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Emotional Eating or stress eating

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  • jossymassaad2o2ojossymassaad2o2o Member Posts: 3 Member Member Posts: 3 Member
    Same here. That’s why i joined mfp. Send me a friend request and we can help each other
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    Today is my 11th day on MFP and I have lost 3 kg in 11 days just by staying under my calorie goal. So far it has been a wonderful experience. Added people with similar goals on MFP. Inspiring each other, sharing experiences with each other brought such a positive change to my life and myself. I am feeling happy and positive just by changing my food habits.
    People around me used to say stop eating and you would be skinny. Lose weight, eat only salad and things like that. They never really understood my struggle because they were not going through what I was going through. It is so easy to give advice and judge. That's where people I met on MFP are so different. I burn 100 cal and my friends inspire me. They burn calories, I find it inspiring. Their progress inspires me so much as if it's my own progress.
    Yesterday I received a bad news and I almost wanted to eat something sweet but I resisted. Today I checked my weight and I lost another kilo. Seeing that scale move made me feel soo good about my choices.
    I cook, I clean, I do the dishes. I see all my boring chores as my daily activities contributing to burning calories.
    Still not focusing on achieving big goals just taking one day at a time. Choosing healthier options for my meals. Focusing on that happy positive feeling I get from my efforts.
  • PAV8888PAV8888 Member Posts: 7,485 Member Member Posts: 7,485 Member
    Hi @nazah_sakin

    I am really happy to see you working through all this: your power of introspection and analysis will serve you well!

    You mentioned a few things that resonate with some of my own self-discoveries when I first started losing weight, so I am posting to highlight a subtle; but in my mind, extremely important point that may serve you well in the future.

    Derive motivation from establishing and adhering to process(es) that will bring about the results you seek. Avoid seeking motivation directly from the results themselves!

    While results do follow when you adhere to the appropriate preconditions, they don't always follow in a linear, or timely fashion! Down the road, results may not be as dramatic (and easy to spot) as they are in the very beginning. And in many cases this is a good thing since results are expected to slow down as you get lighter.

    You CAN directly decide how accurately and completely you will log your energy intake and expenditure.
    You are CAN decide the kind and, to a significant extent, quantity of food and beverages you consume.
    You CAN influence how much you move and or exercise
    You CAN have the final say in how diligently you will weight yourself and on how conscientiously you will enter said weight in a weight trend app.

    But you do not (and should not) influence or try to influence normal weight fluctuations. And while it is fun to have people around you who are encountering similar challenges to yourself, ultimately, your challenges are your own to face and win!

    The majority of happy positive feelings should come from the fact that you logged your food and beverages properly. From the fact that you made the right choices (for you as they evolve with your understanding of self, body, and available possibilities) when it came to your caloric intake. From the fact that you made the effort to keep to the level of activity you decided was sustainable and appropriate for yourself.

    Celebrate the victories you directly control and be motivated by them.

    The results will follow! :wink:

    <ETA: your big victory was that *yesterday you made the appropriate, for you at this juncture, choice*. NOT the fact that today you lost a kilo. The victory would have truly been just as big without the immediate scale validation!>
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    @PAV8888 thank you for your comment. Yes ofcourse being able to control myself was the biggest victory. I tried to lose weight before but never really liked the process but this time it's different. 😊😊😊
  • Megan_smartiepants1970Megan_smartiepants1970 Member Posts: 15,591 Member Member Posts: 15,591 Member
    You are doing great Nazah ..... and I am happy to call you a friend ... Keep up the awesome job :)
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    Thank you Megan for being such an inspiration. You guys are awesome ❤️❤️❤️
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    I had a bad bad bad day today... 😭😭😭😭 Since last night I can't stop thinking about fried chicken. So I cooked chicken today but it wasn't about chicken. It was about fried food. I wanted to eat something I shouldn't eat. I wanted something unhealthy. I was cranky all day. I ate more than I normally eat. Though I was under my calorie goal as I burned some calories. I didn't like this feeling. Ughhh! I hate itttt! I know this is gonna happen again. I just don't want to give in. Last time I was out of track without even realising it. That's why I am posting here. Reminding myself. I wish I didn't feel this way either. Why is it sooo hard?! 😭😭😭
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,283 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,283 Member
    I had a bad bad bad day today... 😭😭😭😭 Since last night I can't stop thinking about fried chicken. So I cooked chicken today but it wasn't about chicken. It was about fried food. I wanted to eat something I shouldn't eat. I wanted something unhealthy. I was cranky all day. I ate more than I normally eat. Though I was under my calorie goal as I burned some calories. I didn't like this feeling. Ughhh! I hate itttt! I know this is gonna happen again. I just don't want to give in. Last time I was out of track without even realising it. That's why I am posting here. Reminding myself. I wish I didn't feel this way either. Why is it sooo hard?! 😭😭😭

    It sounds like you have not figured out how to compromise with your inner child. Here is the way it works for me. If I decide that something is off limits then my cravings for the food go through the roof. Even if it is something I seldom ate when I was gaining weight. If I am allowed to eat anything I can safely moderate then my inner child doesn't throw craving tantrums.

