WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2020
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The other grandparents don't obey the rules and just carry on as usual with indoor visiting, close contact, overnight stays and bigger gatherings. So I guess we aren't the favourite grandparents either, as we don't do indoor meetings and keep our distance at all times.
The parents say they understand. 
The kids are wonderful and treat all the weirdness quite naturally. 
On Sunday my son and the grandchildren are coming over for a short garden visit as the weather is supposed to be fine. I was hoping to go over to them, but my DDIL is working, they say. Last time she came here she froze to death as I didn't allow them in the house.
She works in a shed in their garden, mainly on Zoom calls, so I can understand it, but she doesn't normally work on Sundays. 
Last time I did birthday tea, so this time I said snacks only, not a meal.
If I could wave a magic wand I would wish for things to be normal with the grand kids. I miss physical contact with them so much, that close, heads together, contact doing an art project, or making biscuits. The unconscious way they lean into you. As someone who doesn't like physical contact normally, apart from a sexual partner, it is very refreshing and crosses my usual boundaries very happily.
I'm awake in the night again with aching legs. I've taken a pain killer and hope to drift off again. The decorator is coming to finish off, so I can't sleep in. Three days running I have had to wake DH up from a deep sleep. I'm usually awake early.
The one thing that is keeping me sane through all this is doing my memoir and reading my old diaries. But it also stirs up memories. The steady boyfriend I am now writing about died at age 24. I had moved on by then, but I went out with him from 15 to just 18. An important part of my life. He was four years older than me. We had discussed marriage.
The writing is the most important thing my life and essential to my sanity, it gives meaning to my existence. But I am feeling a certain amount of sadness as I revisit that relationship. I went off to university, found my husband to be, and dumped him with the insousciance of youth. My mother found out about his death in the local newspaper. Too young. Cancer.
So now I am writing about the very beginning of our relationship. The very early excitement. Persuading yourself you are 'in love'. Reading my 15 year old self is bitter-sweet.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
A0
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I am ready to have fun. I have spent time organizing beverage glasses in the wet bar. Some are ready to donate to a local charity and I moved them into a box that I’ll drop off in a few days. Those I decided to keep are looking very nice in the newly uncluttered cabinets above the wet bar. The project was satisfying. Sunday I have the opportunity for a riding lesson. I anticipate having a great time whether we’re in the arena or riding outside. I feel good about decluttering and anticipating the horseback ride.❤️3
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Katla - Decluttering is the BEST feeling!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx0 -
Quick update via phone. Joe’ Pressure down to acceptable levels thank God! Can stop taking the sick making pills and reduce some of the drops. Next follow up on the 27th. Feeling grateful
Drove past an entire neighborhood in Phoenix that burned to the ground in September wildfires. TV can’t convey the size and extent of total destruction. So hard to see.
Machka con very gratulations!
Ditto Tracey’s suggestion to celebrate by lying down on your magic couch!
Heather your comments about the carer’s Role really resonated. I couldn’t do what Rori, Machka do. If Joe ever lost his way and became combative that would be it. Please God Let it never come to that.
Margaret hard to be kind to the minions. Glad you found the right one.
Rebecca Athena is growing so very fast!
Pip Very we’ll done!
Karla say hi to Arrow for me.
Tracey such a cute grand puppy!
There were more but I’m on my phone and can’t remember.
Lighter lovelies!
Barbara the S OR coastie AHMOD5 -
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From Action for Happiness ...
"Life is far from perfect, but there are lots of reasons for optimism. Setting positive goals for the future gives our lives a sense of direction and purpose. And although we face many challenges there are also lots of reasons to stay hopeful. By consciously choosing our priorities we can overcome issues, make progress and focus on what really matters."
https://www.actionforhappiness.org/optimistic-october
Oct 9 - Just find the best way forward
Yes!
Oct 10 - Take time to reflect on what you have achieved this week
I have been and it has been quite the week and quite the past 5 years 8 months!! I'm glad that time is over. I'm glad the degree is done. I'm glad I can move on.
But I can't quite believe it yet!
M in Oz
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Tracey - we both get extra 'presents' on our birthday bed.
Painter just finishing off. I'm nervous about it all going back in, which is probably why I didn't sleep well. Once one thing is perfect it sets off my OCD Perfectionism and I can't bear to spoil it. There is so much I would love to replace, but have to get DH on board by gradual, tactful degrees. Plus no money!
Priority is a rug.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
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To those who are struggling with health and other issues ...
M in Oz5 -
Caring for others – I like enough of my own space that I can not imagine doing the job that Beth, Rori and Machka are doing BUT I also know that I would step up to provide the most care and support I could to a friend or loved one. And here, in the part of California I am in, bringing in staff or putting someone in a safe clean care home is so expensive that few can afford it for to long. And insurance doesn’t cover it for the type of situation that most find themselves in, it covers a few days immediately after surgery, but not the support that a senior limited by age related issues would need.
