Relationships/CHEATERS

Moofey
Moofey Posts: 444
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
Alright, here is a tough question for all of you.

Would you rather your significant other tell you they cheated on you or just have them keep it a secret and you never find out?
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Replies

  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
    Tell me, so I can leave them
  • captainlindarg
    captainlindarg Posts: 229 Member
    Tell me. For sure.
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
    never find out... as long as i didn't suspect anything
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    one off deal, used a condom, regrets it and would never do it again... I'd rather not know. Serial cheater, didn't use a condom, tempted to do it more than once... I need to know and we need counseling if we're going to stay together.
  • bahrainbel_2
    bahrainbel_2 Posts: 79
    i found out, i left him, it may have been different if he hadn't been a coward aswell as a cheat.
  • reinach31
    reinach31 Posts: 71
    Tell ME!

    Now, would you ask why they cheated? and would you want to know ALL the details? as to when he/she started the other relationship ..or just let it go and move on?
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Tell me, so I can leave them

    This ^^
  • amyyo523
    amyyo523 Posts: 13
    My boyfriend and I have an honor system set up. We normally let each other do whatever they want, but there are rules! No flirting and no kissing/anything of that nature. I mean, lets be honest, they will always have some type of wandering eyes. But we said if we ever did ANYTHING with someone else we would tell each other right away and work it out from there. But I am prettyyy sure my boyfriend would never do that to me! Hopefully... (:
  • ZombieKillaPrincess
    ZombieKillaPrincess Posts: 404 Member
    tell me, definitely. trust/honesty is everything in a relationship. if i were to cheat and not tell, the guilt would eat at me and destroy the relationship anyway...as is the case with a lot of people who cheat, they become insecure and think their partner is cheating. if you're gonna cheat-don't, just break it off first.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Tell me. I found out on my own...confronted him & was promptly told that it was my fault. We tried to work it out & I caught him making plans to do it again. We are not together anymore.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    a major symptom of a failed relationship is an affair

    if youre happy, you dont cheat. Im happy, been happy for 28 years, 4 months and would never think of cheating

    dont know that I could handle being cheated on.......it would kill me......

    just my thoughts.............Lloyd
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    didnt tell me, i found out (it was with my good friend), left himmmmm in a minute. (and broke his xbox) :]

    decided to give the man who liked me for 2 years a real chance.
    we have been together almost two years and it was the best decision of my life. <3

    and for the record my boyfriend dosnt have any wondering eye. we love each other and he knows how heart broken i was when i found out about my ex being unfaitfull. we would never think of cheating on each other.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
    I would never want to know unless he felt our relationship was over. Truly …take it to the grave Baby and never tell me!
  • aimstein
    aimstein Posts: 94
    Tell me....so I can make them leave. If they cheat once, they will typically cheat again. Very few relationships survive cheating. I'm worth more and deserve way more than that! So do you!!!
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Tell me, don't troll me, either way I will find out. If I find out on my own, kick rocks. If he tells me and says he made a mistake, will go to counselling and grovel, I'll consider sticking around.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    He tried keeping it from me. I found out. Now I get to leave his *kitten*.
  • aethompson5507
    aethompson5507 Posts: 251 Member
    i would want him to tell me. and if its worth it, try to make it work. if not, i'd be going bye bye with my 2 kiddos.
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    Tell ME!

    Now, would you ask why they cheated? and would you want to know ALL the details? as to when he/she started the other relationship ..or just let it go and move on?
    Tell me so I can just go. I don't want to know the details...he would just be putting his life in danger :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    If it was one time, and they honestly regretted it (and they didn't get any diseases, didn't get the girl pregnant), I'd rather they not tell me. But if they were having an affair or did it regularity, I would want to know. I think everybody can make mistakes. But when the mistakes compound, I would want to know.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    I would never want to know unless he felt our relationship was over. Truly …take it to the grave Baby and never tell me!

    Thats how I feel too. If she needs to feel alive by doing whatever, fine, but unless she wants it to end, don't tell me.

    With that being said... I would hope we had a close enough relationship that if she wanted to play with other guys she could just tell me and have my permission if thats what would make her happy.
  • Gemini_at_36
    Gemini_at_36 Posts: 207
    Tell me so I can say goodbye to you.:smile:
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    If it was a one off mistake kind of thing I'd rather not ever know. If it was something more and likely to happen again I'd want to know and move on.....with him out of my life.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    Tell me, so I can leave them

    Yup. Immediately.

    Sayonara, suckaaaa!
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Alright, here is a tough question for all of you.

    Would you rather your significant other tell you they cheated on you or just have them keep it a secret and you never find out?

    Whenever someone tells their partner that they have/are cheating or if they DON'T...It is ALWAYS about THEM! Cheating is a SELFISH ACT, just like suicide. The person who is Cheated On feelings are SECONDARY...Trust Me. BUT it is Important to KNOW because HIV/AIDS/STD's are HIGH among married women. You need to protect yourself, for LIFE! My Sister learned this first hand, her DEAD EX-HUSBAND died from AIDS, and he TRIED to RAPE her when ONLY HE KNEW he had it!
  • mkallie
    mkallie Posts: 110 Member
    I have traditionally found out myself... I feel like women have sort of a "sixth sense" about it and I've learned that when my intuition says that something is amiss, it is.

    If I had to pick between the two, I'd rather be told. It would indicate to me that he at least respected me enough to tell me.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    If it was a one off mistake kind of thing I'd rather not ever know. If it was something more and likely to happen again I'd want to know and move on.....with him out of my life.

    Once is all it takes to DIE!
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    a major symptom of a failed relationship is an affair

    if youre happy, you dont cheat.

    This. I cheated once when I was in a relationship I was miserable in and didn't know how to get out of. Not my finest moment, and its my biggest regret with the relationship.

    Guys don't cheat because they want sex 99% of the time. They cheat because they aren't happy, regardless of how good you think you are to him.
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
    I'd prefer to know and then I'd end the relationship. Clearly they aren't happy, so how can you be?
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    Tell me... so I can get the hell out ASAP! I'd lose it! :explode:
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Alright, here is a tough question for all of you.

    Would you rather your significant other tell you they cheated on you or just have them keep it a secret and you never find out?

    Whenever someone tells their partner that they have/are cheating or if they DON'T...It is ALWAYS about THEM! Cheating is a SELFISH ACT, just like suicide. The person who is Cheated On feelings are SECONDARY...Trust Me. BUT it is Important to KNOW because HIV/AIDS/STD's are HIGH among married women. You need to protect yourself, for LIFE! My Sister learned this first hand, her DEAD EX-HUSBAND died from AIDS, and he TRIED to RAPE her when ONLY HE KNEW he had it!

    Please research HIV/AIDS/STD data before you spout off crap like that. Not true, at all. Married people are at a FAR lower risk than anyone else, and tend to have far fewer partners.
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