We broke up because...
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She didn’t understand that I found her beautiful just the way she was regardless of how much sleep she got. TBH, the less the better, that way I could pamper her by bringing her coffee and breakfast in bed, drawing a nice hot bubbly bath to soak in, yadda yadda yadda.0
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He woke me up to make me bathe every morning at 3:45am but I wasn’t allowed coffee until I climbed back into bed at 5:03am.0
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One night her phone was ringing off the hook around 3:45am... She hopped out of bed, took a quick shower and ran out of the house yelling "GOTTA GO GET MY 5:03 COFFEE!!!!!".... and never came back...1
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^😮 if I had known she was two timing us I would have called shenanigans!
We’ve been snookered!0 -
brustmannzwei wrote: »^😮 if I had known she was two timing us I would have called shenanigans!
We’ve been snookered!
I mean, I used to get snookered all the time but it was kind of our thing......
Wait... Um... YEAH THE BETRAYAL! 1 -
Never could understand her0
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She was a cradle robber!0
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I was a Cradle Robber aka Cougar ... Rawrrrrr! 😉1
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She was always eyeing up the young men while we were out for date night.1
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She wasn't a fan that I took " an "eye for an eye" literal 😜1
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She wore too much red1
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She said my Vintage looks were old , tired and ugly0
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She made me dress like a baby complete with diapers and a bib.0
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pooped her diaper and expected me to clean it
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That⤴️
If I ever became paralyzed or something like, she'd fly the coop! 😧0 -
We didn't spoon enough0
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Her spork was always stabbing me in the rush
Ouch!! 😮0 -
Always carried a spork with her, never said why0
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Because I had her cooking me 7 course meals everyday😋0
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He was super critical of my meals. It was always Martha Stewart this and Gordon Ramsey that.0
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Wait... You're not Martha Stewart?? 😮0
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Because she said I wasn't strong enough for her😪0
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She stole my shoes 👠0
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I found out where her missing heel disappeared to... Poor guy! 😬🤕0
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She wore her flip flops during the winter months.0
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She came to canada and said you wimps it's not cold here. Then she was off for Russia0
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He had too many troll dolls0
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She didn't belive in trolls. Internet, copyright, or bridge variety0
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Kept bringing trolls into my house0
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she walked all over me in those shoes
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