    So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?

    If it is the former at all what you need to understand is that what is healthy is weight loss. If denying yourself a food makes it harder than that denial is unhealthy. I have eaten a crazy number of potato chips in the last 2 years. I can moderate them so I am often fine with half of a serving. I just want the flavor. Potato chips are one of many treats that HELP me lose weight. They help because I do not feel deprived. I am healthier because I have eaten so many potato chips. I have dropped more than 250 pounds and my doctor is practically doing cartwheels over my progress and my resulting test results.

    Oh and I have definitely eaten fried chicken while losing.

    One of my most important rules when I started was that I would not exclude ANYTHING from my diet that I can moderate. The reason it is so important is because when looking back over my 30ish years of failed weight loss attempts I realized that depriving myself of food I enjoy eating was almost always in the recipe for failure.
    edited July 16
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?

    @NovusDies thank you for your comment. I don't have any fixed idea that a diet menu should look like this. The problem is that if I start responding to such cravings I might lose my focus. I believe that I can have anything in moderation. But what I was feeling last night was more like a rebel. As you said my inner child - you are right it's a rebel child! I never really had much likings for fried chicken. My mind is just playing tricks I believe. If I respond to it, I eat a chicken today. Tomorrow I would want a cake. I will start with one piece and end up eating 3-4 slices or more. I don't know.

    I know I can eat anything in moderation. It can be a piece of chocolate or a cake or a slice of pizza as long as I am not going over my calorie goals and also burning some calories I am fine.
    Also I am more into the process of healthy eating and leading an active life. I feel good when I eat clean food. I feel good when I eat home cooked nutritious meal.
    What's wrong with having a piece of fried chicken? There is nothing wrong with it. I might have a piece next week but because I made that choice not because my mind/my emotions played some foolish trick to gain control over me. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to be aware of the choices I make. Thank you for your reply. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are an inspiration. 😊😊

  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,283 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,283 Member
    So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?

    @NovusDies thank you for your comment. I don't have any fixed idea that a diet menu should look like this. The problem is that if I start responding to such cravings I might lose my focus. I believe that I can have anything in moderation. But what I was feeling last night was more like a rebel. As you said my inner child - you are right it's a rebel child! I never really had much likings for fried chicken. My mind is just playing tricks I believe. If I respond to it, I eat a chicken today. Tomorrow I would want a cake. I will start with one piece and end up eating 3-4 slices or more. I don't know.

    I know I can eat anything in moderation. It can be a piece of chocolate or a cake or a slice of pizza as long as I am not going over my calorie goals and also burning some calories I am fine.
    Also I am more into the process of healthy eating and leading an active life. I feel good when I eat clean food. I feel good when I eat home cooked nutritious meal.
    What's wrong with having a piece of fried chicken? There is nothing wrong with it. I might have a piece next week but because I made that choice not because my mind/my emotions played some foolish trick to gain control over me. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to be aware of the choices I make. Thank you for your reply. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are an inspiration. 😊😊

    Good response.

    If you have 75 or more pounds to lose you might want to come to my 'Larger Losers' group. We have a recent discussion going about cravings. Here is the link:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/133315-larger-losers

    If not, or you are not interested there is a mental exercise you can try:

    Imagine you are a bus driver. The cravings are obnoxious kids making noise in the back. Your job is to stay on the road despite the distraction and never allow the kids to see you sweat. Be defiant. See them as the unhelpful brats they are. When the kids learn that you will not give them attention they will hopefully settle down and allow you to compromise with them.

    Different people need different tools so that may or may not work. It is the type of thing that works for me.

  • joanna_82joanna_82 Member Posts: 143 Member Member Posts: 143 Member
    So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?

    @NovusDies thank you for your comment. I don't have any fixed idea that a diet menu should look like this. The problem is that if I start responding to such cravings I might lose my focus. I believe that I can have anything in moderation. But what I was feeling last night was more like a rebel. As you said my inner child - you are right it's a rebel child! I never really had much likings for fried chicken. My mind is just playing tricks I believe. If I respond to it, I eat a chicken today. Tomorrow I would want a cake. I will start with one piece and end up eating 3-4 slices or more. I don't know.

