When you're the only one in your house trying to lose weight...
Replies
-
I'm the only one trying to lose weight, and my husband needs to lose weight too. I've tried so many things to encourage him to do it with me however I've realised that unless he is motivated by his own goals it's not going to happen. I backed off about a year ago (as I struggled away lol) and leave him alone. I wouldn't have responded well to anyone bugging me to lose weight.
I found a balance that's working for me this year thankfully! Luckily my husband is not a picky eater and is supportive of my goals. We like different meals for breakfast and lunch and I cook what fits my calories for dinner and he'll have bigger portions and maybe add bread, cheese or rice or whatever he feels like to his. He is thoughtful in weighing my food when he gets me something (and asks if I want it first). I am learning to be able to live around his treats and get some that I love that I generally work in daily and that's kept me from binging. He won't usually exercise with me (walks or biking mostly) however he will clean up or do whatever when I go. I've no complaints other than he keeps getting heavier and I worry about his health. When he's ready I'll be there to support him as he does with me ❤5 -
But yes, OP, sorry for getting off the track here.
Some days we are the ones who need to give ourselves a pat on the back for what we've accomplished; that feeling of satisfaction has to come from us. It'd be nice if our SO's stepped up for that but sometimes.....they just don't. 
They're a different person, different thought processes, cannot read our minds, etc., etc. You know the whole thing about Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. 
As my dh always tells me, "he's just a man".
You're not off track at all! This is a thread for those of us doing it alone who have challenges with it! I appreciate your thoughts, and for what it's worth, Reenie and @Onedaywriter, snacks in the house are my kryptonite as well! I have a tween. Who loves snacks. So, yeah!
1 -
dawnkirkwood18 wrote: »It is infuriating and I basically have to tune it out because every discussion I have tried to have regarding it has not been favorably met and has not yielded any results.
That sounds really hard, and you sound really strong! You are one of my new real-life inspirations, and I need those, so thank you for sharing this.
1 -
Your husband didn't realize you had accomplished a personal goal. Tell him! And then tell him what your next personsl goal is, then tell him when you reach that one.
Just because he didn't know about, doesn't mean he won't be proud of you when he knows.
In the same way you may not know about his personal accomplishments unless he tells you.
Yes, I'm sure this is true. And right after my internal rant, I thought some version of this to myself, coupled with, "It's not fair to expect him to be a mind-reader. You can't read minds, either. And how much of this is you are just mad at yourself?"
While I would love for him to be more of a cheerleader-type, I also do believe that I have to want it badly enough for it not to matter. He's not a cheerleader-type, and that's okay. In general, in life, that's not what I need in a partner.
With fitness, though, I feel like I need...someone like me! I used to be the friend who people came to when they wanted to lose weight. Who was always up for a walk, a swim, a yoga or dance class. Who would listen and was there for accountability if they wanted that, and I'd go clothes shopping if they went up or down a size and find flattering clothes in their sizes for them while they tried stuff on. I made note of their goals and celebrated with them when they achieved them. I didn't understand what they were going through, because I was skinny for the first three decades of my life, so I'm sure I wasn't perfect at it, but I was as supportive as I could be.
5 -
@Saskatchebun, that sounds like a really good balance. I smiled when I saw he even weighs your food for you! That's very sweet.1
-
My husband has lost weight without even trying, just because i'm buying healthier and cooking better. It's really annoying!6 -
My husband says that I will quit again because I always quit. I NEED to prove him wrong.
He has a much faster metabolism than I do and almost never becomes overweight no matter what he eats. It’s very irritating because he doesn’t understand how much I struggle with weight loss.
Everytime I want to eat more than I should or quit, I remind myself that if I do that, I prove him right. I want him to be wrong so I can, childishly, say I told you so!13 -
Dogmom1978 wrote: »I want to eat more than I should or quit, I remind myself that if I do that, I prove him right. I want him to be wrong so I can, childishly, say I told you so!
My daughter calls this “revenge body.” It seems to be working for her.
3 -
Onedaywriter wrote: »Dogmom1978 wrote: »I want to eat more than I should or quit, I remind myself that if I do that, I prove him right. I want him to be wrong so I can, childishly, say I told you so!
My daughter calls this “revenge body.” It seems to be working for her.
I’ve known my husband since we were 16. We are 42 now. Most of this time he has weighed less than me and he is 6 inches taller. I want to be the hot one when we walk down the street. And I just want to prove him wrong so badly on this. It’s currently a great motivator, so I’m running with it 😛7 -
Dogmom1978 wrote: »My husband says that I will quit again because I always quit. I NEED to prove him wrong.
He has a much faster metabolism than I do and almost never becomes overweight no matter what he eats. It’s very irritating because he doesn’t understand how much I struggle with weight loss.
Everytime I want to eat more than I should or quit, I remind myself that if I do that, I prove him right. I want him to be wrong so I can, childishly, say I told you so!
Let's not quit, together! Feel free to add me as an accountability-buddy.2 -
Dogmom1978 wrote: »My husband says that I will quit again because I always quit.
WOW. This is a douche comment for sure.4 -
butterfli7o wrote: »Dogmom1978 wrote: »My husband says that I will quit again because I always quit.
WOW. This is a douche comment for sure.
To be fair, he isn’t wrong. And he was a psych major who has known me for over 25 years, SO he might have done it intentionally to help motivate me as he knows that I REALLY enjoy proving him wrong.
Either way, I prefer to think that’s what he did rather than that he was just being a douche. 😛4
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 389.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43K Getting Started
- 259.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.2K Food and Nutrition
- 47.2K Recipes
- 232K Fitness and Exercise
- 359 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.4K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.4K Motivation and Support
- 7.7K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 2.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 745 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions