh and I have definitely eaten fried chicken while losing.
One of my most important rules when I started was that I would not exclude ANYTHING from my diet that I can moderate. The reason it is so important is because when looking back over my 30ish years of failed weight loss attempts I realized that depriving myself of food I enjoy eating was almost always in the recipe for failure.
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So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?
@NovusDies thank you for your comment. I don't have any fixed idea that a diet menu should look like this. The problem is that if I start responding to such cravings I might lose my focus. I believe that I can have anything in moderation. But what I was feeling last night was more like a rebel. As you said my inner child - you are right it's a rebel child! I never really had much likings for fried chicken. My mind is just playing tricks I believe. If I respond to it, I eat a chicken today. Tomorrow I would want a cake. I will start with one piece and end up eating 3-4 slices or more. I don't know.
I know I can eat anything in moderation. It can be a piece of chocolate or a cake or a slice of pizza as long as I am not going over my calorie goals and also burning some calories I am fine.
Also I am more into the process of healthy eating and leading an active life. I feel good when I eat clean food. I feel good when I eat home cooked nutritious meal.
What's wrong with having a piece of fried chicken? There is nothing wrong with it. I might have a piece next week but because I made that choice not because my mind/my emotions played some foolish trick to gain control over me. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to be aware of the choices I make. Thank you for your reply. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are an inspiration. 😊😊
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