    I know I can eat anything in moderation. It can be a piece of chocolate or a cake or a slice of pizza as long as I am not going over my calorie goals and also burning some calories I am fine.
    Also I am more into the process of healthy eating and leading an active life. I feel good when I eat clean food. I feel good when I eat home cooked nutritious meal.
    What's wrong with having a piece of fried chicken? There is nothing wrong with it. I might have a piece next week but because I made that choice not because my mind/my emotions played some foolish trick to gain control over me. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to be aware of the choices I make. Thank you for your reply. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are an inspiration. 😊😊

    Don’t beat yourself up so much. If you have been an emotional eater for a while it’s a hard thing to crack. The learning experience from each binge or craving or eating episode is to reflect on it, try and think about what led you to feel that way, and think about what you would do differently next time you feel that way. Sometimes it’s just about wanting that particular food because you want it and that’s ok.

    For example what were you feeling when you though about eating fried chicken? We’re you sad, or anxious or stressed? If so what was making you feel that way? Could you do something else next time you feel that way which is a healthier way of coping with the feeling?

    Recovery from emotional eating does take time and effort and focus. But I promise you it’s so much better on the other side once you get there!
  • kelly_c_77kelly_c_77 Member Posts: 5,631 Member Member Posts: 5,631 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Totally agree with what you said. I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.

    Why *does* binge eating make us happy??? I'm exactly the same way. :( I live to eat instead of the opposite. I wake up thinking about food and go to sleep thinking about food. :( It has become an obsession now. I rely on it to calm my nerves, fill a void, substitute for (fill in the blank here) anything and everything else that I'm missing in my life. :( Last year I had solid important goals, got down to low BMI(130# for me), exercised every day, counted calories, the whole 9 yards. Then the holidays came, I slipped a bit but climbed back on(and off) until Covid became a huge thing. Stress increased. Then my sister's dh sadly went from 1 stage of his Alzheimers to the next and I have since become a caretaker and respite provider for them. They're constantly on my mind now and my stress and worry level is through the roof. :(
    I handle it with food. Not healthy food, but anything junky that I can get my hands on. I am now up into the 150's with no signs of stopping. No mind control that I had all of last year. No self-esteem. No will to do this. :(

    Just sharing my story and feelings to let you know you're not alone in your struggles. I like all the ideas coming forth but the first thing you need(and ME TOO) is to get your mind committed to the journey that will help control your relationship with food. I felt so strong logging everything on to MFP. It did help. Until it didn't. :(

    Good luck and hope you can find the power within yourself to change, if this isn't who you want to be. We all have some sort of an escape, something that soothes us and eases our souls. I wish exercise was mine but I'm much too lazy for that. :( Mine seem to be carbs, sugar, crap food. :/

    One suggestion is to check out the volume eater's thread.

    Just wanted to say I'm sorry it's such a struggle right now. I truly hope it gets better for you soon.
    One foot in front of the other. You will get there.
  • ahoy_m8ahoy_m8 Member Posts: 2,099 Member Member Posts: 2,099 Member
    Honestly, nazah_sakin, the way you are engaging with the struggle is exactly the right thing to do. It is a struggle. The way you are observing yourself and your feelings, the questions you are asking yourself... you are exactly on track. Your description of rebelling against reason does indeed make sense. I recognize it in myself when urges strike. Keep observing and probing, and the insights that come to you will, little by little, give you more power over the vagaries of urges. Don't give up. Stay with the struggle. Good post.

    ETA: Love the bus driver analogy, NovusDies!
    edited July 16
  • AkkassiAkkassi Member, Premium Posts: 1 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1 Member
    I am a bit late here, but I have a similar issue. Especially when I am working, if I am stressed about something I want to use food to feel better.

    Drinking tea helps me a bit. I try to use it as much as possible, trying different kinds, noticing how they test different and warm me up from inside when I don't feel good.

    Also, I feel like it is useful to notice it when it happens, to take a moment to consciously think about it and what triggered it ("ok I am stressed / sad because this happens, I have the urge to feel better..."), and then decide what to do/delay it ("I will eat this if I still think it is necessary in 10 minutes").
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    So the question is are you excluding food because it doesn't fit your idea of a "diet" or are you excluding foods that you cannot moderate well or would trigger a binge?

    @NovusDies thank you for your comment. I don't have any fixed idea that a diet menu should look like this. The problem is that if I start responding to such cravings I might lose my focus. I believe that I can have anything in moderation. But what I was feeling last night was more like a rebel. As you said my inner child - you are right it's a rebel child! I never really had much likings for fried chicken. My mind is just playing tricks I believe. If I respond to it, I eat a chicken today. Tomorrow I would want a cake. I will start with one piece and end up eating 3-4 slices or more. I don't know.

