Does hating your mother mean you are a bad person?

Does it? Are you meant to love your mother no matter how much of a b***ch she is? My mother is exactly that, but when I say I dont care about her people go like "but she is your mother! how can you be so callous!", like being a mother automatically made her wonderful. Is there anyone out there who is in a situation like that? Or am I just plain evil? :devil:

Yes you are evil and should be stoned!

**but seriously** no dna does not mean you have to like someone!

test

o.0

I felt the same way for years until I found out she has mental illness - Borderline Personality Disorder and is Bi-Polar with some OCD as well. The illness explained it all - she really was Satan's Sister. Now that she's had strokes and I took over as her POA in health issues we have her medicated which helps. She also has cancer now, and at 86 a new colostomy bag and guess who is the 110% caregiver. Yup. But it has helped to realize her mental illness issues. People can seem "normal" and be just plain mean but so many times there is illness at play.

Good luck to you.

You are not a horrible person for hating ur mother I am in the same boat I do not even talk or consider my "mother" my mother she was never there she hit me she tore my sister and i apart ALL she is to me is my carrier just because u call a person mother and she had a child 'gave birth "doesnt mean she is a mother I feel like the only people that understand what and how i feel are people that didnt have a good child life and bond with the carrier There is alot more to bein a mother then just given birth just like there is alot more to being a father then just a sperm donar right? dont be hard on urself noone should judge anyone else unless they walk a few inches in their shoes Take care and dont worry ur not alone

thanks

Why is hating ones father generally more acceptable than hating a mother?


I know a lot of bad mothers and fathers, and the people who hate their mother/disowned their mother tend to struggle with it more than those in that situation with a father

Why is hating ones father generally more acceptable than hating a mother?


I know a lot of bad mothers and fathers, and the people who hate their mother/disowned their mother tend to struggle with it more than those in that situation with a father

Well if you're asking the posters from earlier, they'd tell you it's okay to hate your father because he didn't actually push you out of his birth canal.

Ha! No kidding!

Honestly, though, I think the struggle is because mothers are historically associated with nurturing moreso than fathers and it's more difficult to come to terms with being abused by a mother than by a father. So people, even when experiencing it first-hand, sometimes have a block saying that it just can't be happening. A mother's instinct is supposed to be to protect a child.

There have been psychological studies showing that if your spouse and child were both dying and you could save only one, the mother will save the child and the father will save the wife.

Obviously, there are ALWAYS exceptions and it's not a fair perception, but it's just difficult to wrap your mind around a bad mother.

....for the people who are so quick to say: "ZOMG!! YOU CAN'T HATE YOUR MOTHER THAT IS AWFUL, SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!!!" ...I don't think they realize how awful some mothers are. There are children who are beaten, neglected and/or mentally abused from they day they are born. The fact that their mother squeezed them out of their Hooha does not give them some kind of pass for doing things like this. If you have never been abused or you've never known a child that was, it may be hard to understand...but there ARE mothers who don't deserve unconditional love from their children.

Agreed. But more important, is Hooha really a proper noun?

....for the people who are so quick to say: "ZOMG!! YOU CAN'T HATE YOUR MOTHER THAT IS AWFUL, SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!!!" ...I don't think they realize how awful some mothers are. There are children who are beaten, neglected and/or mentally abused from they day they are born. The fact that their mother squeezed them out of their Hooha does not give them some kind of pass for doing things like this. If you have never been abused or you've never known a child that was, it may be hard to understand...but there ARE mothers who don't deserve unconditional love from their children.

Agreed. But more important, is Hooha really a proper noun?

Bwahahaha...... xD I have no idea why I capitalized that XD

Certain body parts need that emphatic capitalization. I say you get a pass...lest I pass grammar judgment on ye, 6. Bwahahaha

I too have a not so loving relationship w/my mother. Although I don't hate her I do resent her quite a but.
Long story short my grandmother raised me after my mother was sent to jail and my father to prison. My mother, until 2 years ago, was heavily into drugs, lacked a conscious, had little self-respect or respect for others, used people, lied, manipulated, the list goes on and on and on.
My harshest memory was visiting my sister in foster care w/my grandma because she was unable to take of her (she was handicapped and sadly passed away) and knowing they were loving and taking better care of her than my own mother.
My mother has since had two other children (and a few abortions) that I love to pieces.
She has been admitted involuntarily to a behavioral center multiple times and has been diagnosed w/bi-polar and mild schizophrenia...drug related.
Within the past two years I was granted temporary guardianship of my siblings.

I gave her chance after chance to redeem herself and forgive her but some things are little to late.

FINALLY she has become somewhat of a better person, at 50 it's time she grew up. She has part-time custody of my little brother. My sister moved out the day after 18. I moved out at 17. I haven't forgiven her and I don't think I really ever will. I love her as my mother but I don't like her as my mother.

For those who say forgive and forget...I ask at what cost???

I cringe when I see people treating their mothers horribly. They don't realize how fortunate they really are.

Btw I'm not asking for pity out there. I am who I am today as a result of my mother. I'm a better person, w/great morals and values, that loves her cats and siblings better than some mothers love their children.

No. My mother never liked me and she never concealed it. For all of my childhood, I tried like everything to make that woman like me & treat me like my friends' mothers treated them. NO. As I got older & started having children, we saw less of each other, my children didn't even know her. Regardless, she called my kids' school & reported me for child abuse - tried to get them removed from my home! THAT is when I called her and told her what I think of her. It was the last time we ever spoke. Ever.
She died without speaking to me. She terrorized my aunts & that side of my family so that they avoided me too. At that witch's funeral, my Aunts & cousins agreed it was good she's dead. 'ding dong the witch is dead' and we can be a family again
so no, you don't have to like someone just cause she's your mother

oh how horrible!!!!

i can understand that! i had a very strained relationship with my mom for a long time and felt a lot like you. just remember, the best revenge is living well!