Why counting calories indefinitely perceived as bad thing?
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My husband could eat half a biscuit where as I'd have to restrain myself from eating the whole pack, so we have to do what works for us, individually.
But what is "weird" anyway?
My mother calls me weird for liking strong black coffee where as I think she is weird for having fixed meal times including a fixed 5pm time for her dinner.
Just do what works as that is all that matters.4 -
I remember hearing someone on the radio say that she didn't want to be one those who counted her almonds and she also said that she didn't mind being 50 lbs overweight. Well, I am one of those who counted my almonds to know the calories and when I wasn't, I was 50 lbs overweight. I chose counting the almonds and getting to goal weight and staying there for 12 years. At this point, I am more relax. I know about the number of almonds by how it fills my hand and so forth but I do log almost daily and I am so happy that I have. It's a habit like brushing my teeth.9
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I am pretty much approaching my life with the assumption that I will have to log calories for the rest of my life, and I'm okay with that, if it means I don't develop diabetes or heart disease and I can have fun playing with my grandchildren.10
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No one thinks it's weird when diabetics daily monitor their glucose levels. It's just part of maintaining their health. I look at counting calories the same way. Sure, most people don't have to do it, but I know that I DO. I do better when I log calories and tend to backslide when I don't.14
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When calorie counting required keeping a separate journal from what one carries around day to day as well as having a pen handy and a book to check calorie counts I think doing it permanently seemed unrealistic. Now that it’s done with one device you carry anyway and takes about 2 minutes a day, that doesn’t seem unrealistic at all.10
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I don't care what other people think. If it works for me - physically, psychologically - it's fine.
I've been at a healthy weight for 5+ years now, after 3 previous *decades* of being obese (despite being active/athletic for the last dozen years of that).
I'm dramatically healthier (cholesterol, blood pressure, pain levels) now that I'm at a healthy weight. If weird is what it takes to be at a healthy weight, and get those benefits, I'm all in.
What others do is their choice.11 -
I had written something that basically agrees with what everyone else has said, so I will spare you the redundancy and delete it.
But really, you do you. I'm a little concerned @Tanie98, as far as you worrying that you might have to record your calories behind your boyfriend's back. Feeling like you have to do a completely normal thing behind the back of your partner... *that* strikes me as weird. I don't say this as a criticism of you. I hope you two find a way to work this out.10 -
Yes that concerned me too.
Who cares if others think it is weird or not??
Although IME nobody but my husband knows anyway - I am experienced enough now to do approximations when out and I only weigh at home and logging can be done without drawing anyone else attention to it.
But I don't have to do it behind my husbands back. I don't make a song and dance about it but I certainly don't hide it from him either.
And maybe he thinks it is weird but that is relationships for you, you accept each others harmless weirdities.3 -
No one thinks it's weird when diabetics daily monitor their glucose levels. It's just part of maintaining their health. I look at counting calories the same way. Sure, most people don't have to do it, but I know that I DO. I do better when I log calories and tend to backslide when I don't.
I am not sure the bolded is true. Overweight and obesity are still climbing with no end in sight. Awareness of what we are eating has to get higher. It does not have to be calorie counting but it needs to be something.
I know of some intuitive eaters. I am working with one at the moment to try and help her lose weight. She is obese from a life event and then has maintained her weight (range) for more than 10 years. But her method of intuitive eating is very harsh. She is in this mini binge restrict cycle. She allows her life to crowd out eating on a regular basis but manages to only eat enough food to get back to maintenance. It is very interesting but still problematic. When she tried to go on a "book" diet she gained weight because she was put on a schedule and her food habits are to eat a lot when she finally eats. There was no calorie control. I seriously doubt her current food habits can be adapted for long term success so even she will mostly likely need to move to portion awareness and accountability.
The point in all this is that if an intuitive eater doesn't understand how their system equalizes they are vulnerable to weight gain when life interferes. It also appears that, at least in this case, just because someone is an IE doesn't mean they practice healthy food habits.
The first problem with calorie counting (other than mental health issues for some) is that initially it is tedious and it probably always seems that way from the outside. I spend so little time doing it I barely give it a thought these days but initially, yeah, it kind of sucked.
The second problem is that people see it as a nanny system. They do not want to feel that restriction. They feel more free when they can eat without logging. I had food freedom. It cost me all kinds of other freedom. I am not interested in food freedom anymore. But not everyone has travelled the extremes I have so even though I see logging as freeing, not everyone else will.6 -
I never hear anyone say that they should know how much money is in their bank account without ever accounting for what they spend or how much they're depositing and that it's "weird" for us to pay attention to that.
Back in the days when we had to work hard for every calorie and we sustained lean times as well as flush times, it makes sense that energy imbalance wasn't really a concern (except for the very real concern of TOO LITTLE energy). In our current unnatural state, I'm using tools to implement a balance between the energy I use and the energy that I'm consuming, something that increases my odds of long term health.