    I know I can eat anything in moderation. It can be a piece of chocolate or a cake or a slice of pizza as long as I am not going over my calorie goals and also burning some calories I am fine.
    Also I am more into the process of healthy eating and leading an active life. I feel good when I eat clean food. I feel good when I eat home cooked nutritious meal.
    What's wrong with having a piece of fried chicken? There is nothing wrong with it. I might have a piece next week but because I made that choice not because my mind/my emotions played some foolish trick to gain control over me. I don't know if I am making any sense. I am trying to be aware of the choices I make. Thank you for your reply. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are an inspiration. 😊😊

    Good response.

    If you have 75 or more pounds to lose you might want to come to my 'Larger Losers' group. We have a recent discussion going about cravings. Here is the link:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/133315-larger-losers

    If not, or you are not interested there is a mental exercise you can try:

    Imagine you are a bus driver. The cravings are obnoxious kids making noise in the back. Your job is to stay on the road despite the distraction and never allow the kids to see you sweat. Be defiant. See them as the unhelpful brats they are. When the kids learn that you will not give them attention they will hopefully settle down and allow you to compromise with them.

    Different people need different tools so that may or may not work. It is the type of thing that works for me.

    Of course. I would love to join your group. Thank you again for your support. I felt a lot relieved when I shared what I was feeling. I am feeling a lot better today. 😊😊😊
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    kelly_c_77 wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Totally agree with what you said. I feel like I deserve to do what makes me happy which is binge eating loads of crap.. But later I feel even worse for gaining all that weight I had lost before.

    Why *does* binge eating make us happy??? I'm exactly the same way. :( I live to eat instead of the opposite. I wake up thinking about food and go to sleep thinking about food. :( It has become an obsession now. I rely on it to calm my nerves, fill a void, substitute for (fill in the blank here) anything and everything else that I'm missing in my life. :( Last year I had solid important goals, got down to low BMI(130# for me), exercised every day, counted calories, the whole 9 yards. Then the holidays came, I slipped a bit but climbed back on(and off) until Covid became a huge thing. Stress increased. Then my sister's dh sadly went from 1 stage of his Alzheimers to the next and I have since become a caretaker and respite provider for them. They're constantly on my mind now and my stress and worry level is through the roof. :(
    I handle it with food. Not healthy food, but anything junky that I can get my hands on. I am now up into the 150's with no signs of stopping. No mind control that I had all of last year. No self-esteem. No will to do this. :(

    Just sharing my story and feelings to let you know you're not alone in your struggles. I like all the ideas coming forth but the first thing you need(and ME TOO) is to get your mind committed to the journey that will help control your relationship with food. I felt so strong logging everything on to MFP. It did help. Until it didn't. :(

    Good luck and hope you can find the power within yourself to change, if this isn't who you want to be. We all have some sort of an escape, something that soothes us and eases our souls. I wish exercise was mine but I'm much too lazy for that. :( Mine seem to be carbs, sugar, crap food. :/

    One suggestion is to check out the volume eater's thread.

    Just wanted to say I'm sorry it's such a struggle right now. I truly hope it gets better for you soon.
    One foot in front of the other. You will get there.

    Thank you so much. I am feeling lot better now. 😊😊😊
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    ahoy_m8 wrote: »
    Honestly, nazah_sakin, the way you are engaging with the struggle is exactly the right thing to do. It is a struggle. The way you are observing yourself and your feelings, the questions you are asking yourself... you are exactly on track. Your description of rebelling against reason does indeed make sense. I recognize it in myself when urges strike. Keep observing and probing, and the insights that come to you will, little by little, give you more power over the vagaries of urges. Don't give up. Stay with the struggle. Good post.

    ETA: Love the bus driver analogy, NovusDies!

    Thank you dear.. Hope we all stay strong on this journey and live a healthy life. 😊😊😊
  • Naz_2020Naz_2020 Member Posts: 77 Member Member Posts: 77 Member
    akkelley81 wrote: »
    New here, but the title totally caught my eye! I HAVE A HUGE issue with this. It's been a very stressful week (mom in the hospital after one year to the day we've had major medical things happening and I turned into a caretaker for her) and as I was sitting there waiting for her to be admitted I couldn't stop thinking about ALL the junk food I wanted to go home and eat. It was so eye opening! I went for a 4 mile bike ride instead. Tonight I went for 6 miles. Not normal for me but Feeling so accomplished! I also have about 80 lbs to lose.

    I am so sorry. You are going through a lot. Hope your mom feels better soon. And yes burning calories motivate to stay on track. 😊😊
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