I really think Machka and her hubby’s situation is the one that haunts me more than some because he could not live alone, but is able to do so much and while he has some serious thinking challenges, he is fully aware. So it is not like a home would be right for him at all. He needs and Machka provides so much stimulation and opportunities for new adventures and the safe support he needs. I can not imagine any one but a loved one providing what she does. And without her commitment and support he could not have the quality of life that he does.
Kim from N. California
Your comments brought tears to my eyes.
They also bring up a good point. People don't necessarily go from not needing any care to needing full care in an assisted living home in one fell swoop.
Here, and I suspect in many parts of the world, there isn't much for the in-between stages ... you're kind of left out there, trying to make the best decisions.
Plus ...
- how do you tell when someone has reached the stage where they need an assisted living home?
- if someone does reach that stage, how long are the waiting lists?
- are the places good?
- how much are the fees?
- could you afford it?
You're right that my husband would not "fit" in any sort of assisted living home, but it's not ideal that I work 5 days a week leaving him alone in that time. In an ideal world, someone would come by one morning a week and take him round to Bunnings hardware, have a cup of coffee and a chat with him, and that sort of thing. However, that sort of thing isn't available.
M in Oz3 -
Then he said he wanted to get rid of the bed entirely, not keep it, as a way of ensuring we have no overnight guests, to protect against infection. I reminded him I had no problem telling my friends “not now” because of the pandemic, but I wanted to keep the bed somehow, in case of future need.
I'd go with a futon, sofa bed, or similar. That way, you could use the room for watching TV, exercise or whatever but still have a bed if need be.
One of our sofas is a sofa bed, if we needed it.
M in Oz
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Machka: Congrats on finally finishing your Masters. I will always be sorry that I did not complete my Master's degree in teaching. I took 4 courses and dropped out when work/family became too much for me to handle.
Carol in GACarol Just curious because I have had the same regrets not pursuing a higher degree in engineering. How do you think it would have been an asset? In my case, it might have led to physically easier jobs that might have paid close to what I was making as a highly-skilled, hands-on, engineer with a trade school degree. Maybe my health would be better.
Fae in OrFae, I would have received a larger paycheck for retirement plus just having a higher degree in education makes a bit of difference in whatever school you are in.
Carol in GA
I'm not positive my Master's degree is going to help me much in my area although it might help a little if I move into a more supervisory position at some point.
However, for me, a combination of the Master's degree and skills is something that is desired in the positions that interest me.
So my next step is to work on my SQL skills during down times at work. I do use SQL but I need to get to an advanced level with it. Working on SQL on my own is learning but is a lot different than university learning. No assignments. No deadlines. Working at my own pace.
I also want to become a lot more familiar with Power BI (which I have on my computer at work) and see if I can get my hands on R (which some people in the office have) to become more familiar with data analytics.
Plus there are a number of medical things I'd like to become more familiar with like classification and coding, which one of my work colleagues has started to teach me a bit about.
All those things are available at work, would enhance my work, and I could dabble away at it all when I've got a moment with no stress.
M in Oz
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Hello everyone.
It has been one busy work week glued to my seat and laptop. Not only have we been closing out the quarter; Q4 has started off with a bang. It’s good news and I hope the trend continues.
Nothing has been officially announced at work. I am starting to notice one and two people being let go every week. It would be mentally devastating to me, if I got my walking papers right now. I would get a decent severance which is much more than many others get. I just pray things hold out and I am well though of enough to be considered an asset versus a liability. I was laid off during the housing crisis and it was not fun and was out of work for a little more than a year.
It’s another rainy Saturday with Delta’s storm bands and energy pulling a lot of moisture in to our area. I was hoping to go to Yoga in the Park. I guess that will be put off until next weekend. 😊
Since my last visit we have added 14 pages and 200 posts! We are one busy group.
Heather – I am a stickler for time too. I have my phone with me except for the rare occasion I forget it at home which is maybe once a year. My internal clock works very well for me too so no need for a watch. When I talk to most people they say wearing one is a habit or a fashion statement. I think we both feel the same way about partners. I would rather walk away than to be continuously unhappy.
Katla – Great news about your Schooner’s test results. Yeah!
Karen – My heart was lightened too when I read the post of your dear friend.
Changing of the Clocks – It is time to end it. It not only increases accidents it can and does trigger various illnesses such as heart attacks, depression, and suicide rates.
Fae – Have you tried Kegel exercises? I try to do them a couple of times per week to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles. The liners are also helpful. 😊 Glad to hear your blood test results were positive.