OP, as a side note, if you feel like making a life with this guy means that you have to hide stuff like this, I think that's really unfortunate. My husband has to pay attention to things that are easy for me and vice versa. That's how (some) good partnerships work. The goal should be to extend grace to each other and celebrate the little differences that make us unique, not make you want to hide stuff about yourself.6 -
janejellyroll wrote: »OP, as a side note, if you feel like making a life with this guy means that you have to hide stuff like this, I think that's really unfortunate. My husband has to pay attention to things that are easy for me and vice versa. That's how (some) good partnerships work. The goal should be to extend grace to each other and celebrate the little differences that make us unique, not make you want to hide stuff about yourself.
I would second this. My husband comments sometimes that I am "so disciplined" but also recognises that my watching/counting calories means that he has a better sense of what he needs to cut out when he needs to shed a few pounds.
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We live in an unnatural environment, as far as food and physical activity are concerned. We did not evolve for an environment where food was so available, so hyperpalatable, so calorie dense, and getting it required so little physical activity.
So yeah, calorie counting is not the most "natural" way to live. But an unnatural food environment requires unnatural countermeasures.
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I have found "I need you to have my back on this" a very effective way to get support rather than eye rolling from my spouse. Not just for calorie counting/weighing food, either.
Happily married for 33 years.14 -
The second problem is that people see it as a nanny system. They do not want to feel that restriction. They feel more free when they can eat without logging. I had food freedom. It cost me all kinds of other freedom. I am not interested in food freedom anymore. But not everyone has travelled the extremes I have so even though I see logging as freeing, not everyone else will.
Agree with this 100%. For me, logging is freedom*. When I didn’t log, I had a lot more self-judgment about “good/bad” foods and felt like certain foods had to be eliminated. With logging, I see the whole picture. I don’t worry about whatever I’m eating because I’ve planned, it fits my goals, and I can just enjoy it without some nebulous worry that everything will be derailed.
*On rereading this it sounds kind of 1984, but I’m sticking with it.6 -
Don't assume other's perceptions are reality. Their distortions can lead to more mind warp. Take what you need from a bunch of different sources. There's safety in that.
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If it's not weird for people to photograph and post on social media their overly indulgent restaurant meals, then I have no second thoughts calorie counting my food.
@psychod787 I need more 'gym' friends - how to find them when gyms are locked down?7 -
Mithridites wrote: »If it's not weird for people to photograph and post on social media their overly indulgent restaurant meals, then I have no second thoughts calorie counting my food.
@psychod787 I need more 'gym' friends - how to find them when gyms are locked down?
It is weird for people to post their meals but I still won't give it a second thought calorie counting.
I am not sure why someone needs to even comment on the health and fitness process of another person. The calorie counting people accept but getting up super early in the morning still catches comments all the time. What difference does it make to you what time I get up? I am not better than you for getting up early, I am just different. If I had more discipline I could exercise later in the day without fear of talking myself out of it. I get up early so I do not have to be as disciplined not because I am more disciplined.3 -
Mithridites wrote: »If it's not weird for people to photograph and post on social media their overly indulgent restaurant meals, then I have no second thoughts calorie counting my food.
@psychod787 I need more 'gym' friends - how to find them when gyms are locked down?
It is weird for people to post their meals but I still won't give it a second thought calorie counting.
I am not sure why someone needs to even comment on the health and fitness process of another person. The calorie counting people accept but getting up super early in the morning still catches comments all the time. What difference does it make to you what time I get up? I am not better than you for getting up early, I am just different. If I had more discipline I could exercise later in the day without fear of talking myself out of it. I get up early so I do not have to be as disciplined not because I am more disciplined.
That is a beautiful way to put it.
Sure beats the "I like getting up early and working out, makes a nice start to the day, and sure is better than working out later like all you lazy-a** people do."
For some odd reason the latter comes off wrong.
Oh, I almost got inspired couple weeks ago to get up early after missing my evening workout due to errand timing, sadly that was about 1:30 am and easily talked myself out of it.3 -
I track with the end goal of eventually not needing to.
Not good or bad.
Do you...0 -
Mithridites wrote: »If it's not weird for people to photograph and post on social media their overly indulgent restaurant meals, then I have no second thoughts calorie counting my food.
@psychod787 I need more 'gym' friends - how to find them when gyms are locked down?
It is weird for people to post their meals but I still won't give it a second thought calorie counting.
I am not sure why someone needs to even comment on the health and fitness process of another person. The calorie counting people accept but getting up super early in the morning still catches comments all the time. What difference does it make to you what time I get up? I am not better than you for getting up early, I am just different. If I had more discipline I could exercise later in the day without fear of talking myself out of it. I get up early so I do not have to be as disciplined not because I am more disciplined.
Some people routinely question the decency or rationality of people with different habits or tastes than themselves. It's bizarre to me.
I'm a long-term night owl. I can't begin to count how many times I've been asked "what do you dooooo in the middle of the night"? The answer is stuff like read books, fold laundry, work out, or whatever else the heck they do in the morning while I'm still happily sleeping. Do they suspect I'm sacrificing goats in my basement?!?
It would surprise me if the reactions, at the margin, were different when it comes to differences in dietary patterns, workout choices, methods of weight management, or pretty much any other area where people vary in their preferences or choices.5
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