Regaining weight, struggling to motivate for round 2.

I feel you! I started my weight loss journey in 2010 at 298 pounds and over the course of that year I lost over 100 pounds. I was super motivated, totally disciplined and loved it although I never quite got to my goal weight. Then, at the beginning of 2011 the wheels started coming off. I found out my position was being eliminated at work, I lost some friends and support. A lot of things about my life changed and I coped by returning to food and started regaining. I have gone back and forth, losing and gaining getting down to the same weight (right around 175-78) before struggling again over the last ten years. I have come to the conclusion that there is some kind of mental/emotional block preventing me finally achieving goal weight and maintaining it. I have no answers for you – I only share in your frustrations.

Nothing for it but to turn this into a continuing success! Aside from doing the things that you know work, I'd also suggest talking to your doc. Specifically they should check your thyroid hormone levels. Low levels of those can make you very tired, and make weight harder to take off. It can do interesting things to your metabolism. If you can, also have them check if you are low on any important nutrients. Deficiencies can have a similar effect.

No matter what though, it's not hopeless. You can totally do this.

Yep. I started back in 2011 (earlier if I count Weigh Watchers) at 190lbs. Made it down to 143-145 4 years ago, moved to a new country, settled my teenage boys in their new environment, lost my dad, CoVid happened and my weight started creeping up. At first 149 “oh it’s still normal fluctuations, I’m sure it’ll be down next week” (tried that free NOOM trial and NOPE). And then 152lbs “OK, it’s still within my original 155lbs -goal from 10 years ago!!!” (Started loosely tracking back here, but not consistently)... 159lbs!!!!! “HOLLY KITTENS girl you better get your act together”... been at it for almost three weeks again, and I’ve gone down to 152.2!!!!
I think for those of us with an attachment to food as a calming mechanism -AKA food addiction- it’ll be with us forever. And quite honestly, it is so easy to fall back into bad habits or poor lifestyle choices. Accepting that has given me some peace and has made Me come to terms with the fact that it’s ok to have life moments that mess with our stability (illness, moving, death, you name it), we just need to find that balance again, no matter how many attempts it takes. When I first reached my 145lbs goal, I decided to accept that I would probably someday have to face gaining some of the weight back again. And that is OK. Life happens!!!

I'm going to chime in on this because, once again, I'm at my lowest weight. I started MFP ten years ago and, in two years, lost 100 pounds. It wasn't the first time - I'd lost 50 to 80 pounds at least three earlier times in my life and then gained it all back plus some. Eight years ago, at my lowest weight, I swore I was not going to regain again. But my mother fell and broke her back, I had to spend three weeks alone in her house visiting her in rehab twice a day and...well, it's the same story as everyone else has told. It took 10 months to regain 30 pounds and another three years to regain the remaining seventy. Miserable, depressed and starting to have real health problems, I came back to MFP two and a half years ago. Now I've lost all the regained pounds and am once again swearing I will not regain it. How many times in one lifetime can a person do this?

Truth is, I don't know what the answer is. I gave up sugar and wheat products this time and, so far, have not had that craaaavvvving you get when you just have to eat. I've worked hard on my emotional health in the past two years. I've worked hard to not only have self-control but to believe I have self-control. I've worked really hard to have a positive body image. But I can't tell anyone that this is what works because I have no idea if it will or not. I know someday life will throw me a curveball and I have no idea if I will send it flying back or if it will knock me out.

I have read the research that says my body will fight to regain the weight - I will get hungry more often and I'll eat more before I feel full. The mental tape that makes me feel sorry for myself, that tells me food will lift me up, has not stopped running. I work hard to not listen to any of those weight-gaining demands. I'm hoping that, in time, not listening will get easier. Until then, I weigh daily, I log throughout the day, I work out to lift my spirits and I run little self-admiring tapes all the time and I try to ignore the "you're so self-centered" tape.

The only advice I'm willing to give is this: work on the eating part not the losing part. Work on what and how and where and when and, most especially, why you eat. Work on it the way a recovering alcoholic works on drinking. I've had to tell myself a thousand times: yep, you're going to be controlling your eating for the rest of your life. So what? It's not love or celebration or comfort or enjoyment. It's just eating. Find love, celebrate, be comforted, enjoy life in some other way.

Best of luck to you. Losing weight is the easy part - not gaining it back is the hard.