Flea – I am planning a socially distanced Thanksgiving dinner. It will be a very small group of us – only 4 including me. My townhome is L-shaped with large sliders instead of windows. So I am going to open all of the doors, turn on all the ceiling fans, set up a sun shade outside, and depending upon the weather light the fire pit or not. Everyone will have their temperatures taken when they come to my house, including me. I am attempting to work out how appetizers and such will be served. It’s my thought I will plate everything for everyone with gloves and masks. Still working out the details.
Rebecca – Love the kitty photo with the fall leaves.
Debbie – Sorry to hear about DH ranting versus talking. Knowing me I would not do well in that situation and would have to have a “sit down”. Charlie was a night owl and I am a day person. I would tell him I am going to wash the floors tomorrow morning. He would vacuum before I got home from work (he was a college professor and did not have classes on Fridays) so I could mop Saturday morning and not disturb his sleep. Being opposites in the sleep area allowed us to have private time and together time. It worked well for us. Sorry you feel you cannot start over. I totally get it. When I think about retirement I waver back and forth about selling my home and moving to another State. It will require big changes of me which are scary.
Tracey – Great news about your upgrade at work!
Kim – I am so happy mom is doing well post-surgery. Thank you for the Lisa update. Sending positive thoughts.
Katla – How often does DH check his sugar? It seems he has more than enough episodes. I know many can check their sugar and then have an episode. They are very scary!
Carol – When I called Got Junk to remove some furniture I was surprised by the cost. I donated everything I could and then moved the stuff out to the curb on bulk trash day.
Machka – Last workshop!!!!! You are almost there. So happy for you!!
KJ – Love the family pictures. Miquel is growing so quickly. He’s a cutie!
I am almost caught up! About 10 more pages to go! Hope to catch up with all of the posts by the end of the day.
Hugs to all.
SuziQ – SFL2 -
Machka - Well done! I know I've appreciated your IT tips over the years, we are so fortunate to have you here.
Extra bed for guests - I'm a fan of the inflatable Aerobed, not sure if they still make them, but I know there are similar on the market. I slept on one for a month or so while we were in the process of selling and buying houses at the same time. One of the best sleeps ever.
Make it a great weekend, ladies!
Lanette
SW WA State where we are getting a nice dose of rainfall here this weekend.3 -
Morning ladies
Machka- If I lived closer I would love to come take your hubby out..except im a fer piece away lol..
I have laundry in the dryer and will hop in the shower and run over to the lab for bloodwork.for nephrologist and pick up new jug..
I am hearing way to many sirens this morning....and im guessing its the start of duck hunting season because i hear gunshots..1 -
Christmas --
Plan A was to go to Canada and spend Christmas with my family who I have not seen since July 2017. Of course that's not possible and we'll be lucky to be able to travel to Canada next Christmas. International travel is not supposed to resume till the end of 2021 now.
Plan B is to wait and see what the situation is when we get there. Christmas isn't for another 2.5 months. A lot can happen in 2.5 months, as we know from the first 2.5 months this year!!
Down here, we're quite free because Tasmania doesn't have any cases. If it stays like it is, we'll travel somewhere in Tasmania to cycle, hike, etc. However, the borders are supposed to open at the end of this month which could change everything and we may be spending Christmas at home in shutdown again. Either way, it'll be good. R&R.
I love Christmas. I enjoy putting up a few decorations, listening to Christmas music, going to Christmas services, doing a bit of Christmas baking ... and taking a holiday from work!! I'll have the week off between Christmas and New Year's of course, and will likely take the following week off too ... or maybe a week later in January. Or both. As long as I can spend time cycling, hiking, running, etc., that'll be great!
I don't do cards or letters anymore. I shop for the bare minimum of presents - usually gift cards for a few select people. And I don't do the big Christmas dinner - in fact, in recent years, we've gone out somewhere nice for dinner on Christmas day so that there is no hassle at all. Low stress.
Machka in Oz3 -
Day 1 of Freedom --
I was actually up earlier than I thought I'd be. I wasn't completely exhausted!!
We spent the afternoon going around to a couple tip shops and to a department store we explored the other day.
We're trying to create a different sort of Christmas tree this year which will involve putting ornaments into little boxes so I've now got a collection of little bamboo boxes.
I also got a few sets of bookends to try this folding the clothes upright thing.
And then I did laundry.
I hardly know where to begin. There is so much to do in the house which has just been left while my attention was elsewhere.
M in Oz
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Today is Jake's birthday. First he wanted me to make a roast chicken, then he decided that since it would require a trip to the grocery store, we should order delivery pizza instead. This morning he remembered how uncomfortable he felt after eating pizza the last time and how he had declared "never again". So he decided to spend the equivalent of the cost of take out pizza on two political contributions and now he's happy. I'm going to vacuum after I walk the dogs. That always makes him happy. No gifts because he just buys what he wants (battery powered lawn mower, trimmer, leaf blower, flannel shirts, winter jacket). We have rain today which is a very good thing. Barbie in NW WA 3
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@Machka9 congratulations!0
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